Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Monty405 on December 31, 2003, 10:03:44 PM
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http://www.spies.com/~scott/misc/toilet.htm
im still chuckling over it
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LOL
"Mein Gott, zwei kilogram!" exclaims Günter, joyful and relieved.
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It's so they can inspect their own excremant. Talk about anal, lol!
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Today's exercise- making something out of nothing:
In Europe toilets feature wash-down bowls, not siphon bowls. The differences between the traditional German toilet bowl (where excrement is displayed), the French bowl (where the excrement disappears in the hole as soon as possible), and the American one (where the excrement floats in water) cannot be accounted for in terms of pure functionality. Each type of the toilet bowl may present an ideological stance of some sort.
Germans have a tendency to elevate mere necessity into something more sublime, to invest a simple action with a higher, loftier meaning. The tendency to put theory over fact and the ideal over the real tends to make for good artists and philosophers (Germany has more than any other country), but deflects attention from day-to-day affairs, promoting disorder in politics and society.
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ROTFL
:rofl
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I have discussed this with Germans. They like the "platform" type toilet because they can crap without splashing their arses. Bad news for those who wipe from the sitting position. A friend of mine did that, and put his hand in it.
The only thing worse than those German toilets (also found in Austria) is the French pissoir. If you flush those with your trousers down, the water flush is likely to soak them.
In Amsterdam, there are round urination cubicles in the streets. But there's no flush and not even a drain. It's literally a concealed urination directly onto the street.
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Originally posted by beet1e
They like the "platform" type toilet because they can crap without splashing their arses.
What a sorry excuse... A couple of pieces of paper will do the same.:)
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Originally posted by mora
What a sorry excuse... A couple of pieces of paper will do the same.:)
hehe - in Finland there's no worry about an arse splash - the water is frozen over! :lol
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this thread is like watching a train wreck, I'm not sure why I'm looking but I seem to have trouble looking away.
but the subject of 'splash back' reminded me of some graphitti I saw in a portable at work a few years ago. and this thread is just weird enough to post it.
OSHA warning!- Toxic splash hazzard, all turds over 6 oz must be hand-lowered.
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At our summercottage there is no indoor toilet, just an unheated shack some 50 meters from the house. During the summer it's full of mosquitoes and during the winter your **** will almost freeze before it hit's the ground. I really don't know which one is worse...obviously there's no time to read newspaper during any season.
OMG t*rd is censored!:rolleyes:
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No one ever took into account the "Napalm Enema" effect - its simply easier to just watch it disappear then to admire how much your bellybutton just anhilated that village of bacteria festering on the bowl's surface.
Wolfala
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OMG ! :eek: :eek: :rofl :rofl
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You lot should think yourselves lucky, the first appartment I had when I moved to Holland had a German toilet...............I used to wait until I got to work.
People always wondered why I arrived very early on Mondays and didn't stop to chat.
(http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2002-9/48257/20029211530-0-Swoop.gif)
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I see none of you have been to Korea :)
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An old german proverb:
Eigener Dreck stinkt nicht
It's not about the visual effect or even the unlikely event of splashback. Floating it in water spoils the bouquet. Putting it on a platform gives it a moment in the sun, where the one who released it can fully appreciate the fruits, spices and barnyard flavors.
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The guy is an idiot. If it took "eight or ten" flushes "to remove every last scrape" from "a bone-dry horizontal shelf", why the heck couldn't he flush once beforehand[/b] to prevent stuff from sticking?
miko
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When using a German toilet always put a few sheets of toilet paper on the flat pan..................
unless you have non stick crap that is.....................
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And when using an american toilet, always put a few sheets of toilet paper in the water to prevent splashing.
miko
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Originally posted by RedDg
I see none of you have been to Korea :)
Spent a year there. Only thing that took a bit of gettin' used to was sharing the public John with the Janes. ;)
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I thought the Germans were smart, and now I hear about this retarded crapper design.
Why not deploy the crapper shelf under the water and then have it rise up about 3 feet out of the bowl when you flush so you can get a good look at it before it goes back down under water and flushes away?
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Originally posted by miko2d
And when using an american toilet, always put a few sheets of toilet paper in the water to prevent splashing.
miko
A few is not enough for american toilets. The capacity of the bowl is so great that at least half a roll is reguired to completely remove the danger of a splashback.:)
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I've always found a little splash to be satisfying. :D
This thread has really taken the plunge down the crapper.
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I've not experienced German toilets, but I found those throughout other parts of Europe to be powerful super flushers, that put American toilets to shame. Almost turbocharged Type R.
The little hand showers... well, different story there.
Charon
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I haven't seen these toilets in Germany though I have seen them in some parts of the Netherlands.
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:confused:
I'll postpone my trip to germany..
I dunno though....
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Maybe you have too much spare time? And what dark obsession makes you to surf that places?
But i will enlighten you. As far as i can.
Fact is, we have both toilet models in use here in germany. In my flat, we have both models. Of course, in different toiletrooms.
Another fact is: the author of that report is realy stupid. He cleaned the shell manually with toilet paper.
Each toilet in germany, no matter what shape, has a special toilet brush to clean the toilet after use. Maybe the author didnt notice that. Or even worse, he used the brush to wipe his bellybutton and used the paper to clean the shell.
In that report, i never read something about any brush.
I guess the author is canadian. So it might be that canadians never use any brush to clean their toilets after heavy use? Brrrr!!
I hope i never will be forced to make my 'duty' in an canadian high tech toilet.
I found a site where you can see how to use a toilet brush and how NOT to use it. Sorrily its in german, but watch the pix carefully and you understand. ;)
Look here you brushless dolts (http://www.knoedelschorsch.de/index.html?feste/klobuerste.htm)
Ecke
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Originally posted by VAQ
Today's exercise- making something out of nothing:
In Europe toilets feature wash-down bowls, not siphon bowls. The differences between the traditional German toilet bowl (where excrement is displayed), the French bowl (where the excrement disappears in the hole as soon as possible), and the American one (where the excrement floats in water) cannot be accounted for in terms of pure functionality. Each type of the toilet bowl may present an ideological stance of some sort.
Germans have a tendency to elevate mere necessity into something more sublime, to invest a simple action with a higher, loftier meaning. The tendency to put theory over fact and the ideal over the real tends to make for good artists and philosophers (Germany has more than any other country), but deflects attention from day-to-day affairs, promoting disorder in politics and society.
Heyas Vaq....
Wanna attend the next KC AH BBQ experience? Didn't know you lived here:)
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Christ you guys really suck, when you run outta ideas you
turn to what kinda toilets we use lol :D
What about trying to get a real life, some here for sure dont have one, this is their life. And i feel sorry for those poor guys.
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it was funny guardy :D
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Originally posted by NUKE
Why not deploy the crapper shelf under the water and then have it rise up about 3 feet out of the bowl when you flush so you can get a good look at it before it goes back down under water and flushes away?
OMG, busted a nut laughing! :rofl :rofl :rofl
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Ouch, looks like some sore toes. Some here seem rather anal about their toilets. ;)
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Each toilet in germany, no matter what shape, has a special toilet brush to clean the toilet after use.
wha??? clean the toilet after each use ?!?
now you know why we have WATER in ours ! lol
oh.. and the little blue things
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He was insulting you by pointing out that stupid Canadians have no idea what the brush is for unlike smart Germans who live there and still have to have comics in German telling them what the brush is for.
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snicker
uh.. ok.
but don't you think it better NOT to have to friggin' clean it each time? lmao
instructions shouldn't have to be part of taking a crap
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The reason Germany has such toliets dates back to after the war.
Food was scarce so none could be wasted. One day after the corn harvest an inventor had a small serving of corn. The next day he had a poo and just before he flushed it he noticed.........
ah never mind. Some history needs to stay buried.
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I find the way around splashback is too let a bit of pressure build up first. That way when you crap the **** flies out with a bit of velocity at maintains the right angle to enter the water and create minimum splash, kind of like the difference between an Olympic diver and the fat kid doing a belly flop.
As for floating, mine always sink to the bottom quicker than the titanic. I find food like fruit and veges causes excessive floatiness. So stick to things like meat, fast foods, beer etc, this will cause your turds to stay down and not float (the beer also helps build up pressure too). This mixture of food also provides a nice odour, kind of marking your terrority. Everybody knows, he who stinkest the mostest, ownest the toilet.
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Skuzzy, flush this thread, please! ;)
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now you know why we have WATER in ours ! lol
oh.. and the little blue things
You need the water after licking the blue candy? ;)
Ecke
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@Habu
He was insulting you by pointing out that stupid Canadians have no idea what the brush is for unlike smart Germans who live there and still have to have comics in German telling them what the brush is for.
Insulting! insulting!.....mate!..dont bore me to death!
Ecke
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A little OT: AKIron,..after all the harping I have done about keeping threads on topic, it is kind of nice (in a very peculiar way) to see one actually stay on topic.
Back to it folks. Sorry for the interruption.
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no mention of Kurt Tank anywhere....
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He probably invented that retarded design... lord knows he did such a great job with the planes.
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:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
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Its certainly not fair to laugh only about german toilets. :)
You need to watch this topic from an higher point of view.
May i offer this to you for your delight?
click (http://www.anth.ucsb.edu/faculty/bray/toilet/amodern1.html)
And this:
click (http://www.tysknews.com/Depts/Regulation/canadian_toilets.htm)
And this:click (http://www.city.kamloops.bc.ca/water/conservation/toilets.html)
And this:
click (http://www.greeblie.com/arch/001217.html)
This:
click (http://www.nyc-guide.de/themen/toilette.html)
There is much more to find. But i stopped here because i dont want to become a toilet-scientist.
And before someone starts again accusing me to insult someone else....flush yourself...and for heavens sake.. use the brush!
Ecke
(http://www.anth.ucsb.edu/faculty/bray/toilet/his_hers_toilets2.jpg)