Worst movie ever?....

[Dune]

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CANNIBAL WOMEN IN THE AVOCADO JUNGLE OF DEATH

Rated PG-13 (There is nudity though.)
Copyright 1988 Gaucamolle Pictures.
Reviewed a long time ago.

 The Characters
 Dr. Margo Hunt - Shannon Tweed! Professor of Feminist Studies.
 Bunny - Every liberated woman's nightmare, but she wants to be a feminist. This girl has more outfits than you can shake a stick at.
 Jim - Bill Maher! Inept guide who once had a one night stand with Margo.
 Dr. Kurtz - Another feminist, author of "Smart Women, Stupid Insensitive Men." Throws herself into a pool of Piranhas in the end.
 Colonel Mattel - Head of the National Security Commission on Avocado Affairs. He has one eye.
 Piranha Women - Savage feminists who believe men should be killed and eaten with guacamolle dip.
 Barracuda Women - Savage feminists who believe men should be killed and eaten with clam dip.

The Plot
Talk about strange and wonderous things! This film is full of camp, not only is southern California transformed into wild avocado jungle but it is inhabited by man eating feminists! Shannon Tweed, whose breasts have starred in numerous films, is a teacher of women's studies! Then of course there is Bunny, this girl is every teenage guy's dream and every feminists nightmare - but she wants to be a progressive woman. There are plenty of little gags here and there, most of them involving Maher and Bunny being boneheads. Dr. Hunt is recruited by the U.S. Government to make liaison with the Pirahna Women and hires Jim as her guide. After encountering vicious hippos, catfish, and Donnahews (men who knit and cook) the explorers discover the Pirahna women are led by a savage ex-feminist and poised to wage war! Bunny nearly joins the cannibals but is unable to complete the initiation rite, which involves her making love to then consuming Jim. Everything works out in the end though, Kurtz is slain, Jim and Bunny marry, and Dr. Hunt returns to her college. A fun film with plenty of women running around in leather loincloths and tops.

 Things I learned from this Movie
 Most of southern California is virgin jungle.
 Girls just want to tear men into strips and eat them with gaucamolle dip.
 An hour and a half of feminine nonsense punctuated with half-nude women is tolerable.
 Bill Maher is the last real man but he looks fairly effeminate in a white neck kerchief.
 There are leopards living wild in California.
 Lost female tribes speak French.
 If given a choice between Bill Maher or Shannon Tweed in their underwear I would pick the latter.
 Bunny has a damn lot of clothes, what is up with this girl?

 Things to Watch For
 3 mins-RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
 4 mins-Pretty pale skin for living in a jungle her whole life.
 14 mins-Now this is a shirt.
 18 mins-That's a pretty small barrel for a .44 Magnum, maybe it's a 44 Magnum divided by 2?
 19 mins-Bunny in one of many outfits, where she keeps them nobody knows.
 38 mins-Mallards in a tropical rain forest?
 46 mins-Just conjuring up cases of beer huh? But why Old Milwaukee? Ugh.
 75 mins-The compound must be right on the international date line, one side is day the other night.

[aknimitz]

Boxing Helena OR Dark City.

Nim

[Nifty]

Guys, given D's reputation for his DVD collection, which includes quite a few, well, awful movies...  if he says "worst movie ever" and "zero redeeming value" then you gotta believe him.

[LePaul]

"Forbidden Planet"

Leslie Neilsen in a "real" role?  Too hard to beleive

[babek-]

Pearl Harbor.

I still cant believe that they used modern US-ships during the attack scenes. Even old-japanese-Godzilla-style-plastic ships would have been better than the modern missile ships of the USN attacked by IJN Zeros/D3A/B5N...

[Thunder9]

Originally posted by Mini D
I know you think you might have seen the worst movie ever...

Over the Top[/SIZE]    "Starring" Sylvester Stallone...UGH!

[Sox62]

Monsignor.

[RightF00T]

Ebert and Roper were on Jay Leno the other night and they said that the attendants wouldn't even let them in the movies on the opening weekend because they guessed the producers thought the movie was so bad.  I'm trying to remember if they were talking about the Justin & Kelly movie or Dumb and Dumbeerere.

[swoopy]

The new Italian job

[rpm]

Chrome and Hot Leather


Outlaw Bikers kill a Green Beret's sister. He grabs 3 of his buddies, runs across the street, buys Kawasaki Dirt Bikes and they "blend in" with the Outlaw Harley Bikers and search for the killer.

 Fatal Plot Flaw #1: Bikers did not immediately fall to ground laughing when they ride up on Kawasaki's.

 Fatal Plot Flaw #2: Badprettythang Outlaw Bikers do not wear Yellow Scarf's.

[Frogm4n]

the hulk was better then spiderman.

[SOB]

I still say it doesn't get any worse than Entrapment.  It lures you in with Sean Connery and Ving Raimes and the hope of some Catherine Zeta Jones booby, plus what seems to be a great story about a thief who uses stealth and all kinds of cool gadgets to steal stuff that's under super high security.  And with all that expectation, you go see the movie and feel like you were just the butt of a horrible joke gone wrong.  Then, after vomiting up your expensive popcorn and soda, you vow to never again be drawn into a movie that stars Sean Connery and a young woman, and that you now hate Catherine Zeta Jones so much that you don't even wanna see her nekkid.

Dumb and Dumberer, on the other hand, pretty much spells out that it's going to suck from the get go.  You go in with no expectations, and if you even get a chuckle out of it, you're ahead of the game.  I'll give it a watch though, because I'm a movie masochist, and to see if I'm wrong.


SOB

[Mickey1992]

Speaking of Sean....his upcoming USD$110 Million project looks like crap too.

[Holden McGroin]

Originally posted by LePaul
"Forbidden Planet"

Leslie Neilsen in a "real" role?  Too hard to beleive

I saw it on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and it was great!

[Mini D]

Originally posted by Nifty
Guys, given D's reputation for his DVD collection, which includes quite a few, well, awful movies...  if he says "worst movie ever" and "zero redeeming value" then you gotta believe him.

You are correct, but wait until SOB sees it and all is confirmed.

Forbidden Planet was great.  Can't believe someone listed that.

MiniD