Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Dingbat on November 02, 2003, 06:56:23 AM

Title: More Squawks
Post by: Dingbat on November 02, 2003, 06:56:23 AM
Hadn't seen these before...


Defect: The autopilot doesn't.
Action: IT DOES NOW.

Defect: Seat cushion in 13F smells rotten.
Action: Fresh seat cushion on order.

Defect: Turn & slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns.
Action: Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!

Defect: Whining sound heard on engine shutdown.
Action: Pilot removed from aircraft.

Defect: Pilot's clock inoperative.
Action: Wound clock.

Defect: Autopilot tends to drop a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500 pounds.
Action: Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300 pounds.

Defect: #2 ADF needle runs wild.
Action: Caught and tamed #2 ADF needle.

Defect: Unfamiliar noise coming from #2 engine.
Action: Engine run for four hours. Noise now familiar.

Defect: Noise coming from #2 engine. Sounds like man with little hammer.
Action: Took little hammer away from man in #2 engine.

Defect: Whining noise coming from #2 engine compartment.
Action: Returned little hammer to man in #2 engine.

Defect: Flight attendant cold at altitude.
Action: Ground checks OK.

Defect: 3 roaches in cabin.
Action: 1 roach killed, 1 wounded, 1 got away.

Defect: Weather radar went ape!
Action: Opened radar, let out ape, cleaned up mess!
Title: More Squawks
Post by: Maverick on November 02, 2003, 04:42:22 PM
Good ones!!! New to me as well.  


;) :aok :rofl
Title: More Squawks
Post by: RTR on November 02, 2003, 05:01:57 PM
Defect:     Engine Missing
Action:     Engine found and installed

Defect:    I.F.F. not working in O.F.F. mode
Action:    I.F.F. switch placed in O.N. mode and ground checked
               serviceable.

Defect:    Nut loose in cockpit
Action:    Pilot removed and restrained