Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: beet1e on June 28, 2004, 04:22:10 AM
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Are you married to a "headache wife", and have you ever wondered what to do about it? :aok
I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realising that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we?d just buy them all! She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, lets go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurt out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT??!!!"
I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs flyover a frozen hell while monkeys fly out her bum.
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LOL!!! :rofl
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:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :lol :lol :rofl
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HAHAHAHAHAHA :rofl
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:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :aok :D :D
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I don't get it? You guys are doing something wrong or you don't have the proper tools for the job at hand.
very telling post and responses from the girlymen.
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Storch, your hand cannot respond... maybe that's why you don't understand :)
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Originally posted by Saintaw
Storch, your hand cannot respond... maybe that's why you don't understand :)
Somehow something must be getting lost in the translation.
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I will spell it slowly:
Storch's proper tools: his hand
Hands cannot talk
Geeez... It's monday alright.
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Originally posted by Saintaw
I will spell it slowly:
Storch's proper tools: his hand
Hands cannot talk
Geeez... It's monday alright.
The job at hand= sex with his wife. The tool=his manhood, or in the case of the liberal girlymen the lack thereof. I don't understand because my wife never has headaches she's usually qiute ready to go and many times instigates sex. liberals have these problems of wives having headaches or whatever or so it would seem.
now go back and finish your baguette. look around and see that you don't forget your beret.
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Originally posted by storch
my wife never has headaches she's usually qiute ready to go and many times instigates sex.
Blow-up dolls and audio hallucinations don't qualify as human beings.
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Storch, you just can't let an opportunity pass you by LOL. :D
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Storch blusters, "I have a really big dick, really I do! And I can completely sexually satisfy women, unlike you guys! Really it's true...you...you girlymen! Not me though, I'm a really like manly men honest! I...I mean I am a man!"
Why do you struggle so hard to look like a total retard?
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Originally posted by Thrawn
Storch blusters, "I have a really big dick, really I do! And I can completely sexually satisfy women, unlike you guys! Really it's true...you...you girlymen! Not me though, I'm a really like manly men honest! I...I mean I am a man!"
Why do you struggle so hard to look like a total retard?
What makes you think it's a struggle?
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Originally posted by midnight Target
What makes you think it's a struggle?
:rofl
Effortless.
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who are the ones moaning because their wives have "headaches"? bark away liberal doggies this caravan marches inexorably on, laughing at your posts every step of the way. you guys are a hoot.
Thrawn, let me explain this to you perhaps it will help your domestic partner be less "headache prone". Your sex organ is between your ears. That's why you moron liberals "come up short". chew on that while, ask for help if you need an explaination.
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"and many times instigates sex. "
that is code for "tries to escape"
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Originally posted by Pongo
"and many times instigates sex. "
that is code for "tries to escape"
:lol
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Originally posted by Pongo
"and many times instigates sex. "
that is code for "tries to escape"
:lol :rofl
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Hmmmmmmmmm..........
Prostitute? Isn't having to pay for it in some form like Prostitution? So is this a situation where a guy finds himself married to a prostitute? Just wondering.
Hmmmmmmmmm..........
Would it actually be cheaper to go see and use a prostitute? Err well hmm maybe not in the long run. Diseases and such I guess.
Have been wondering about this type of relationship for a long time now.
Marriage and relationships seem to be becoming the domain of the female more and more. They seem to say whats what in the relationship. They and their men seem to create some kind of barter system for sex and favors. They choose to divorce and they take everything they can when they leave. So why marry? For the sex? Prostitution? Even our legal system seems to promote this?
Something just doesn't seem right about relationships anymore. Then perhaps that is the way many relationships have been from the begining?
Perhaps avoiding the barter system and the females that insist upon it is a better course of action?
Perhaps a great deal of thought and consideration needs to be takin in the choosing of a mate? Perhaps a better approach to this is.... if you both don't enjoy sex with one another then you should not marry or have a relationship? But should go and seek out someone more compatable? Learn techniques for pleasing your partner?
Hmmmmm....
Kinda hard (LOL) to do when the little head is clammering so much for attention. A case of a body part betraying the rest of the body?
Answers? Are there any?
The human body seems to create substances that can not be found anywhere esle in nature. Science and Docters are even in this day and age still discovering them. These substances are called hormone's. Science just recently discovered that the male creates a hormone within his seamen that actually acts upon the female and gives here energy/spunk? Females do not produce this hormone.
There is probably a hormone created by the female that the male can't create as well. Wonder when they'll find it.
Question:
How do ya make a hormone?
Answer?
Don't PAY her..............
OK OK bad lol
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Originally posted by storch
who are the ones moaning because their wives have "headaches"? bark away liberal doggies this caravan marches inexorably on, laughing at your posts every step of the way. you guys are a hoot.
Thrawn, let me explain this to you perhaps it will help your domestic partner be less "headache prone". Your sex organ is between your ears. That's why you moron liberals "come up short". chew on that while, ask for help if you need an explaination.
You have sex using your nose? Is that why you call yourself storch?
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As far as Im concerned youre all ****ing morons for signing the marraige papers.
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Ooo I see, we're getting personal he?
You won't taste my "bagette" Storch, sorry to dissapoint you. Maybe the guy in the other trailer park nexdoor can help you out.
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Originally posted by storch
Thrawn, let me explain this to you perhaps it will help your domestic partner be less "headache prone". Your sex organ is between your ears.
Always thought you were a d1ckh3ad, Storch!
Sorry! Couldn't resist! ;)
RAvs
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The way some of you bite the same rusty hook with the same chopped in half to save some bait for later worm on it, I'm beginning to question my evolutionist theories.
:rofl
Storch, yer gonna need a commercial license soon!
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Originally posted by Red Tail 444
Blow-up dolls and audio hallucinations don't qualify as human beings.
now that made me laugh....and spit my pepsi all over the damn screen:D
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Originally posted by VOR
The way some of you bite the same rusty hook with the same chopped in half to save some bait for later worm on it, I'm beginning to question my evolutionist theories.
:rofl
Storch, yer gonna need a commercial license soon!
Shhhh
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This thread went downhill in a hurry. My wife thought it was funny Beet1e. :aok
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Originally posted by Saurdaukar
As far as Im concerned youre all ****ing morons for signing the marraige papers.
WOW finally some real common sense.
Just out of curiosity storch....you are married right? If so do you have any kids and how many?
WANTED: Nymphomaniac that owns a bar or a liqure store!
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Originally posted by Gunslinger
WOW finally some real common sense.
Just out of curiosity storch....you are married right? If so do you have any kids and how many?
WANTED: Nymphomaniac that owns a bar or a liqure store!
yes married 27 years three kids living one dead.
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Originally posted by storch
yes married 27 years three kids living one dead.
well if what you say is true you are either A) doing somthing right that 60% of all Americans dont get or B) you dont have an American wife.
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Not sure about that, Gunslinger...never married an American but have had a couple of American girlfriends in my time, and they were lovely...not 'ball breakers' at all.
maybe you just met the wrong ones?
Ravs
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Originally posted by ravells
Not sure about that, Gunslinger...never married an American but have had a couple of American girlfriends in my time, and they were lovely...not 'ball breakers' at all.
maybe you just met the wrong ones?
Ravs
No, he's right. American girls are AWESOME until they get hitched.
European women are far, far, faaaaar better in most "relationship/sex/personality" aspects. They have yet to be soiled by any sort of bull**** "feminist" movement. They're still ok about being women.
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I tired to get my wife to read "the proper caring and feeding of men" by Dr. Laura and she flat out refused to.
I guess she's just not sensative to my needs as a man.
Truth be told I've read SEVERAL books at her request even if I was repulsed by them.
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Originally posted by Gunslinger
I tired to get my wife to read "the proper caring and feeding of men" by Dr. Laura and she flat out refused to.
I guess she's just not sensative to my needs as a man.
Truth be told I've read SEVERAL books at her request even if I was repulsed by them.
You asked her to read a book by THAT title!?!?! SEXIST!!!
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Originally posted by Gunslinger
well if what you say is true you are either A) doing somthing right that 60% of all Americans dont get or B) you dont have an American wife.
Actually the Non American is me, as it were. I'm a naturalized Citizen of the United States native of Cuba. She is an Iberocelt from New Jersey. Why would I lie? She was a fine looking woman when we started dating in 1975 and to me she still is today. More importantly she is even finer on the inside. She's kind and has a pleasant demeanor with a ready smile for all. I'm the grumpy one at times. After we became pregnant with our first child in 1979 she became a fulltime mom and I went out and did whatever it took to provide for the family. Isn't that what everyone else does? while I might make mysogynistic comments here I actually like women and enjoy their company. Facial expression is such an important component in communication. Here you don't see my face. I still make her laugh at things and she, me. You can say just about anything to anyone provided you say it smiling or you are willing to physically back up what you say. There is no history of divorce on either her or my sides of the family. For my part I stood before everyone I knew and cared for and more importantly before God and took a solemn vow, why would I not honor that? I have never quit anything of significance in my life. Neither has she. With those components in place any relationship is sustainable. In short she's my best friend and I'm pretty sure she would say the same about me.
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Originally posted by storch
...More importantly she is even finer on the inside...
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." Groucho Marx
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Sadly Storch you have an unusual relationship in that the normal type relationship is far more like what others are saying in this thread.
to both you and your wife :)
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Originally posted by wrag
Sadly Storch you have an unusual relationship in that the normal type relationship is far more like what others are saying in this thread.
to both you and your wife :)
Christ almighty, do ANY of you mother****ers realize this thread was a joke? It's like getting lost in the funhouse with some of you nincompoops .....hehe...
SLO sorry about the pepsi...:lol
PS My fiance's czech...and she flies corsairs, too :)