Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Muckmaw1 on November 17, 2004, 09:04:53 PM
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As I type this, I am listening to my mother-in-law bash me to her sister.
This is funny.
My wife gave birth to our second daughter about a month ago.
My mother-in-law who is about as skilled with children as John Wayne Gacy came in 5 weeks ago to "help".
Now, my house is kind of small so it's pretty cramped.
Tonight, the old broad had a few "Beverages" after dinner. I went downstairs to do some stuff here on the computer, and as she can't be alone with my sleeping newborn, I waved the baby-monitor on my way past and said, "I'll listen for the baby".
Either she thinks baby monitors only pick up babies, or she's too drunk to realize it, but I can hear every word she is saying to her sister about me on the phone.
hehe....
27 days to go on this extended sentence.
Some of her better attributes, by the way.
She can't cook.
She's no good with kids.
She has a gastro-intestinal problem.
As of this writing, my life blows donkey-balls.
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For you my friend I will crack a beer and celebrate the joy of bachelor hood, Hope you survive the rest of your sentence. Heres looking at ya :aok
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comon give us the dirt what is she saying. had a similair situation with my sister in law.
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Well?????
So just what DID she have to say about you?
Sheesh ya left out the best part.
My mother in law is fine. Father in law to. in fact tend to defend me over my wife most of the time which pisses my wife off to no end.
Two of my sister in laws on the other hand...
Well, lets just say there is no love lost between us.
The ONLY thing that saves one of em is the fact she's a woman or I would have sent her to an ICU unit long ago.
But she's that way even with her husband.
I commonly refer to has a perfect example of what could be labeled as justifiable reason for spousal abuse LOL
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Wow...that suks
My Mom in Law treats me great. Father in Law treats me pretty well as well. It has been said he treats me WAY better than any other son in law and I have been in the family alot less time.
My Mom lives with my Wife and I.
She cooks great.
Does Laundry for my wife and I
Cleans house on Thursdays
Takes care of alot of things
SHe is suffering from a disease but MAN she does things. We tell her not to and her response is....
"I live here and I am perfectly capable of doing what I want to."
We just let her go and appreciate it a ton. Its great to have her.
To bad you couldnt have the same thing.
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Basically, she reported back to her sister that my wife and I are fighting, which we are not.
As all married couples do, occaisonally, we have a 5 second exchange of words, then it's over and forgotten. It usually involves me doing something wrong, like putting in too much formula, etc.
To hear my mother in law tell it, we're on the verge of a divorce.
Oh, and I'm grumpy when I get home from work.
I also monopolize the TV set and have alot of porno links stored as favorites on my computer.
Pffft, with her in the house, I need all the pron I can get. God knows, there ain't nothing else happening these days.
Oh, she told her sister she is appauled at how I call my wife "Laci" when she pisses me off.
Meanwhile, my wife thinks it's pretty funny.
So, bottom line...I suck. Next thing you know, she'll be telling her sister I rifle through her purse and sniff her underwear.
27 days...baby!
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Originally posted by Muckmaw1
To hear my mother in law tell it, we're on the verge of a divorce.
Oh, and I'm grumpy when I get home from work.
I also monopolize the TV set and have alot of porno links stored as favorites on my computer.
Pffft, with her in the house, I need all the pron I can get. God knows, there ain't nothing else happening these days.
Oh, she told her sister she is appauled at how I call my wife "Laci" when she pisses me off.
Most of that stuff is typical. The Laci line is one I will have to try. Want to piss off the Mom-In-Law? Next time she backs up for any reason, you go "beep, beep beep", do the backup horn for her.
My mother-in-law is a minion of the devil Evil ***** has caused too much heartache for my wife and my boys. I ignore her all I can. Even got caller ID so when she calls I will know not to answer. I could tell ya a lot of stories, but why bore ya. No way though I would let anyone stay at my house for that long, especially my Mother-in-law. shudder.
dago
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Originally posted by Muckmaw1
Basically, she reported back to her sister that my wife and I are fighting, which we are not.
As all married couples do, occaisonally, we have a 5 second exchange of words, then it's over and forgotten. It usually involves me doing something wrong, like putting in too much formula, etc.
To hear my mother in law tell it, we're on the verge of a divorce.
Oh, and I'm grumpy when I get home from work.
I also monopolize the TV set and have alot of porno links stored as favorites on my computer.
Pffft, with her in the house, I need all the pron I can get. God knows, there ain't nothing else happening these days.
Oh, she told her sister she is appauled at how I call my wife "Laci" when she pisses me off.
Meanwhile, my wife thinks it's pretty funny.
So, bottom line...I suck. Next thing you know, she'll be telling her sister I rifle through her purse and sniff her underwear.
27 days...baby!
Oh would ya let the old bat watch her Wheel of fortune already.
That being said. it is YOUR TV lol
How the hell does she know about your porn links?
Yanno what you gotta do from now on.
every time she asks you for something just say
"Yes Mommy dearest"
LMAO
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Bad mouthing you in your own house? You should have a taxi waiting for her in the morning.
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I'd have to put that goat.se Pic on my desktop .. or something outta the gross site ....
Oh yea you better password protect ur pron collection ...
Toilet seat would get left in Guy mode also .. I'd make her life hell ... then when she brings it all up ask her "what is the meaning of life " ... sit back watch her squirm her way outta all her little gossip tale's .
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OK, first off I'm willing to concede that I'm not renowned for my diplomatic skills.
but were it me, I'd have walked into the room, hung up the phone for her, showed her the monitor and explain how you can hear EVERYTHING on them. then just let her know, that you pay the phone bill and that you'd appreciate her not using your resources to talk trash about you and post details of your personal life on her gossip ring.
worst case scenario, she throws a fit, stomps out, and refuses to step foot in your house for awhile. where's the down-side?
sure your wife will likely give you some crap over it at first. but it won't be near as bad as having her mother in your house for a month so she can give your wife minute to minute updates on your every shortcoming (real or imagined).
IMO, frequent and immediate vents to let people know when they are crossing the line, end up causing way less problem in the long run than holding crap in until you critical failure and lose it so bad that you become the bad guy.
btw- I've been married for over 20 years, get along very well with my in-laws now, so I'm not just talking trash with no concept of the stakes. even if it doesn't work out as well for you, at least you aren't the one packing the stress from holding this in.
or in therapist speak- "get in touch with your inner bastard"
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My mother-in-law, dosen't speak a word of english, and lives 5000 miles away, I think she is great as she thinks I'm great.
my advice to you
scotch and strip clubs
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Originally posted by Muckmaw1
I also monopolize the TV set and have alot of porno links stored as favorites on my computer.
Pffft, with her in the house, I need all the pron I can get. God knows, there ain't nothing else happening these days.
Oh, she told her sister she is appauled at how I call my wife "Laci" when she pisses me off.
You call your wife "Laci?" After Laci Peterson? And you don't understand why your mother in law would be alarmed about that?? And you've got 4 females in the house now, and you have readily accessable porn links on your family computer??
(full one minute pause of silence for effect)
This is classic of what happens when little boys get married before they learn how to become men. Instead of being PO'd at your mother in law perhaps you should listen to what she's saying- sounds like she has a legitimate reason to be alarmed at your bad manners.
This woman interrupted her life to help you and your wife out- she probably wouldn't have to if you'd get your fat bellybutton off the couch and raise a finger to help- and instead of being grateful all you do is whine because she "inconviences" you (read: you can't as easily wank off to porn sites with her in the house).
I feel sorry for this woman for having such an immature little boy for a son in law. Real men don't make threats of violence, however veiled, against their wives. Real men don't have porn links on the family computer for one and all to view. Real men help out when there's a new baby in the house. Real men treat their in-laws with respect. But you wouldn't know about being a man because you're still just a little boy.
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Airhead
You must be single... either that or your wife is cheating on you.
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"get in touch with your inner bastard"
I finally have a sig :D
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:roflAirhead
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Originally posted by SOB
Bad mouthing you in your own house? You should have a taxi waiting for her in the morning.
Finally! Some advice from someone who stands to pee.
You’re mother-in-law is in YOUR house for 27 days? No offense, but any gelding who allows this to happen deserves whatever he gets.
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Originally posted by Airhead
You call your wife "Laci?" After Laci Peterson? And you don't understand why your mother in law would be alarmed about that?? And you've got 4 females in the house now, and you have readily accessable porn links on your family computer??
(full one minute pause of silence for effect)
This is classic of what happens when little boys get married before they learn how to become men. Instead of being PO'd at your mother in law perhaps you should listen to what she's saying- sounds like she has a legitimate reason to be alarmed at your bad manners.
This woman interrupted her life to help you and your wife out- she probably wouldn't have to if you'd get your fat bellybutton off the couch and raise a finger to help- and instead of being grateful all you do is whine because she "inconviences" you (read: you can't as easily wank off to porn sites with her in the house).
I feel sorry for this woman for having such an immature little boy for a son in law. Real men don't make threats of violence, however veiled, against their wives. Real men don't have porn links on the family computer for one and all to view. Real men help out when there's a new baby in the house. Real men treat their in-laws with respect. But you wouldn't know about being a man because you're still just a little boy.
:rofl
OMG that is the best...
is there a limit as to how long a sig can be?
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Originally posted by myelo
Finally! Some advice from someone who stands to pee.
You’re mother-in-law is in YOUR house for 27 days? No offense, but any gelding who allows this to happen deserves whatever he gets.
Can't argue with that.
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Airhead... 9.5 :lol
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(http://www.ouchytheclown.com/images/welcome.jpg)
Visit airhead at work! (http://www.ouchytheclown.com/)
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Originally posted by VWE
You must be single... either that or your wife is cheating on you.
I'm used to your flawed logic, but this one is baffling, even coming from you.
So because I treat my in-laws with respect- not because I necessarily like my in-laws, but because I love my wife-
Don't have porn links on my computer- not because I don't like porn necessarily, but out of respect for my wife-
Am active in raising my child, from poopy diapers to the College tuition, out of a commitment I made to my wife-
Have never threatened, struck nor bullied her, because I honor my wife-
And, lastly, have never cheated on her, because of a promise I made to my wife-
So because of all that, you can tell my wife is cheating on me? :confused:
You might be right- maybe women look for couch potato slugs who wank off to porn sites...I just hope my daughter holds out for better, is all.
Oh well, what can you say? After all, he IS a Maw. :p
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... you had me at hello.
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Muckmaw you are lucky your sentence is as short as it is. Mine is 12 years long now with no end in sight. Even though my mother in law doesnt live in my home she does live 2 blocks away.
My inlaws cant stand me....I cant stand them. I have been thrown out of their home, they have been thrown out of mine.
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Originally posted by Elfie
Muckmaw you are lucky your sentence is as short as it is. Mine is 12 years long now with no end in sight. Even though my mother in law doesnt live in my home she does live 2 blocks away.
My inlaws cant stand me....I cant stand them. I have been thrown out of their home, they have been thrown out of mine.
Wow.
God must really have it in for you.
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Muck..... buy a boat, make a few cement anchors and tell the 'ol bat that you'd like to make amends to her by taking her on a fishing trip this December 24th...Just you and her...*heavy on the evil sheepish grin*
Bet she'd hit the door running!!!!
:rofl
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Originally posted by AWMac
Muck..... buy a boat, make a few cement anchors and tell the 'ol bat that you'd like to make amends to her by taking her on a fishing trip this December 24th...Just you and her...*heavy on the evil sheepish grin*
Bet she'd hit the door running!!!!
:rofl
Ya know, I'll burn in Hell for laughing, but damn, that is funny. (Looking over shoulder, making sure wife isn't reading monitor)
:D
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Originally posted by AWMac
Muck..... buy a boat, make a few cement anchors and tell the 'ol bat that you'd like to make amends to her by taking her on a fishing trip this December 24th...Just you and her...*heavy on the evil sheepish grin*
Bet she'd hit the door running!!!!
:rofl
Is that like the joke about the last thing Laci said to her hubby that day? "You feed the dog, I'll feed the fish.."
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Heheheh...maybe we should take up a collection for Muck. He could use the dough to put his mom-in-law up in a nearby motel. Either that, or hire a hit man.:p
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Hey Muck..... is there perhaps a "Bates Motel" in the area? hint, hint.
:D
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My mother-in-law is Asian, and she lives with us.
She cooks.
She cleans.
She does the gardens.
She will look after our newborn early next year (it is my personal goal to never change a nappy at which stage I expect some hero-worship).
She nevers butts in, never offers "advice", leaves us to do what we like. And if I argue with my wife she usually takes my side.
She often buys stuff for me.
I luv's my mother in law.
:)
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Sounds like you have it made Vulcan.
During one of my scuba dives, we performed a maneuver called the "Laci Peterson". You swim to the bottom of the lake, the instructor ties your legs up, and you have to cut yourself free with a knife.
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Originally posted by Airhead
Have never threatened, struck nor bullied her, because I honor my wife-
I thought that was because she'd kick your ass.
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Muck kidding or not carefull with the Laci comments. I worked with a guy that went up the river for 13 months because in a fight with his girl friend he said I am going to OJ you. The girlfriend didnt even turn him in a nabour heard it and called the police. He was chaged with making terrorist threats.
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Originally posted by Vulcan
My mother-in-law is Asian, and she lives with us.
She cooks.
She cleans.
She does the gardens.
She will look after our newborn early next year (it is my personal goal to never change a nappy at which stage I expect some hero-worship).
She nevers butts in, never offers "advice", leaves us to do what we like. And if I argue with my wife she usually takes my side.
She often buys stuff for me.
I luv's my mother in law.
:)
I shoulda married into that culture :(
:D
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Originally posted by Vulcan
My mother-in-law is Asian, and she lives with us.
She cooks.
She cleans.
She does the gardens.
She will look after our newborn early next year (it is my personal goal to never change a nappy at which stage I expect some hero-worship).
She nevers butts in, never offers "advice", leaves us to do what we like. And if I argue with my wife she usually takes my side.
She often buys stuff for me.
I luv's my mother in law.
:)
Dang......you are one LUCKY man :(
My inlaws have done everything from telling me when to mow my lawn to encouraging my wife to have an affair.
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Originally posted by icemaw
Muck kidding or not carefull with the Laci comments. I worked with a guy that went up the river for 13 months because in a fight with his girl friend he said I am going to OJ you. The girlfriend didnt even turn him in a nabour heard it and called the police. He was chaged with making terrorist threats.
Dude, thats not even funny.
You know me, Ice. You know how much I love my wife and how happy I am.
But of course tonight, I get home from work, and what;s sitting on the couch....not my beautiful wife....
The thing that gave birth to her.
I'm hiding in the basement as I type this.
She just farted again.
She's walking around the living room, "Crop Dusting"
Somebody kill me.
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Dude fight fire with fire.
Or are you gonna be out-farted by a chick?
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Eat some Halibut, a couple hard boiled eggs, and have a few beers. Tomorrow your gas will be so bad the dog will run and howl. Who knows how your mother in law will be affected.
I agree, fight fire with fire. :D
PS I recommend you wearing a gas mask the next day......
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Airhead= teh OLD!
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Originally posted by Muckmaw1
Wow.
God must really have it in for you.
no, he just didn't deal with it in time and let her push him around on that first 30 day visit. she liked it so much she stayed forever.
you might want to let that roll around in your head for a bit.
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Originally posted by Muckmaw1
She's walking around the living room, "Crop Dusting"
Somebody kill me.
This thread is full of sig material.
Frankly,
I took my mother in law In (a good German woman) and I'm currently in the process of making her one of my "dependents" with the military. She is phyisically disabled and the guy that married her is leaving her.
SHe cooks. She cleans. She watches the kids. Basically she pulls her weight around the house and we compensate her for it for room and board + alcohole.
She does take my side alot when it comes to in house arguments becauas......lets face it my wife is a woman and WE ALL KNOW that logic is not one of their strong suits.
She can be a mean ***** sometimes but mostly she keeps to herself....as far as the mother in law goes (oops did I type that out loud) she's pretty nice.
I am secretly using one of those "learn German" programs without telling them so I can hear what they are saying half the time.
I'm waiting for my moment to STRIKE and spatter off with YOU DUMB BEACHES I HEAR EEEEEVVVVEEERRRYYYYYTHHHINNNG GG! Or something to that order. The only thing I worry about is I am currently learning Higher German wich they don't speak.
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Originally posted by capt. apathy
no, he just didn't deal with it in time and let her push him around on that first 30 day visit. she liked it so much she stayed forever.
you might want to let that roll around in your head for a bit.
pfft....read my first post in this thread again. The old bag doesnt live in my home, she lives 2 blocks away. Which, imo is ENTIRELY to close.
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Muck's mum inlaw caught on film.... (http://abum.com/files/Movies/511875733.mpg)
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Go out to the phone junction box and hook a cable to the house drop line and run that to a switch inside the house. When she is on the phone, flip the switch and
BZZZZTT
Instant disconnect. Do it several times and either she will give up or go psycho and rip it outta the wall. Eithe way it'll be worth watching.
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Originally posted by Airhead
You call your wife "Laci?" After Laci Peterson? And you don't understand why your mother in law would be alarmed about that?? And you've got 4 females in the house now, and you have readily accessable porn links on your family computer??
(full one minute pause of silence for effect)
This is classic of what happens when little boys get married before they learn how to become men. Instead of being PO'd at your mother in law perhaps you should listen to what she's saying- sounds like she has a legitimate reason to be alarmed at your bad manners.
This woman interrupted her life to help you and your wife out- she probably wouldn't have to if you'd get your fat bellybutton off the couch and raise a finger to help- and instead of being grateful all you do is whine because she "inconviences" you (read: you can't as easily wank off to porn sites with her in the house).
I feel sorry for this woman for having such an immature little boy for a son in law. Real men don't make threats of violence, however veiled, against their wives. Real men don't have porn links on the family computer for one and all to view. Real men help out when there's a new baby in the house. Real men treat their in-laws with respect. But you wouldn't know about being a man because you're still just a little boy.
Ya know...I think he has a good point here. Actually...several of them.
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When I'm serious they think I'm trolling; when I'm trolling they think I'm serious. All I meant was that when you get married and have a family you're suddenly low man ("man" being the key word here) on the totem pole. Muck's a good guy I guess, and not to be baggin on him, but if his wife is busy with a newborn, and his MML is busy with his older child, then what's his job? Surfing porn sites? Watching TV?
This is a male dominated Board, and the vast majority of posters here obviously have problems relating to any woman who isn't inflatable... But I'd bet if Muck made his post on a more gender-equal Board, say a Board about parenting, or values, or any other Board with a hint of morality, Muck would have gotten ripped a new one for his attitude.
Just sayin. (shrug)
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Originally posted by icemaw
Muck kidding or not carefull with the Laci comments. I worked with a guy that went up the river for 13 months because in a fight with his girl friend he said I am going to OJ you. The girlfriend didnt even turn him in a nabour heard it and called the police. He was chaged with making terrorist threats.
Way to go Patriot Act. If you give them power they will abuse it.
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Originally posted by Airhead
When I'm serious they think I'm trolling; when I'm trolling they think I'm serious. All I meant was that when you get married and have a family you're suddenly low man ("man" being the key word here) on the totem pole. Muck's a good guy I guess, and not to be baggin on him, but if his wife is busy with a newborn, and his MML is busy with his older child, then what's his job? Surfing porn sites? Watching TV?
This is a male dominated Board, and the vast majority of posters here obviously have problems relating to any woman who isn't inflatable... But I'd bet if Muck made his post on a more gender-equal Board, say a Board about parenting, or values, or any other Board with a hint of morality, Muck would have gotten ripped a new one for his attitude.
Just sayin. (shrug)
You were friggin serious?
Airhead, you could not possibly be more wrong.
Now, I could tell you everything I do here. I can also tell you I won the nobel prize for physics. Your not going to believe either, because your mind is made up from my original post, so why bother typing it.
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Airhead I've never made any "laci" comments to my wife but we joke back and forth all the time about what we'd do with eachothers life insurence. It's just the sort of dark humor that some people do. I don't think Muck's a bad guy for surfing porn and I definatly don't think he's neglecting his family. I can relate to him about being the object of criticisim for no good reason at all.
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Originally posted by Gunslinger
Airhead I've never made any "laci" comments to my wife but we joke back and forth all the time about what we'd do with eachothers life insurence.
Good point, GS- one I almost mentioned after the OJ comment. The context in which a "threat" is made is what the issue is, and joking about spending a spouse's insurance money, or making a reference to cement anchors in a lighthearted way, is far different than making the same comment in anger- then it's a threat.
"Oh, she told her sister she is appauled at how I call my wife "Laci" when she pisses me off."
as opposed to
"we joke back and forth all the time about what we'd do with eachothers life insurence."
shows a vast difference in the mood of the stater. You DO see that, right?
Look, I'm not trying to be harsh with Muck, and he's right, I don't know all the stuff he does around the house or how strong his marriage is. But two out of three marriages end in divorce, and one way to start the wheels turning for an eventual divorce is to be openly hostile to your mother-in-law. It's common sense.
About the porn- Personally I don't care, but he should at least have the decency to take the sites off his favorites list if he knows his mother in law will be using the computer. It's not like she "snooped" in his history to see his porn collection- they're right there on the "favorites" list for anyone who knows how to turn on a computer can find. After his two daughters are older will they be allowed on the computer? Will the porn links still be on his favorites list? Do you think little girls looking at porn is OK? He won't expose his children to it, but he exposes his mother in law to it? Seriously- would you want your daughter to think the way to get approval from men-is to act like a porn star?
The general concensus seems to be to throw her out- my advice is to get along. No matter how much you might despise her, you owe it to your wife to be civil to her mother. She'll be a hell of a lot more appreciative if you make more of an effort to get along with her Mom than if you act like a putz...maybe even so appreciative you might be working on Baby No.3 after her Mom leaves.
;)
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My mother-in-law is great. Both of my in-laws live with my wife, kids and I and they do more than pull their weight. Even at 81 my mother-in-law cooks every other night and does a lot of cleaning. They both help us raise our daughters daily. I can’t imagine life any other way. Everyone in my household has and shows respect for each other (OK, the two-year-old has a way to go). I’m sorry that everyone can’t experience this. I know that I am lucky.
I know some pretty reasonable folks who have some pretty crazy in-laws; the kind that no one could put up with. However, in your case Muckmaw1, I think that airhead has a valid point. You’re bringing this on as much as she is. She sounds as if she is far from the perfect mother-in-law, but imagine what it would be like to hear your future son-in-law joke around about killing your daughter… or viewing porn…? Are you as good of a husband and son-in-law as she is a mother-in-law?
eskimo
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Originally posted by Airhead
Good point, GS- one I almost mentioned after the OJ comment. The context in which a "threat" is made is what the issue is, and joking about spending a spouse's insurance money, or making a reference to cement anchors in a lighthearted way, is far different than making the same comment in anger- then it's a threat.
"Oh, she told her sister she is appauled at how I call my wife "Laci" when she pisses me off."
as opposed to
"we joke back and forth all the time about what we'd do with eachothers life insurence."
shows a vast difference in the mood of the stater. You DO see that, right?
Look, I'm not trying to be harsh with Muck, and he's right, I don't know all the stuff he does around the house or how strong his marriage is. But two out of three marriages end in divorce, and one way to start the wheels turning for an eventual divorce is to be openly hostile to your mother-in-law. It's common sense.
About the porn- Personally I don't care, but he should at least have the decency to take the sites off his favorites list if he knows his mother in law will be using the computer. It's not like she "snooped" in his history to see his porn collection- they're right there on the "favorites" list for anyone who knows how to turn on a computer can find. After his two daughters are older will they be allowed on the computer? Will the porn links still be on his favorites list? Do you think little girls looking at porn is OK? He won't expose his children to it, but he exposes his mother in law to it? Seriously- would you want your daughter to think the way to get approval from men-is to act like a porn star?
The general concensus seems to be to throw her out- my advice is to get along. No matter how much you might despise her, you owe it to your wife to be civil to her mother. She'll be a hell of a lot more appreciative if you make more of an effort to get along with her Mom than if you act like a putz...maybe even so appreciative you might be working on Baby No.3 after her Mom leaves.
;)
Now I see where your coming from and it makes sense.
Let me be clear. If we're driving in the car, and I get lost and my wife finds our way, I'll say something like, "Way to go, Laci".
In other words, you made me look silly, haha, I'm going to kill you for it. All tongue on cheek. The laci thing is a joke, just like the life insurance. My wife thinks its very funny, to the point she has told her sister in her own stories about the joke. Its jsut our dark humor.
When my wife really makes me angry, by ususally proving my wrong on a certain matter, I normally just apologize and kind of keep to myself a little bit. (Sorta like the cave thing, in the mars and venus book...which I did read. Go ahead, laugh it up)
As far as the porn links. I disagree. This is my computer. It's in my computer room. I did NOT give my mother in law permission to use it. I did NOT even give her permission to go into the room.
Just because it is in the house does not mean she has free reign over anything, be it a computer or a toilet plunger.
She sat her bellybutton down one day and told me she had used my computer when I got home from work.
Granted, had I known she was going to help herself, I would have certainly deleted the links.
As to the question as to whether or not we get along. We do. When she is back home, I call her every few weeks just to check on her. I also manage her entire investment portfolio, so I am pretty sure she trusts me.
Do I like her as a person? Not really. She's just completely different than me. She's nothing like my wife for that matter either.
Airhead, as much as I wanted to call you a screaming dick for what you said, in a way I have to thank you. I have taken the time to re-evaluate the situation here. I am going to make more of an effort to help her enjoy her stay.
24 days to go. I think I'll go share the chocolate covered almonds I was hiding. Do nuts cause gas?
At least she has not farted at me today.
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Originally posted by Muckmaw1
Now I see where your coming from and it makes sense.
Let me be clear. If we're driving in the car, and I get lost and my wife finds our way, I'll say something like, "Way to go, Laci".
In other words, you made me look silly, haha, I'm going to kill you for it. All tongue on cheek. The laci thing is a joke, just like the life insurance. My wife thinks its very funny, to the point she has told her sister in her own stories about the joke. Its jsut our dark humor.
When my wife really makes me angry, by ususally proving my wrong on a certain matter, I normally just apologize and kind of keep to myself a little bit. (Sorta like the cave thing, in the mars and venus book...which I did read. Go ahead, laugh it up)
As far as the porn links. I disagree. This is my computer. It's in my computer room. I did NOT give my mother in law permission to use it. I did NOT even give her permission to go into the room.
Just because it is in the house does not mean she has free reign over anything, be it a computer or a toilet plunger.
She sat her bellybutton down one day and told me she had used my computer when I got home from work.
Granted, had I known she was going to help herself, I would have certainly deleted the links.
As to the question as to whether or not we get along. We do. When she is back home, I call her every few weeks just to check on her. I also manage her entire investment portfolio, so I am pretty sure she trusts me.
Do I like her as a person? Not really. She's just completely different than me. She's nothing like my wife for that matter either.
Airhead, as much as I wanted to call you a screaming dick for what you said, in a way I have to thank you. I have taken the time to re-evaluate the situation here. I am going to make more of an effort to help her enjoy her stay.
24 days to go. I think I'll go share the chocolate covered almonds I was hiding. Do nuts cause gas?
At least she has not farted at me today.
Good plan.
I’m a teacher. Every now and then I get a student that I do not like. When I realize it, I make myself look at them in a positive light. I try to look for their likeable traits. Sometimes it takes awhile, but I almost always learn to appreciate them for who they are. Life becomes more pleasant for the both of us.
You don’t have to put up with your mother-in-law for 24 more days; you have to deal with her for the rest of her life. You might as well make it enjoyable.
eskimo
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Originally posted by Airhead
Look, I'm not trying to be harsh with Muck, and he's right, I don't know all the stuff he does around the house or how strong his marriage is. But two out of three marriages end in divorce, and one way to start the wheels turning for an eventual divorce is to be openly hostile to your mother-in-law. It's common sense.
I couldn't dis-agree more with this part of your post.
if you want to kill a marriage, just let the partners lose respect for each other.
having it become common in her family for them to talk trash about you is a nice seed to start killing any respect your wife has for you. it wasn't just the mother in-law who thought this was OK, there was someone on the other end of the conversation too.
in any relationship, from your marriage to your dealings with the kid at the drive-up window, you teach people how to treat you. every single time you allow people treating you like crap, you're teaching them and anyone who observes it (including your wife and kids) that either -
1. it's OK to treat people this way
2. it's OK to allow people to treat you this way
3. that the gossip must be true because you don't confront it
4. that you won't do anything if abused, so it's OK to be dis-respectful, abusive, rude or inconsiderate to you
which one (or more) of those messages do you want to send to your wife and kids?
how long before your wife and kids make the transition from overhearing this sort of thing, to having people do it in front of them, to them joining in, to providing ammo for the in-laws, to your kids thinking you are a joke, to your wife losing respect for you and looking for a husband she can respect.
maybe you could just put up with it for awhile. just let it go while you put up with it. at least until the day you can't take it any more and have a nice and usually public melt-down. that way talking trash about you won't just be fun for the gossips in the family. the people who know about the family gossips, and don't put much weight behind what the gossips say about others, get to join in the fun. because when you finally can't take it anymore and lose control, you will prove the gossips right and demonstrate what a clown you can be.
it is way better to deal with this sort of thing early on when it is just annoying and unacceptable. wait until you are mad to act and you will likely do or say something you regret, making you the unreasonable one.
it is not unreasonable or hostile to demand people to treat you with respect. this goes double in your own home. triple if these people have any contact with your wife and children.
what is unreasonable is to repeatedly let people treat you badly and then, after you've spent all that time teaching them that you find that sort of treatment acceptable, one day decide you've had enough and suddenly change the rules on them.
Muck, you know this is unacceptable. if you didn't you wouldn't have written the first post.
so let me ask you this- do you think it will be easier or harder to take when you deal with this for the 10th time? the 50th? the 200th? when your wife and kids start joining in?
if it gets easier to take- is this the guy you want to be? do you want to desensitize yourself, train yourself over time to be a doormat? eventually get to a place in your life where even you find it normal and maybe even deserved for people (including your family) to treat you like a punk?
or
if it gets harder to take with each instance- wouldn't it be reasonable to assume that if it continues you will eventually reach a point were you can no longer tolerate it? would that be easier to do when you at the end of your rope or would you handle it better if you did it while you still had some patience left?
would it be easier to put a stop to this now when it just your mother in-law, and maybe a follow-up with who-ever was on the other end of the call (if they pass on what she said), or when it becomes a common topic of amusement when your in-laws get together?
I'm not saying you need to pick a fight with her, or scream and yell and throw a tantrum. I'd just tell her what you over-heard, and that if she can't help but use her stay with you to dis-respect you, then you will have to put a stop to it by ending her visit. explain to her that your home is private, and as a guest in your home you need her to respect your privacy or remove herself from your home.
keep in mind, she is not your mother and you are not in her house. she has or deserves no authority over you. you are the one who decides what is acceptable in your home and have a right (and obligation, in providing an example to your kids) to remove anyone from your home who can't behave properly.
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I get along great with my MIL, but regardless, my rule has always been that anyone is welcome to visit, no-one is welcome to stay. 4 days and the checkout time is Noon.
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Apathy,
While I agree, I need to confront this, would it be better to have my wife do it?
In other words, explain to my wife, this is what I heard, you and I know it's not true and she is making me look bad to the family.
My wife is 1000% on my side here, BTW. She is ready to cry, literally, because her mom is being so difficult.
Here's a perfect example. About a week ago, my mother in law put the baby down on her stomach, and left the room. Now, anyone who is a parent at least in the last 5 years knows this is VERY DANGEROUS. It's been linked to many cases of crib-death.
My wife caught it, and explained to my mil that this was not acceptable.
Guess what happened today. My mil had the baby while I was doing E-bay. I hear the baby crying, on the monitor so I run up, needing a break from E-bay and wanting some Daddy-Daughter time. Babys on her stomach. Mother in laws not in the room. Bad.
Here's the best part. My MIL and my wife are talking today and my MIL takes the wife she is acting like a nazi, teling her what to do and how to do it, etc. My wife counters that she only strongly corrected her on the one thing. LAying the baby on her stomach.
My MIL flips out and yells at my wife telling her she only made that mistake one time and it never happened since.
She leaves. I explain to wife in the most genlte form possible that MIL just did it again this morning. My wife almost threw up from being so upset.
I'm not sure what's going to happen today, but something is going to come to a head. I'm worried my wife is going to really let her mom have it.
It has become apparent, my MIL cannot be trusted alone with the baby.
Now it's not funny anymore. Now the baby could be in danger with her around.
And when she screws something up, either my MIL lies about it, or she is not fully within her senses anymore. Either way, it's dangerous.
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Originally posted by Muckmaw1
Apathy,
While I agree, I need to confront this, would it be better to have my wife do it?
In other words, explain to my wife, this is what I heard, you and I know it's not true and she is making me look bad to the family.
My wife is 1000% on my side here, BTW. She is ready to cry, literally, because her mom is being so difficult.
Here's a perfect example. About a week ago, my mother in law put the baby down on her stomach, and left the room. Now, anyone who is a parent at least in the last 5 years knows this is VERY DANGEROUS. It's been linked to many cases of crib-death.
My wife caught it, and explained to my mil that this was not acceptable.
Guess what happened today. My mil had the baby while I was doing E-bay. I hear the baby crying, on the monitor so I run up, needing a break from E-bay and wanting some Daddy-Daughter time. Babys on her stomach. Mother in laws not in the room. Bad.
Here's the best part. My MIL and my wife are talking today and my MIL takes the wife she is acting like a nazi, teling her what to do and how to do it, etc. My wife counters that she only strongly corrected her on the one thing. LAying the baby on her stomach.
My MIL flips out and yells at my wife telling her she only made that mistake one time and it never happened since.
She leaves. I explain to wife in the most genlte form possible that MIL just did it again this morning. My wife almost threw up from being so upset.
I'm not sure what's going to happen today, but something is going to come to a head. I'm worried my wife is going to really let her mom have it.
It has become apparent, my MIL cannot be trusted alone with the baby.
Now it's not funny anymore. Now the baby could be in danger with her around.
And when she screws something up, either my MIL lies about it, or she is not fully within her senses anymore. Either way, it's dangerous.
Don't trust her alone with the baby anymore.
eskimo
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Originally posted by eskimo2
Don't trust her alone with the baby anymore.
eskimo
We've already decided that.
We're going to have a sit-down tonight after my older daughter is asleep and talk to her.
I'm just trying to figure out how to approach it.
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"Get yer butt out"
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no, handle it yourself.
having your wife stand up for you won't do much to earn you respect. also, if the mother in-law refuses to be reasonable, you can afford to have her hate you (from her house not yours).
if your wife handles it and it goes badly, it could be an on going problem between her and her mother. you don't want to risk that any more than you have to in dealing with the problem. very few women can have a major conflict with their mother and be happy for very long. and if your wife isn't happy you won't be happy.
think out what you intend to say first, what you intend to say to likely responses from her. no yelling, no exaggerating the problem, no threats(simply tell her what is acceptable and if she doesn't comply ask her to leave. no do this or else, thats for kids not adults). give her no ammunition, nothing, no matter how small that she can focus on to avoid missing the point and making you the bad guy. pick the time so that no one unexpected comes in and makes it public and unnecessarily embarrassing for her.
you should handle it but your wife should be there too. you are gonna have a hard time getting through to the MIL if she offended from having to listen to her own child teach her about manners.
I'd recommend having your wife in the room and watching so your MIL knows you have your wifes support but avoid joining so the MIL won't feel like you're ganging up on her. she should be ready to say she is also offended by the behavior and completely supports your need to put a stop too it, but only if your MIL tries to drag her into it with the "are you going to let him talk to me that way". if this happens she needs to be clear and don't back down. no "leave me out of this" or "you guys work it out", you are married she needs to let it be known that you guys won't be divided by this kind of thing.
if you aren't able to put a stop to the gossip and BS, at least by confronting it, and your wife showing support, you will significantly reduce the amount of bad-mouthing her family is willing to do in front of her.
even if it gets ugly the practice in teamwork will come in real handy when the kids get older.
also your standing up for yourself (And your family/home) shows your wife that you are willing to protect your family.
her backing you up, especially when the problem is her mother (no small or easy thing to do) lets you know you can trust her to stick by you when things get ugly. having made it through this she will find it much easier to speak up and put a stop to it if her family starts talking trash when she is alone with them, or worse if they do it in front of your kids.
all of these things will go a lot farther to strengthen your marriage than to let the MIL continue to undermine you.
and the most important thing. remember your need to have her support you in this conflict, if someone in your family is ever dis-respectful to her.
if I had to name the most important thing in keeping my marriage together for the last 20 years, it would have to be -
not to let anybody come between you, not family, friends or even your kids. deal with every insult or slander to your spouse at least twice as seriously as if it were done to you.
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Originally posted by capt. apathy
I couldn't dis-agree more with this part of your post.
if you want to kill a marriage, just let the partners lose respect for each other.
having it become common in her family for them to talk trash about you is a nice seed to start killing any respect your wife has for you. it wasn't just the mother in-law who thought this was OK, there was someone on the other end of the conversation too.
in any relationship, from your marriage to your dealings with the kid at the drive-up window, you teach people how to treat you. every single time you allow people treating you like crap, you're teaching them and anyone who observes it (including your wife and kids) that either -
1. it's OK to treat people this way
2. it's OK to allow people to treat you this way
3. that the gossip must be true because you don't confront it
4. that you won't do anything if abused, so it's OK to be dis-respectful, abusive, rude or inconsiderate to you
which one (or more) of those messages do you want to send to your wife and kids?
how long before your wife and kids make the transition from overhearing this sort of thing, to having people do it in front of them, to them joining in, to providing ammo for the in-laws, to your kids thinking you are a joke, to your wife losing respect for you and looking for a husband she can respect.
maybe you could just put up with it for awhile. just let it go while you put up with it. at least until the day you can't take it any more and have a nice and usually public melt-down. that way talking trash about you won't just be fun for the gossips in the family. the people who know about the family gossips, and don't put much weight behind what the gossips say about others, get to join in the fun. because when you finally can't take it anymore and lose control, you will prove the gossips right and demonstrate what a clown you can be.
it is way better to deal with this sort of thing early on when it is just annoying and unacceptable. wait until you are mad to act and you will likely do or say something you regret, making you the unreasonable one.
it is not unreasonable or hostile to demand people to treat you with respect. this goes double in your own home. triple if these people have any contact with your wife and children.
what is unreasonable is to repeatedly let people treat you badly and then, after you've spent all that time teaching them that you find that sort of treatment acceptable, one day decide you've had enough and suddenly change the rules on them.
Heya Capt., I wouldn't respond if anyone else posted this, but you and I agree on just about every issue, and we have similar lives, so here goes-
Let's take a hypothetical- Your mother in law is visiting- she's riding you pretty hard, obviously you don't like each other- so, things come to a head, and you have two options-
1) Get angry, make her leave, scream, stomp off all pissed off
2) Put up with it, tune her out but keep a Prozac-like smile on your face, make up a short-timers' calandar, celebrate when she's gone, or-
Well...we're on the opposite ends of this one, Captain. ;)
Respect? I've reacted with option No.1 a few times- Get angry, refuse to have her in my home and me visit hers, etc., etc.- every time she's pissed me off it was all her fault, of course- (it's like prison in this thread- we're all innocent men)- but I quit doing that and it's been almost two years since she last found the right button to push, triggering a meltdown.
I quit Option No. 1 because I didn't want my daughter seeing me kick Grandma out on the streets. That was one reason. Also because my wife appreciated it- she knows her Mom's wretched at times, and she's anxiously watched for my reaction at some of her Mom's more vile insults directed at me- and she respects and appreciates the fact I can remain civil.
Apathy, you said this-
"having it become common in her family for them to talk trash about you is a nice seed to start killing any respect your wife has for you."
And I say-
"remaining civil in the face of rudeness from your in- laws will gain the respect of your wife."
One way to find out- Ask your wife. Show her this Thread (mine has read it already) and ask what she thinks- then post again. In fact every married man here who has a strained relationship shold show this thread to their wife- it might open a dialog and you might be surprised at what they'd say.
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Believe it or not, my wife and I are doing so great, it is beyond belief!
I hope the PPD does not come around like it did after the birth of our first.
However, we are getting along even better with her mother in law in the house. Why? Because my wife sees it as an US-Vs.-Her type deal. Whenever her mom pisses her off...and she has...ALOT, more than me...the wife comes and vents to me, and I listen attentively. She really appreciates it.
23 days.
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So how did the conversation go with your MIL last night? All OK?
eskimo
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I'll take #1 but do it before I get so pissed that I do the stomping and yelling thing.
the trick is refuse to put up with it while you are still the more reasonable of the people involved.
there is no reason to let your temper get the best of you so you look like a clown. just tell people what they are doing that is unacceptable and if they refuse to change it, show them the door.
early in our marriage I had one of my wifes sisters spending the weekend with us. she continually put her 2 cents in on pretty much every aspect of our lives. from telling me what household chores should be mine to criticizing the way we raised our son.
I mentioned to her where the line was as far as what was her business and what subjects she should just STFU about while under my roof. she wasn't much of a listener and her mouth continued to run for the next half hour or so.
when I decided she obviously didn't think she needed to pay attention to what I said, I just stepped out the front door into the hallway. I then stepped back in and said "hey, check this out"
she stepped out into the hall, looked around and asked "what?" just as I shut and locked the door behind her. I then went into the kitchen, tossed my wife the car keys and told her her sister was ready to go home.
I never yelled, I never threatened, I never even stopped being friendly. I simply removed the problem from my home.
the sister was pretty pissed off (after standing in the cold hallway for 25 minutes, beating on the door while I explained to my wife why her sisters visit was cut short) and word of this got around the wifes family pretty fast. her mom and other sisters were outraged. her step dad told them all that she had no reason to complain about it, that I had warned her she was over the line and that she was lucky to have gotten a ride home.
the whole mess blew over about 3-4 days later after all of the gossips ran out of things to say about it.
the only real thing that lingered from it is that when I told people what I would and wouldn't put up with, they took me seriously.
by making the point early I didn't have any more real issues after that. just a couple small times where the MIL or a sister would start to cross the line, but they never pushed it when I told them what behavior I would and wouldn't put up with from any guest in my home.
with the exception of your wife and kids, there are only 2 types of people you are going to find in your home - guests and intruders. if they stop acting like guests then they are intruders, and should be dealt with accordingly.
compromise and tolerance are generally positive attributes. but on something as cut and dried as respecting someone while under their roof, or undermine the respect and authority between you and your family, there is no grey areas. there is no '2 sides to the issue'. it's wrong, and it will kill your family if allowed to grow. it is your job to protect your family, and control the influences your children see and the messages they take from it. if you allow it to continue you are simply not doing your job as a husband or a father.
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All I can say is, "Good luck Muckmaw," and I hope you all survive.
When I was very young, I married a woman and inherited a beast of a mother-in-law also. I feel your pain, brother.
I know this is not your case, but in a few years, my wife started looking and acting closer and closer to the beast. They are now but a distant memory as my first wife and ex-mother-in-law.
Now I'm going to make you sick. My (2nd) wife is Japanese (and so are her parents :) ) and they live very close to us. My mother-in-law is the same age as me and her daughter (my wife) is well... a little younger than me.
I'm away on a business trip right now and when I get back, the mother-in-law will have cut the grass and fixed the fence, done the dishes, cleaned the house and washed my clothes, cooked some food for me and left it on the table a few minutes before I get home.
She feels sorry for me since the wife went on vacation to Bali with a few friends while I've been away on business.
As goofy as Japan can seem to many who have never been here, or been here for only a short time, the 'men are men and women are women' culture is something to behold. The women are not oppressed or angry wenches - they do it willingly and get enjoyment from taking care of their men - including extended family men.
See? There is hope in the world!
(Good luck, muck)
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Originally posted by Rolex
All I can say is, "Good luck Muckmaw," and I hope you all survive.
When I was very young, I married a woman and inherited a beast of a mother-in-law also. I feel your pain, brother.
I know this is not your case, but in a few years, my wife started looking and acting closer and closer to the beast. They are now but a distant memory as my first wife and ex-mother-in-law.
Now I'm going to make you sick. My (2nd) wife is Japanese (and so are her parents :) ) and they live very close to us. My mother-in-law is the same age as me and her daughter (my wife) is well... a little younger than me.
I'm away on a business trip right now and when I get back, the mother-in-law will have cut the grass and fixed the fence, done the dishes, cleaned the house and washed my clothes, cooked some food for me and left it on the table a few minutes before I get home.
She feels sorry for me since the wife went on vacation to Bali with a few friends while I've been away on business.
As goofy as Japan can seem to many who have never been here, or been here for only a short time, the 'men are men and women are women' culture is something to behold. The women are not oppressed or angry wenches - they do it willingly and get enjoyment from taking care of their men - including extended family men.
See? There is hope in the world!
(Good luck, muck)
Wow, you live in Japan? What do you do there? Where exactly do you live? (not like I know Japan) What does the area that you live in look like?
eskimo
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there is no reason to let your temper get the best of you so you look like a clown. just tell people what they are doing that is unacceptable and if they refuse to change it, show them the door.
I did just that with my father in law one christmas eve. He had been drinking, the more he drinks the more he gripes. I gave him 2 choices, 1) he could stop griping. 2) he could use the door.
He didnt stop griping so I escorted him to the door.
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Thank GOD my wife's family lives in Japan.
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I love my mother in law, but then she is kinda hot for a 55 year old woman and i knew her before i knew my "wife" cause as some of you know she is also my best friends mother :)
Every time she comes by to help I get extra time to myself and this lovley bbs.
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Tell us more about the farting.... This day's been way to serious.
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THREAD DOES NOT DELIVER.
Muckmaw.... What ended up happening?
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Originally posted by Nash
THREAD DOES NOT DELIVER.
Muckmaw.... What ended up happening?
maybe MIL went off on him just guessing.
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I have the perfect relationship with my Mother-In-Law - NONE!
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General update:
The farting continues.
Last night, my wife served Chili. My MIL was sitting at the dining room table chowing down, and I just sat there glaring at my wife, with the " Do you relize what you've done" look on my face.
20 days to go.
The laundry continues. Did I mention she does laundry every day? I know I should appreciate it, but I just got my electric bill. It literally doubled from last month. For some reason, she has to do laundry every day, regardless of how big the load is. You could put a sock in the hamper and some type of alarm goes off. Must be a senior citizen thing.
So I hear my older daughter crying in her bed yesterday. I ask er what the problem is. She tells me Grandma told her to hang up her clothes or else. She said she tried, but at 4 years old, she can't work these special hangars they make for small clothes. They've got these metal clips that are pretty hard to undo. Anyway, I help her put the clothes on the hangar and she dutifully puts them away.
There's another fart. Someone step on a duck?
Anyway, I come down and tell MIL that my daughter cannot do the clips on the hangar and one has to help her.
She turns around and in a rude fashion asks: "Says Who?"
Now I just left my daughter and it bothers me when I make her cry, let alone someone else.
"Says me" is my reply.
I did not lose my temper but made it clear, this was time for her to STFU and respect my authoritai.
We're good on that one.
Fart.
Ok, so now we've got 10 people coming in, staying in our 3 bedroom house overnight.
THis ought to get interesting.
She's playing the good grandma right now. You know, trying to act like she's enjoying the kids because people are here.
Even my wife is giving me looks like, "Oh geez, she must be kidding.
I think I'll have a glass of wine.
Lazs, is it a felony when you just point a rifle at someone or is that a misdemeanor? No reason....just curious. :D
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is it a felony when you just point a rifle at someone or is that a misdemeanor? No reason....just curious.
legally, you're screwed either way. the only real difference is that if you pull the trigger it limits the versions of the story that are recorded.
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The main thing is that you and your wife are on the same page and are united. Remember, it has to be embarassing when she sees her Mom acting badly, and by being understanding you may attain that most elusive of gifts a married man might recieve... Oral sex.
I really, truly wish you luck.
:aok
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the great world of AH ...
you can get daily news
current recreational activities
Heated debates
Hangings
world events
Buyers guide
And family consoling all in one place ..
Woooo Hooooo :D
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Roscoroo, you forgot walks on the beach. ;)
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Originally posted by capt. apathy
legally, you're screwed either way. the only real difference is that if you pull the trigger it limits the versions of the story that are recorded.
Nobody pulled the trigger. It just went off. Errrr wait, he was cleaning it. Yeah, yeah. Cleaning it. Thats the ticket..........
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Originally posted by Muckmaw1
20 days to go.
LMAO!!!!! :rofl