Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: ravells on June 09, 2004, 04:44:26 AM

Title: Pet Diaries
Post by: ravells on June 09, 2004, 04:44:26 AM
This gave me a laugh.

ravs

PET DIARIES UNCOVERED
 
As seen in a dog's diary:
 
8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
 
 
As seen in a cat's diary:
 
Day 183 of my captivity...
 
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
 
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
 
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture.
 
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
 
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.
 
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed.
 
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmm, not working according to plan.
 
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.  
 
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
 
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
 
The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
Title: Pet Diaries
Post by: CyranoAH on June 09, 2004, 05:41:09 AM
Oldie but Goodie :)
Title: Pet Diaries
Post by: Saintaw on June 09, 2004, 07:21:08 AM
:lol
Title: Pet Diaries
Post by: xrtoronto on June 09, 2004, 12:18:46 PM
sounds like that cat needed more excitement? ... maybe a ride in the dryer?:)
Title: Pet Diaries
Post by: Dago on June 09, 2004, 12:45:18 PM
The cats diary reminds me of Stewie from The Family Guy.


dago
Title: Pet Diaries
Post by: Hawklore on June 09, 2004, 12:50:26 PM
Hehe.. :lol
Title: Pet Diaries
Post by: Furball on June 09, 2004, 01:26:00 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Dago
The cats diary reminds me of Stewie from The Family Guy.


dago


lol was thinking exact same.