Author Topic: My son..the shoplifter  (Read 1512 times)

Offline funkedup

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #15 on: July 30, 2003, 02:05:56 PM »
Curval you have the right idea.  I still remember when my mom caught me grabbing some bubble gum from at the Rink's checkout when I was 5.  :)

Offline capt. apathy

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #16 on: July 30, 2003, 02:10:05 PM »
luckly I've never had to deal with that one.  (one's 18 so I figure I've made the finish line with him.  5 more years without a major problem and I figure I can start bragging).

as I see it you did just the right thing.  the phone call ahead was a great idea btw,  I've talked to friends who've done it without the call only to have the store guy say "it's just a piece of candy, no big deal, don't worry about it" and completely screw up the whole thing.

I love to see other parents make their kids take responsability for their actions, and wish more did.  one day your kid will thank you for it.

Offline gofaster

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #17 on: July 30, 2003, 02:14:29 PM »
Oh yeah, wanted to pass along a story, for real this time.

So my wife and I went to a CART race earlier this year.  The souvenir booths were being run by the Police Athletic League as part of their fundraising efforts.  At the end of the race I decided to pick up a shirt or two on the way out, and apparently half the fans there decided to do that also.

As we're bustling in the crowd around the folding table yelling our orders, the boy tossing the merchandise throws me my shirt and I give the man collecting the money my cash.  My wife barks her order and the boy throws her a shirt and we turn to leave.

Once we're outside the mob circle, my wife realizes that she hadn't given the cashier her money.  She's thinking "Cool! A free shirt!".  I look at her and tell her "Hey, its charity.  We're not that hard up for money."  We wade back into the mob scene and give the man our money.  He looks at us and says "What size?" and my wife explains what happened.

I would've forgotten about the incident by now but my wife recently brought it back up as part of a childhood memory about her dad and his attitude about money.  Seems he had instilled in them the notion that if a merchant forgets to charge for a good or a service, then its ok to keep the free item/service, the opinion being that hey, it was the merchant's fault so they should eat the cost of their mistake.

I, on the other hand, believe that its wrong to take advantage of another person's error, particularly when the money is for charity.

So fess up, have you ever used an expired coupon, or taken advantage of a mis-priced item, or any of the other little "errors" in buying something?

Offline SaburoS

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #18 on: July 30, 2003, 02:16:03 PM »
Might want to take one of his favorite toys and donate it to that store. Additional lesson learned for the kid.
You take, something will be taken from you. He'll learn how it is not only from the embarrassment of apologizing, but also from losing something as well.
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Offline gofaster

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #19 on: July 30, 2003, 02:18:37 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by SaburoS
Might want to take one of his favorite toys and donate it to that store. Additional lesson learned for the kid.
You take, something will be taken from you. He'll learn how it is not only from the embarrassment of apologizing, but also from losing something as well.


Too harsh.  Think of the corollary: if something is taken from him and returned, he'll demand something from the thief.

Laws are intended to put the aggrieved parties back in the state in which they existed prior to the harm, not allow a party to benefit unjustly.

Offline SaburoS

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #20 on: July 30, 2003, 02:21:33 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by gofaster
Too harsh.  Think of the corollary: if something is taken from him and returned, he'll demand something from the thief.

Laws are intended to put the aggrieved parties back in the state in which they existed prior to the harm, not allow a party to benefit unjustly.


He'll learn the most how it feels to have something taken from him. Bet he doesn't steal again because he'll now know what a victim of theft feels like.
Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin -- more even than death.... Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. ... Bertrand Russell

Offline Preon1

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #21 on: July 30, 2003, 02:32:06 PM »
I remember as a young teenager I went on a serious shoplifting binge.  Me and my friends took things from stores because we could (and it was fun).  Most of the stuff we kept hidden from our parents so that it wouldn't raise any questions.  We even had a couple of brushes with the law but none of them stuck.  Then, one day I was caught with a buddy that simply couldn't lie his way out.  Then his parents found out.  Then my parents found out.  I've never stolen a thing since.

Moral of the story:  Parents, you enjoy the responcibility of being the single most powerful influence on their children's lives.  Never take that lightly and NEVER try and blame your demon child's behavior on pop music or video games.

...And every now and then, help them clean their room...  just to see what they keep hidden in the closet.

Offline Curval

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #22 on: July 30, 2003, 02:55:51 PM »
I was a bit reluctant to post about this incident, but I see that many of us here have had similar experiences....whew..:)

The manager played the part as if he was born to be a cop.  He marched my son into his office in the back of the store and started off by being very scary.  He didn't yell, but he was firm.  My son was very very humble.  He sobbed and openly cried at times.

The message got through I think.  He told his mother how sorry he was afterwards and said he would never do it again...no prompting on behalf of his mum.

I told him that I was disappointed in him (the look on his face when I said that damn near broke my heart), but I also told him about my experience when I was a kid and that what happened today was all about learning.  He made a mistake and I told him that he should learn from it.  I think he will.
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Offline capt. apathy

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #23 on: July 30, 2003, 03:02:00 PM »
Quote
about her dad and his attitude about money. Seems he had instilled in them the notion that if a merchant forgets to charge for a good or a service, then its ok to keep the free item/service, the opinion being that hey, it was the merchant's fault so they should eat the cost of their mistake.


wow,  I'm usually not nieve but I was origanally shocked at the idea of someone teaching their kid that that form of theft is ok.  

of course I imediatly realized that there are people out there not only teaching their kids that stealing is ok but some of them teaching the kids how to do it.  I've just always, kinda by default, assumed that most stealing where people who's parents didn't take the time to raise.

the thing is that you wife probably didn't even realize she was stealing until it was pointed out to her

Offline chance-airwolf

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Pardon the hijack....
« Reply #24 on: July 30, 2003, 06:19:33 PM »
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I had this Star Trek plastic gun that shot these little colored disks from it....  - Rude
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Hey! I had one of those!  Great toy to terroize the family dog and older brothers.

Chance

Offline midnight Target

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #25 on: July 30, 2003, 06:28:20 PM »
Just last week my wife got change back for a $20 after paying with a $10.

She pointed out the error to the checker, and the reaction she got was incredible. You'de think she was Mother Theresa or something. The cashier went on and on about how grateful she was for my wife's honesty and how few people do what she did and ... well it was sickening.

Offline Vulcan

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #26 on: July 30, 2003, 07:43:49 PM »
When I was 9 or 10 I grabbed a Penthouse, chopped it up and sold the piccies at school off individually.

I'm in IT sales now and I turned out fine :D

Offline Eagler

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take a lesson from our arab "friends" ..
« Reply #27 on: July 30, 2003, 08:30:46 PM »
cut his right hand off - he will not steal again

and if she beats him in the parking lot, make sure its outa view of the parking lot cameras :)
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Offline davidpt40

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #28 on: July 30, 2003, 08:45:47 PM »
Couldn't the same effect be produced by just explaining to the kids why shoplifting is wrong?  Especially if the kid is over 10 years old.

I think it would work.  Scaring the kid might work for a week or two, but if he knows the reasoning behind it, it would prevent it from happening again.

Offline Maverick

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My son..the shoplifter
« Reply #29 on: July 30, 2003, 08:47:01 PM »
My Mother did the same thing to me when I was about 5 or 6. I recall it very clearly. She tought me that 2 things were absolutely not tollerated were theft and lying. I made that same message clear to my son as well. There are other things that aren't allowed either but those two are instant hot buttons.
Curval for taking the time to love your kids enough to teach them. Far too many of todays parents jusat ignore their kids and society suffers for it.
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