Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Saurdaukar on March 05, 2004, 02:31:41 PM
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Dont believe in God, Jesus was a crazy man, the Bible is a fairy tale, etc.
Im offering to buy your soul for $5. I'll send you the check if you sign an agreement stating that you are selling your soul to me.
Free money - what do you care? Whos among the willing?
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Sorry but I already sold mine. It's a pretty common finantial operation called "30-year mortgage"
Best of luck with the others.
Daniel
EDIT: And my little dog's too!
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Then call your bank and organize a soul-out refi and call me.
I can help with some of that mortgage payment and all you need to do it sign a little peice of paper. :)
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Saur!
Awesome!!
I do not believe in the Christian god, and sometimes I do not want to believe in god, but deep down.... I do mostly.
Sadly if you want to know what ruined me for Christianity? Christian school.
I think Gibson deserves a lot of credit for making his movie.
I also think most Christians are good people. Not that atheist are all bad, but some are horrid excuses for humans. (yes I have met “Christians” like that too)
****ing with someones faith is wrong. I have in the past, and I am sorry. I learned that someone having faith not a bad thing.
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How well you gonna care for it?
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Originally posted by Saurdaukar
Dont believe in God, Jesus was a crazy man, the Bible is a fairy tale, etc.
Im offering to buy your soul for $5. I'll send you the check if you sign an agreement stating that you are selling your soul to me.
Free money - what do you care? Whos among the willing?
I think your confusing god, faith and a belief in an immortal soul with Christianity. The bible was a story meant to illustrate certain aspects of life. If you're one who takes everything in it literally, I'll sell you a brain for $5. My hamster just died of cancer and doesn't need it anymore.
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Originally posted by midnight Target
How well you gonna care for it?
Glass jar under my bed.
Originally posted by Capt. Pork
I think your confusing god, faith and a belief in an immortal soul with Christianity. The bible was a story meant to illustrate certain aspects of life. If you're one who takes everything in it literally, I'll sell you a brain for $5. My hamster just died of cancer and doesn't need it anymore.
I dont want your dead hampsters brain and I dont want to argue about religion.
I want your soul.
$5 - PayPal, check, cash, your choice. Money for nothing and chicks for free.
You game?
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You really should start with a brain.
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seriously.
oh well. they oughta bring back the Inquisition.
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Too much overhead. Souls are easily transportable and low maint. Plus, they dont make my house smell like fermeldahyde (sp?).
Whats with you people? You dont want free money?
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Make it $10 and it's a deal. :cool:
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For your soul? Ill pay $10 without hesitation.
Let me draft a contract.
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It isn't yours to sell.........
ahhhhhh forget it....just let em do it:rolleyes:
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It's moot anyway. My soul belongs to Marge Simpson.
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Well whoopee if this place aint better than ePay!
I've had my soul in a mason jar for about eight years now. During that time I've collected about 19 others which all in thier own individual containers too.
But the time is right and I'm ready to sell. The deal is you have to buy the lot of them.
Just send me a money order or bank check and I will send you back all your paperwork and the 20 jars with my collection of eclectic souls contained inside them.
I got a ghost in a jar too.
Interested?
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Ill lease mine to you for 10$ (US) per year. You are responsible for all upkeep. I will warn you though. My soul is an anoying high maintenenece one. Probably more then you can handle.
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Is that $5.00 US or Canadian?
I'll sell ya mine, although I will feel guilty for duping you outta $5, seeing as how its not "really" real. But hey, whatever floats yer boat.
RTR
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only $5? why, the devil offered much more, he said i could as rich as trump or gates, but because i don't believe in the devil i had to turn him down.
hey westy, you got a real ghost in a jar? can it do any tricks?
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hmmmm..actually on second thought, I have never ripped anyone off for anything before, and I'm not about to start now.
It's yours. Free and clear. Do whatever you wish with it. All you gotta do is send me something to pack it up in, and you pay the shipping and handling.
RTR
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Smoking is bad for Hamsters.
RTR
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Here, we can use this for a basic template. Of course it will be slightly more presentable in final form.
Proof of Sale
VIA Facsimile
4 March 2004
Sandman_SBM
Aces High BBS
Mr. Sandman_SBM,
Following our conversation of earlier this morning, please find below the agreement of sale to be signed and returned to this office at your ealiest convinence.
This document will serve as a Proof of Sale between Sandman_SBM (Moveon.org) and Saurdaukar (Saurdaukar Souls, LLC).
Saurdaukar Souls LLC
Agreement/Proof of Sale
The term of the agreement begins 4 March 2004 with no set end date. The Agreement/Proof of Sale is made by Saurdaukar Souls, LLC and Sandman_SBM, for good and valuable consideration and is intending to be legally bound, hereby, The Company and the Individual agree as follows.
Products of Individual
1.01 The Individual hereby agrees to provide to The Company with the following. The description of objects and or entities includes, but is not limited to:
A. One (1) soul belonging to the Individual in good working order.
B. One (1) signed Agreement/Proof of Sale confirming the sale of soul.
1.02 The Individual at all times during the performance of the Agreement shall strictly adhere to and obey all federal, state and paranormal laws, rules and regulations as from time to time amended, including, but not limited to, the applicable laws and regulations governing the sale of non-material products.
Compensation of the Individual
2.01 As compensation for services rendered, the Individual shall be entitled to payment as described in Exhibit "A". Payment hereunder shall be deemed earned when a soul is delivered. The Individual recognizes and agrees that The Company has the right, at any time and in its sole discretion, to modify or adjust pricing structure and to modify or eliminate existing products and agreements or to introduce new products and agreements regardless of the impact on payment. The direct solicitation of Saurdaukar Souls LLC's current soul portfolio is not permitted without The Company’s prior written consent.
Property Rights of the Parties
3.01 During the term of this agreement and for a period of ninety (90) days immediately following the termination of the Agreement, the Individual shall not directly or indirectly;
A. Make known to any person, firm or corporation the names and addresses of any of the customers, applicants or current prospective customers or applicants of The Company or any other information pertaining to them, or;
B. Call on, solicit, or take away any of The Company’s current soul selling applicants.
3.02 The Individual shall not, during the term of this Agreement or at any time following its termination, disclose any trade secrets, marketing studies, advertising or promotional materials, customer lists, logs or reports or any other forms, surveys, or materials which are owned by the Company.
General Provisions
4.01 This Agreement supersedes any and all other agreements, either oral or written, between the parties with respect to the sale of the Individual's soul to The Company
4.02 The Agreement shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania except its choice of law principles and to the extent preempted by federal law.
4.03 The Company reserves the right to amend this agreement without notice.
Saurdaukar Souls LLC[/u]
By:___________________ , Date ___________
Sandman_SBM, Individual Seller.
By:___________________ , Date ___________
Saurdaukar, President, Saurdaukar Souls, LLC.
*Appendix A: Sales price as agreed, $10.00 USD.
I, Sandman_SBM, hereby confirm that I have recieved payment for one (1) soul belonging to my person.
By:___________________ , Date ___________
Sandman_SBM, Individual Seller.
I, Saurdaukar, hereby confirm that I have recieved one (1) soul belonging to the Individual.
By:___________________ , Date ___________
Saurdaukar, President, Saurdaukar Souls, LLC.
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If you're giving him 10 bucks i want 10 also..
Draft up another one capt. its sellin time.
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RTR. Youre generosity is overwhelming. Verbal agreement in this case is satisfactory. There is no need to ship. The verbal agreement (or typed in this case) will be enough to transfer ownership.
Congratulations! You are the first customer of Saurdaukar Souls, LLC and will be remembered accordingly!
Desire, offer, and agreement to buy back your soul will hinge on the mood of the current owner at the time of request.
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Originally posted by Krugars
If you're giving him 10 bucks i want 10 also..
Draft up another one capt. its sellin time.
Regrettably, Sandman's soul is worth a premium. Much like a Hank Arron baseball card. Ill give you $1.25 for yours.
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Ouch, that hurts.
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Business is business. :D
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this is too funny
wtg Saurdaukar - way to make them think
will be watching to see how many "unbelievers" take you up on your offer - gl sir
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I'll do it for $7.50.
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You can have my soul for free.
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Sorry Saur..
I think i can get more on ebay
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Originally posted by Nilsen10
Sorry Saur..
I think i can get more on ebay
Yeah, but think of the risks of selling to a strange company. Youre garunteed proper treatment and first class customer service at Saurdaukar Souls, LLC!
SunTracker! Welcome to the family! May your life be fruitful following the transation!
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LOL Saur...
A stange company is worse than a strange man that looks like a smoking monkey?? :D
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Originally posted by Furious
I'll do it for $7.50.
Unfortunately, Saurdaukar Souls, LLC does not purchase souls belonging to those already condemned to damnation! They dont get along well with the other souls and there is a very high risk of containment breech.
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Please put in a clause that you will not mate my soul with another to creat any little souls.
And a quit claim that states that even if there were accidental procreation between my old soul and any other, while either under your care or that of anyone to whom you sell my soul to, that I will be held not liable for said soulspring nor will I be submitted to a soulimony suits, from here on after, etc etc.
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Originally posted by Westy
Please put in a clause that you will not mate my soul with another to creat any little souls.
And a quit claim that states that even if there were accidental procreation between my old soul and any other, while either under your care or that of anyone to whom you sell my soul to, that I will be held not liable for said soulspring nor will I be submitted to a soulimony suits, from here on after, etc etc.
Does this statement confirm that you are donating your soul to The Company?
Bless you sir!
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WhoooHooooo!
Finally First at something!
Hmmmm. although I think I may have found a flaw in your plans there Saurdaukar.
"...LLC does not purchase souls belonging to those already condemned to damnation!"
You see, I think that if you believe you have a soul, and you sell it, you have violated your belief, and therefore that soul is automatically condemned to damnation. The reciprocal should therefore follow as well.
Buying of souls would therefore be a violation.
So thats two sins.
Great, now Gods gotta go and figure out whose was whose, clean'em back up and get'em returned. Not too mention that he now has to get yet another room ready in purgatory for you.
Poor god, I mean aint he got enough to do already, what with the disease and pestilence thing?
WTG Saur. I wouldn't want to be you when the big guy gets finished with all this.
LOLOL
RTR
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ROFL!!! Its alright. I did this in college. Without fail I was able to sell back each and every soul for a profit within 3 weeks.
Im doing the work of the Lord here, please do not interfere! :D
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LOL Saur....
I am an athiest (pure and simple), but what your doing is kind of intriguing :cool:
Okay I won't interfer LOL
Don't get my soul all messy and stuff, and seeing as how its the first, I expect to see it displayed properly and promptly in your window.
Cheers,
RTR:rofl
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Hmm..
If i sent my soul with airmail and the plane crashes...will i loose it for ever, or will it be insured by LLC in any way?
Does the 5 american pesos include shipping, or will LLC pay for that to?
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I wonder what the % rate is of people on there death beds finding God after years of atheism?
Im thinking in the hi 90s
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If that is true LAW and saur began collecting in college then he is a very old man.....scary
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Originally posted by Nilsen10
If that is true LAW and saur began collecting in college then he is a very old man.....scary
Me old? Nah, probably one of the younger members on the boards.
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Ahhh LAW thats a parody of the saying "there's no athiests in a foxhole", if i'm not mistaken.
Well here's another old saying for ya.
"God aint in this foxhole with ya son. I am. Now shut up and start shooting."
:rofl
I love this thread!
RTR
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Make 'em sign in their own blood Saur. :aok
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Originally posted by Nilsen10
LOL Saur...
A stange company is worse than a strange man that looks like a smoking monkey?? :D
Speaking of that....the last avatar was MUCH better :)
culero
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(http://dotdoubledot.com/img/soul1.jpg)
(http://dotdoubledot.com/img/soul2.jpg)
:D
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If you do by chance retain any souls belonging to any of the FDB's you better keep'em segregated, or your gonna have a soul riot on yer hands. There's no telling where them souls have been!
RTR
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LOL sandman
Btw saur..
If my soul should be faulty (DOA), will you prefer a replacement, money back or will you give me a chanse to fix it?
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ROFL Sandman! :D
Nilsen. I do not offer any sort of Soul Insurance, although I can assure that the best possible care will be given to your non-material self.
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I'll sell mine for 2.00 Saur.
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Is the price now 10$, I just don't wanna get ripped off :) Um, how do I deliver, do I need to perform any kind of silly ritual to get my soul ready for delivery?? How would you even know you had it? and how do you keep mine seperate from sandmans?
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Originally posted by Boozer2
Is the price now 10$, I just don't wanna get ripped off :) Um, how do I deliver, do I need to perform any kind of silly ritual to get my soul ready for delivery?? How would you even know you had it? and how do you keep mine seperate from sandmans?
After you've sold it, why do you care? :)
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Originally posted by Capt. Pork
I think your confusing god, faith and a belief in an immortal soul with Christianity. The bible was a story meant to illustrate certain aspects of life. If you're one who takes everything in it literally, I'll sell you a brain for $5. My hamster just died of cancer and doesn't need it anymore.
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
I think I just pissed myself laughing. Couldn't agree with you more.
I consider myself agnostic, so my soul stays w/ me. :)
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DING DING DING FREE MONEY!!!
I accept paypal !!!
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Originally posted by Frogm4n
DING DING DING FREE MONEY!!!
I accept paypal !!!
It's free only if you have no soul or if you are certain that your agreement isn't binding. You sound pretty confident, but who here is really without doubt?
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I think Allah has a special place for me when the time comes :)
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Saur...
Our deal is not signed in blood yet, and i havent seen any pesos. Take my name off your list ...this is false marketing by LLC :D
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Originally posted by AKIron
It's free only if you have no soul or if you are certain that your agreement isn't binding. You sound pretty confident, but who here is really without doubt?
DING DING DING FREE MONEY!!!!! I ACCEPT PAYPAL!
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Mine's available for $750,000 - or £500,000 if you prefer, bank draft or TT preferred, plse send contract over for signature.
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...who here is really without doubt?
Only those with true faith. Many who profess faith do so with a seed of doubt, and are therefore faithless.
The professed faithless would not sell because of the doubt that they may be wrong.
Those who are so sure that they would sell are not faithless.
Selling Saurdaukar your soul proves your faith in the unprovable; that the soul does not exist.
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Originally posted by Boozer2
Is the price now 10$, I just don't wanna get ripped off :) Um, how do I deliver, do I need to perform any kind of silly ritual to get my soul ready for delivery?? How would you even know you had it? and how do you keep mine seperate from sandmans?
Yes I will keep your soul seperate from Sandmans (Its amazing how many requests we've had for this special treatment.
However, given the costs of soul seperation and the containment chamber built specificly for Sandmans soul, I am unable to pay any money for yours. I will however be willing to trade you naken pictures of my girlfriend as payment.
Originally posted by Frogm4n
DING DING DING FREE MONEY!!!
I accept paypal !!!
Saurdaukar Souls, LLC regrets to inform you that after carefully looking into the issue, it has been determined by our Underwriting Department that you have no soul and therefore have nothing of interest to us.
Best regards,
Saur
Originally posted by _Schadenfreude_
Mine's available for $750,000 - or £500,000 if you prefer, bank draft or TT preferred, plse send contract over for signature.
Although I would LOVE to have your soul in the possession of our trained containment experts, there is no way I can afford to pay that amoutn of money... besides... I dont know what that funny symbol is.
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It's pretty foolish to think that souls (if such things even exist) could be sold by a human transaction.
It's superstition very similar to some primitive beliefs that a camera steals your soul if a picture is taken.
:rolleyes:
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Dear Mr. Saurdorker,
I hear that you are in the business of buying/selling/trading souls. I have one for sale, slightly used, but still in great shape. It has been tainted by a few shady deals, but for the most part is tip top and has quite a few good miles left on it. It's yours for $100, as I won't sign a contract for anything less. I will also require, as compensation for my soul, the aforementioned naked pictures of your girlfriend. However, for a soul of my caliber, this is surely a bargain.
Regards,
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I belive in souls, but im NOT religous. A soul is imo what seperates a man from a highly advanced robot in the year 35000 with artificial inteligence.
Feelings, emotions, thoughts abstract thinking etc etc...
and no...of course you cant sell it or give it away, that would be like giving away your consious self.
Thats why i have no problems with "selling" it for 5 US pesos
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lol nice cop out saur.
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Saur..You gonna be doing some grovellin' at the gates when your time comes..:)
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I bet Sandman buys his soul back within a year.
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You can have mine for $5.00. Shipping costs are for buyer, one year limited manufacturer's warrantee.
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Originally posted by Thud
You can have mine for $5.00. Shipping costs are for buyer, one year limited manufacturer's warrantee.
I bet if you flew the Thud in wartime, you wouldn't ever consider selling your soul. :)
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Originally posted by TBolt A-10
I bet if you flew the Thud in wartime, you wouldn't ever consider selling your soul. :)
I doubt it, but can hardly comment on it, just speculate...
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I like to believe I'm good at lateral thinking. My girlfriend just says I'm weird. LOL:D
But it occured to me immediately that there was a certain paradox in the question that perhaps Saurdaker was looking to exploit. I see one or two others spotted it as well. Quite simply if you believe you have an immortal soul and claim to be faithless or an atheist (edited to remove agnostic as per next post) you are contradicting yourself.
If you don't believe in God or life after death you don't have a soul to sell. End of argument.
But Saurdaker I am willing to sell my notional soul to you because all that is necessary is that YOU believe I have one. Plus I need the money and that is real.
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That's not entirely true. Being agnostic simply means that I don't practice any of the current religion, not that I don't believe in God. Now for being an atheist, you might have a point.
However that has nothing to do with believing there's a soul. One can not believe in God, but believe in reincarnation.
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Originally posted by TBolt A-10
I bet Sandman buys his soul back within a year.
Make it $10 and we have a bet. :cool:
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Didn't the simpsons do this first?
Anyhow....
I'm afraid you'll have to buy mine off my wife (who aparently has the deed)
Tronsky
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Originally posted by TBolt A-10
I bet Sandman buys his soul back within a year.
Originally posted by Sandman_SBM
Make it $10 and we have a bet. :cool:
No deal. With my luck, you'd just wait until 1yr+1 day to perform the buy-back. ;) :D :lol
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Originally posted by cpxxx
But it occured to me immediately that there was a certain paradox in the question that perhaps Saurdaker was looking to exploit. I see one or two others spotted it as well. Quite simply if you believe you have an immortal soul and claim to be faithless or agnostic you are contradicting yourself.
:eek:
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As we Americans belive competition is essential to free enterprise I am now offering services in Soul Collection and storage. I will buy your souls for $5.50. We offer a 6 month buyback plan (you have 2 chances to buy it back). I do offer insurance for a premium of $.50 every six months. Your soul would be insured for twice it's retail value($11.00).
We at Coolrider Enterprises have invested in the latest in soul containment and storage. Your soul will be held in a state of the art container made from the latest in composite materials. It will then be placed in storage clearly labeled in my climate controlled facility. All souls are electronnically tagged and scanned in the master inventory on my HP Pavillion 522n for accurate tracking. The containers are rotated evey week to ensure your soul is not settling enevenly in the container. Once every quarter all souls are taken out of storage and aired out to prevent any decay from being stored from for long periods of time.
If after one year you do not buy back your soul. Coolrider Enterprises reserves the right to sell your soul to any party interested for profit.
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Heh, amature. ;)
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Y'all are scarin me:(
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non issue, souls don't exist.
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not according to these guys!
(http://www.maximumeyewear.com/productfolder/sunglasses/johnbelushisunglasses/bluesbrothers.jpg)