Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Nash on July 01, 2004, 10:20:09 PM
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Hhm... probably too many to choose from... but this one comes to mind.
When I was a kid I got into a fight with another neighborhood kid and ended up pinning him down. I let this long string of gob dangle from my mouth, just kinda scaring him that I would let it drop. Then I lost control, it dropped, he screamed and it went right into his mouth.
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The Bronco
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when i was about 8 years old, a boy named Hugo Gladwin and I put a few drawing pins (the kind you use for tacking paper to walls) on my teachers chair in the dinner room.
he sat down and jumped up again within the same second and shouted 'F**K' at the top of his voice in front of the whole school of 250 boys and the head master and his wife.
we would have got away with it too if he hadnt asked
"who did that!?"
sitting right next to his chair at the end of the table, two now very scared boys pointed directly at each other and said
"he did it, not me"
suffice to say we both got severely punished.
edit: oh! and i once took a pee in someone's grand piano at a house party when i was too drunk to know better :lol
and then there was that time i beat an old lady up and stole her handbag to pay for my AH subscription......... but thats another story :lol
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So many options... I actually feel bad about alot of the stuff I did.
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Spill it Saur!
and Funked... I laffed when I read yours. No idea what a Bronco is, and I was about to ask, but I didn't want to wreck the poetic simplicity of it by actually finding out. Okay what is the Bronco?
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I think we had a thread like this before. I tried to hurt a guy on purpose once in a (league) football game and (to my surprise) I knocked him out of the game. He was squealing like a pig and I felt awful.
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In high school this kid one day tried to trip me whenever he saw me in the hallway, he didn't succeed. I this idiot squatting down getting a book from in back of his locker, we had the narrow lockers, as well. Well, I hip-checked the donut and his skull became stuck within the locker. The screams made me laugh, after taunting him more, I left him there. The next day, I noticed 6 lockers that were not red like the others, these were grey (primer). I also noticed burn marks from a welder, on the edges. Needless he never tried it again, nor messed with me.
I also remember at Adrian College emptying salt shakers and filling them with milk, or merely unscrewing the cap (I always made sure, mine were Kool in the gang). Especially on steak nights. Out of habit, I still piss the wife off by checking salt shakers on our table at restaurants.
Karaya
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Statute of limitations not expired.
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Nash's one is pretty good.
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BTW Funked, you see the NASCAR Infinion race. Those guys can drive, even on normal road circuits. They drive the watermelon out of their cars. Big Ovals dont do a driver justice by showing the skillz.
In my opinion, alot of the NASCAR guys can drive better than alot of the Sports Car guys.
;)
NASCAR still sucks, jk. :D
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I was beat up a few times by the neighborhood bully when I was about 7...one day I was playing in the park next door to my house and he came over and I asked if he wanted something to drink...I went in the house, scooped up a glassfull of toilet water and gave it to him...never felt better.
In 8th grade I got suckerpunched, broke my nose...I waited until my senior year and broke his leg when I "slipped" and threw myself into his car door while he was kicked back listening to his walkman after football practice...missed the entire football and track season his senior year, still walks with a limp...
Sucker still thinks it was an accident :lol
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Originally posted by senna
BTW Funked, you see the NASCAR Infinion race. Those guys can drive, even on normal road circuits. They drive the watermelon out of their cars. Big Ovals dont do a driver justice by showing the skillz.
In my opinion, alot of the NASCAR guys can drive better than alot of the Sports Car guys.
;)
NASCAR still sucks, jk. :D
Yep most of those guys would be good in any type of car.
It's like having the Iron Chef working at McDonald's though.
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The elementary school nearest home was overcrowded and the Cuban kids were diverted to a school in Overtown. Arguably the most violent Black community in Dade County even today. As I was walking to school alone I was detained by 3 neighborhood boys who beat me up pretty good and took my lunch money. The next day I told my mom that I wanted a lunch pail because the food at that school was bad. Armed with my lunch pail I got hits on all three the next day but I beat one kid who I managed to get a hold of senseless. I then chased the other two but was unable to catch them. Afterwards I felt really bad. He had very ugly scars on his forehead and his nose was broken. I never had any more problems with the Black kids at that school for the next two years though.
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Alot of the "Evil" things I've done I cant post here:D
But the things I can say most were in the form of revenge.
the only "Evil" thing I've done that I can remember offhand is when I was a kid and home sick from school I took a bunch of cord and "Hung" every one my sisters dolls all over her room.
She Freaked.
Other things. also when I was a kid.
Was sitting in class minding my own buisness when this kid suddenly came up to me grabbed my hair and gave me a massive head butt.
Now if you knew me you would know that pain only tends to engrage me.
Well the next thing I know I have this kid hanging out the 3rd story window wth half the class grabbing at me..and him to try to keep me from dropping him.
He never ever came within arms reach of me again.
Another time a neighborhood bully. a fw years older then us chased my cousin and me up a tree Where we stayed for quite some time. Him just waiting for us to come down.
Well eventually nature called and we had to go.
so we did. All over him.
I will never ever forget the look on his face when we did that..priceless.
He caught up with me several days later and kicked the crap outa me. But it was worth it.
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just funny inocuous ones?
couple years ago a drunken friend of mine kept bothering me while I was building a fence... I had a dog at the time and he ahd left doggy mines here and there. Told the guy if he didn't shut up I was gonna rub his face in a pile of it. He didn't shut up so I found one of them piles with the white stuff growing on it and rubbed his face in it .... little chunks kept falling off as he was screaming at me while backing away.
lazs
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Well it starts like this. This just happened in March:
I got up early and left the house quickly, so I'm heading out to look at houses for sale.
I grab a cup of coffee and I'm driving. I look at a few and I'm starting to feel the coffee take effect.
I pull up to a house and I don't see anyone there. I decide to leave and then the urge hits me strong. Right there my butt checks clinch up tighter then a mummy’s tome.
I go back to the door, this time I notice it's open a bit. So I knock, once, twice, three times no answer. I push the door open a bit and call out "ANY ONE HERE" again no answer. I notice a business card on the table, real estate office of some kind. I figure hell I’m going in.
I run to the toilet and drop my pants and barely get sited and BOOM it comes out like a GD mud slid; it hits the side of the bowl. One of these low fluid bowls, a little water on the bottom. I get up and wipe, look down and see this mud slide on the side of the bowl, I say screw it I gone. I left that place with the stink of a dead animal and bowl full. As I pull out of the driveway I notice a sign, OPEN HOUSE 1:00 PM. I look at my watch its 12:15.
I wish I saw the look on the agents face when they found that mess waiting for them.
They must have thought the owners left it. :rofl :rofl :rofl
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Originally posted by JBA
Well it starts like this. This just happened in March:
I got up early and left the house quickly, so I'm heading out to look at houses for sale.
I grab a cup of coffee and I'm driving. I look at a few and I'm starting to feel the coffee take effect.
I pull up to a house and I don't see anyone there. I decide to leave and then the urge hits me strong. Right there my butt checks clinch up tighter then a mummy’s tome.
I go back to the door, this time I notice it's open a bit. So I knock, once, twice, three times no answer. I push the door open a bit and call out "ANY ONE HERE" again no answer. I notice a business card on the table, real estate office of some kind. I figure hell I’m going in.
I run to the toilet and drop my pants and barely get sited and BOOM it comes out like a GD mud slid; it hits the side of the bowl. One of these low fluid bowls, a little water on the bottom. I get up and wipe, look down and see this mud slide on the side of the bowl, I say screw it I gone. I left that place with the stink of a dead animal and bowl full. As I pull out of the driveway I notice a sign, OPEN HOUSE 1:00 PM. I look at my watch its 12:15.
I wish I saw the look on the agents face when they found that mess waiting for them.
They must have thought the owners left it. :rofl :rofl :rofl
Nothing more refreshing than a good, ol' fashioned "Shotgun Chit".
Karaya
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Spotted a guy growing pot on his back porch once... 20 years or more ago. We decided a "commando raid" was needed. Actually dressed in black, and did the sneak thing. I still feel bad about that.
It was pretty good stuff too.
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The upper deck.
Never did it do anyone though.
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I had 3 chinese mates when I was a kid in Kuala Lumpur. They lived near a 'kampung' which is a primitive villiage. One of my mates got chased by this guy with an axe once (we were throwing stones at the villiage kids and they were responding in kind and we hit this guy chopping wood by accident).
Anyway, we found out where he lived and once a year, a few days after Chinese New Year we would plant fireworks around his shack, pointing at his front door and windows and use mosquito coil as a timed fuse. We would then go home and watch the fun from the top of my friends' house.
One year he caught us red handed as we were planting the fireworks. I've never run so fast in my life.
Ravs.
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While overseas last summer one of the "slower" guys was complaining about mail from the states taking so long to get to us. To cheer him up, I convinced him it was actually two months earlier in the US due to the international date line, so plenty of mail was assuredly on the way to him. He looked at me sideways for a few minutes but my poker face, being the stuff of local legend, held up and he was convinced. Found out later the guy's mom drank alot when she was preggers with him.
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Married her
But she got even
She cleaned me out in the divorce :)
NwBie
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Once when I was fishing at a dam,I was waiting to squeeze into a good casting spot but some chinese guy and his son(my age..16) wouldn't let me near the edge cause they were catchin all the fish...When I noticed that they were way over the limit of two per person(they have about 15 trouts in their bucket) I told them to let someone else have a turn as they were hoggin all the fish(and breaking the law)..
He said something nasty to me and I returned the insult...Then after I snagged his fishing line trying to cast,he whipped his rod back and snagged my shirt with his treble hook("Two can play at that game!!")..he said.
Well,after I removed his lure from my sleeve...I walked over,grabbed his bucket of fish and threw it in the water...He lost it,grabbed me into a headlock and painfully pinned me down on the gravel...I started crying and he let me go.
I grabbed my stuff and left looking for the Park Ranger when my buddy noticed the extrahunk's car parked with the top down(I beleive it was a Caddilac convertible)...We made a trip to the snack bar and stole 4 squeeze bottles of ketchup and mustard and emptied them on the seats,dash,radio etc and let the baking hot sun finish the job.
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I mentioned this before in a revenge thread, but I used to jerk off in my room mates hair conditioner.
God I hated that guy.
-Sik
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Originally posted by Sikboy
I mentioned this before in a revenge thread, but I used to jerk off in my room mates hair conditioner.
God I hated that guy.
-Sik
:eek:
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Set up a rendevouz at a hotel with a real good looking cheerleader I screwed around with in high school. This was several years later. She called me out of the blue saying she was in a nearby town visiting relatives, basically let it be known she wanted a sperm donor, and asked me if I wanted to drive over and pick her up. I said sure, drove over, checked into a motel 6, and went to pick her up.
Then the other shoe dropped. Turns out the hard bodied hottie had spent most of her post-high school years eating pork rinds and ice cream. She had put on at least 75 pounds. I wound up taking her back to the motel room, hoping for some sort of inspiration as to how I could get myself out of porking this beanbag. I wound up telling her that I needed some ice water, grabbed the ice bucket, and ran for the door. I never looked back. I have no idea how long she stayed in that hotel room or how she got home.
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There was a guy in the dorms we really hated.
One night we all urinated into a bucket, then a friend added some... solids. Later that night we leaned the bucket carefully against the guy's door and slid a firecracker on a cigarette fuse under the door.
We all ran to our respective rooms and waited. The cussing was excellent and it was interspersed with puking. All around a really crappy thing to do to a fellow human.
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in college a dude got drunk and passed out in the dorm we were staying at.
up on the upper bunk we took turns dropping little globs of spit onto his face to watch him swat at them.
that was after the entire can of shaving cream down his pants and inside his shirt, and after the raw hot dog shoved down the back of his pants.
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Originally posted by Nash
Spill it Saur!
and Funked... I laffed when I read yours. No idea what a Bronco is, and I was about to ask, but I didn't want to wreck the poetic simplicity of it by actually finding out. Okay what is the Bronco?
check out this site:
http://www.rotten.com/library/***/rolodex-of-love/
replace *** with the normal word for intercourse
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The ole fart in bed and pull the covers over the wife's head. Poor thing, she lost her sense of smell after that.
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When I was younger my sister and I had the monsterous fights. one year I ate all her birthday cake so she brained me with a frying pan. Later I waited till the weekend when she came home drunk. I had put celophane over the toilet seat rim under the seat. When she set her dainty arse down and started to go well......it went ALL over her and being drunk she couldnt stop!
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LOL... gotta remember that one...
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When i was in school my only friend at the time was like 6ft tall (she was amazingly tall) with like really pretty long blondish hair...
anyway we're talking on the bus on the way home from school and she keeps *****ing at me about something..and rubbing it in and rubbing it in..
I was on the outside of the seat and we're near the back so when I got up I took a step backward and let her lead...
after she got up and was standing in line in front of me waiting to get off the bus I pulled my lighter out of my pocket and set her hair on fire.
it went up really quick just a chunk of it burned and then went out and since we were walking forward at the time she didn't smell it and had no idea she had a chunk missing.
I just walked home like normal from there she never mentioned it.
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When I was a kid. I got in a fight with the street bully. Days later caught him out near the creek at the bottom of the hill. Took a man hole cover and rolled it into him. Needless to say he never messed with us again.
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My biggest regret and dumbest thing I ever did that haunts me to this day is. March 1967 my oldest brother calls home from viet nam where he's a AF pilot. He says hi to everyone on the phone I get my turn and i made this statement " Richie how many gooks have you killed" He never says a word to me just hangs up. He is shot out of the sky April 1st 1967 and dies. I still get upset When I remember my last words to him. Richard william Stanley was my oldest brother.
Rodney L. Stanley aka Rod367th or MWROD
many other things i wish i could get a mulliagan for but this hurts most....................
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Had a good one, dont feel like posting it now. Sorry about your brother Rod.