Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Ripsnort on September 21, 2004, 08:19:38 AM
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...might turn for the worst. Good time to have an emergency plan in place, and some food, water, etc.
U.S. intelligence agencies concluded recently that al Qaeda is moving ahead with plans for a major attack prior to U.S. elections (http://www.washtimes.com/national/20040921-121158-2444r.htm)
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Posted this before, but it's worth a repost
From Late Night with Conan O'Brian:
"Dick Cheney said that if John Kerry wins, there will be another attack. Then Cheney said, if Bush wins, I'll call it off."
:D
Daniel
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I have my duct tape and plastic sheeting ready! And back on topic, what should I be doing to protect myself from the impending doom of big bad Al?
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It's a good thing we have the Department of Homeland Security here to protect us. :rolleyes:
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Originally posted by SOB
I have my duct tape and plastic sheeting ready! And back on topic, what should I be doing to protect myself from the impending doom of big bad Al?
I would'nt worry about it SOB.
Salem Oregon is not exactly on the Al-Qaeda top 10.
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Originally posted by Sandman
It's a good thing we have the Department of Homeland Security here to protect us. :rolleyes:
Yeah, I know.
There's explosions going off left and right here.
Whoops...there goes my car.
Pfft...we need to get rid of this useless piece of beauracracy and spend more money on welfare.
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Originally posted by Sandman
It's a good thing we have the Department of Homeland Security here to protect us. :rolleyes:
Threats and security
The Department of Homeland Security merges under one roof the capability to anticipate, preempt and deter threats to the homeland whenever possible, and the ability to respond quickly when such threats do materialize.
The department is responsible for assessing the vulnerabilities of the nation's critical infrastructure and cyber security threats and takes the lead in evaluating these vulnerabilities and coordinating with other federal, state, local, and private entities to ensure the most effective response.
DHS encourages individuals to report information concerning suspicious or criminal activity and cyber security incidents to Homeland Security.
[/b]
And don't forget, God helps those who help themselves. Be prepared.
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Duct tape is worthless, it protects nothing and is only useful to rednecks doing any form of repair - from clothing to vehicular.
Double sided masking tape is what you need. Not only is it great for holding up thin plastic that protects you from radiation, chemical and bioligical weapons, and most importantly - fire, but it also catches all of these horrific forms of terrorism on the exposed sticky side so you and your family will be kept safe and not have to worry in the impending doom that will take out those less protected that are simply "duck and cover"ing.
-SW
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Damn, and here I've got two big rolls of the duct tape! Well, you can't be too safe I guess, so I'm off to the hardware store to buy some of that double-sided tape...should I ask specifically for anti-terrorism double-sided tape, or will the regular stuff work fine?
BTW...There's a great stupid poll in Rip's link - "Should Rather Resign?". Apart from the stupid title, question number 3 is "who will you vote for as president", and your options are simply Bush or Kerry. Not even an "other" selection. Nice. They also ask for your email address before you submit, and apparently both f*ck@you.com AND poop@poop.com have already voted! :D
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But ... Bush said we are safer. He said it 17 times in one speech!
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Clearly what we need is double sided duct tape!!
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Originally posted by TheDudeDVant
Clearly what we need is double sided duct tape!!
Run with it man, you could make Trillions, or dare I say it . . . BILLIONS!!!
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Its actually a special brand you need that is less porous and has a denser concentration of stick-fast material. Its called, "Ashcroft's Ultimate Anti-Terror Tape", and has a "APPROVED BY THE DHS" sticker on it. On the back it reads, "Four out of Five Terrorists hate it!"
Costs $9.95 a roll, is 100 yards plus 5 inches wide for the best plastic adhesive capabilities, and has a large banner you can put up on your fumigated looking plastic covered house that reads "UNITED WE STAND" in addition to a little American flag bumper sticker.
Quite a buy for the real patriots.
-SW
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Oooh, thrown in a crying bald eagle sticker, and I'll buy a whole box!
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Make sure you check the expiry dates before purchasing.
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omg lmfao!!
"Four out of Five Terrorists hate it!"
guy that is just freakin awesome! hehehe
:lol :lol
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Interesting that you mention that, since there is a large discount on bulk purchases that features a HOOD ORNAMENT! of a crying eagle, an entire set of #3 memoribilia plates, AND A BUST OF GEORGE W. BUSH!!!
Go out and buy it now! Show up other Americans in a materialistic statement of your patriotism.
-SW
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jeeze rip, you got them all erect and scanning the horizon now....might want to hit the bunker early.
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Ok, gonna go find some ammo for my M91/30...
:)
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This must be new news to you Yeager...
-SW
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on the contrary, this doesn't even qualify as cheap entertainment. I am just killing time.
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Well for a better waste of time, I suggest you head over to the local DHS approved hardware store for your anti-terrorism needs.
Be sure to pick up the anti-terrorist tire iron, best $5.35 I ever spent.
-SW
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
And don't forget, God helps those who help themselves. Be prepared.
Hmmm... I'm a heathen, but if I recall correctly, there is not a single passage in the bible that says this.
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It's obvious we have a double-sided duct tape gap here!
We here at Duct Tape Defense Industries Corp. are ready to help the US catch up in the Double Sided Duct Tape race.
We've just brought a Mr. Cheney onto our Board of Directors and are ready to have lavish procurement dollars bestowed upon us to thrawt this and springboard the U. S. of A. back into the Double Sided Duct Tape lead.
In concert with this massive Duct Tape R & D effort and also looking into developing NEVAR FORGET! signs that will withstand direct nuclear blasts (and look good as display flags for car windows).
Now before you think that DTDI Corp is just a partisan defense contractor, we are also developing a system to heal wounds suffered in beaching of bass boats in a super fast way. We're toying with the name band-aid, and rest assured, we will spare no expense in finding the right name. Of course the "band-aids" will come enblazened with a crying bald eagle that will stand up to any weather conditions.
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I saw it once. When I was in line at a Chinese buffet. It's true!
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Be prepared for the unpreparable, thats my motto!
Dont forget, its now legal to buy new CAR-15s, 20+round mags and to have BAYONETS INSTALLED!!!!!!!
Ive got mine :D
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Originally posted by Yeager
jeeze rip, you got them all erect and scanning the horizon now....might want to hit the bunker early.
Hey, I was erect before I ever read this, I'll have you know.
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Originally posted by Muckmaw1
Salem Oregon is not exactly on the Al-Qaeda top 10.
Salem West Virgina, on the other hand ;)
The American Flag Painted House is a Prime Target! as is the Dairy Queen. Better send the Salem Police (all four of them) to stake it out.
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Originally posted by Sandman
Hmmm... I'm a heathen, but if I recall correctly, there is not a single passage in the bible that says this.
it is a Benjamin Franklin quote (http://en.thinkexist.com/quotation/God_helps_those_who_help_themselves/154978.html)
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[edit: OOPS Stringer beat me to it.]
The real question is, will it hold a chickenhawk decal to the hood of a 1976 Trans Am?
Charon
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Originally posted by AKS\/\/ulfe
Duct tape is worthless
You my friend will burn in the firey depths of hell for the blasphemy wich is spewing from your lips about duct tape :D
As for an attack, I gotta say im not too confident in this homeland security dealie. I mean lets say this guy is in northern Mexico. Do you know how many people jump the fence to America on a daily basis. With this is mind, just think someone could easily hop the fence somewhere along the board with a nuclear device in their backpack and stroll up to whatever target they wished.
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This guy had turned for us, and was providing info on Al-Quada, sending encryptic e-mails and phone calls. But no, the we got to know media, your not doing anything kerryits, had to release his name to the press, and boom all communication between him and al-Quada stopped.
...One major intelligence "break" was the arrest in June of Musaad Aruchi, who was captured in Karachi. Aruchi was a senior al Qaeda member who provided information that led to other key arrests within weeks. ...
...The arrest of Aruchi, a nephew of September 11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, provided U.S. and Pakistani intelligence and security officials with information that led to further arrests, including that of Ahmed Khalfan Ghailani, a Tanzanian linked by U.S. intelligence to the August 1998 bombings of U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania.
Along with Ghailani, U.S. and Pakistani authorities also arrested another al Qaeda member, Muhammad Naeem Noor Khan, a Pakistani, who was picked up in Lahore on July 13. ....
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Originally posted by Sandman
Hmmm... I'm a heathen, but if I recall correctly, there is not a single passage in the bible that says this.
I don't recall anywhere in the thread where someone said it was a bible quote. ;)
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
I don't recall anywhere in the thread where someone said it was a bible quote. ;)
Well if it ain't in the thread and it ain't in the Bible... it must be of the devil... so everyone get on welfare.. hurry!
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*Retrieves old, wooden desk from the depths of his garage*
All set! No nuclear fallout will harm my ass!!
Oh, and this ducktape and plastic should do wonders against all those chemicals.
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Lol. I think the department of homeland security will "Conviently" forget about california...
Oh, and Fruda, the desk was supposed to shield you from falling debris from the shock wave. It takes a while for the radiation and heat to get to you.
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
I don't recall anywhere in the thread where someone said it was a bible quote. ;)
I'm sorry... for most mere mortal Christians, God speaks through the scripture. Now... if you heard this directly from him, you should start telling everyone what else he told you. You might also want to consider buying a large parcel of land with a lot of room for guests. Somewhere near Waco or French Guyana would be perfect.