Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Gman on January 26, 2004, 06:24:11 PM

Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Gman on January 26, 2004, 06:24:11 PM
http://www.nomarriage.com/
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: JB73 on January 26, 2004, 06:43:23 PM
LMAO great site (never married but still pised at women from last GF) all that stuff is true.

2 best buddies are married. if i show them this site I'll bet they'll sign an afidavit swearing its all true.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Saurdaukar on January 26, 2004, 06:54:25 PM
Greatest.

Site.

Ever.

Call this into Howard tomorrow - youll be on the air for half an hour.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Gunslinger on January 26, 2004, 07:27:57 PM
OMG MARRIED 3 YEARS BEST SITE EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: mrblack on January 26, 2004, 08:06:21 PM
Everything he says Is TRUE!!

trust me fellas stay a free agent i was for 12 years and I miss it.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Saurdaukar on January 26, 2004, 08:07:13 PM
Just told my broad that the Aces High board says I shouldnt marry her.

She wasnt pleased with you all.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: hawker238 on January 26, 2004, 08:59:01 PM
Mr Black now feels disdain for his wife?
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: midnight Target on January 26, 2004, 09:02:53 PM
Quote
Originally posted by mrblack
Everything he says Is TRUE!!

trust me fellas stay a free agent i was for 12 years and I miss it.


You keep on sticking up for your wife there MrBlack. I'm sure she appreciates it.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: eskimo2 on January 26, 2004, 10:04:15 PM
I’m sorry to hear that marriage is such a disappointment for so many men.  The truth is that marriage can be the best thing in the world for so many.  I’ve been married for 8 years now and my wife and I have two great kids.  My wife is my best friend, we talk for hours everyday.  She is still thin and beautiful.  Sex is great and daily.  I’m sure that a lot of what is written in this site is true for many, but it doesn’t have to be that way.  I’d write more, but my wife just called me to bed, and there’s no place I’d rather be.

eskimo
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Saurdaukar on January 26, 2004, 10:24:06 PM
Is she Russian?
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Capt. Pork on January 26, 2004, 11:28:20 PM
I was getting set to ask my Girlfriend to marry me any day now. I wanted the wedding sometime this summer, maybe in the fall. I was a happy, pretty much cheerful guy in his mid-twenties.

An hour and a half ago I went to the website.

Since then I've talked to most of my old buddies on the phone, and gotten thoroughly drunk by myself off of cheap beer I bought last night in the midst of a nasty winter storm.

I'm afraid for my life, and my finances.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Gunslinger on January 27, 2004, 12:41:44 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Capt. Pork
I was getting set to ask my Girlfriend to marry me any day now. I wanted the wedding sometime this summer, maybe in the fall. I was a happy, pretty much cheerful guy in his mid-twenties.

An hour and a half ago I went to the website.

Since then I've talked to most of my old buddies on the phone, and gotten thoroughly drunk by myself off of cheap beer I bought last night in the midst of a nasty winter storm.

I'm afraid for my life, and my finances.


Capt just dont jump into anything...again the statistic is 60% divorce rate.  Me and my wife have been married for 3 years and have two children.....in some ways i'm "trapped" in others i'm more grown up.  We had a real rough time over the last two months and she almost left with the kids several times.  We are doin alot better again and I hope it stays this way.  Although this site is a good example of the bad things that happen it represents none of the good. Just MHO
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ping on January 27, 2004, 01:12:38 AM
How many divorced men does it take to change the light bulb?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
None,            They dont get the house. :D
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Pongo on January 27, 2004, 01:56:17 AM
Quote
Originally posted by eskimo2
I’m sorry to hear that marriage is such a disappointment for so many men.  The truth is that marriage can be the best thing in the world for so many.  I’ve been married for 8 years now and my wife and I have two great kids.  My wife is my best friend, we talk for hours everyday.  She is still thin and beautiful.  Sex is great and daily.  I’m sure that a lot of what is written in this site is true for many, but it doesn’t have to be that way.  I’d write more, but my wife just called me to bed, and there’s no place I’d rather be.

eskimo


Id like to be there too..
lol
you never know till its over Esk. Good luck and I hope you never know what that sites about. But the scarry part is there is nothing you can do about it. Like the site says its all up to her.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: eskimo2 on January 27, 2004, 08:48:04 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Pongo
Id like to be there too..
lol
you never know till its over Esk. Good luck and I hope you never know what that sites about. But the scarry part is there is nothing you can do about it. Like the site says its all up to her.


It is equally dependent on the wife and husband to make a marriage work.  A good marriage requires a lot of effort, honest communication, compromises and even sacrifices.  In some situations the wife is the one making the marriage impossible, but just as often it is the husband.  IMO, most marriages that fail, fail because both members fail to put forth enough effort.  Many, if not most, men and women are probably not capable of being a good marriage partner.  Most marriages probably never should have happened.  

My advice to anyone considering marriage:
* Be sure that you are capable of being honest, fair, and making sacrifices and compromises.
* Know someone VERY well before agreeing to get married.  Talk about EVERYTHING.
* Pick someone who is capable of being honest, fair, and making sacrifices and compromises.
* Make sure that neither of you has a fatal flaw that will doom your marriage (alcoholism, history of cheating, etc.).
* Don’t get married if you have ANY doubts.
* Like the man says, don’t be afraid to stay single.  Bad marriages sound as if they really suck.

eskimo
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: ravells on January 27, 2004, 09:10:05 AM
This site should win some kind of award. It's pure genius.

Ravs
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Bodhi on January 27, 2004, 09:13:47 AM
Capt.  enven though I think you' are a moron, I will offer you a bit of advice.  I made the same mistake when I was 23, got married.  Well guess what, roughly $250,000. later (that does not include what I spent on her during the marriage) I am flipping divorced, and have been happily divorced for over 4 years now.  Notice I say happily, a quarter of a million dollars gone, and yet I am still happy about it!  

No more *****ing


No more whining


No more lies


No more being broke (mind you it took 4 years to restore some of what I lost!)


What I do enjoy now is having money, being able to do what I want, and generally not giving a crap about that aspect of life!

You need to put the brakes on hard, rethink your life, hit yourself in the balls with a 20 lb sledge or whatever else you think will jar you to your senses.  Otherwise, the odds are when you are in your 30's like I am, you will be working your prettythang off to recover from a horid mistake in your 20's.

So, listen to divorced men the world over's advice:



WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT GET MARRIED!!!!!!
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: mrblack on January 27, 2004, 12:39:31 PM
Quote
Originally posted by midnight Target
You keep on sticking up for your wife there MrBlack. I'm sure she appreciates it.


Just saying If i hade the choice a again i would have choosen to be single thats all.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ping on January 27, 2004, 12:52:16 PM
Cmon..tell us the truth. Thats what your wife told you right? ;)
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: miko2d on January 27, 2004, 01:12:42 PM
Site is fun.
 Some of the advice is usefull - on how to select a good wife, etc.

 If the american people still received that knowlege - and on how to be a good husband or wife - from their parents rather than media when it's too late, they would not be slowly going extinct.

 miko
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: airguard on January 27, 2004, 01:49:14 PM
LOL that site is for gays :) they sure want us all :D

Im still married and having fun :)
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Dnil on January 27, 2004, 02:03:51 PM
site is spot on.  

My ex exactly in all that.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Saurdaukar on January 27, 2004, 02:06:02 PM
I propose we have next years con in Bangkok.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Rude on January 27, 2004, 02:27:41 PM
Quote
Originally posted by miko2d
Site is fun.
 Some of the advice is usefull - on how to select a good wife, etc.

 If the american people still received that knowlege - and on how to be a good husband or wife - from their parents rather than media when it's too late, they would not be slowly going extinct.

 miko


Well Miko....you nailed it....the part about parents and their children. It's generational....each generation is getting worse. This country in my short life has changed greatly...no longer right and wrong taught...it's all about what I want and how I feel.

Americans to a greater and greater extent are spoiled.

As to marriage, mine is nothing like what some of you seem to have or have had. My wife and I see our marriage as God defines it, not the world....that alone is the only reason my marriage has been a good one.

Perhaps the problem with marriage today has nothing to do with the institution, but rather the parties involved....people are mostly lost and do many things for all the wrong reasons.

It's sad.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Pongo on January 27, 2004, 02:56:31 PM
I think your correct Rude and congrats on your marriage.
I dont think that refutes the web site though.  Marriage is definatly in a state of flux. When laws change to match what marriage really is now maybe it will be more worthwhile again.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: miko2d on January 27, 2004, 02:58:52 PM
:)  :)  :)  :)

 miko
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ping on January 27, 2004, 02:59:21 PM
Well Im on my second marriage and I will state I prefer being married.

It really does take 2 to make and 1 to break.
Team work is the key.
6 years into the second I will say that even tho we have our trying times it is worth it.

edit. drunk spelling errors
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: midnight Target on January 27, 2004, 03:02:07 PM
Quote
Originally posted by mrblack
Just saying If i hade the choice a again i would have choosen to be single thats all.


Another experiment? I hope your wife never sees this.

I know... go run and tell her that you announced on the internet that you were sorry that you married her...That should make for a really cool thread!
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: hawker238 on January 27, 2004, 03:47:29 PM
MT and I just like destroying threads by making them about mrblack.


I just can't get enough of the guy.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ping on January 27, 2004, 03:48:42 PM
you have a homosexual fetish for mrblack?
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: hawker238 on January 27, 2004, 03:57:37 PM
See, Ping found the hidden message in the text!
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: hawker238 on January 27, 2004, 03:58:22 PM
I mean no.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ping on January 27, 2004, 03:58:29 PM
Im special :)
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Pfunk on January 27, 2004, 04:05:24 PM
why does every Golly-geemed thread have to be political???  jesus take the site for what it's worth Miko......or should I say Stalin
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: lazs2 on January 27, 2004, 05:52:39 PM
everyone should be married a couple of times to get perspective... also.. it is good to have children floating around... grandchildren even but... if I had it to do again I don't know if I would have the courage to go through all that again.

as for getting along with women... I don't do comprimise...  I don't lie well and don't feel all that great doing it  to someone I have to face every day.

best advice these days is to get a pre nuptual agreement and hope that you work something out that is not too painful on the children thing.

At this point, I have no interest in being around anyone on a daily basis.

my rule is that no girlfriend live closer than 60 miles away.   Any complaints about my personality or the way I do things will be listened to patiently but once I agree the discussion is over.   If  a woman doesn't like being around me then it is easy enough for her to simply leave and not come back.    There is no reason for her to leave things at my house and no reason that everything she needs to visit can't fit in one bag.

After two wives and many relationships I never use the word "love" to women.  I like women and tell em so.

lazs
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: beet1e on January 27, 2004, 06:07:14 PM
Cracking website! :cool:

I read a lot of it tonight, and will go back there tomorrow to read more. I can relate to a lot of what was said. I was nodding in agreement page after page after page - and my wife was American! :lol

I got divorced in 1995/96, and I'll never remarry. I'm not bitter as such, but I've simply no wish to run a repeat. I could see that there were going to be problems very soon after marriage, so we didn't have kids.

At the time I was getting divorced, I sought comfort/reassurance from my friends, and then looked on in amazement when one by one they themselves started divorcing. No fewer than 6 couples that were friends of mine in 1996 went for the Big D.

Of course there are some good marriages - look at eskimo. But it seems they are rare.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: mrblack on January 27, 2004, 06:10:14 PM
Quote
Originally posted by midnight Target
Another experiment? I hope your wife never sees this.

I know... go run and tell her that you announced on the internet that you were sorry that you married her...That should make for a really cool thread!


Geez you feel for that LOL:D
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: miko2d on January 27, 2004, 06:44:04 PM
Pfunk: why does every Golly-geemed thread have to be political??? ...take the site for what it's worth...

 Everything is political.
 And I did not say anything bad about the site. I believe it's great fun and even has some good practical advice. I've read most of it in Fred Reed's columns already.

 We were discussing with Rude why american women are so screwed up while the women from the countries not afflicted with democracy are so feminine, gracious and well-behaved. :)

 miko
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Creamo on January 27, 2004, 07:25:58 PM
It was a thread that started with Gman linking a goof Miko.

Kinda like "Children are overrated.
For every precious moment where the little brat does something special, there are 1,000 moments where they drive you crazy.

Ha.

Then you went off-

It all started - in modern history - with views first advanced by August Compte, Hegel and further developed theoretically by Marx but first implemented in a state by Bismark. In short it is caused by the advance of socialism and egalitarian social engineering associated with it.

The goal of socialists was to replace the "faulty" traditional institutions with newly created social institutions administered by the State.
The public school system was openly advocated as such when it was created, so were many other changes including child labor laws.


What?

Mr.Fish calls you a "thinker", I agree. But your such an *******.

Work on that. And you need a new stage. Why are you here?
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: miko2d on January 27, 2004, 07:32:29 PM
Do not make a big deal out of it. I am multitasking here. I saw Rude's post and I fired a reply to it - by that time I've forgotten what the thread was about or at least did not think of it. Next time I'll try to pay more attention.

 miko
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: SirLoin on January 27, 2004, 09:08:54 PM
Marriage=Commitment

I would like to elaborate but my commitment is yelling for me to get the hell outta the computer room.

GMan,hope it works out for ya bro.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: NUKE on January 27, 2004, 09:13:28 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Creamo

Mr.Fish calls you a "thinker", I agree. But your such an *******.

 


A "thinker" lol
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Capt. Pork on January 27, 2004, 10:35:04 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Bodhi
Capt.  enven though I think you' are a moron, I will offer you a bit of advice.  



Thanks for the advice Bodhi... And I'll take the moron comment as a considerable improvement over what you called me earlier.

:D
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Creamo on January 27, 2004, 10:52:36 PM
Quote
Originally posted by NUKE
A "thinker" lol


And you discount that how?

He's a blow hard but come on.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: beet1e on January 28, 2004, 04:52:52 AM
ROFL! I've just read some more of it. :lol A corker of a website. :aok Some might be offended by its somewhat irreverent style, and yet as I read it I can picture people that I have known. And that's the sad part. So much of what is there is true.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: aztec on January 28, 2004, 07:53:11 AM
Quote
Originally posted by beet1e
and my wife was American! :lol

 


Hmmmm;)
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: lazs2 on January 28, 2004, 08:15:46 AM
I am sure that it can all be traced to womens suffrage.   Ending womens suffrage will be good for both sexes.

lazs
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ripsnort on January 28, 2004, 08:20:07 AM
You guys just missed out, *I* married the best woman eva! Best friend, loves to fish, camp, would rather do a week on a lake than a week in Mexico, doesn't spend money on the latest fashions, earns more money than me, sticks to a budget, and still thinks that Johnson is a food group. :D

edit: speelling
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: lazs2 on January 28, 2004, 08:41:29 AM
rip... I don't care who she is.... I don't want to spend every day for ever looking/talking at someone.

lazs
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ripsnort on January 28, 2004, 08:45:59 AM
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
rip... I don't care who she is.... I don't want to spend every day for ever looking/talking at someone.

lazs


I completely understand Lazs, remember, I met you once. :eek: :D

(Incidently, I don't see her but 4 days a week, probably why our marriage is so successful! )
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: lazs2 on January 28, 2004, 08:56:24 AM
met me?  ah yes... I recall... you are the short bald guy...  mumble a lot.  

my best time in any marriage was about 8 months when I worked out of town and seen my wife about 2 days a week max.   I guess that is one way to have a successful marriage.

lazs
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: beet1e on January 28, 2004, 09:25:28 AM
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
my best time in any marriage was about 8 months when I worked out of town and seen my wife about 2 days a week max.   I guess that is one way to have a successful marriage.
I don't disagree. Remember the late comedian, Peter Cook? He was one half of a comedy duo. Dudley Moore was the other. Cook died in 1995, and in his obituary I read that he lived alone in one house, while his wife lived in another house about 150 yards down the road. I thought that was odd at the time, but you can see the sense in it. And as Cook himself said, more people would probably live like that if they could afford to.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Rude on January 28, 2004, 09:42:13 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Pongo
I think your correct Rude and congrats on your marriage.
I dont think that refutes the web site though.  Marriage is definatly in a state of flux. When laws change to match what marriage really is now maybe it will be more worthwhile again.


Might be hard to legislate love...sex maybe...but love?:)
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Rude on January 28, 2004, 09:59:39 AM
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
met me?  ah yes... I recall... you are the short bald guy...  mumble a lot.  

my best time in any marriage was about 8 months when I worked out of town and seen my wife about 2 days a week max.   I guess that is one way to have a successful marriage.

lazs
C'mon Laz...you've just danced with the wrong partners is all....it's impossible to seek out and collect a good one....still, they are out there.

BTW...I agree with the suffrage issue....what where they thinking?
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Dnil on January 28, 2004, 10:27:58 AM
true rude, there could be.

I guess there is a 40% chance of finding one you dont divorce.


I remember early in my marriage.  I felt exactly like Rip does.  Exactly.  Never would have thought I would ever get a divorce.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ripsnort on January 28, 2004, 11:00:02 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Dnil

I remember early in my marriage.  I felt exactly like Rip does.  Exactly.  Never would have thought I would ever get a divorce.


Whats early? Married 15 years now... but we've dated, known each other for 20 years.

No doubt, all sorts of variables for all sorts of situations.  Every relationship is unique.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: 2Slow on January 28, 2004, 11:22:09 AM
I am doomed!  Experiencing some of the worst stuff on the site now.  Of course, some of it is my own doing.  Mantra:  Delete explorer history and all off line files.  You really don't want her to see where you have been.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: lazs2 on January 28, 2004, 02:38:49 PM
my guess is that about 10% of the males and 50% of the females in this country have the personalities that would make a marriage work.

I am not one of the 10%.   Not even close.   I don't comprimise... can't lie to em... don't want someone hanging on me and like a lot of time to myself.   I also have hobbies that few women are interested in and can't pretend to be interested in what they are.  I don't care that much about food and hate eating out for the most part.   I can't watch a 'chick flik" unless it has some good action..

In short... I am selfish and happy.   I do not aspire to be unselfish and unhappy.  

lazs
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: miko2d on January 28, 2004, 03:39:54 PM
There is a huge shortage of girls in India and China. In India some states have 150 boys born for for 100 girls. China is expected to have 40 million extra marriageable males in a couple of decades.

 In a few years the american women - who outnubmer men and are more active politically and tend to be liberal - will vote to relax immigration controls even further so they could import foreign husbands in place of americans who do not want them.

 That conversion of america to sino-indian race will of course be financed by a huge tax imposed on single childless non-married american males.

 Scary?

 miko
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ping on January 28, 2004, 03:45:09 PM
Yes but are you failing to mention that the larger ratio of baby boys being born is because they are killing the baby girls?
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Dnil on January 28, 2004, 04:22:16 PM
rip ya goof.  I meant when my marriage was new I felt how you do now.  After 11 years I didn't feel that way anymore.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ripsnort on January 28, 2004, 04:22:30 PM
Quote
Originally posted by miko2d
There is a huge shortage of girls in India and China. In India some states have 150 boys born for for 100 girls. China is expected to have 40 million extra marriageable males in a couple of decades.

 In a few years the american women - who outnubmer men and are more active politically and tend to be liberal - will vote to relax immigration controls even further so they could import foreign husbands in place of americans who do not want them.

 That conversion of america to sino-indian race will of course be financed by a huge tax imposed on single childless non-married american males.

 Scary?

 miko


Considering the male anatomy of the Chinese and Indians, white men have nothing to worry about, if you get my drift ;)
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: rpm on January 28, 2004, 04:39:45 PM
I don't think American women would be happy at all with foreign husbands. Most foreign cultures are VERY male dominant.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: hawker238 on January 28, 2004, 05:40:22 PM
Right on Rip.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: midnight Target on January 28, 2004, 05:44:27 PM
Marriage had absolutely NO affect on my ex-wifes libido..... just ask anybody.



badumbum
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Vulcan on January 28, 2004, 07:00:10 PM
Quote
Originally posted by rpm371
I don't think American women would be happy at all with foreign husbands. Most foreign cultures are VERY male dominant.


Shows how much you know.

Another one of those myths like Asian women being subservient.

Asian women are actually very dominant. They're just not unrealistic shallow greedy *****es.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: miko2d on January 28, 2004, 07:46:39 PM
Ripsnort: Considering the male anatomy of the Chinese and Indians, white men have nothing to worry about, if you get my drift

 Have you read the site that is so praised here? It's main point that american women lose interest in having sex with their husbands the moment vows are uttered. So male anatomy does not really figure here.


rpm371: Most foreign cultures are VERY male dominant.

 Their cultures are also very family-oriented and a man without a wife and children is not considered a complete man there. So they will adopt to the new ways.


Vulcan: Asian women are actually very dominant.

 Not so much dominant as brought up to perform their traditional family roles while expecting men to perform theirs without mutual interference.

 miko
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: ravells on January 29, 2004, 05:03:50 AM
Two of my ex-girlfriends were American - I didn't find them dominant, shallow or pushy in the least. In fact, if anything they were more feminine and receptive than many Asian and European women I know.

Although the site is fun, it is a generalisation about a stereotype not just of American women but of women everywhere.

Miko, I hate to say it, but I think you have a very romanticised view of Asian marriages.

Ravs
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ping on January 29, 2004, 06:39:36 AM
Note to self: Don't romanticize asian marriages.

Is it O K to Fantasize about asian marriages?
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Vulcan on January 29, 2004, 06:58:56 AM
Quote
Originally posted by miko2d

Not so much dominant as brought up to perform their traditional family roles while expecting men to perform theirs without mutual interference.

 miko


Wrong. For example, its quite common for Asian women to control the finances, and in a business to have much more control than the men.

And don't even both arguing with me on this one. I got married in Phnom Penh by the head Buddhist Monk of Cambodia, I've had 4 asian girlfriends (excl the wife). My extended 'family' and friends are all either Cambodian, Chinese, Vietnamese, or Lao. And this covers a time period of 15 years.

(ping you may continue romantisizing asian marriages)
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: miko2d on January 29, 2004, 08:09:49 AM
ravells: Two of my ex-girlfriends were American - I didn't find them dominant, shallow or pushy in the least.

 All of them are - why would they be girlfriends otherwise? Apparently something bad happens when girlfriends become wives...

Miko, I hate to say it, but I think you have a very romanticised view of Asian marriages.

 I do not have first-hand experience of it but an opinion from the people I tend to trust. Anyway, considering those women to be properly programmed is hardly "romanticising" on my part.


Vulcan: Wrong. For example, its quite common for Asian women to control the finances, and in a business to have much more control than the men.
 And don't even both arguing with me on this one.


 Wrong!? Argue with you!? Your example is exactly what I ment by "brought up to perform their traditional family roles". The complete maganement of household and household finances is one of the traditional family roles a properly brought-up asian woman is expected to perform.
 My wife is not an asian, so it took me several years to train her to take full control of the family finances.


 A question I have been pondering for a while but could not spare time for detailed research. As far as I know the very concept of "romantic love" was an artificial creation of relatively recent Middle Ages or later - the "Age of Chivalry" or rather the time when that "age" was invented by travelling minstrels. Even after that it was extremely rare and did not spread among general population untill 19th century (increased women literacy, cheap book printing and spread of romantic novels?).

 Before that in our western civilisation - which most trace from Ancient Greece - there was no concept of "love" between a man and a woman. At least as we understand it - romantic love.
 They had attraction and lust but no "love".
 And not like they did not romanticis. They romanticised all the time but only the friendship (between men), not love.

 They were constantly discussing the "virtues of woman" but those virtues had very little with romantic concept but mostly with suitability to be a wife. Marriages were mostly arranged by experienced adults and as long as the woman's "virtues" corresponded to the advertised ones, a man had a good wife and both were happy.

 I have not seen anything in other cultures - eastern, muslim, otehrs - that resembles the modern western concept of romantic love but much closer to the concepts of pre-romanticism.

 I believe the major problem with american women is that they believe in the romantic love - which is natural, given our media, and when they face the reality (of it's non-existance) they cannot handle it or fail to realise it and blame the man for not keeping alive what never existed.
 Asians and other cultures' women are just more realistic.

 miko
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: lazs2 on January 29, 2004, 08:22:49 AM
regardless of if you are happily married or not...

I would advise that every married man have a cash stash that is about 10% of your yearly income.  It should be in cash and there should be no hint that it exists.

When it all goes to hell you will be able to survive during the shock part (the first few months)...  why add financial problems to your depression?   If you remain happily married forever... well... It will be a nice surprise for your survivors.

lazs
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ripsnort on January 29, 2004, 08:42:19 AM
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
When it all goes to hell you will be able to survive during the shock part (the first few months)...  why add financial problems to your depression?   If you remain happily married forever... well... It will be a nice surprise for your survivors.

lazs


Ahh, ever the optimist...;)
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: lazs2 on January 29, 2004, 08:52:33 AM
just curious rip... do you buy "survivor" insurance for your house?  

lazs
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ripsnort on January 29, 2004, 09:04:58 AM
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
just curious rip... do you buy "survivor" insurance for your house?  

lazs


I'm not sure what that is, but if something happens to my wife or myself, the house is paid for. Should I worry considering she has a CCP and handles a weapon confidently?
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Blammo on January 29, 2004, 10:53:19 AM
Greetings!

Here is my deal:  my first wife matches pretty well some of the comments listed in the link and given here.

However, with my current wife or 9 years (and two children), I have to agree with eskimo2.  My wife is an awesome woman.  Like anyone in the real world, there are times of trouble...but to own what I own, I initiate some of that.  Through it all, my "Western Woman"  has been by best inspiration, ally and friend.

I know it may be sappy and sorry to hear so many are having problems.  It would be interesting to find out how many men, if they were honest, earned some of what they are getting (or not getting).  I know there are certain women out there that are not exactly marrying stock (my first wife included as she has since gone through three husbands), but there are also a lot of good ones out there (example: my wife).

Just my 2/100 worth.
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ping on January 29, 2004, 11:30:58 AM
Rip: All I can say is, Can I have the Beemer If anything should happen?
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: lazs2 on January 29, 2004, 02:22:06 PM
rip... the actuary tables show that you are far less likely to die before you sell your house than you are to be divorced.   yet... you buy insurance..

having a few grand in cash is good divorce insurance..

lazs
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: Ripsnort on January 29, 2004, 03:25:56 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Ping
Rip: All I can say is, Can I have the Beemer If anything should happen?


You'll have to fight my oldest son over it...maybe head to head duel, he's been flying since he was 3 (online, first Warbirds, then AH)
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: eskimo2 on January 29, 2004, 09:15:25 PM
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
my guess is that about 10% of the males and 50% of the females in this country have the personalities that would make a marriage work.

lazs


I'd say that this is an overestimate of women, and underestimate of men.  My guess would be 25% of men and 35% of women.  

The points brought up in the web site does describe a lot of women, but not all as the author implies.  And I know a lot of men who are, or would make, good husbands.

eskimo
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: miko2d on January 30, 2004, 08:27:55 AM
eskimo2:  My guess would be 25% of men and 35% of women.

 I'd say it would be 80% of men and 50% of women who are a good marriage material.

 Men are being raised to work hard and achieve - all of them. Many women are not raised to work but to snap a man. And when one cannot work in general, one cannot have a good marriage either because it is a lot of work.

 The legal system in US is stacked up against men - children, property go to the mother, a claim of domestic violence from a women is believed automatically even though women do most of domestic violence. Women initiate most of divorces.

 So men are dissuaded from marriage much more than women are. A failed marriage is still a success for a women but a disaster for life for a man. So men seem more hesitant - they have good reasons to.

 miko
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: lazs2 on January 30, 2004, 08:30:45 AM
we are talking about the reality of the situation here...

I stick by my 10% men and 50% women if we are talking about the present way that marriage is handled in America.

If you are talking about the way it could be then the numbers would of course, be higher.

lazs
Title: Recently Divorced like myself? Best website evar!
Post by: beet1e on January 30, 2004, 10:02:03 AM
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
my rule is that no girlfriend live closer than 60 miles away.   Any complaints about my personality or the way I do things will be listened to patiently but once I agree the discussion is over.   If  a woman doesn't like being around me then it is easy enough for her to simply leave and not come back.    There is no reason for her to leave things at my house and no reason that everything she needs to visit can't fit in one bag.
What does smml think about this?