Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Animal on December 03, 2003, 06:41:49 PM
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Do you think God is on the side of the conservatives or the liberals?
Americans or Iraquies?
Do you think God is on your side of the table?
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Help me jeebus!
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Ever seen that WWI drawing of a German and American soldier on either side of the lines both with a rosary in their hands? Caption: "Whose side is God on?"
-SW
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Originally posted by Gryffin
Help me jeebus!
So perfect with the avatar. :D
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Got the result of my HIV test last monday, god is defenitly on my side...
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Originally posted by Maniac
Got the result of my HIV test last monday, god is defenitly on my side...
I'm sure Jerry Falwell would agree.
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The next time I see one I'll ask.
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I'm sure Jerry Falwell would agree.
Whos that?
:confused:
EDIT : Djust looked him up... AND NOW I GOT WHAT YOU WERE SAYING AFTER 4 EDITS LOL!!!!
EDIT nr 5 : Or maybe i didnt get you after reading more of his views on this, to tired for subliminal messages anyway.
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A better question would be: whose side are you on?
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Jesus was definitely a Liberal.
Just check out the haircut and beard... proof positive!
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I don't know about God, but Jesus was liberal.
The Loaves and the Fishes (First Welfare)
Curing the Leppers (Affordable Healthcare)
And you know he was against capital punishment.
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Originally posted by Maniac
Whos that?
:confused:
EDIT : Djust looked him up... AND NOW I GOT WHAT YOU WERE SAYING AFTER 4 EDITS LOL!!!!
EDIT nr 5 : Or maybe i didnt get you after reading more of his views on this, to tired for subliminal messages anyway.
LOL...
If you're getting HIV tests, I don't think that Mr. Falwell would think that god is on your side.... that is, unless you happened to contract HIV while working at the neighborhood emergency room.
I was being sarcastic... :)
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Oh get real. If God existed he surely wouldn't let wars happen.
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Originally posted by davidpt40
Oh get real. If God existed he surely wouldn't let wars happen.
They're probably a helluva lot of fun to watch. :)
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He's left us to our own devices...with a few words of advice...such as "thou shalt not kill." Free will comes at a price...we must bear the consequences of our actions.
Peace on earth...good will toward men.
Shuckins
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Originally posted by Shuckins
Peace on earth...good will toward men.
Shuckins
Ya know... some of us work in the defense industry. Peace on earth wouldn't be conducive to making my house payments. :D
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God is on vacation, he'll be back in a few thousands years, as soon as Charlton insults Apes.:aok
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Originally posted by Animal
Do you think God is on the side of the conservatives or the liberals?
Americans or Iraquies?
Do you think God is on your side of the table?
All I know is that God hates "them".
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As long as we can all agree that God is white.
MiniD
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Originally posted by Mini D
As long as we can all agree that God is white.
MiniD
Whatever colour makes you feel comfortable. :rolleyes:
Although history has proven that Jesus was a hip black dude.:aok
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i dont think god's on anyones side that needlessly murders woman and children....allthough somone could just bring up the crusaids....
if there is a god he's got a sense of humor and is marveling at his creations...
dont think he's white or black but definatly not a woman.
although men do have to piss standing up while woman get to sit down....but then there's the whole child birth thing
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I thought stand pissing with ease was a huge advantage.
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Allah bless God
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Originally posted by davidpt40
Oh get real. If God existed he surely wouldn't let wars happen.
What a simple minded fellow:rolleyes:
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Which God?
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(http://www.ostfront.com/images_german/goodheerbuckl1.jpg)
Tronsky
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(http://www.cannabis.net/e-mail/ptj.jpg)
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Originally posted by Shuckins
He's left us to our own devices...with a few words of advice...such as "thou shalt not kill." Free will comes at a price...we must bear the consequences of our actions.
Peace on earth...good will toward men.
Shuckins
Good Grief! How can anyone follow the rules if they can not even remember them.
It is
Thou shalt not murder....
and
Let there be peace on earth amongst men of goodwill.
picky picky picky :D
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What a simple minded fellow
Which is more logical:
(1)A magical man in the sky who posesses unlimited power yet is unwilling to reveal himself. He sits idly by as wars are fought and people are killed in horrible ways, when he could stop all of this by simply showing himself.
(2)Following scientific laws and theories, the universe is created and so is the earth. After billions of years, one species on the planet earth gains an edge in intelligence and becomes the top predator. Despite his intelligence, this species (man) is still prone to violent and war-like behavior due to his evolutionary path.
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thanks david... it's all clear now.. by the way..... Milk, good or bad for me? how bout eggs? And... where is my ice age that time magazines scientists promised by the year 2000 back in the 60's?
lazs
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There's no doubt that God is on the side of Notre Dame football.
(http://graphics.fansonly.com/photos/schools/nd/galleries/footbl-)
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I am mixed up, there is so many of the God`s.
wich one is for real: Allah, God, Buddha, Odin, the old greek Gods ?
Well lots to chose between :D no wonder why we have wars not even the God`s agree whos right rofl :)
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I wonder if God has to watch out for Alla sneaking into heavan from paradise and blowing stuff up?
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Originally posted by Animal
Do you think God is on the side of the conservatives or the liberals?
Americans or Iraquies?
Do you think God is on your side of the table?
God loves all mankind....kinda simple really.:)
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He had better be on my side, I give him enough money.
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An oldie but I still love it, copied from theonion.com
NEW YORK—Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday.
"Look, I don't know, maybe I haven't made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again," said the Lord, His divine face betraying visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the fallen Twin Towers. "Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to kill their neighbor. Well, I don't. And to be honest, I'm really getting sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms that anybody ought to be able to understand."
Worshipped by Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike, God said His name has been invoked countless times over the centuries as a reason to kill in what He called "an unending cycle of violence."
"I don't care how holy somebody claims to be," God said. "If a person tells you it's My will that they kill someone, they're wrong. Got it? I don't care what religion you are, or who you think your enemy is, here it is one more time: No killing, in My name or anyone else's, ever again."
The press conference came as a surprise to humankind, as God rarely intervenes in earthly affairs. As a matter of longstanding policy, He has traditionally left the task of interpreting His message and divine will to clerics, rabbis, priests, imams, and Biblical scholars. Theologians and laymen alike have been given the task of pondering His ineffable mysteries, deciding for themselves what to do as a matter of faith. His decision to manifest on the material plane was motivated by the deep sense of shock, outrage, and sorrow He felt over the Sept. 11 violence carried out in His name, and over its dire potential ramifications around the globe.
"I tried to put it in the simplest possible terms for you people, so you'd get it straight, because I thought it was pretty important," said God, called Yahweh and Allah respectively in the Judaic and Muslim traditions. "I guess I figured I'd left no real room for confusion after putting it in a four-word sentence with one-syllable words, on the tablets I gave to Moses. How much more clear can I get?"
"But somehow, it all gets twisted around and, next thing you know, somebody's spouting off some nonsense about, 'God says I have to kill this guy, God wants me to kill that guy, it's God's will,'" God continued. "It's not God's will, all right? News flash: 'God's will' equals 'Don't murder people.'"
Worse yet, many of the worst violators claim that their actions are justified by passages in the Bible, Torah, and Qur'an.
"To be honest, there's some contradictory stuff in there, okay?" God said. "So I can see how it could be pretty misleading. I admit it—My bad. I did My best to inspire them, but a lot of imperfect human agents have misinterpreted My message over the millennia. Frankly, much of the material that got in there is dogmatic, doctrinal bull****. I turn My head for a second and, suddenly, all this stuff about homosexuality gets into Leviticus, and everybody thinks it's God's will to kill gays. It absolutely drives Me up the wall."
God praised the overwhelming majority of His Muslim followers as "wonderful, pious people," calling the perpetrators of the Sept. 11 attacks rare exceptions.
"This whole medieval concept of the jihad, or holy war, had all but vanished from the Muslim world in, like, the 10th century, and with good reason," God said. "There's no such thing as a holy war, only unholy ones. The vast majority of Muslims in this world reject the murderous actions of these radical extremists, just like the vast majority of Christians in America are pissed off over those two bigots on The 700 Club."
Continued God, "Read the book: 'Allah is kind, Allah is beautiful, Allah is merciful.' It goes on and on that way, page after page. But, no, some *******s have to come along and revive this stupid holy-war crap just to further their own hateful agenda. So now, everybody thinks Muslims are all murderous barbarians. Thanks, Taliban: 1,000 years of pan-Islamic cultural progress down the drain."
God stressed that His remarks were not directed exclusively at Islamic extremists, but rather at anyone whose ideological zealotry overrides his or her ability to comprehend the core message of all world religions.
"I don't care what faith you are, everybody's been making this same mistake since the dawn of time," God said. "The Muslims massacre the Hindus, the Hindus massacre the Muslims. The Buddhists, everybody massacres the Buddhists. The Jews, don't even get me started on the hardline, right-wing, Meir Kahane-loving Israeli nationalists, man. And the Christians? You people believe in a Messiah who says, 'Turn the other cheek,' but you've been killing everybody you can get your hands on since the Crusades."
Growing increasingly wrathful, God continued: "Can't you people see? What are you, morons? There are a ton of different religious traditions out there, and different cultures worship Me in different ways. But the basic message is always the same: Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Shintoism... every religious belief system under the sun, they all say you're supposed to love your neighbors, folks! It's not that hard a concept to grasp."
"Why would you think I'd want anything else? Humans don't need religion or God as an excuse to kill each other—you've been doing that without any help from Me since you were freaking apes!" God said. "The whole point of believing in God is to have a higher standard of behavior. How obvious can you get?"
"I'm talking to all of you, here!" continued God, His voice rising to a shout. "Do you hear Me? I don't want you to kill anybody. I'm against it, across the board. How many times do I have to say it? Don't kill each other anymore—ever! I'm ****ing serious!"
Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept.
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My God can beat up your God!
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Originally posted by LePaul
My God can beat up your God!
Let us Prey
-Sik
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Animal: Do you think God is on your side of the table?
God would certainly be on the christian soldiers' side and smite the bad guys and democrats if only he was correctly apprised of the situation. :)
miko
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thanks david... it's all clear now.. by the way..... Milk, good or bad for me? how bout eggs? And... where is my ice age that time magazines scientists promised by the year 2000 back in the 60's?
Skim milk=Good
Whole milk= Bad
Eggs= Bad
Ice age= its comming, but not for several thousand years.
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How about this theory:
God is a creation of man, originally conceived to explain away all those mysterious things that ancient civilizations couldn't logically explain (i.e., a solar eclipse occurs, it means the "Gods" are angry).
A related point is that God was conceived by man as a means of controlling power (i.e., God spoke to me/I am the high priest, if you don't listen to me God will punish you, do this/don't do this or you will go to hell, etc.).
As civilizations evolve and obtain knowledge (such as science), all those mysterious events are suddenly explainable without reference to a higher power. In addition, technology allows more civilized societies to easily communicate their explanations to less civilized societies.
So....Man created God, and as man evolves he can destroy God.
Where it gets really interesting is:
What if God gave to man the ability for him to evolve and to develop science, technology, etc., but limited those abilities such that they only become available over time. In that case, man make think that he created God, but in fact God has only made man think that he created God.
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Skim milk=Good BS
Whole milk= Bad BS
Pasteurised and/or homogenised milk is bad but better than no milk or low-fat milk.
Eggs= Bad BS
Ice age= its comming, but not for several thousand years.
May happen in Europe as soon as in a few or a few dozen years as a result of impending gulfstream disription.
It would basically make the Europe's climate similar to the one in Canada.
miko