how ta speak in ebonix all ye damn hood ratz..

[Furball]

just type in what ya wants ta be translated here, an' click da button. What great fun! sho 'nuff!  

http://www.joel.net/EBONICS/translator.asp


The Clinton apology speech,
translated into Ebonics...

 

Good evening. (What's up).

This afternoon in this room, from this chair, Itestified before the Office of Independent Counseland the grand jury. (Today at my crib these suckers
and playa-haters started grillin' me).

I answered their questions truthfully, includingquestions about my private life, questions no
American citizen would ever want to answer.
(They started frontin'about my game and asking
all kinds of foul ****).

Still, I must take complete responsibility for
all my actions, both public and private.
And that is why I am speaking to you tonight.
(I'm tired of these haters throwing salt in
my game.  I'm going to let y'all know my Mackin
style tonight).

As you know, in a deposition in January, I was
asked questions about my relationship with
Monica Lewinsky. While my answers were legally
accurate, I did not volunteer information.
(Awhile back, you nosy mother ****ers wanted
to know if I was hittin'ho-ass Monica's skins.
You did not have any video, so if you want to
believe a 10 ho, then oh well).

Indeed, I did have a relationship with Ms.Lewinsky that was not appropriate. In fact,
it was wrong. It constituted a critical lapse
in judgment and a personal failure on my part
for which I am solely and completely
responsible. (Yeah, I was hittin' that dime
dropping *****! She was only sucking my jimmiethough.  I was stupid for messing with a young
big-mouthed skank........, but don't hate me
because I'm a playa).

But I told the grand jury today and I say to
you now that at no time did i ask anyone to
lie, to hide or destroy evidence. (Outside
of that **** I told punk-ass AG (Al Gore)
to put on gay-ass Starr, Monica and hersnitching friend, I was chill the whole time).

I can only tell you I was motivated by many
factors. First, by a desire to protect myself
from the embarrassment of my own conduct.
(Man look,I heard she was down with what ever.
She wasn't all that but I plannedto pimp her
around to my boyz in the Senate).

The independent counsel investigation moved on
to my staff and friends, then into my private
life.  And now the investigation itself is
under investigation. (Those haters started
sweatin' my homeys and my peeps.  I got real
pissed when they tried to make me look like
I'm not real or something.  As a matter of
fact their shady tulips are on the take anyway).

This has gone on too long, cost too much and
hurt too many innocent people.  (Tryin' to hit
me they wasted a lot of Cheddar and pissed off
my Crew).

Nothing is more important to me personally.
But it is private, and I intend to reclaim my
family life for my family. It's nobody's
business but ours.  (I'm a pimp and playa and
I'm going to be one!  Get some business'.
Hillary is chill because I got more than
enough White Water dirt on her ass, that
will get her sent up before I'm outta here).

It is time to stop the pursuit of personal
destruction and the prying into private lifeandget on with our national  life. (Quit
harassing me because I'm going to Flossregardless. Just in case y'all forgot untilyou chumps ax me I'm still the ****!)

Now it is time - in fact, it is past time- to move on. (**** all y'all, I don'tgive a ****!)

[Furious]

Four score an' seven years ago our fathers brought forth on dis here continent uh new nation, conceived in liberty an' dedicated ta da proposition dat all men iz created equal. Now we's iz engaged in uh great civil war, tes'in whether dat nation or any nation so conceived an' so dedicated can long endure. We iz met on uh great battlefield o' dat war. We gots come ta dedicate uh portion o' dat field as uh final resting-place fo' those who here gave they lives dat that nation might live. It iz altogether fitting an' proper dat we's should do dis here. But in uh larger sense, we's cannot dedicate, we's cannot consecrate, we's cannot hallow dis here ground. The brave men, living an' dead who struggled here gots consecrated it far above our poor power ta add or detract. The world will little note nor long remember what we's say here, but it can never forget what dey did here. It iz fo' us da living rather ta be dedicated here ta da unfinished werk which dey who fought here gots thus far so nobly advanced. It iz rather fo' us ta be here dedicated ta da great task emaining 'bfoe us--that from deez honored dead we's take increased devotion ta dat cause fo' which dey gave da last full measure o' devotion--that we's here highly resolve dat deez dead shall not gots died in vain, dat dis here nation under God shall gots uh new birth o' freedom, an' dat da system o' da peeps, by da peeps, fo' da peeps shall not perish from da earth.
slap mah fro!

[capt. apathy]

at the risk of being tastless and offensive-

how do you ask someone for the time in ebonics?



"hand over da watch motherf***er"

[Capt. Pork]

Furball, that's a f-ed up avatar. Where can I get something like that?