Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: _Schadenfreude_ on January 01, 2004, 07:09:06 AM
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Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners
How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and
Southerners?
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the
knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him
that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and
weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage
such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few
days and try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...
(sounds of reloading).
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving. What do you kids
think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
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Only 9 BANGs before realoading?
A .40 Glock can hold 16 rounds, sounds like leftist trickery to me....
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probly those dang 10 rd magazines. and him savin one for the wife if the heathens ( god forbid ) win the day.
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Originally posted by GRUNHERZ
Only 9 BANGs before realoading?
A .40 Glock can hold 16 rounds, sounds like leftist trickery to me....
Not post-'94.. 10's the limit. And the concervative was wrong... there would have been more than one shot fired... most likely 3. In a nice neat group.
MiniD
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I think he got it all wrong, the liberal's the one with the knife.
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ROLF :rofl VERY FUNNY
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Liberals don't carry guns. We don't believe in em, and if there weren't any guns there wouldn't be any street crime.
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actually a lot of librals carry guns too. however they have no faith in the legal system(as most don't have enough cash to buy a fair trial), so you never hear when a libral shoots someone. they just take the guys wallet so it looks like a robbery, roll them up in a crapet, drop them in a dumpster, go smoke a bowl, and never talk about it again .
:)
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Originally posted by Mini D
Not post-'94.. 10's the limit. And the concervative was wrong... there would have been more than one shot fired... most likely 3. In a nice neat group.
MiniD
I know. But would a southener really just use the aneimic 10 round magazine when there are so many nice 15 round ones floating around... Sheesh minid.. :)
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odd...im pinned as a "liberal" and id shoot the ****...but not to kill...
and why would a southerner only be carrying a .40 (oh right the despised gun controls...without em he'd be carrying a m16)
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Originally posted by vorticon
odd...im pinned as a "liberal" and id shoot the ****...but not to kill...
and why would a southerner only be carrying a .40 (oh right the despised gun controls...without em he'd be carrying a m16)
lol, not to kill, lol!
Why not shoot to kill? Maybe you could aim for his big toe. The guy may be a nice guy that just wants to show you his new knife.
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Hell... I AM a liberal and I think some gun control is a good thing.
Still... if you've got a handgun at home and you have an intruder, I think it best to unload the gun into them.
Wound... LOL... the hand gun is a killing tool, not a wounding tool.
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odd...im pinned as a "liberal" and id shoot the ****...but not to kill...
if you're not prepared to kill you shouldn't even own a gun for protection.
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im a liberal and believe uncontroled firearms are central to our freedom. sad fact is if they regulate them they will eventualy prohibit them. and that just wont go.
i carry one as little as possible and dont like killin people. but i like killin dogs less. go figgure.
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Originally posted by Airhead
Liberals don't carry guns. We don't believe in em, and if there weren't any guns there wouldn't be any street crime.
Absolutely right. Just when I lost total faith in a Liberal's reasoning ability Airhead saves the day (no pun).
Crime would come to a stretching halt if we told criminals that they'd be... worse criminals if they had illegal firearms... which they already have.
That'll show em.
Vote Democrat in 2004! One step forward, two steps back!
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Originally posted by Airhead
Liberals don't carry guns. We don't believe in em, and if there weren't any guns there wouldn't be any street crime.
:rofl :rofl :rofl
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Originally posted by vorticon
odd...im pinned as a "liberal" and id shoot the ****...but not to kill...
The correct way to shoot someone is to shoot at the center of mass. There is no time to decide weather you want to mortally wound them or not. As for the number of shots the double tap method is widely accepted by military and law enforcement.
I am licenced in MI to carry a firearm. The law in MI reads that you are allowed to use deadly force to stop the person. If they die as a result so be it. So you should not be shooting to kill or not to kill, you are shooting to stop the threat.
I carry the correct conservative firearm. A 1911 45 auto ;)
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I'm a Liberal and I carry a Tazer gun. I use it in real life threatening situations about four-five times a month, and if I had a handgun I'd kill four or five people a month.It's much better to leave someone who took my parking spot, checked out my wife's butt or looked at me funny at a red light convulsing for several minutes after getting 50,000 volts from my Tazer than it would be to kill them with a handgun. They will recover, and hopefuly will have been taught a valuable lesson about social etiquite.
That's the difference between liberals and conservatives- liberals are compassionate.
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Originally posted by Airhead
I'm a Liberal and I carry a Tazer gun. I use it in real life threatening situations about four-five times a month, and if I had a handgun I'd kill four or five people a month.It's much better to leave someone who took my parking spot, checked out my wife's butt or looked at me funny at a red light convulsing for several minutes after getting 50,000 volts from my Tazer than it would be to kill them with a handgun. They will recover, and hopefuly will have been taught a valuable lesson about social etiquite.
That's the difference between liberals and conservatives- liberals are compassionate.
Taking your parking spot, looking at your sheep's butt and looking at you funny are all grounds for death. Live and let die is my motto.
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You need to get the Tim Taylor upgrade for that Tazer. I think it goes to 350,000 volts and the darts are ~1500 fps expanding tips that turn into sharply barbed treble hooks after they bury 3 inches into the perps hide.
Another option is the "random jolt" button. Gives them a big shock right off and then randomly hits them 27 times in the next 90 seconds. They look like fresh tuna flopping on the deck of a Starkist boat.
It's kewl, and not that expensive.
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No way. Southerners are known to be better shots than Yankees ... no matter their political brainwashing. :D
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The conclusion of all this is that although the paperwork, registration and strict safety regulation can seem like a hassle it is preferable to a total ban
it's more likely just another step towards a total ban. it's very helpful when confinscating weapons to have a list of all owners.
I don't have a single piece of paperwork on any of my guns (other than the bill-of-sale from the previous owner) and won't buy new guns for that reason. used is the only way to go.
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Originally posted by Airhead
Liberals don't carry guns. We don't believe in em, and if there weren't any guns there wouldn't be any street crime.
LOL that is silly.
what then would stop someone from stabbing you?
Are you Bruce Lee?
Or a baseball bat to the head?
Oh waite you where wearing a helmet:rofl
Guns don't kill people! people do.
And If you have NO GUNS?
Then they will just find another way to kill you.
Call It law of the jungle my friend you have to be meaner and badder than the bad guy to survive nuff said.
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Originally posted by Airhead
I'm a Liberal and I carry a Tazer gun. I use it in real life threatening situations about four-five times a month, and if I had a handgun I'd kill four or five people a month.It's much better to leave someone who took my parking spot, checked out my wife's butt or looked at me funny at a red light convulsing for several minutes after getting 50,000 volts from my Tazer than it would be to kill them with a handgun. They will recover, and hopefuly will have been taught a valuable lesson about social etiquite.
That's the difference between liberals and conservatives- liberals are compassionate.
You use a tazer in the above situations?
oh please you would be spending all you'r adult life in court LOL.
Or the hospital having the Tazer surgicly removed from you'r ARSE.
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How doooooo you do it Airhead.... :)
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That ain't no catch, that thar one just up and jumped on the durn hook.
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gs.. I believe that firearms safety should be taught in schools. I envy your unrestricted use of full auto and silenced weapons and think that you are on the right track with safety course but...
concealed carry is vital. Concealed carry prevents crime of all types. We don't own guns merely to prevent gun crime... we own em to prevent all kinds of crime. I do not believe in registration of guns either. Concealed carry permit holders are much more law abiding than the average person especialy in the category of felonies.. most concealed carry violations consist of not having the permit in the holders possesion or carrying in a place where it is not allowed.
lazs
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Originally posted by Airhead
It's much better to leave someone who took my parking spot, checked out my wife's butt or looked at me funny at a red light convulsing for several minutes after getting 50,000 volts from my Tazer than it would be to kill them with a handgun. They will recover, and hopefuly will have been taught a valuable lesson about social etiquite.
Airhead, if you would have given me a chance to explain this would have never happened. I was simply demonstrating a new exfoliant that I'm now selling on street corners. It just so happens that it work real well on the buttocks. Thats all it was man really! The burn you gave me on my inner thighs with that damned tazer is as bad as the ones I used to get when I wore cordoroy.
Although I must say, that little incident has convinced me to change carreers.
Thanks bud.
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Originally posted by Toad
You need to get the Tim Taylor upgrade for that Tazer. I think it goes to 350,000 volts and the darts are ~1500 fps expanding tips that turn into sharply barbed treble hooks after they bury 3 inches into the perps hide.
Another option is the "random jolt" button. Gives them a big shock right off and then randomly hits them 27 times in the next 90 seconds. They look like fresh tuna flopping on the deck of a Starkist boat.
It's kewl, and not that expensive.
Is that the model that comes with it's own military style diesel generator?
My dad has one of those!
He uses it for hunting during liberal season.
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Originally posted by _Schadenfreude_
Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners
A real southern would have said "Look son, there's a liberal over yonder, here's my gun peg him between the eyes just like you did the other day... and then we're gonna have Liberals, Liberals, Liberals, on our table, table, table... we'll celebrate at the windixie! yeehaw!!"
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You need to get the Tim Taylor upgrade for that Tazer.
is that the one Garth had in 'Waynes World'?
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Originally posted by GScholz
t I would not like to live in a society where people can buy weapons without any control and use guns without knowing how to do so safely.
Cod bless the 2nd!
:D
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No, The Tim Taylor Taser isn't diesel powered but it is somewhat more bulky than the regular sissy civilian model. It looks a little strange rolling along behind you on that pull along golf club cart they sell, but you get used to it. An added plus is that any perp that sees a golf cart mounted Taser is usually on his best behavior until you get out of dart range. Of course, with the TTT, dart range suprises most perps.
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Originally posted by lazs2
Concealed carry prevents crime of all types. We don't own guns merely to prevent gun crime... we own em to prevent all kinds of crime.
lazs
If you really want to prevent yourself from street crime then get a big dog. If I'm walking a dog and you have a concealed weapon you'll get attacked before I do. Of course given your history of being attacked by dogs I can understand your reluctance to own one.
Beav, were you the guy with the grocery cart or the guy with the cardboard sign? Those are the only two people I've tazered in the testicles...like Nomak says, aim for the most mass of your target. Sorry bud.
BTW, my wife carries pepper spray and it kept her from getting raped one time. It burned like hell and blurred my vision for several hours, but caused no long term damage to my eyesight.
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Originally posted by Airhead
BTW, my wife carries pepper spray and it kept her from getting raped one time. It burned like hell and blurred my vision for several hours, but caused no long term damage to my eyesight.
LOL, I'll send her some mace. ;)
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Originally posted by Toad
You need to get the Tim Taylor upgrade for that Tazer. I think it goes to 350,000 volts and the darts are ~1500 fps expanding tips that turn into sharply barbed treble hooks after they bury 3 inches into the perps hide.
Toad, I could never forgive myself if I caused a permanent scar on a Perp from using my Tazer on him. Conservatives might not care, but as a Liberal all I want to do is make the bad man stop.
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I figure why pass up the chance to make him stop AND teach him a valuable lesson?
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It's OK, Air. The State will send him to Rio for three weeks or R&R and a little cosmetic surgery from the best in the business. The treble hook scars are easy to cover and as a bonus the taxpayers can cover a facelift, tummy tuck and a few laser tattoo removals to ease his pain and suffering.
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A true liberal would give him a compassionate double tap to the head. Less suffering.
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Originally posted by midnight Target
A true liberal would give him a compassionate double tap to the head. Less suffering.
Yeah... but it's easier to go to court and testify that you were under duress if you just unload the clip in 'em. :D
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Originally posted by Toad
It's OK, Air. The State will send him to Rio for three weeks or R&R and a little cosmetic surgery from the best in the business. The treble hook scars are easy to cover and as a bonus the taxpayers can cover a facelift, tummy tuck and a few laser tattoo removals to ease his pain and suffering.
Man I wish you'd run for President. I'd vote for you.
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Originally posted by capt. apathy
if you're not prepared to kill you shouldn't even own a gun for protection.
maybe it could just be a "little" traumatic for my kids to watch there dad kill someone...if your going to let kids watch people getting killed you may as well get rid of all the other laws designed to protect kids
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Originally posted by vorticon
if your going to let kids watch people getting killed you may as well get rid of all the other laws designed to protect kids
Say, what movies do you take your kids to and do they watch TV at your house?
;)
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Originally posted by vorticon
maybe it could just be a "little" traumatic for my kids to watch there dad kill someone...if your going to let kids watch people getting killed you may as well get rid of all the other laws designed to protect kids
moron or uninformed, you decide. Maybe it would be better to let your kids die than to let them view the death of their would be killer.
I say moron
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ya, watching you kill someone might be traumatic, for the kid. so would watching his dad stand there like an impotent ***** while there property is stolen, their lives threatened, maybe the wife assulted.
I really don't understand the idea that you should be dependant on others for your personal protection. all moral issues aside it's just damned inefficent. cops wont always be there when you are being victimized, but you're there, doesn't it make more sense to have the protection at the scene of the crime as it's taking place, instead of strapped to the guy who shows up to take the report later. (this is not meant as a slam on cops, just that in most cases the victim has no way to call them until the danger has passed)
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airhead.... you didn't have a dog with you when you were at my house.
I have never understood liberals... for all the proclaimed love of humanity... we have one who would rather shoot a human than a dog.... the rest have no compunction about shooting people but continualy vote for people who would disarm them.
How do you liberals justify voting for anti gun politicians and still believe in personal freedom to protect yourself with firearms? Is it that "other issues" are much more important? Do you basicaly hold your nose and vote in order to get the someone elected that is more in touch with your other issues?
lazs
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How do you liberals justify voting for anti gun politicians and still believe in personal freedom to protect yourself with firearms? Is it that "other issues" are much more important? Do you basicaly hold your nose and vote in order to get the someone elected that is more in touch with your other issues?
other issues are more important (frankly, I'll still own guns even if they are outlawed)
but things like a safe work place. maybe not a big issue for office workers but a huge issue in my life.
a decent living wage. what good is the right to own guns if you can't afford them?
quite a few other issues but there are a couple you can start with.
and as far as republicans being for gun rights, exactly what improvements can we thank the republicans for (in the area of gun-owners rights)?
how's the return on your investment? they loosen up any regulation for you, larger mag capacities, shorter waiting periods?
no?
did they just take your money and say "thanks for the contribution and the vote, see ya again in 4 years when my hands back out."
come on, wake up, rich republicans have no more interest in seeing the average man armed than rich democrats do. they just give the issue lip service to buy your vote.
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Originally posted by lazs2
airhead.... you didn't have a dog with you when you were at my house.
lazs
Good thing I left her at home Lazs or you might have shot her.
I have a ten year old Queensland Heeler, (ask LePaul) she sleeps next to my bed and alerts me to the presence of anyone outside. The only humans she hates are mail carriers, which she attacks whenever she can in spite of being pepper sprayed and the Post Office threatening to discontinue my mail delivery.
She also hates homeless people. I'm trying to teach her to hate the French, but she doesn't connect the French flag I tease her with with French-speaking people.
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Try showing her movies of Postal Carriers speaking French.
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Originally posted by Toad
"random jolt" button.
"Clueless Dolt" Button...
There I fixed it for you! :lol
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Originally posted by Toad
Try showing her movies of Postal Carriers speaking French.
LMAO That might work. Thanks for the suggestion. :D
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Originally posted by Toad
No, The Tim Taylor Taser isn't diesel powered but it is somewhat more bulky than the regular sissy civilian model. It looks a little strange rolling along behind you on that pull along golf club cart they sell, but you get used to it. An added plus is that any perp that sees a golf cart mounted Taser is usually on his best behavior until you get out of dart range. Of course, with the TTT, dart range suprises most perps.
The super delux TTT model is a rider.... like a riding lawnmower.
A riding Taser! With a fuel injection, V8... Argh! Argh! Argh!
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moron or uninformed, you decide. Maybe it would be better to let your kids die than to let them view the death of their would be killer.
how often does someone who isnt specifically out to kill you your kids or your wife keep coming after being shot???
Say, what movies do you take your kids to and do they watch TV at your house?
movies for kids under 13 usually dont contain much violence...and if a couple lamo 15 year olds will go shoot someone after playing vice city what do you think there going to do if they see there daddy kill someone...especcially if they realise they danger they were in???
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airhead... if dogs weren't suich a pain and I had more of a stay at home lifestyle I would own one.. A little one that was noisy... All I need is for him to wake me up. I can take it from there. Dogs are a big responsibility... I had one for a dozen years.. MOST owners shouldn't even have a dog IMO.
captn apathy. I understand that you feel that only the liberals will give you a decent wage... I disagree but if you think so then you should vote that way but... having guns when they are oulawed makes them pretty useless for 90% of the things I use em for and... makes you worse off than your attacker if you use em ... look at england for instance..
now... I don't know where you work but I can't imagine any place that I wouldn't feel safer at knowing that 10% of the people around me had concealed carry permits and were armed.
as to the republicans... they are scum politicians like the democrats but.... they support the NRA... if the NRA had no support they would be at the mercy of the diane finesteins of the world... The repuplicans constantly block legeslation that democrats introduce to take away your rights. The things the NRA do for us (with republican help) are too numerpous to mention... simply read any NRA publication as to the progress of legeslation and whi introduces what bill.
If you must vote democrat tho... at least do me the favor of writing them and telling them what you are telling me... that you agree with most of what they do but are against more anti gun laws. I doubt it will change their vote tho because their contributors are very anti gun/anti self defense.
lazs
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and airhead... I would never shoot your doggy.... not unless it gave me one of those "looks".
lazs
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Lazs2, I think that we probably agree on most issues(except who is likely to do the most good for us).
as far as work safety, that wasn't a gun issue, just that republicans (from the legislation they try and pass) don't seem to be conscerned if a father makes it home to raise his kid. guns are a non-issue at work, if I wanted someone dead I could do it just as fast and efficient with my tools (and not have to go to court after 'the accident').
but-
The repuplicans constantly block legeslation that democrats introduce to take away your rights.
I may be mistaken but didn't reagen sign the Brady Bill? can't remember who introduced it, but I think there was a couple of republicans signed on as sponsors.
the republicans 'suport' the nra, just like they 'suport' Christians. they don't particularly care about the issue but they are aligned with the groups. I can't see suporting a polotician who screws me over on ever other issue because he says he agrees with me on gun rights and abortion, but then does nothing on these issues.
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gs.. no.. I would not feel too endangered in your country but... is is a lot different than ours... you don't share the borders we have or the political system.. I like our syustem but it does create a lot of envy and greed. I will take the good with the bad. of our homicides... I can get the risk down to about what you risk simply by avoiding certain areas in our country or.. even certain areas in towns and cities. Still I like our wealth and system and find the homicide rate acceptable tradeoff. even at 55 per million... lightning causes me more aprehension most times. I would not be comfortable not being able to shoot a burglar or armed robber or rapist.
apathy... not all of us have jobs with tools that we can use to defend ouselves... many people are old or infirm... many are women.. that is why concealled carry is so important. as are strict gun laws against crime with guns... take the guns from the criminals not the citizens.
some republicans are anti gun... the NRA reviews and interviews all politicians running for office several times a year as to their stance on gun control... they rate from A to F grades. There are VERY few times that you will be better off voting for a democrat than a republican so far as gun rights are concerned. even then... peer pressure acts against the few courageous democrats when the **** hits the fan.
I would encourage you to join the NRA (as I would anyone) and I would hope that you would write your democratic politicians that you vote for and tell them what you are telling me. If you simply vote for them and are silent then they will assume that they are on the right track with gun control. If they come out with a strong pro 2nd stance I would vote for them over a wishy washy republican.
lazs
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I would encourage you to join the NRA (as I would anyone) and I would hope that you would write your democratic politicians that you vote for and tell them what you are telling me. If you simply vote for them and are silent then they will assume that they are on the right track with gun control. If they come out with a strong pro 2nd stance I would vote for them over a wishy washy republican.
lazs
I do occasionally write them (though not near as much as I should). as far as giving money to the nra, I used to be a member and they seemed to always be throwing my money at the candidate I wanted to lose. I find it much more productive to keep my membership fee and just send that much less to the democrats. it all balances back out and I get to keep more cash.
over all what I'd like to see is a 'working mans party'.
for the every day american working man.
most of the people I know agree more with the democrats on economic polocy, are against gay marriage, pro-life, pro gun, for stronger environmental and workplace safety regulation, for getting the gov't out of medical decisions (let your dr proscribe what he thinks is best for you, and let you by your RX's in whatever country gives you a good price.)
when the dems are in I get more work, have more pay increases, safer workplace, but then you get all the touchy feely hippy crap in the schools, all the crap about self-esteam and 'how that makes people feel'. when I was a kid, if you where stupid they made sure you knew it. that way you didn't get your hopes up to high.
the republicans talk about family values and being pro-life, but then again abortion rates are higher when they are in office, and parents are so bussy trying to make ends meet they never see the kids long enough to even think of family values
how about a party where they suport sending your kids to school for an education and not political indocternation or some sort of social project, a party that looks out for americans before people from other countrys, one that expects people, that are able, to make their own way while suporting an economy and trade polocys that make this possible.
basicly take the good things that the republicans say they stand for (the ones they rarely do anything about), and mix that with what the democrats used to be before the present group took over. the dems used to reperesent the working man, but while we where all busy at work the welfare moms, fruits and nuts took over.
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apathy... i vote for 2nd rights and for school vouchers.. without those nothing else matters.. i want less taxes and less government. i can't vote for dems at all with this in mind.. i hold my nose and vote republican. i do write them and tell them what i don't like tho.
lazs
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yep, we would get along well.
if you ever get up this way I can show you a great spot up on the mountain to do some target shooting.
I've been thinking about loading the kids up in the jeep and going up to the mountain, building a bunch of snowmen, and then gunning them down. :D
maybe film it and make a "senseless gun-violence video"
I gotta do something new for targets, AOL stoped sending me cd's.
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apathy... I'm sure we would get along... I get along with everyone... well.... not mini di but he is short and blames me.
GS... I have to disagree about borders being meaningless in the age of planes and trains... we have a 4th world country at out border. the border is porous and we have no passport system... they don't use planes they walk over.... we have millions of unskilled, poverty stricken, criminal illegal aliens living in our country.
I have never been to your country but I guarentee that you don't have the ghettos that we do.
lazs
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Originally posted by lazs2
we have a 4th world country at out border.
lazs
Well at least we also have mexico to the south...
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Originally posted by lazs2
we have a 4th world country at out border. the border is porous and we have no passport system... they don't use planes they walk over.... we have millions of unskilled, poverty stricken, criminal illegal aliens living in our country.
I think that's the problem of our Border States- Washington, Idaho, Montana, Michigan, etc.- but a cheap solution would be to build a huge wall out of blocks of ice to fence the Sealeaters out.