Engineers....

[Mini D]

An optimist looks at a glass and says "This glass is half full."
A pecimist looks at a glass and says "This glass is half empty."
An engineer looks at a glass and says "This glass is two times bigger than it needs to be."

[Mini D]

A priest, a doctor and an engineer are playing golf.  The group in front of them has someone that is swinging all over and seldomely even hitting the ball.  It is taking forever to progress.

Then finally flag down the course marshall and ask if he'll help them out.  The marshall informs them that the gentleman in front of them used to be a fireman.  One evening, the clubhouse caught fire and that fireman singlehandedly rescued the 30 people trapped inside.  Unfortunately, he was hit by a falling beam and lost his eyesight as a result.  Regardless, the golf course told him he was welcome to play at any time... and they honored that comitment.

The priest said, "That's so tragic.  I'll have my congregation pray for him and ask God to restore his vision."

The doctor said, "I'll call some optometrists I know and see if there's anything they can do to cure him."

The engineer said, "Couldn't he just play at night?"

[rpm]

Timmy, Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

[udet]

[capt. apathy]

any man can design a bridge to stay up.  it requires an engineer to design a bridge to barely stay up.

[SaburoS]

MiniD  

LOL! Thanks for sharing

[Holden McGroin]

A few engineers were discussing that because of the wonderous design of the human body, what kind of engineer was God?

The first argued that God must be a mechanical engineer...  "Just look at the intricacies of the musculature and skeletal structure, the wonderfully designed hydraulics that is the circulatory system."

The second argued that the brain and nervous system are far more complicated than that of any computer and this argued in favor of God being an electrical engineer.

The third argued, "You're both wrong, God is a civil engineer.  Who else would locate a recreational site in the same place as the sewage disposal facility?"

[lazs2]

most look at the glass and say that it is 2.257 times to large.
lazs

[Syzygyone]

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.  He reduces
altitude and spots a man down below.  He lowers the balloon further and
shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "yes you are in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above
this field."  "You must work in Engineering" says the balloonist. "I do,"
replies the man, "how did you know."

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically
correct, but it is of no use to me."

The man below says, "You must work in management."

"I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are,
or where you are going, but you expect me to be able to help.  You are in the
same position you were before we met, but now it is my fault."

[john9001]

slide rule joke....2 x 2 = 3.999

[Suave]

Originally posted by Mini D
An optimist looks at a glass and says "This glass is half full."
A pecimist looks at a glass and says "This glass is half empty."
An engineer looks at a glass and says "This glass is two times bigger than it needs to be."

While others among us see a crude but effective weapon .

[MrCoffee]

White man loks at glass and says, piss?
Black man looks at glass and says, old english or kingcobra?
Asian man looks at glass and says, hey thats not tea, thats piss!
Latino man looks at glass and says, tequila!

[Suave]

Originally posted by MrCoffee
White man loks at glass and says, piss?
Black man looks at glass and says, old english or kingcobra?
Asian man looks at glass and says, hey thats not tea, thats piss!
Latino man looks at glass and says, tequila!

I don't get it .

[funkedup]

Originally posted by Syzygyone
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.  He reduces
altitude and spots a man down below.  He lowers the balloon further and
shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "yes you are in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above
this field."  "You must work in Engineering" says the balloonist. "I do,"
replies the man, "how did you know."

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically
correct, but it is of no use to me."

The man below says, "You must work in management."

"I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are,
or where you are going, but you expect me to be able to help.  You are in the
same position you were before we met, but now it is my fault."

This is a classic, thanks.  

[midnight Target]

Originally posted by MrCoffee
White man loks at glass and says, piss?
Black man looks at glass and says, old english or kingcobra?
Asian man looks at glass and says, hey thats not tea, thats piss!
Latino man looks at glass and says, tequila!

What are you? 12?