Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: xrtoronto on July 16, 2004, 12:24:34 PM
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Why Hookers Love Republicans
At the GOP Convention, where scores of sex pros gear up to party with "moral" :rolleyes: conservatives
"BoBo? It's Syndee. You ready, girl? The convention starts in an hour, and the senators are salivating!"
"Hi, Syn! Almost ready! Just finishing my makeup. Hey, which outfit you think I should wear tonight? My red, white, and blue glitter spandex halter with the peekaboo panties, or the red vinyl skirt with the Velcro tear-away crotch and the big picture of the M-1 tank on the butt?"
"Oooh, I'd go with the tank, Bo. This is the GOP convention, girl! These Republicans love their war, you know? It's all about big phallic missiles and manly howitzers and 'weapons of bellybutton destruction.' Be sure to use that line, too -- they eat that stuff up. Hurry up! The cab's waiting!"
"Howitz-what? Hang on one more minute, Syn -- I wanna look my best. After all, I hear we got a lot of competition this week."
"Bo, there's so many strippers and hookers in town to play 'hide the WMD' with these conservatives, it would make Larry Flynt proud. They flew in from London, Seattle, L.A., all over, just for this, because demand is so high."
"Wow! Wait wait wait, I'm confused. Aren't the Republicans supposed to be the 'moral,' sex-hating, anti-women, Bible-quoting ones? I don't get it."
"Worst-kept secret in all of politics, Bo. It's a fact: Demand for sex workers is at an all-time high when the GOP convention's in town. Hell, there was even a New York Daily News article about it a while back. These Repubs are such a desperately horny, repressed bunch, they just can't get enough of paying for 'amoral' sex. So ironic. If Middle America only knew how this group is so fulla perverts and horndogs, they'd have a fit."
"I bet they already know, and just don't wanna 'fess up to it? I mean, I even heard that little Johnny Ashcroft has a secret fetish for tequila and handcuffs."
"So true! It's funny, people think the GOP convention must be all about square dancing and white-wine spritzers and bow ties and wistful Reaganomics. Ha! Remember, BoBo, this is the party of guns and corporate money and repressed homosexuality and big oil, misogyny and Xanax addictions and war war war. These GOP boys have some good issues. Deep-seated anxieties and fears and the most extensive secret gay-porn collections you've ever seen! Cut these boys loose among their own and it's like putting a priest in a schoolyard."
"Mysog-what? Wow, you sure know a lot, Syn! Are you, like, psychic or something?"
"Girl, I've seen enough Repubs sneak out on their wives to make Jerry Falwell quiver. Working this convention is like giving candy to starving children. Plus, I was a speechwriter for Bush the Elder back in '92. I worked the convention floor as a delegate."
"What? You? No way! You mean to say you wasn't always in the sex biz? You was one of these weird GOP people? What happened?"
"Simple, Bo. I realized I'd make a helluva lot more money sucking terrified corporate GOP donors than I ever would sucking their party's hateful, anti-everything policy. What, you think there's really a difference between sellin' yourself for sex and sellin' yourself for some conservative senator's store-bought hypocritical stance on gun control? In this game, Bo, we're all potatos for a cause. We're all gettin' screwed. I'm just turning the tables."
"Damn, Syn. Now you're depressing me. And I'm still confused. You tellin' me these Republicans, they ain't got high values? It's all a bulls-- game? They don't really believe in anything?"
"Oh, they believe, all right. It's what they believe in that's the scary part. Most of these johns long ago sacrificed their creativity, their sexuality, their individual identities for some vaguely totalitarian, self-flagellating thing they think gives their lives meaning and virtue, when it actually does the exact opposite. Sorta like born-again Christians, but with a lot more alcoholism and nightmares about flesh-eating leeches."
"OK, that is just so, like, gross."
"Remember, Bo, when the Catholic Church flew us to Boston to go work that priests' conference? And they told us to dress up as nuns so the media wouldn't catch on? Remember that desperate look in the eyes of those sad, lost pastors as they gave us "communion"? Same thing here, except these boys pay cash. Lots of cash. Funny thing about repression and guilt: It makes you a great tipper."
"Are they really all that bad? I mean, I always sorta liked that Bill O'Reilly guy on TV. Isn't he all conservative? Gettin' all red-faced and frothy about gays and liberals, while you just know he's got a thing for ball gags and latex."
"Got that right, Bo. All's I'm sayin' is, there may be a lot of "escorts" here this week, but demand is so high you won't be hurtin' for business. And don't worry about looking all that spectacular, neither. These boys haven't seen much by way of hot sex since they logged off AOL's Hot Lonely Teens chat room at RNC HQ. They're so desperate for nookie, they'll giggle like schoolgirls if you let them see your thigh."
"Don't sound all that different than those other ones, the Democrats, right? I heard they're just as lonely and horny. And uptight."
"True, but at least they can still look you in the eye when they pay you. Sad thing is, the Dems ain't been the same since Clinton left. They used to have it so together. I mean, how great was it to have a president who was so appreciative of the female form, so unashamed of having an active libido? Sure, he was a little sleazy about it, but, damn, I'd take that in a heartbeat over these dead-fish Viagra-poppin' GOP hypocrites, thumping their Bibles with one hand while the other is sliding up my skirt."
"Ha! You nailed it, Syn. Hell, the best customer I ever had was some guy who claimed he was a Clinton adviser. Man, could that guy work the Hitachi. Said he learned it all from playing poker with Bill. Or was it Hillary?"
"That reminds me: Remember what I told you about these Repubs, BoBo. Never, ever use their real names, or look 'em straight in the eye. Makes 'em all jumpy. Just pretend you don't know they're Paul Wolfowitz, or whatever.
"Paul Wolfo-who?
"Wolfowitz. Deputy defense guy. Very slimy."
"Wolfo ... yuck. Sounds like some sort of mangy dog."
"Oh, trust me, he is. Three little words about what he likes: cold, cooked spaghetti. And one guess as to where."
"Ewww!"
"You got the notes I gave you?"
"Yep, right here: Mr. DeLay likes to be called "Thumper," Mr. Lott loves it if you pretend to be a naughty 13-year-old Amish girl, Mr. Santorum loves to be tied up and spanked with a dead salmon and they all love it if you pretend to be Hillary Clinton and carry a whip."
"You got it. And don't forget Lynne Cheney and her lesbian-fantasy thing. She'll pay extra."
"Martha Stewart wig, check."
"I'm tellin' ya, you can never go wrong with the gay-fantasy thing for these people. For the men, just dress up as a schoolboy or a Greek towel boy and sit on their lap and whisper about how you really, really love the feel of the Patriot Act rubbed up against your cheeks. They'll melt in your hand."
"Schoolboy uniform, check."
"You about ready now? Damn, that tank miniskirt looks hot, Bo! You're gonna have to peel 'em off you."
"And check this out! Little American flags painted over my nipples! Wolfo-whateverhisnameis can count the stripes!
"Perfect! I love it! Raise the flag and see who salutes, girl! Let's roll!"
source (http://sfgate.com/columnists/morford/)
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"Yep, right here: Mr. DeLay likes to be called "Thumper," Mr. Lott loves it if you pretend to be a naughty 13-year-old Amish girl, Mr. Santorum loves to be tied up and spanked with a dead salmon and they all love it if you pretend to be Hillary Clinton and carry a whip."
Hillary's Hubby is the Vat or the Kettle?
Karaya
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source = sfgate.com
LOL good one
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Someone make a documentary!!
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I believe xtoronto is a member of ...
"Socialst canadians with no life for kerrie"
xtoronto hates republican Americans... hookers like em..
gotta go with the hookers on this one.
lazs
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I figured they would be called "Escorts". The term Hooker is so vile and non-pc. Wait this was posted by a Canadien. :)
Karaya
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he is canadian and by proxy, a socialist. It doesn't matter if he fails in life.
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toronto has been officially labelled now.
Bad naughty evil wicked Canadian....a spanking is in order!
"A spanking!! A spanking!!"
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lol@curval
ps: if you and the family are planning a trip to TO the Taste of the Danforth August 6-8 might be a good time?
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if he wore pink shorts or had moore in his avatar he would be part of the splinter group....
"Gay Socialist canadians with no life for kerrie"
or if he was into "spankings" he might also join...
"Gay S & M Socialist canadians with no life for kerrie."
All this interest in a foreign countries politics might seem odd to us Americans but... we have to realize.. there is no politics worth talking about in some countries.
lazs
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Originally posted by lazs2
if he wore pink shorts or had moore in his avatar he would be part of the splinter group....
lazs
Hey,I'd rather have a tattoo of Moore on my left arm than one of Adolf on my right.
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Originally posted by xrtoronto
lol@curval
ps: if you and the family are planning a trip to TO the Taste of the Danforth August 6-8 might be a good time?
Good old Greek food. Enjoy it. I "could" be there...if I do go up I'll let you know.
lazs...lol
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Then you would probly belong to....
"Confused Gay Socialist S & M canadians with no life for kerrie."
which would help to explain certain squadmates of yours that need not be mentioned here...
lazs
"Hey,I'd rather have a tattoo of Moore on my left arm than one of Adolf on my right.
__________________
RCAF - No. 418 "The Hornets"
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Reminds me of the old saying: "Always go fishing with 2 Baptists. If you just bring one he will drink all your beer."
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Laz,
Man, I know you have got a thick skin, but you had to know people like Lion are never going to let the Tatoo thing go, they are going to bring it up in every thread they do not like that you post in.
Gues only good libs can grow out of bad beliefs in their eyes.
Pretty classless of them if you ask me.
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(http://www.christithomas.com/images/troll.jpg)
(http://www.petsignsplus.com/1fantasyxgif/troll.gif)
(http://www.petebevin.com/troll/trollsm.jpg)
(http://www.saunalahti.fi/sakarit/kerro-lisaa/troll.jpg)
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gto... Do ya think that was maybe meant to be some kinda put down on my tats?
no kiddin?
I'll be darned. Oh well... I make no bones or excuses and have not the least bit of sensitivity about it. Thick skin has nothing to do with it. I'm the one who brought it up in the first place...
lazs
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Originally posted by xrtoronto
Why Hookers Love Republicans....
Wow... And here I thought it was because hookers prefered cash to foodstamps.
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Oh I know... hehe
But yeah that was an attempt by him to put you down.
I think he is trying to imply your still a Nazi.
Libs and losers and I think he fits both like to call people they do not agree with or like things like Nazi, Racist, and facist ETC. It shows their tolerance for others.
I am sure he will keep doing it.
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Originally posted by GtoRA2
Oh I know... hehe
But yeah that was an attempt by him to put you down.
I think he is trying to imply your still a Nazi.
lol
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lol...
GTO gets the prize for best post of the day.
:aok
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hmm... and here I thought he was just confused..
is the moore tattoo recent?
lazs
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I was under the impression that all the hookers were attracted to both conventions because of all the media types with nothing else to do but drink and fornicate.
Laz IS a nazi, but only about 6 views, SFAIK.
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just ignore xtoronto...his hatred of conservatives comes from the terrible mess the last several conservative pm's we had made...and still sore about the liberal minority in the last election...
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LMFAO...FOOD stamps..nice 1 GTO..
btw ..Canada....."there always there when they need us"
Like Ice Cube said...toronto..."Get off our Jock and tell you beeeach to come here"
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Originally posted by GreenCloud
LMFAO...FOOD stamps..nice 1 GTO..
btw ..Canada....."there always there when they need us"
Like Ice Cube said...toronto..."Get off our Jock and tell you beeeach to come here"
Ahem, the foodstamp comment was mine.
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Capt. Pork
LOL yes it was and what a line it was!
:D
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Originally posted by Curval
Good old Greek food. Enjoy it. I "could" be there...if I do go up I'll let you know.
lazs...lol
Geeze Curval, how did you know the Danforth was Greekville?
I did have an extra ticket to the Indy and was gonna ask XrTO if he wanted to come, but then i thought he'd spend the whole day going off on a diatribe about his old foresaken homeland, i was more into cars and titties.
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so sirloin... are you saying that you are happy with your moore tattoo or that you wish you would have gotten it instead of the hitler one?
lazs
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:D
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Originally posted by Torque
Geeze Curval, how did you know the Danforth was Greekville?
I lived in Toronto for about 11, almost 12 years.
Best city in the world IMHO, especially in the summer.