Been saving this til Navy Planes arrived, but here goes

[milnko]

With the News that 1.05 will have Navy planes, thought I'd share this with ya

It was late at night as the Pope, who had just departed this world, was approaching the gates of heaven. There was no one around, but there was a small shack just prior to the gates with a light on. The Pope stepped into the shack and startled a young man half-asleep sitting at a small steel gray desk.

"Excuse me" said the Pope, "but I'm supposed to check in here with St. Peter, but there is no one at the gate."

"Yea, Yea" said the young man, "where are your orders?"

"I don't have any orders", said the Pope.

"Well, its too late to check in tonight anyhow" said the young man, "Just go around to the back of this building, find a rack and dump your gear in a locker. St. Peter will be here in the morning and you can check in then."

The Pope grabs his stuff and walks around the building only to find a W.W.II style open bay barracks. The racks are stacked three high and the only open one is all the way at the end of the building, and it is on top. He drags his stuff to the end of the building but there is no locker for him. He takes a deep breath, thinks about it for a minute and decides this is just one final test. He crawls up into his rack and falls asleep.

Suddenly he is awakened by the loud commotion outside the barracks. As he walks outside he sees a huge crowd of angels cheering and clapping as a gold convertible limousine approaches. As it draws nearer, the Pope sees a guy in a flight suit and Navy leather flight jacket in the back seat with a beautiful angel on each arm, a beer in his hand and he is smoking one of the biggest cigars the Pope has ever seen.

The Pope turns to the young man who checked him in and asks, "Who is that guy?"

"A Naval Aviator," the young man replied.

The Pope says, "I don't get it. I worked hard all of my life to do God's work on earth. As a young man I studied hard at the seminary, as a priest, I labored hard to tend my flock and provide guidance when they strayed. I struggled as a bishop to serve the church and as Pope, I was able to attract more followers of the faith. Yet, when I reach heaven, St. Peter isn't here to greet me. I have to carry my own bags. I get stuck in the top rack of an open bay barracks and I don't even have a locker for my bags!"

The young man looks at the Pope and says, "Look, we get a Pope every 20-30 years, but he is the only Naval Aviator who has ever made it!"

 

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CyberPilots have bigger Joysticks
BANDITS ON MY SIX!!!!

<< MILENKO >>
ACES HIGH ASSASSINS Website
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[milnko]

Couple more cuz' I'm drinking coffee, tryin to wake up before I log on to the MA.

WARNING: Mustang Drivers may find this joke offensive  

A Mustang Pilot walks into the "O" club and orders 9 shots of tequilia. So the bartender pours nine shots and the man downs one after the other.

"Holy sh*t!" the baretnder exclaims "That's the most tequila I've ever seen anyone drink that fast before - whats the occassion!?!"

"My first blow job" the P-51 Driver anounces.

"Way to go!" the bartender replies "let me buy you another!"

"Listen" The Pony pilot says "If 9 doesn't take the taste out of my mouth, another one won't help."  


[This message has been edited by milnko (edited 09-19-2000).]

[milnko]

For our French Comrades


Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.

Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!"

Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.

"What are you doing, Pierre?" says the startled Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!"

She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower."

Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her chest.

"Pierre! What are you doing?" asks the bewildered Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!"

They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me lower!"

Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He strikes a match and lights it on fire.

Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously,               "PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE
DOING?"

Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, "I am Pierre the fighter pilot! And when I go down, I go down in flames!"

[Lizard3]

 

[milnko]

Aw cmon guys the jokes weren't THATBad!!!  


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CyberPilots have bigger Joysticks
BANDITS ON MY SIX!!!!

<< MILENKO >>
ACES HIGH ASSASSINS Website
WB/AH ASSASSINS Website

[WizOfClay]

i thought they were pretty good...  
didn't really get the first one though  
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...but he is the only Naval Aviator who has ever made it!"???



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Wiz of TSM

"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."
                                --W.C. Fields (1879-1946)

[Hamish]

WOC: Ever seen a group of sailors out on liberty after a long time at sea?

A naval aviator is a higher paid version who gets to fly  


hamish!

P.S. Love em Milenko  

[hblair]

Spewed my coffee on the second one. I don't think hangtime's gonna dig it much.  

They were definately better than the one about the "fokkers".

 

[SFRT - Frenchy]

I was at the airport when I read all this, the French jocke blasted me away from my chair, I was laugthing so hard that other pilots in the pilot lounge watched me strangely  

[Hangtime]

Two Luftwaffe pilots out for a stroll in the woods, come across a set of tracks.

"Bear tracks" Says one..

"Nein, das ist un deer track!" says the other.

"BEAR TRACK!" Shouts the first.

"I haff 34 kills; I haff hunted over zee woods; dis ist zer DEER TRACK!!!" roars the second; while angrily pointing down at the tracks.

They were still standing there arguing when the train hit 'em.

 

Hang

[hblair]

ouch hang!