Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: VOR on April 26, 2004, 08:36:32 AM
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Enjoy guys :)
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
George Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
Al Gore's Answer:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2004, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
Dr. Seuss' Answer:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa's Answer:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Barbara Walters' Answer:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
Ralph Nader's Answer:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Pat Buchanan's Answer:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Jerry Falwell's Answer:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side.".
John Lennon's Answer:
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
Aristotle's Answer:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Captain Kirk's Answer:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Bill Clinton's Answer I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
The Bible's Answer:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Albert Einstein's Answer:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
Sigmund Freud's Answer:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
L.A.P.D.'s Answer:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
Buddha's Answer:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
Joseph Stalin's Answer:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.
Louis Farrakhan's Answer:The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
The Pope's Answer:That is only for God to know.
Emily Dickenson's Answer:
Because it could not stop for death.
O.J. Simpson's Answer:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
Colonel Sanders' Answer:
I missed one?
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He crossed the road to get to the Dixie!!
Whooooooooooop!!!!!!
Gig 'em Aggies!!!!!!!!!!!
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John Kerry: The chicken crossed the road long befor I knew it did. Rember I voted for the chicken befor I voted against it. I think we need tougher laws....allow the chickens to cross roads but at the same time not allow those same chickens to cross
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Schrodinger: because you were watching.
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to prove to the opossum that it could be done successfully
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lazs. The chicken merely attempted to cross the road, it never made it. I blew it away with my new Makarov. Why? Because chickens are females, it probably came over the Mexican border to take a job away from an Ameeeerrrikan chicken and if not it looked like it could have been a government chicken and I was being a good armed citizen and stopped its oppression of my constitutional rights.
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Scuzzy:
"This road was not intended as a place to cross so I’m closing it before any others try it. And you chickens know what I’m talking about.”
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- Horatio Nelson: I see no chickens...
- Tony Blair chicken: I did not cross the road. I got half way, then made a U-turn and went back.
- Mars01: The chicken was on the deck when it made that crossing - that's where the skills are.
- Morpheus: None of your damned business to know why I think the chicken crossed the road. :mad:
- Ripsnort: To get to the BMW dealership. (Ripsnort's answer would of course be cut-n-pasted)
- Steve: To escape the cat that was chasing it. But the cat died anyway. Who cares?
- Nuke: Hey Beet1e - why the gun ban?
- Skuzzy: (moved thread to another forum)
- GTora32. This thread is stupid. You're going on the ignore list.
- Nopoop: I don't know.
But I know it did.
There can be no doubt about that.
I guess I'm just tired.
Or something. [/list]
And me: Beet1e: It was a TAS chicken crossing the road. Half way across it met a BK chicken crossing in the opposite direction. They fell in love and never did get to the other side. Hence, middle of road! :lol
Just kidding, guys, just kidding! (http://www.zen33071.zen.co.uk/jester.gif)
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Furious: I don't waste my time pondering the motives of chickens.:D
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Mr. Black - It never made it across the road cause I Sn!PeRd it good.
LAW Cobra - I can't wait to "meet" that chicken at the AH Con and make it sorry it ever crossed the road with me around.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
Jack Nicholson:
'Cause it ****ing wanted to. THAT'S the ****ing reason.
Colonel Sanders:
To persuade the vegetarians that a chicken is just a fast plant.
Robert Anton Wilson:
Because the Illuminati had manipulated him into Reality Tunnel #23. Fnord.
Adolf Hitler:
Because it was his racial destiny to expand his Chickensraum.
M.C. Escher:
Are you so sure he really crossed it? Look again..
T.S.Eliot:
Because chickens will not cease from crossing, and the end of all their crossings will be to reach the side of the road they started from, and to know it for the first time.
Oprah Winfrey:
He was reacting to a repressed traumatic caponisation in his childhood which he will now share with us in detail.
William Faulkner:
Because the inbreeding which had reduced his once proud line to alcoholic degenerates brooding among the magnolias serpentine with kudzu as the Mississippi sun poured its withering scorn on the abandoned cotton fields where his deranged father had pecked in dusty vain for forty years had driven him to the point where he no longer knew when to stop or whether in fact it was a good idea to stop since in his rare moments of lucidity he could see not even a semicolon for miles and miles and then some.......
F. Scott Fitzgerald:
Because he believed in the greenlight, the orgiastic chicken-run that year by year recedes before us. It eluded him then, but that's no matter; tomorrow he will scurry faster, poke out his beak further, and one fine day....
Paul McCartney: (from the other side of the road)
Yesterday.... all our chickens were so far away.
Wilbur and Orville Wright:
As to why, it is hard to say. Yet after we saw that it couldn't fly, a thought occurred... If we could build a skid with a track going down the hill to the road, she just might make it across without touching the ground.
Isaac Newton:
For that one crossing, there is an equal and opposite crossing occurring simultaneously.
Richard Nixon:
The chicken is not a crook.
Will Rogers:
I never met a chicken I didn't like.
Saddam Hussein - This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Erwin Schrodinger - Until you actually observe the chicken, it exists in a superposition of both crossed and uncrossed states.
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Originally posted by myelo
Scuzzy:
"This road was not intended as a place to cross so I’m closing it before any others try it. And you chickens know what I’m talking about.”
LOL! Good one myelo. Question: Can any of the FDB's spell? :D
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Oops, sorry about that Skuzzy.
And no, none of the FDBs can spell.
That’s because our squad’s “No Bastard Left Behind” educational program is chronically under funded due to diversion of resources to the more popular “No Beer Left Undrunk” program.
It’s an election year, so what can you do?
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Well,..sounds like an equal oppertunity squad. I can live with that. :D
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Flossy: What's with all this 'he'? Chickens are female!
:)
If she wants to cross the road, she'll dam well do it! :D
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ROFL :rofl
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Originally posted by Flossy
Flossy: What's with all this 'he'? Chickens are female!
:)
If she wants to cross the road, she'll dam well do it! :D
hehe right on Flossy
Why did the Duck cross the road? He was nailed to the chicken.