Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: Rolex on September 14, 2004, 03:34:29 AM
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The sign hanging over the door was full of bullet holes - some .50 caliber, a few .303 caliber and even some ragged holes from a couple of 20mm cannon rounds. Underneath the large sign was a small sign, hanging crooked from one missing small chain, with the words "So Shute Me..." scrawled in the handwriting of the owner. The cafe had been recently repainted and the owner was trying to update the look of it. A variety of tables, some large, some small, and some with only 3 legs were scattered around the dining room. The lighting was dark and gloomy in some areas and a little harsh in others - the glare of the rising or setting Texas sun pierced right through the menu to fry your eyeballs. But, I had come to sample the food and cameraderie that had brought people from across the world to the cafe.
You'd have to call the current atmosphere a little 'industrial.' The sound of C++ hammers could be heard pounding away from deep within the kitchen since the refurbishing wasn't quite finished yet. The cooks had a reputation for being a little secretive about the daily specials. Sometimes a customer would ask what new lunch specials were planned for next week and the responses could run from nothing, to a colorful dismissal that they'd find out after it was finished.
Now, don't get the wrong idea. Trying to please (and deal with) the daily patrons was no easy task. The patrons of this cafe were not champagne-sipping, tuxedo-dressed, clenched-jaw speaking aristocrats. No sir... The usual gang of daily customers all wore masks to hide their identity and most were pot-bellied, tee-shirt wearing, gas-passing, know-it-alls. Almost everyone thought that 'they' could cook up something tastier and better than whatever the cafe cooks made. And they weren't shy about letting the cafe employees know how much better they could cook the food if they owned the cafe.
So, it was a standoff. The cafe served up their style of chili without a lot of sweet talk, and the customers hooted and hollered that the chili needed a little more salt, or less salt, or no salt, or a different kind of salt, and it needed less pepper, more pepper, no peppper or different pepper, etc.
I sat by myself at a table in the middle of the room and looked at the menu. Some of the higher priced items were scratched out with a note that they might be available later - if some of the customers moved to the other side of the room. I didn't want to eat any of the new, exotic dishes anyway - I'm a meat and potatos guy. There were still plenty of different styles of food available anyway, so it was no big deal. I wasn't in the mood to analyze 'why' and 'how' and 'under what conditions' I could sample the exotic food.
I ordered up and in short order, I was in a competitive eating battle against guys at other tables. Some guys ate faster than others, some were standing on the tables, some were sitting on the floor, some ate quietly and precisely, while some actually complained about how, and what, others were eating. They wanted them to eat a certain way because they said there was only one correct way to eat that particular food. Two guys were yelling that the forks were buggy and it made them drop their food in their lap, and some others were arguing that no one could possibly sling a spoon around that fast. Very bizarre.
I tried to simply enjoy the food (which was pretty good, by-the-way) in peace and quiet, but that turned out to be a little difficult. The cafe caters to many customers who are hearing impaired, but refuse to wear hearing devices. Everyone was yelling excitedly like it was the end of the world... about everything. I tried to block it out, but I couldn't. I could hear everything said within 5 tables. And they were all saying everything 3 times - as loudly as possible. For example:
Waitress: "Can I take your order"?
Customer A: "I HAVE A GOON! I HAVE A GOON! I HAVE A GOON!"
Waitress: "What would you like?"
Customer B: "TAKE MY ORDER! TAKE MY ORDER! TAKE MY ORDER!"
Customer A: "ORDER STEALER! ORDER STEALER! ORDER STEALER!"
Customer B: "I'LL DO WHAT I WANT! I'LL DO WHAT I WANT. I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!"
Customer A: "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"
Customer C: "I'M LIFTING MY FORK! I'M LIFTING MY FORK! I'M LIFTING MY FORK!"
Customer D: "CHECK 6! CHECK 6! CHECK 6!"
Customer A: "WHERE? WHERE? WHERE?"
Customer D: "THERE! THERE! THERE!"
ANTWAY! ANYWAY! ANYWAY! I think it's commendable that the cafe caters to these folks, but it can be tedious for non hearing-impaired customers. The food was pretty good and it was an all-you-can-eat buffet, which made the price seem reasonable. I recommend the meat and potatos and suggest you bring some earplugs. It isn't a family restaurant. It's more like a topless bar without the dancers, so you might want to leave the wife and kids at home, leave the kids at home, I SAY AGAIN... LEAVE THE KIDS AT HOME!
Open 24 hours per day
Cuisine: American, British, Russian, German, Japanese, Italian
Price: (All-you-can-eat) $14.95
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Good one rolex.
I love the cafe, as long as the tee is hot and the beer cool:).
ciao schutt
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hehe very nice read.:lol
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Are the waitresses hot? :)
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pure genius my talented friend!
i wonder how many 'hearing impaired' customers wouldn't get past the first paragraph, and would leave the thread shouting at the top of thiers voices:
"THIS IS A LOAD OF NONSENSE. THIS IS A LOAD OF NONSENSE. THIS........IS A LOAD OF NONSENSE"
we should get together one day and write a book along these lines of wit and metaphorical cynisism. (you would have to spell check it)
i have always intended to at some point.
tried a few times, but usuall gave up in preference of my favorite meal at a little cafe i know ;)
batfink
~P.S. type '.squelch ' to eat your meat and veg in peace. I'll even buy you a beer.
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Originally posted by RacrX
Are the waitresses hot? :)
most people in Texas are at least a little warm and sweaty i should think :D
certainly through the summer months
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Originally posted by mechanic
most people in Texas are at least a little warm and sweaty i should think :D
certainly through the summer months
You Keep talking like that and ...well.....well...just you never mind...just keep talking like that:lol
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Open 24 hours per day
Cuisine: American, British, Russian, German, Japanese, Italian
Price: (All-you-can-eat) $14.95
Price: (reasonably quite table set in a private area, with only 8 seats) FREE
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Originally posted by RacrX
Are the waitresses hot? :)
Have you seen Ronni or Yankee? hubba hubba :cool:
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Very well said indeed!
Yankee is a fox, but Ronni is a "Godess".
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Fantastic Metaphor!
I like these. This one was a tasty dish indeed.
The last good one I read was an oldie (but new to me): Mo Nannas
Read "Mo Nannas" Here on The Musketeer's site (http://www.musketeers.org/bug/AWHumor.htm#Monanas)
Which Monkey are you?
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Someone take pics of them. So we all can see if they are really hot.;)
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There's pictures of them in the over 21 forum. Didn't you see them? Oh wait. Nevermind. :D
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:aok :aok :aok :aok :aok
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Hey Arlo ck the over 21 forum :D
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Originally posted by Rolex
The Cafe
The sign hanging over the door was full of bullet holes
that's a keeper Rolex, thank you!
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Great post rolex :rofl
*Burp*
Oh sorry I had to much chili me thinks :o