Weekend funny

[Maverick]

A cowboy walks into a bar in Arizona, orders three mugs of Bud and sits
in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes
 them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
 
 The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes
 flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
 
 The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
 Australia, the other is in Dublin, and I'm in Arizona. When we all left home,
we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink
one for each of my brothers and one for myself."
 
 The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
 
 The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always
 drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
 
 One day, he comes in and orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice
 and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the
 bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to
 offer my condolences on your loss."
 
 The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he
 laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my
 wife and I joined the Baptist Church in Tucson and I had to quit
 drinking.
 
 . . . . . . Hasn't affected my brothers though."

[SaburoS]

LOL!

[JimBear]

Monday Morning Funny


A fighter pilot sat down at the "O" Club bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him and turned to the man in the flight suit and asked, "Are you a real fighter pilot?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life flying jets, deploying overseas, going to fighter and weapons schools, dodging SAMs, jinking through dog fights, wearing big watches, and strapping into F-8's, F-4's, F/A-18s, F-14s and performing Air Combat Maneuvers, shooting down airplanes, bombing the enemy, so, you bet,  I'm a fighter pilot and a damn good one."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women.  When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."  The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the pilot and asked, "Are you a real fighter pilot?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

[Frodo]

    Thanks for the laugh. Have to add one of my own.


The old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut, smoking the ceremonial pipe, eyeing the two US government officials sent to interview him.

 "Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man for many generations, you have seen his wars and his products, you have seen all his progress, and all his problems."

 The chief nodded. The official continued, "Considering recent events, in your opinion, where has the white man gone wrong?

 "The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute, and then calmly replied. "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes. No debt. Plenty buffalo, Plenty beaver. Women did most of the work.Medicine man free. Indian men hunted and fished all the time".

The chief smiled, and added quietly, "White man dumb.