Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Stringer on November 19, 2004, 08:16:43 AM
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Saur and SW,
Your Pirate School intrigues me, I must know more!
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I wanna know when we get to play with the cannons!
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Pirate School is for learning the tricks of the trade. Really isn't many tricks other than stealin' and stabbin', but there is a fine art to stabbin'. Stealin' comes naturally when you have nothing 'cuz it all got stolen.
Pirate language is the first highly intensive course. We get you liqoured up and then teach you how to ramble. After the first week, your pirate speak is as solid as a rock - and so is your liver.
Then comes the stabbin' part. We train you on soft fruits at first, and then move up to stabbin' hobos. No one misses them, and it's the best practice. Especially since they try to hobble away like a peg legged captain, which helps greatly while attempting to commandeer your first vessel.
After your first two months, you are ready to start stealin'. Well actually, if you haven't learned by now - you get stabbed. BUT! You can't be a pirate without a scar.
Firing cannons is a two day course, fairly straight forward but there are a lot of mishaps. Perhaps it's due to poor cannon manufacturing, or complete inebriation, but what you do learn is invaluable for reigning terror down on whatever you please.
The last week of Pirate School is spent getting acquainted with your pirate monkey. He's fully trained in the art of stabbin' and stealin', but he needs to get use to you telling him what to stab and what to steal. Plus, they're great to drink with.
After your six month training it's time for graduation day, the day you have been waiting for. You get pirate boots and a pirate hat, and clothes left over from all the stabbed hobos. We get you liqoured up, sail you off to some place and let you loose like a pack of rabid, drunk, smelly, oddly dressed, physically deformed animals. It's up to you what you do then.
The skills you learned at Pirate School will be more than enough to defeat any ninja, or sniper with deathgrip.
-SW
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Where do I sign up?
And to think I wasted all that time at law school. If I'd only known!!!!!
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Originally posted by Dune
Where do I sign up?
And to think I wasted all that time at law school. If I'd only known!!!!!
Frankly Dune, I thought the description of pirate school was pretty much like law school's ambulance chaser 101............:p
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Originally posted by AKS\/\/ulfe
The last week of Pirate School is spent getting acquainted with your pirate monkey. He's fully trained in the art of stabbin' and stealin', but he needs to get use to you telling him what to stab and what to steal. Plus, they're great to drink with.
-SW
What are our choices for monkeys?
(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20041118/capt.sge.hhc07.181104234543.photo00.photo.default-248x380.jpg)
or
(http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/040902/040902_moore_hmed_4p.hmedium.jpg)
or
(http://home.comcast.net/~ripsnort60/Mid.jpg)
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Something's wrong with that 3rd picture... can't quite put my finger on it...
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On those monkey choices. I think we need more choices. The first one is just way too scary (and scarry). The second is way too fat and dumb, impossible to train and has no tie to reality. The third is, just....out there. :p
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Just because MT ain't posting here don't think he's not reading these forums.
A couple of you just made his list.
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Originally posted by Airhead
Just because MT ain't posting here don't think he's not reading these forums.
A couple of you just made his list.
*just* made the list? :D
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I could handle MJ, but the other two would break my back if I put them on my shoulder.
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Originally posted by Maverick
Frankly Dune, I thought the description of pirate school was pretty much like law school's ambulance chaser 101............:p
They don't give us monkeys or cannon. Huge difference!
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Originally posted by Dune
They don't give us monkeys or cannon. Huge difference!
I can understand why they didn't. You could put an eye out with them and the monkey couldn't see where to go or what to do.
:rofl :rofl :rofl :aok ;)
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Originally posted by Dune
They don't give us monkeys or cannon. Huge difference!
Perps and evidence.
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Appears SWulfe has more competition out there!
http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~elliottk/pirate/pirate.html
(Damn, if that don't look like Funkedup when he was half the man he is today :p )
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one common mistake of the pirate noob-
remember it's pilage THEN burn.
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Originally posted by capt. apathy
one common mistake of the pirate noob-
remember it's pilage THEN burn.
Another common mistake: It's kill the LIVESTOCK and molest the WOMEN.
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That is no mistake, Maverick....
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Originally posted by Airhead
Perps and evidence.
The cops wont let us play with them until the trial. And the judge gets all pissy and **** when you give the jury a live-fire demonstration in his court.
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Saur doesmt know much of anything. This is SW's brainchild, Saur just fronted the money.
So y'all sign up, now and make him rich so we dont have to keep stealin' and stabbin'.
Please, do it for Tweetybird (my monkey)... he hasnt had decent grog in weeks.
Love,
Saur's First (and often) Mate,
(http://users.pandora.be/eek/vic/keith/PirateGirl.jpg)
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Aye, we need your HAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRd earned cash.
-SW