Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: Fox29 on November 17, 2000, 02:36:00 AM
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To all our indecisive friends south of the 49th. Eh" (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, PM
for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A
questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the
same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you
know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is > a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The
Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
Thank you for your cooperation.
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LOL
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LOL Nash (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
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The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football.
And how can you have a 'World Series' of baseball which is limited to US teams only? (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
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<cough> Toronto made it a World Series well sorta ok then North American series.
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sounds fine with me so long as.... We don't have to drive on the wrong side of the road.... embrace (LOL) socialism... Give up our guns.... Learn to talk funny.... Watch British TV.... Colapse our economy to UK levels... Embrace (LOL) "kings and queens".... Pay 10 times more for the same things (oops covered that).... Use lucas electrics.... Eat British food... Remove 2/3 of our roads and narrow the remainder by at least 60%.... Or...Have the new government have any say whatsoever in my life...
Other than that... sure.
lazs
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Originally posted by -lazs-:
....sounds fine with me so long as.... We don't have to ... Use lucas electrics....
lazs
<fish, as a former MG owner, starts shaking and twitching uncontrollably at the mention of the 'L' word and goes into fetal position>
(http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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stupid brits <sets back in lazy boy with sks in one hand and big cigar in other>
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Don't worry Joe, the Brit's aren't that stupid to actually want to issue the notice! (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
Nexx
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Originally posted by Replicant:
Don't worry Joe, the Brit's aren't that stupid to actually want to issue the notice! (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
Nexx
And if they did, we'd have to kick their prettythang again back across the Atlantic (like in the 1700's, and again 1812-1815) (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
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Originally posted by Fox29:
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
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You'll get my toothbrush when you pry it out of my cold dead hands. (http://smilecwm.tripod.com/cwm2/rcain.gif)
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LJK_Raubvogel
LuftJägerKorps (http://www.luftjagerkorps.com)
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GAWD I love that smiley LJK, just cracks me up! (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
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Originally posted by Ripsnort:
And if they did, we'd have to kick their prettythang again back across the Atlantic (like in the 1700's, and again 1812-1815) (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
Yep, the British and other colonials in America revolted against King George III (though those in Florida are still thinking) and then decided to be called American's. 2000 years+ history Britain has eh?!
As for 1812-1815, I wasn't aware that the Peninsula War spread to America? Martinque, Bermuda, Jamaca etc, yeah... but America??
Nexx
[This message has been edited by Replicant (edited 11-17-2000).]
[This message has been edited by Replicant (edited 11-17-2000).]
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fish, I have banished the "prince of darkness" from my '55 Healey by converting to a GM wiring harness.... I also banished Austin by conveting to 327 chevy and muncie 4speed/chevy rear. All the body stuff is British tho. nice lines.
Nope... I'm keeping my handguns and my toothbrush and my mini 14 and my mortar and my thompson and...
lazs
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Well, anything would be be better than that lying b**tard Gore. Gonna be a long four years lying in bed every night wondering who he is selling our nuclear secrets to this time... 'Course, all we have to do is watch who is sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom, eh?
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hi all:
how about Ostin Power's for Minister of America
LOL
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wolf37
C.O.
THUNDER BIRDS
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Now if they could only raise a cricket team......
Swoop
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Don't know what your crickets are like but American ones are darn hard to train.
lazs