Hope these give you a laugh or two, have a great day.
(NewsWire - Oct 20 2003)
Overheard on the Mexico City ground control freq.... F-100: Ground control, F-100 ready to taxi. Ground: F-100 clear to taxi to Runway 5 left. Follow the 767 ahead of you. F-100: Where is the '67 going? Ground: To Madrid ... but you just follow him till before the runway!!!
(NewsWire - Oct 13 2003)
From Grand Rapids tower... Tower to Continental ABC: I see that your flight plan states, "no ice". (pause) Won't the passengers be upset? Tower (again): Sorry, I couldn't help myself
(NewsWire - Sep 22 2003)
Back in the 70's, BOAC (British Airways) flew into O'Hare Chicago and their call sign was "Speedbird"... O'Hare: Speedbird xxx slow to 200 kts. Speedbird xxx: Sorry, running late, need to keep the speed up. O'Hare: Ok, turn right 90 degrees and keep your speed up. Speedbird xxx: Errr, how long would we be on that heading? O'Hare: ‘Till you slow to 200. Speedbird xxx: Roger, slowing to 200
(NewsWire - Sep 1 2003)
Control: Continental XXX give me a good rate please through FL100? Continental XXX: Well sir, we are doing 2000fpm Controller: Could you make it 3000 fpm? Continental XXX: No Sir. Controller: Oh ... do you not have speedbrakes? Continental: Yes sir, I do, but that is for MY mistakes, not for YOURS!
(NewsWire - Aug 18 2003)
As I was heading across the Desert a few monthes back, at the height of the Iraqi war, and wanting to cut through R2515 around Edwards Air Force Base, I had the following exchange with Joshua Approach... Joshua Approach, Musketeer 123 requesting transition through R2515. Joshua: Restricted area currently off limits, but let me talk to them at Edwards. (About 20 seconds of dead air and then Joshua came back to me.) Joshua: Musketeer 123, Proceed through the restricted area as requested, they need some practice on slow targets.
(NewsWire - Jun 9 2003)
An exchange overheard between departure control at a Canadian airport and a B727 pilot. Pilot: Where's Annule? Dep. Control: What is it ... an intersection or something? Pilot: I don't know. Dep. Control: Where did you see it? Pilot: On the screens in the terminal. Lots of airlines go there but the flight's always cancelled. Dep. Control: (laughter) Welcome to Canada, Monsieur. "Annule" is French for "cancelled." Pilot: Ah. Oui, oui.
(NewsWire - May 12 2003)
We often have strong winds in Texas. But they usually pick a direction and stay put. This particular night while returning to home base at ADS, the ATIS said the winds were 150 at 15 (right down the runway). Since I was getting a real workout on the controls, I called for a wind check. Tower: "Variable, 120 to 180, 22 gusting to 32." Me: (With sarcasm) "Oh, that sounds like fun." Tower: "We've got the cameras rolling."
(NewsWire - Mar 3 2003)
A pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?" The nav replied timidly, "No, what's it for?" The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!" The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table. The pilot asked, "What's that for?" "To be honest sir," the nav replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."
(NewsWire - Aug 4 2003)
While flying through Colorado Springs Class C the other day, I heard the following exchange: United 1234: "Springs Approach, United 1234. We can’t read the localizer. Is there a problem?" Approach: "The box is actually sitting right behind me. They’re doing an upgrade and it should be back in service this Winter." United 1234: "We can’t hold that long."
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