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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Ripsnort on April 19, 2004, 07:46:02 AM

Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Ripsnort on April 19, 2004, 07:46:02 AM
OFFICIAL 2004 DNC CONVENTION PROGRAM

6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:30pm - Anti-war rally no. 1.
6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.
7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:20pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25pm - Tribute theme to Spain.
7:45pm - Anti-war rally no. 2. (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:00pm - John Kerry presents one side of the issues
8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00pm - Gay marriage ceremony.

9:30pm - * Intermission *

10:00pm - Flag burning ceremony no. 2.
10:15pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:30pm - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
11:00pm - Double gay marriage ceremony.
11:15pm - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:20pm - John Kerry presents the other side of the issues
11:30pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
11:59pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00am - Nomination of Democrat candidate.
:rofl
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Sixpence on April 19, 2004, 07:50:45 AM
Kerry is hitler!!!
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: lazs2 on April 19, 2004, 08:01:53 AM
closer to stalin or... somebodys mom.

lazs
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Sixpence on April 19, 2004, 08:30:27 AM
BTW, you forgot to mention shut down the central artery for 4 days.
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Gnslngr on April 19, 2004, 08:32:55 AM
I specifically remember seeing a workshop on the itinerary:  How to blame bush for just about anything.

Maybe they figured out that doesnt quite work anymore
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: lazs2 on April 19, 2004, 08:44:04 AM
I hear bob woodard is the guest of honor and will have a book signing..   He has been hired by CNN to give unbiased coverage of both conventions.

bad news for democrats is that women don't vote as readily for ugly men.   He will have to appear "sensitive" to get their vote.   Might even have to resort to a few tears in some speeches.   If he loses the women and the gay vote all he will have left is the unions and blacks.

lazs
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Sixpence on April 19, 2004, 08:46:18 AM
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
If he loses the women and the gay vote all he will have left is the unions and blacks.

lazs
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: lasersailor184 on April 19, 2004, 01:18:31 PM
Only 2 flag burnings?  Man, the democrats are slacking...
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Ripsnort on May 12, 2004, 08:02:13 AM
Punt for Silat ;)
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: FUNKED1 on May 12, 2004, 08:08:09 AM
It's not as funny* as Si's post, but you get points for making it up yourself, unlike that slut Silat who cut-and-pasted.

*Because it's too close to the truth!
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Ripsnort on May 12, 2004, 08:11:41 AM
Quote
Originally posted by FUNKED1
It's not as funny* as Si's post, but you get points for making it up yourself, unlike that slut Silat who cut-and-pasted.

*Because it's too close to the truth!


Nah, this was an old cut and paste.
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: FUNKED1 on May 12, 2004, 08:13:09 AM
:eek:
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Sixpence on May 12, 2004, 08:14:54 AM
* LEST WE FORGET -- HONORARY ROLL CALL of All Members of (and Friends
of) Bush Administration Who Might Very Well Have Been Killed In Vietnam
If It Hadn't Been For Nasty Trick Knees, Anal Cysts, Recurrent
Headaches, and Highly-Placed, Overly-Protective Parents. (Sponsored by
Tyson Chicken)


lol, sponsored by tyson chicken

Ok, where is the Nader spoof?
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Sixpence on May 12, 2004, 08:16:40 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Sixpence
* LEST WE FORGET -- HONORARY ROLL CALL of All Members of (and Friends
of) Bush Administration Who Might Very Well Have Been Killed In Vietnam
If It Hadn't Been For Nasty Trick Knees, Anal Cysts, Recurrent
Headaches, and Highly-Placed, Overly-Protective Parents. (Sponsored by
Tyson Chicken)


lol, sponsored by tyson chicken

Ok, where is the Nader spoof?


oops, getting threads crossed, Bush made me do it!
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: firbal on May 12, 2004, 11:32:42 AM
Don't forget the BOOING of the Boy Scouts when they present the Colors.
Title: Re: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Red Tail 444 on May 12, 2004, 12:47:49 PM
For those "Fair and Balanced (yea, right)" among us, a rebuttal:

GOP Convention Program
5:30am - Richard Butler opening convocation speech
6:00pm - cross burning ceremony.
6:15pm- Condi Rice photo journal, "My first supertanker"
6:30pm - Anti-education rally no. 1. Spot and Barney, speakers
6:40pm - Dick Cheney's workshop on proper pretzel eating
7:00pm - Tribute theme to Saudi Arabia.
7:10pm - Anti-education rally no. 2. Barbara and Jenna (beverages served, ID not required)
7:20pm - Columba Bush proposes a toast
7:25pm - Tribute to Orlando Bosch.
7:45pm - Anti-education rally no. 3. Moderatred by India
8:00pm - Bill O'reilly presents one side of the issues
8:30pm - Barbara and Jenna crude oil wrestling exhibition.
9:00pm - Gay bashing ceremony
9:59pm - Tribute to Log Cabin Republicans
10:00pm - * Intermission *

10:05pm - Cross burning ceremony no. 2.
10:15pm - Re-enactment of Bush' pilgrimage form Texas to Alabama, 1968
10:30pm - Cameo by Chris Hannity plugging his book
10:40pm - Bush and Cheney propose a toast.
10:50pm - Ann Coulter speech - "Suicide Bleaching: A Prelude to Binging and Purging"
11:00pm - gay bashing ceremony.
11:19pm - Tribute to Log Cabin Republicans
11:20pm -  G.W Bush's workshop: "How to run a company into the ground, and earn a 15 million buyout."
11:30pm - Blame Everyone Else pep rally.
12:00am - George W. Bush Virtual Tour of "The Crawford Express" (AirForce One)
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: stiehl on May 12, 2004, 03:33:14 PM
8:30pm - Barbara and Jenna crude oil wrestling exhibition

Tickets??
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Ripsnort on May 12, 2004, 03:45:58 PM
Quote
Originally posted by stiehl
8:30pm - Barbara and Jenna crude oil wrestling exhibition

Tickets??


I've got 4 "Heinz Ketchup wrestling" tickets featuring Teresa Heinz Kerry and former Sec of State Madelyn Albright that I'll trade for 2 Barbara/Jenna Crude oil tickets!
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Pooh21 on May 12, 2004, 04:20:28 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Ripsnort
I've got 4 "Heinz Ketchup wrestling" tickets featuring Teresa Heinz Kerry and former Sec of State Madelyn Albright  


MUST CLEAN EYES WITH BLEACH!!!!:eek:
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Ripsnort on May 12, 2004, 04:38:35 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Pooh21
MUST CLEAN EYES WITH BLEACH!!!!:eek:


Good news! Madelyn has been scratched, Hillary will replace her!
Title: Rip
Post by: Silat on May 12, 2004, 04:45:10 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Ripsnort
Good news! Madelyn has been scratched, Hillary will replace her!

So you had to get this back on top. You are just jealous that my post was by far a bigger laugh.


               :lol
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Westy on May 12, 2004, 04:54:09 PM
lol Ripsnort.  Funny stuff  (I missed this earlier today) While Silats counter post had more detail and a deeper humour but this made me laugh too.


(equal opportunity patterer of the back)
Title: Democratic Convention Program for 2004
Post by: Red Tail 444 on May 12, 2004, 05:18:31 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Ripsnort
I've got 4 "Heinz Ketchup wrestling" tickets featuring Teresa Heinz Kerry and former Sec of State Madelyn Albright that I'll trade for 2 Barbara/Jenna Crude oil tickets!


No way, man....you got Madeline tix, you use em...I'm a man, not a masochist...gimme the spoiled rich kids, they're all freaks anyway :lol