Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: RedDg on April 15, 2004, 06:27:13 PM
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Just got this in an email...
Subject: FW: A true gem of a funny
Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
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She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne,Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
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Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water.
It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job".
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I work at a restaurant. An old man **** all over the floor right in front of the register the other night. I had to clean it up, including the trail he left to the bathroom. I don't think having my butt swollen shut would be much worst.
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Man Adam, that has to suck. lol. Hope you don't work at a Mexican food resturant. :)
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Err, jellyfish aren't so bad. I was once a Windsurfing counselor at a big camp.
I had to swim in jellyfish infested waters. They aren't so bad after a while.
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Originally posted by AdmRose
I work at a restaurant. An old man **** all over the floor right in front of the register the other night. I had to clean it up, including the trail he left to the bathroom. I don't think having my butt swollen shut would be much worst.
What a nightmare.
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Work at a college bar sometime. I have seen bathrooms that looked like a 20 pound bag of liquid fecal matter blew up in the center, with neon pukage as an overcoat.
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http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/diver.htm
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Originally posted by Vulcan
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/diver.htm
Yeah, I was wondering why a company would spend $20k on a pumping machine instead of (much more economical and efficient) dry suits.
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Originally posted by lasersailor184
Err, jellyfish aren't so bad. I was once a Windsurfing counselor at a big camp.
I had to swim in jellyfish infested waters. They aren't so bad after a while.
Try swimming into a Portugese Man-of-War.
These things HURT. They look like an airfilled plastic bag floating on the surface. Under them, however, are long tentacles that have barbs made from an acidic substance. Even if you get the tentacle off you there is nothing you can do about the acid barbs that are buried in your skin.
Two things help:
1. Meat tenderiser
2. Urine
Once a person is stung it is the only time you will ever likely hear them beg to be peed on.
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remind me something ...
hahem ... :D
(http://www.onpoi.net/ah/pics/users/344_1080995705_worstjob.jpg)
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LOL Straffo...thx :D
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Originally posted by gofaster
Yeah, I was wondering why a company would spend $20k on a pumping machine instead of (much more economical and efficient) dry suits.
They have their place, or at least they used to. When my dad deep sea dived in the 70s, he used a warm water system like the one described.