Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: tapakeg on December 29, 2004, 12:10:56 AM
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I remember seeing the preview to this movie while in the theater to watch another movie. I remember my response was that it was going to be an all time stinker. Like a train wreck I was compelled to watch it. I would never pay money to see it and give them anything, but I happened to stumble upon it while it was on HBO.
It was bad, REALLY BAD I felt very sorry for the actors on the screen that they had to endure the humiliation of what was the final product. I wanted to physically pull them out of the movie i felt so sorry for them. I can't believe somewhere, sometime ago, a group of people got done with the shots, sound, special effects, final touches.........stepped back, and all concluded that it was what they wanted. The final action-chase sequence was such an insult to watch. WERE THEY SERIOUS? Did they mean to make it that bad, or were they kinda wanting to make it a comedy?
ready yet?
Think of the worst movie ever, and check this out, THIS IS THE ALL TIME STINKER MOVIE
TORQUE (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0329691/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnxteD0yMHxzZz0xfGxtPTIwMHx0dD1vbnxwbj0wfHE9dG9ycXVlfGh0bWw9MXxubT1vbg__;fc=1;ft=21;fm=1)
There it is, what is your ALL TIME WORST MOVIE? please no B movies. They are supposed to be bad. Try to list movies that people try to take seriously and BOMB !!!!!!
We all know Ferenheight 911 is there also, ( I just took away 20 posts with that mention )
Tapakeg
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I really liked the Billy Jack movies but the first one born losers was a real stinker
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Elf.
It was awful.
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Elf was at least cute. How does Torque compare to 'Spice World'?
For me, the worse film will remain "Wax: The discovery of television among the bees."
It's worse then it sounds.
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Originally posted by Chairboy
Elf was at least cute.
Ahhhh maybe... I dunno, I thought Will Ferrel's kid act was more annoying then cute, but I did laugh here and there I suppose.
Actually if you want a really crummy movie go rent "Octopus" (it came out a few years ago). Awful. Actually, without a doubt, the worst I've ever seen.
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Toys.
Karaya
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Alexander......By far the greatest dissapointment of a movie....worst acting in a big production film, story was "Gay", and action was too few and far between.
What a waste of time.
RHIN0
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Originally posted by kevykev56
Alexander......By far the greatest dissapointment of a movie....worst acting in a big production film, story was "Gay", and action was too few and far between.
What a waste of time.
LMAO! Haha ya I figured that movie wasn't going to go over so well as soon as I heard they were trying to make it "historical" (and having not seen the film I will use that word *very* lightly).
My friend was all psyched about seeing it, he loves those action war movies, couldn't wait. Then I tell him "you know they're going to portray Alexander somewhat acurately..."
He never went. :)
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Yeah, I was only disappointed in TROY, but i hear Alexander is awful.
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Mission To Mars
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TORQUE
OMFG!!!
The last 15 mins of the movie was sooo cartoonish that we :lol :rofl 'till the movie ends.
da worst movie ever!
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The remake of King kong
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let me guess... half on the movies that came out in '04 are the WORST, right?
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i think it was called "stranded".
it was one of those "trapped on mars, find
ancient civilization, get saved" movies. but bad...really really bad.
the only redeeming quality was that the girl from pulp fiction....the french girl who likes blueberry pancakes was in it.
i spent the full length of the movie trying to discern the exact proportions of her nipples.
can i say that here?
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Was mission to mars the one with Gary Sinise? When he wouldn't put on his helmet for no reason when they were losing air pressure in space?
yeah bad
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Originally posted by JB88
i think it was called "stranded".
it was one of those "trapped on mars, find
ancient civilization, get saved" movies. but bad...really really bad.
I saw that movie with my sister. We were cracking jokes the whole time about how sad it was. I actually think that movie qualifies as low grade B.
Worst movie evar? Wendigo.
I promise you, where the critics found terrifying horror, you will find unlimited comedy.
-SW
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Ice Cube - Trey?
eskimo
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The last 15 mins of the movie was sooo cartoonish that we 'till the movie ends.
Yeah, I kept waiting for Wiley Coyote to join the race on the Acme Rocket Bike. At that point in the movie I would not have been surprised.
The movie had more conveniently placed ramps than a whole season of the Dukes of Hazzard
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Open Water.
Who wants to see a film of 2 people stuck out at sea for 2 hours, with the weird director randomly zooming in on stuff every so often.
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Barton Fink. The Cohen brothers obviously experimented with Peyote or LSD and had a bad batch.
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cool world
shocker
only two movies where i actually left the theater
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I'm a big B-movie fan and generally, they are not "supposed to be bad" but are supposed to be artsy or powerful and end up being bad. But, not so bad that they escape being funny (laugh at not laugh with) and easy to bust on. Greaser's Palace is the "best" B-movie IMO (one of Time Magazine's top 10 movies of 1971 :lol), the "Story of Rikki" for the martial arts catagory... an endless list.
However, there are movies that are just plain bad. Not funny bad, not mockable bad, but BAD. I don't want to crack a joke because my mind is too numb to care bad. For me, the most recent one I was forced to watch with the wife (and she though it sucked too) was:
THE SWEETEST THING
The pitch meeting for The Sweetest Thingmust have sounded fantastic. 'Let's reunite Cameron Diaz with Farrelly Brothers' associate and Cruel Intentions director Roger Kumble and make a There's Something About Mary comedy for girls!' No doubt the producers' eyes were bulging at the thought of the cash that would flow in, but first there was the small matter of La Diaz's salary (a reported $15m). But hey - not to worry - There's Something About Mary took nearly $200m in the United States alone so surely this new project can't go wrong. Or can it?
Unfortunately for all concerned, and especially for anyone unlucky enough to have to sit through this horrendous mess (all 89 minutes of it), pretty much everything went wrong. The film limped in with just under $25m at the American Box Office and reviews which suggested that it was one of the year's weakest offerings. Now that it is being mercilessly foisted on the rest of the world the truth can be revealed: it is the worst film your reviewer has had the misfortune of seeing this year.
In what barely passes for a plot, Diaz plays a San Francisco singleton who just never meets the right guy. When she goes to a club one night with her buddies Selma Blair and Christina Applegate she bumps into Thomas Jane (a great actor who really should get a better agent) and decides he is the one. However, there is a slight problem in that Mr Jane is about to be married. With cheeky aplomb Diaz decides that the marriage will not take place as she should be the rightful bride.
All of this is merely an excuse for the worst collection of grossout jokes in recent memory. Some of the scenes in The Sweetest Thing are so bad that they make other notable flops in the genre (Say It Isn't So and Outside Providence spring to mind) look like works by Kurosawa. They also put into perspective the fact that films of this type which actually work (There's Something About Mary and both American Pies) are indeed very good example of how to portray comic timing on screen.
But here we have downright embarrassing moments in which the three girls variously have sex with large furry rabbits, get covered in goo in a men's urinal, and actually mount a full on musical number called 'Your noodle is too big' to the tune of Right Said Fred's I'm Too Sexy. None of this is made up.
Surely now is the time for an international amnesty on this type of film. Perhaps all existing copies could be returned and burned and we could find it in our hearts to forgive those who inflicted them upon us. But even after sitting through a mere hour and a half of this rubbish forgiveness seems a long time away.
The review actually makes it sound more entertaing (even by B-flick standards) than it is... by far.
Charon
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Ishtar
Ever try watching it? Very painful
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roller ball...nothing worse than a ****ty bellybutton movie based of a even worse short story, for once the deviations from the book were a thing to be thankfull for...
theres a version of journey to the center of the earth made in the 80's that comes pretty close though...
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Originally posted by vorticon
roller ball...nothing worse than a ****ty bellybutton movie based of a even worse short story, for once the deviations from the book were a thing to be thankfull for...
theres a version of journey to the center of the earth made in the 80's that comes pretty close though...
I liked the original movie.
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"Manos the hands of fate"
Filmed entirely with a handheld camera that could only record thirty seconds of film at a time. The film was shot without sound; all the lines were later dubbed by only three people - two men and one woman.
The cameraman didn't manage to get the passing car into the frame.
The actress who was supposed to react to this car missed her cue.
#The director contemplated the situation for a while before telling the actress to carry on acting.
The actress reacted by looking at the director, then back at the guy she was making out with, then into the lens, and then finally in the direction she should have looked twenty seconds ago.
Somehow, this take made it to the final cut of the movie by accident.
The movie was given a gala premiere in El Paso upon its release, and many of the local dignitaries were on hand. Part way into the film, many people in the audience began to heckle the movie. Many of the film's stars and crewmembers snuck out before the end out of embarrassment.
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ROTFLMAO....did all of you actually see these STINKERS in order to find out they were awful. No wonder the movie industry turns out such garbage. They know you guys will see them. They know they're gonna bomb, but, hey, they'll shrug about it all the way to the bank: quantity, not quality. I'll give most of you the benefit of the doubt and say your sig other, or your kids, made ya go.
At least, that's what my excuse is for seeing the second Princess movie.:o :lol
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"Prayer of the rollerboys"
This is the worst movie ever...
Where should i begin.. Tough guys on rollerblades, drugs, bad cops, Corey Haim.. wtf...... I said tough guys on rollerblades.. yeah their nazi too...
The story is about mist (some new synthetic drug destroying the fabric of society) when the hero Corey Haim starts prouncing as a secret agent after getting a promotion from being a pizza delivery person on roller blades.. It gets better..
http://www.sleazegrinder.com/garb_9-13rollerboys.htm
heres a good write up on it.. I dont know whats scarier the movie itself or the movie reviews on Amazon.com our nation has finally fallen from grace....
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-reviews/6304601875/104-5816729-5815945?%5Fencoding=UTF8
(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/6304601875.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg)
Go rent this one... if you can make thru the whole movie ill give you a cookie...
DoctorYo
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Remeber the dark ages of porn? You know the 80s, when all the hos had poofed out hair, and looping of footage ala "Speed" to make the scene twice as long was practiced universally?
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If y'all ever see Afterburn on HBO, check it out. It's from 1992, about Cpt. Harduval's fatal F-16 crash during a training accident. Evidence showed that it was an electrical problem, but it was written off as pilot error. I never personally met Cpt. Harduval, but his widow (Janet) & daughter (Kiki) were my nextdoor neighbors when I lived in Tampa. They came over in tears the night they lost the court case. It hits pretty close to home for me.
(http://www.hbo.com/films/img/archive/a_afterburn.jpg)
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And because of this you think that it's the worst movie ever? :confused:
I do remember seeing the movie. Instruments said he was flying top-side-up when he was actually flying upsidedown. And he pulled up to gain altitude:(
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rock and roll high school
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Originally posted by JB73
rock and roll high school
On behalf of Ramones fans everywhere I'd just like to say. Go to hell and die you old bastard.
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Originally posted by Suave
And because of this you think that it's the worst movie ever? :confused:
I do remember seeing the movie. Instruments said he was flying top-side-up when he was actually flying upsidedown. And he pulled up to gain altitude:(
No, no, I'm totally off topic. I enjoyed the movie. I just saw people commenting on HBO stuff, so I chipped in my $0.02. If I thought it was worst, I wouldn't have urged people to watch it :)
Yeah, that is what happened. Was in a thick cloudbank, instruments said he was top-side-up, pulled back on the stick and fed it power to climb. Ended up accelerating into the base of a mountain.
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Elf - What a dumb-arse movie of all time!
Putting aside the fairy-tale of Santa, Will Farrel's character "Buddy" was supposed to be 100% normal human. So, how is it that he somehow has super-human powers?
In Santa's North pole, you could say he was somehow protected in the "magic" of things there, however, once away from the pole, how is it that he managed to get to NYC without food, shelter, transportation or money?
Where did he get the super-accurate rapid fire snowball throwing ability?
How did he survive eating only candy his entire life?
Why do I care?
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Originally posted by Suave
On behalf of Ramones fans everywhere I'd just like to say. Go to hell and die you old bastard.
i meant :
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100504/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnxteD0yMHxzZz0xfGxtPTIwMHx0dD1vbnxwbj0wfHE9cm9jayBhbmQgcm9sbCBoaWdoIHNjaG9vbHxodG1sPTF8bm09b24_;fc=2;ft=3;fm=1
rock and roll high school forever
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Watch enough movies, and you'll see some bad ones that's for sure.
Worst movie I can think of: "The Breed." But I'm not sure how bad it really was. A friend of mine worked on it, and when I watched it, he was constantly complaining about it, and explaining how and why certain aspects sucked.
Worst movie I've seen recently: "The Whole Ten Yards" I really liked the first movie, but in retrospect, maybe it was just Amanda Peet's tits that I liked?
Worst Movie that a lot of other people seem to like: "The Graduate" Now there's a movie where nearly all of the characters need a good punch in the face.
-Sik
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I actually liked Torque. Sure parts of it were stupidly funny, and the ending was totally lame, but the action scenes were cool and it was nice to see a movie about bikes for a change instead of a bunch of laughing-gas snorters in import cars zooming around for 2 hours.
I got a good laugh out of the scene with IceCube talking into the cell phone without taking his helmet off. Thats not even considering wind noise and engine noise from all those bikes in close proximity, but it really wasnt a show about anything to do with reality to start with. It may not have been an artistic masterpiece, but I enjoyed it.
Now for lamest movie of all time? The 3 Amigos. I expected to laugh my prettythang off, and ended up falling asleep.
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Originally posted by StarOfAfrica2
Now for lamest movie of all time? The 3 Amigos. I expected to laugh my prettythang off, and ended up falling asleep.
that one too.... except for the end when Rebecca Ferratti comes out of nowhere...
hubba hubba
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how bout this one
http://aqvist.bmc.uu.se/dombo/videos/burningfart.mov
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Hardware
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099740/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnxteD0yMHxzZz0xfGxtPTIwMHx0dD1vbnxwbj0wfHE9aGFyZHdhcmV8aHRtbD0xfG5tPW9u;fc=2;ft=9;fm=1
Sucked
Another
Slipstream
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099740/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnxteD0yMHxzZz0xfGxtPTIwMHx0dD1vbnxwbj0wfHE9aGFyZHdhcmV8aHRtbD0xfG5tPW9u;fc=2;ft=9;fm=1
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Originally posted by tapakeg
I remember seeing the preview to this movie while in the theater to watch another movie. I remember my response was that it was going to be an all time stinker. Like a train wreck I was compelled to watch it. I would never pay money to see it and give them anything, but I happened to stumble upon it while it was on HBO.
It was bad, REALLY BAD I felt very sorry for the actors on the screen that they had to endure the humiliation of what was the final product. I wanted to physically pull them out of the movie i felt so sorry for them. I can't believe somewhere, sometime ago, a group of people got done with the shots, sound, special effects, final touches.........stepped back, and all concluded that it was what they wanted. The final action-chase sequence was such an insult to watch. WERE THEY SERIOUS? Did they mean to make it that bad, or were they kinda wanting to make it a comedy?
ready yet?
Think of the worst movie ever, and check this out, THIS IS THE ALL TIME STINKER MOVIE
TORQUE (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0329691/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnxteD0yMHxzZz0xfGxtPTIwMHx0dD1vbnxwbj0wfHE9dG9ycXVlfGh0bWw9MXxubT1vbg__;fc=1;ft=21;fm=1)
There it is, what is your ALL TIME WORST MOVIE? please no B movies. They are supposed to be bad. Try to list movies that people try to take seriously and BOMB !!!!!!
We all know Ferenheight 911 is there also, ( I just took away 20 posts with that mention )
Tapakeg
CONAN THE BARBARIAN...WORST OF ALL TIME
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Originally posted by CAVY
CONAN THE BARBARIAN...WORST OF ALL TIME
Apparantly, you bailed out of the Genre before the 5,000 knock offs were released, each of which was progressively worse than its predecessor.
If Conan were bad, Red Sonja, and "The Sword and the Sorcerer" were worse.
But that brings up another genre that was ripe for bad movies: Mad Max knockoff, post apocalyptic wasteland movies. Anyone see DEFCON4? Or perhaps "Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone?"
-Sik
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Oh man, I just remembered Pirahna II. Flying Pirahna ! I actually saw this one.
If you think Conan is the worst movie ever you should do more research.
http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom
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Sometimes you can look at a movie cover and know that there is no possible way that it won't suck.
(http://www.x-entertainment.com/pics/cool1.jpg)
(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000G3TN.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg)
(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/6303394353.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg)
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Originally posted by Suave
Oh man, I just remembered Pirahna II. Flying Pirahna ! I actually saw this one.
If you think Conan is the worst movie ever you should do more research.
http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom
He He....you should have seen the original , the fish where cardboard.
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You can't throw corey haim or corey feldman movies into the list. They're ringers. corey feldman managed to singlehandedly kill 5 National Lampoon movies. WTF were they thinking?
I haven't seen Torque. The main reason I didn't see it was because I did see previews for it. It's just a simple case of a producer thinking "well, everyone liked 2fast2furious so let's just give them more of that... only with motorcycles." Hollywood is lost in it's own stupidty.
My most tragic outing as of late has been "Dumb and Dumberer". I went in expecting a stupid movie... and was disappointed. This may be the most ill conceived and poorly written movie of all time. I sat for an hour without chuckling even once before actually getting up and leaving a film... for the first time ever... and I managed to sit all the way through thin red line.
But I do put torque in with 2fast2furious and Driven. I'd even throw charlies angels 2 in there with it. Sometimes hollywood just needs to learn when to quit. But then... I did see a marquee for "Miss Congeniality 2" today.
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The Last Starfighter.
I wouldnt even qualify it as a kids flick. Gawd that was one baaaad movie.
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The last starfighter? nah... not even close.
I did check the imdb list... but that's a "since the internet" popularity contest. Kill Bill 1 and 2 were in the top 100?
It's hard to tell really bad from bad or really good from good until you've seen the movie a few years later. Some actually get better, others actually get worse. Alot of the movies listed at the top of the IMDB were good movies the first time... but didn't stand up to time. The most classic example is Star Wars. It was an awesome movie when it came out. I don't know that any other movie has met with that kind of box office reception since. There were littlerally lines around the block while people waited for hours to see the movie... for a whole month. I watched it again last month. I, for the life of me, can't remember why I liked the film at all.
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I liked the last star fighter. Was on par w/ the cheesyness of its time.
The worst movie I've seen to date without a doubt has to be Solaris starring George Clooney.
I tried watching this movie for about 30 minutes and literally couldnt take it anymore. I wanted to call direcTV to ask for my money back for the PPV.
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Originally posted by Gunslinger
I liked the last star fighter. Was on par w/ the cheesyness of its time.
The worst movie I've seen to date without a doubt has to be Solaris starring George Clooney.
I tried watching this movie for about 30 minutes and literally couldnt take it anymore. I wanted to call direcTV to ask for my money back for the PPV.
Have you tried the Original Soviet version of the movie? heh.
-Sik
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That Travolta flick (so many bad ones to chose from!)....Battlefield Earth. Ugh!
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OMG i forgot about Charlies Angels 2 !!!!!
(and the whole 10 yards, the first was VERY funny, second I walked out on)
I think I have an open mind, and went into the first one (Charlies Angels) and had some fun. Nothing serious, just a fun movie, but the second one was insulting to everyone who saw it. I respected the cinemetogrophy, but the COMPLETELY unbelivelbly stunts were over the top.
I don't go into Godzilla and say, " Wait a minute, there is no 150 ft. lizard like creature in NY,.......FAKE !!!!!!
I can take movies for what they are.
I respect that Neo and Morpheus are in the "Matrix" and can do the unbelievable stuff they do........" Do you think that is air you are breathing?"
But when Charlies do the things they do it is an insult to everyone except 8 year olds.
I guess the bottom line to this thread is that movies are targeted for 8-14 year olds. If Police Acadamy were to come out today we would shun it, yet I remember thinking the world of it and asking my parents to go see it again and again.
Hollywood does not matter the quality of the pictures they put out, only the dollar value they will take in. They probably have the best marketing people in the business. It does not matter if they get a 10 year old who thinks it is the bomb or a 28 year old who thinks it is a bomb, IT IS A TICKET SOLD.
Tapakeg
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suspension of disbelief.
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suspension of disbelief only gets you so far. Eventually, they end up asking to suspend too much. Charlie's Angels was a fun movie. Charlie's Angels 2 asked for way too much "suspension".
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well that is exactly what i mean. and why so many movies that have been mentioned just plain suck.
suspention of disbelief is that blurry line where the audience is no longer aware of the impossible nature of the story or the events, but rather buys into them subconsciously and allows them to take place without struggle.
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Originally posted by JB88
suspention of disbelief is that blurry line where the audience is no longer aware of the impossible nature of the story or the events, but rather buys into them subconsciously and allows them to take place without struggle.
Kinda like religion.
[/hijack]
heh
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lol
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Bill Cosby, "Leonard Part 6"
John Goodman "The Babe"
Kevin Costner "Waterworld"
Just to name a few gawdawful movies
Dan/Slack
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Not many ever agree with me on this one but......Starship Troopers.
Comon, Doogie Howser? Seriously?
And a 5'2" hero.
uh-huh, yeah great movie.
(http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2002-12/48257/CXDURLYKYJGLBLWLBATC-SWOOPXMAS.jpg)
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Originally posted by Guppy35
Bill Cosby, "Leonard Part 6"
John Goodman "The Babe"
Kevin Costner "Waterworld"
Just to name a few gawdawful movies
Dan/Slack
Doh, I liked waterworld!
Originally posted by Swoop
Not many ever agree with me on this one but......Starship Troopers.
Comon, Doogie Howser? Seriously?
And a 5'2" hero.
uh-huh, yeah great movie.
(http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2002-12/48257/CXDURLYKYJGLBLWLBATC-SWOOPXMAS.jpg)
Burn him!!!! :mad:
Tronsky
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If you've read the book the movie starship troopers really sucks. It doesnt even come close to doing what the book does.
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I dont even remmeber the name of the movie, i just remmeber dying to get out of the theater.
It was with janet jackson & 2pac, I was sick to my stomach halfway through, & I was so angry at whoever I was with for making me see such a complete waste of time, money, & use of poor acting. Ive seen some bad movies, but I could not believe how low I felt I after seeing that movie. It's like one of those 'repressed childhood memories', I'll never wan't to remember who, what, or where I was when I saw it. In fact, it still makes my skin crawl knowing I have been exposed to the bottom of the barrel of movie making, I would not even make my worst enemy watch it, it would make me sorrowful to watch the horror they would go through.
*sigh* please dont ever watch that movie.....whatever it was
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P.S. I also thought battlefield:earth was almost as sickening.....except i blame myself for watching it.....
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on TV last night:
showgirls.
OMFG worst acting EVAR!
dude that movie sucked SOOOOO BAD i could almost not turn away... had to see how truly bad it could get, thinking about this thread LOL.
worst.
movie.
evar.
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Originally posted by Seraphim
I dont even remmeber the name of the movie, i just remmeber dying to get out of the theater.
It was with janet jackson & 2pac, I was sick to my stomach halfway through, & I was so angry at whoever I was with for making me see such a complete waste of time, money, & use of poor acting. Ive seen some bad movies, but I could not believe how low I felt I after seeing that movie. It's like one of those 'repressed childhood memories', I'll never wan't to remember who, what, or where I was when I saw it. In fact, it still makes my skin crawl knowing I have been exposed to the bottom of the barrel of movie making, I would not even make my worst enemy watch it, it would make me sorrowful to watch the horror they would go through.
*sigh* please dont ever watch that movie.....whatever it was
that would be poetic justice
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107840/
sadly i knew what movie your were talking about, and i knew that poetic was in the title.
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A lot of these selections like Battlefield Earth and Showgirls fall fall more in the B-movie catagory. You can sit there with some friends and play MST3K with them from beginning to end. The really bad ones (a really finite selection) suck too much to even be funny in bad way.
Charon
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Originally posted by Seraphim
I dont even remmeber the name of the movie, i just remmeber dying to get out of the theater.
It was with janet jackson & 2pac, I was sick to my stomach halfway through, & I was so angry at whoever I was with for making me see such a complete waste of time, money, & use of poor acting. Ive seen some bad movies, but I could not believe how low I felt I after seeing that movie. It's like one of those 'repressed childhood memories', I'll never wan't to remember who, what, or where I was when I saw it. In fact, it still makes my skin crawl knowing I have been exposed to the bottom of the barrel of movie making, I would not even make my worst enemy watch it, it would make me sorrowful to watch the horror they would go through.
*sigh* please dont ever watch that movie.....whatever it was
Poetic Justice
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Originally posted by Gunslinger
If you've read the book the movie starship troopers really sucks. It doesnt even come close to doing what the book does.
The book was a political dissertation thinly disguised as a sci-fi novel. I liked it though, alot :)
Starship Troopers gets a pass from me. It can't be one of the worst of all time if it had Denise Richards in it. She's hot.
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This one has a lot of promise in the B-film category, but may just be plain bad -- have to rent it. Vincent Gallo is a class A ass, pretentious NY "art scene" celeb who decided that male model wasn't enough -- he was going to be a writer, director, actor. Apparently he does all poorly (have to find out first hand), but of course, some find him deep. Real oral sex with his former girlfriend Chloë Sevigny (another self-made NY celeb) for "artistic" purposes and a bit part for Cheryl Tiegs round out the picture.
Okay, "The Brown Bunny" is a 7 minute movie that is dragged on for 93 painful minutes. How does this happen? Well, it's pretty clear to me that Vincent Gallo really likes the look of his own stubbly face from really close up. I came to this conclusion when I realized it accounts for about twenty to twenty-five minutes of the movie. Then you add in that Vincent Gallo owns a very nice motorcycle...that he likes to show off. The motorcycle doesn't actually take up to much of the screen time (unfortunately), but it does allow some kind of premise. What really bugs me is that there are people who think that this movie was deep. It's not, I can see how the basic premise could be turned into something deep and artistic. But a bad motorcycle driver who has a thing for chics named after flowers and imagines his dead drug addict girlfriend giving him head is not deep by itself, and it doesn't help just to have long scenes of traffic and a not very attractive stubbly mans face. The only reason this movie has gotten any recognition whatsoever is the shock value of showing a [BJ] in a non-skin flick. So once again, WTF?
Charon
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What was that one really bad movie about some kid who would just go fly the Air Force F16s? Iron Eagle? Horrible.
Anything by Golum Globus was really bad.
So many bad movies, so little enthusiasm to list them.
dago
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Originally posted by Charon
This one has a lot of promise in the B-film category, but may just be plain bad -- have to rent it. Vincent Gallo is a class A ass, pretentious NY "art scene" celeb who decided that male model wasn't enough -- he was going to be a writer, director, actor. Apparently he does all poorly (have to find out first hand), but of course, some find him deep. Real oral sex with his former girlfriend Chloë Sevigny (another self-made NY celeb) for "artistic" purposes and a bit part for Cheryl Tiegs round out the picture.
Charon
I haven't seen the film, but I recall this exchange in the press:
Roger Ebert called the "The Brown Bunny" "the worst in the history of Cannes" to which Vincent Gallo responded that Ebert was a "fat pig with the physique of a slave trader." Ebert paraphrased a remark of Winston Churchill's and responded that "although I am fat, one day I will be thin, but Mr. Gallo will still have been the director of 'Brown Bunny'." Gallo then put a "hex" on Ebert's colon, to which Ebert responded that "even my colonoscopy was more entertaining than his film."
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Star Ship Troopers 2. (never saw "1", was surfing last night and was intrigued of how terrible a typical hollyweird movie can really be)
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I've read all that stuff Sikboy. He's a real ass. I would love to check out the b-film potential of this movie, but the only thing holding me back is the prospect of giving Gallo any money in the process.
Charon
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Entrapment.
It lures you in with Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Awful (who, at the time, was hot), and with the promise of some cool high tech cat burglar action. It then proceeds to stomp on your nuts and subjects you to a story line that makes even Independence Day seem plausible in comparison.
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Originally posted by SOB
Entrapment.
It lures you in with Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Awful (who, at the time, was hot), and with the promise of some cool high tech cat burglar action. It then proceeds to stomp on your nuts and subjects you to a story line that makes even Independence Day seem plausible in comparison.
Absolutely 100% perfect writeup.
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SOB i own it, if only for the shot of zeta jones butt in the air.
hotness can overcome alot...
and the story was not as bad as say roadhouse
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You sicken me.
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A very brady sequal. nuff said.
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
Star Ship Troopers 2. (never saw "1", was surfing last night and was intrigued of how terrible a typical hollyweird movie can really be)
It was a direct-to-video, low budget movie with a first time director and a cast of unknowns.
I haven't seen it, don't doubt it was bad, but I wouldn't call it typical.
-Sik
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Yeah, Entrapment was so ridiculous in it's plausability as to make a person want to vomit, but CZJ was freaking hot in it.
dago
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Originally posted by JB73
on TV last night:
showgirls.
OMFG worst acting EVAR!
dude that movie sucked SOOOOO BAD i could almost not turn away... had to see how truly bad it could get, thinking about this thread LOL.
you watched showgirls for the story??!?!
you must be...wel you must not like naked women, if you know what I mean
but you do like Zeta's butt. very intriguing.
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Worst that I've seen in a long time was "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow." Not at ALL what I expected it to be.
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Originally posted by spitfiremkv
you watched showgirls for the story??!?!
you must be...wel you must not like naked women, if you know what I mean
but you do like Zeta's butt. very intriguing.
no TBS doesn't show nekid women in prime time, and i was just watching the acting.
i couldnt tell you a single plot line other then the chick for that high school show got angre and threw stuff at everything.
the acting was so hammed up i was litterally laughing and waiting for her to get PO'd at someone, talking to my TV "dont make her angry, she'll throw stuff at you"
it was truly pathetic, an embarrassment to anyone associated with the movie.
striptease with demi was at least sexy, and a bit twisted (the dryer lint and all).
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i have to say biggest dissapointment and waste of money i got for a dvd was dare devil,,with it cast of actors and high ratings i thought it was going to be much better than it was,,,i never watched it again,,too predictable,,,only cool dude in the show was the bullseye guy,,lol and he was just a good aim,,nothing really super heroish at all,,lol
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Originally posted by JB73
no TBS doesn't show nekid women in prime time, and i was just watching the acting.
The theatrical release had more tits than a diary farm.
And even that didn't keep it from sucking. Just kept it from being the worst ever lol
-Sik
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Whatever it was ... I don't remember the name of it ... thats how bad it was.
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"Solaris" with George Clooney. My wife and I went and she wanted to leave the theater and she's a huge Clooney fan. Recommended if you want to get some deep sleep.
:rolleyes:
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Lately anything with BEN AFFLECK in it. I can't believe Hollywood still pays this guy. He's made more bombs lately than I can recall. Matt Damons coat tails sure are tough cause he's hanging on tight (G.I. Joe Kung Fu Death Grip). And to think he laughs all the way to the bank. That might just put him at the top of CAVY's "Most Annoying Person List" for me.
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a story line that makes even Independence Day seem plausible in comparison.
You mean the fact that they defeated the aliens by planting a computer virus into their mainframe? WHAT ARE THEY RUNNING DOS? Windows98? XP? I can't get a Macintosh to talk to a PC and they wrote a computer virus for an alien species?
i don't know what you are talking about on the unbelievable plot.
Yeah Daredevil sucked. The only thing that can resurect Ben's career now is to do an insurance commercial with a duck.
Tapakeg
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Clearly, none of you people have seen Moulin Rouge.
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Originally posted by 2stony
"Solaris" with George Clooney. My wife and I went and she wanted to leave the theater and she's a huge Clooney fan. Recommended if you want to get some deep sleep.
:rolleyes:
I actually did fall asleep ten minutes into this movie. I can't even vote for it as the Worst Movie EVER 'cause I never saw most of the film.
Swoop...I do disagree with you on the first Starship Troopers. :) I would have hated it if I expected it to be as cool as they "could have made it" but basically I went in thinking "Robo Cop meets Big Bugs" and wasn't disappointed at all.
Worst Movie Ever for me was probably ."Attack of The Killer Tomatoes" (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0080391/) but that is what I liked about that movie. It was sooooo bad it was good.
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Originally posted by indy007
The book was a political dissertation thinly disguised as a sci-fi novel. I liked it though, alot :)
Starship Troopers gets a pass from me. It can't be one of the worst of all time if it had Denise Richards in it. She's hot.
I thought Dina Meyer (Dizzy) was hotter...
Tronsky
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"Chicago" sucked pretty hard.
I saw that pos on a plane to Florida.
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Clearly, none of you people have seen Moulin Rouge.
Unfortunatly, I did see part of it. I was tricked!!! I tell ya!! my cousin said, 'this is the best movie ever!'
Of course I never heard of it. I was drinkin n said, 'what the hell'
I tried my hardest not to watch it (5mins into it), and ended up falling asleep.
Some ppl say booz is bad for you, but in a pinch, it can save you from sayin 'ya i saw that movie......'
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Gigli.
It was on starz recently, and I watched just to see if it lived up to all the anti-hype. It did, and delivered more.
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(http://victoryatseaonline.com/war/otherwars/images/navy-seals.gif)
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I haven't seen the whole SEALS movie, but I liked the beginning.
Where the heck did CHarlie Sheen go after he jumped from the bridge?!?!?
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The high point of Ben Affleck's career was the scene in Pearl Harbor where the champagne cork smacks his mangled nose.
Come to think of it, that was the high point of the entire movie.
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Any movie with Will Smith in it is the worst movie ever.
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Originally posted by Nilsen
Any movie with Will Smith in it is the worst movie ever.
Now if you said Martin Lawrence, I might agree.
Worst recently... has to be Van Helsing.
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Kroll
The Hidden II (worst EVAR!)
And MiniD, you should go see & leave this one: Blade Trinity. it has it all...
Ah, and almost forgot about "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" ... bad bad bad bad.
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Armageddon.
I just couldn't get past the part of having a campfire on an asteroid - don't they take science classes in Hollywierd?
The remake of "Planet of the Apes"
How did that ex-New Kid on the Block, become an actor? His face doesn't move - I mean NO expression.
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Originally posted by TweetyBird
How did that ex-New Kid on the Block, become an actor? His face doesn't move - I mean NO expression.
Ahem... He wasn't an ex-New Kid. He's an ex-New Kid's brother.
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Alright, forgot the name of it. Has Tom Cruise in it..I wanna say it has vanilla in it. But I don't remember. That movie sucked.
More recently, Open Water.
I rented that thinking, hey cool a shark movie.
Watched it, bad acting, crappy - low budget film. I dunno, the camera just seemed weird.
You never really see a shark bite them.
And the whole movie, you watch them bobbing up and down on the ocean.
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Originally posted by Estes
Alright, forgot the name of it. Has Tom Cruise in it..I wanna say it has vanilla in it. But I don't remember. That movie sucked.
More recently, Open Water.
I rented that thinking, hey cool a shark movie.
Watched it, bad acting, crappy - low budget film. I dunno, the camera just seemed weird.
You never really see a shark bite them.
And the whole movie, you watch them bobbing up and down on the ocean.
Yeah I thought she was pushing him away from her so the sharks would leave her alone and feed on him.
I have to admit i did not expect her to give in.
But i see you're point it did seem like a low buget "B" movie.
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Originally posted by wombatt
But i see you're point it did seem like a low buget "B" movie.
That's because it was. Open Water was was financed by director Chris Kentis and his wife, producer Laura Lau, both avid scuba divers. It was filmed on weekends and holidays with a crew that usually consisted of two or three people. It cost $130,000 to make and was later bought by Lion's Gate for $2.5 million after its screening at Sundance.
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For all your unholy bad movie viewing needs, I bring you:
B Movie Reviews (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/)
Not only will you learn about movies that you've never heard of, but the reviews are so funny you sometimes think about seeing them.
Such as the review for:
NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES
Not Rated
Copyright 1981 Films Dara.
Reviewed A long time ago.
CHARACTERS
Vincent - Interpol agent, suffers from a serious case of "I'm a nice guy." Chomped.
Lea - Female reporter, she's a great deal better looking with her top off. Turned into human mush.
Lieutenant Mike London - Leader of the crack Interpol unit, a strangely poetic man... ...until he gets munched.
Santoro - Unbalanced guy, he enjoys playing "keep away" with the beasties. Eventually fails to "keep away."
Two Dudes - One is Lea's cameraman, the other an Interpol guy. Both become zombie chow.
Josie, Hubby, and the Kid - Fodder, she gets eaten by a random zombie and the kid becomes one then chews his dad's neck out.
The Zombies - Created by a chemical/nuclear accident, something like that.
PLOT
This was awful, coming from myself that's quite a statement. Twenty minutes into the flick I was trying to come up with a way to get revenge against the director of this one.
In New Guinea (you heard me, funny little island in the Pacific) some sort of chemical/nuclear research project, based in a refinery, goes terribly wrong. Half a world away the special Interpol team led by Lieutenant London is dispatched to find out what. The International Criminal Police Organization is called out to investigate the disaster at a nuclear facility?
They don't take a boat to the offshore facility though. They get airdropped miles inland! Plus, they're all dubbed over; it sounds like a bunch of guys from the Bronx, NYC. Anyway, they run into some news reporters who are having zombie problems, like the seven year old kid munching through dad's neck.
After some suitable idiocy they learn to shoot the brain. They never put this to use though. The morons just keep pumping bullets into every other body part except the head. The surviving reporters accompany the policemen through several boring encounters with undead. The survivors from those finally arrive at the research center. This is good, it signals the movie's end is near, and so are the actors - everybody dies! End of story.
At one point the travelers hear drums, so Lea says that she has to make friends with the natives! The young lady then proceeds to whip her shirt off, slap some face paint on, and go jogging into the village. The sight of a woman jogging topless lifted my spirits for a few moments, before the assneck director again threw stock footage at me. Prepare to see numerous segments lifted from "Animal Kingdom" or "National Geographic" specials. One moment you're watching a zombie shamble along, the next it's a horde of fruit bats roosting. If you think that's bad wait until you see people constantly "paralyzed with fear" as the zombies approach. Complete idiocy, unless you are a serious bad movie enthusiast (or want to torture your friends) avoid this one.
THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE MOVIE
One zombie rat can kill a full grown man.
People will stare in paralyzed horror at a zombie eating someone.
Eco terrorists talk too much.
Zombies are usually mistaken for lepers.
Modern battle tanks are no match for spear chucking natives.
Bras are good. (Leaf through a National Geographic, you'll understand.)
The natives of New Guinea use synthesizers.
Zombies are not very good at tag.
The undead love to wear polyester.
Zombies can't swim.
THINGS TO LOOK FOR
2 mins - Is this a movie about disco or zombies?
9 mins - Why did that guy pull his own gas mask off when the zombie attacked?
23 mins - These guys could sure use a group hug.
31 mins - You need a bigger gun.
34 mins - Hey morons, didn't he tell you to shoot them in the head?
37 mins - Stock "National Geographic" footage.
38 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
42 mins - Stock footage.
55 mins - How did he get behind her?
64 mins - Stock footage of birds catching fish?
79 mins - Stock footage of fruit bats? Couldn't you guys afford film?
:aok :aok :aok :aok
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Total b****x
Hollywood rewrites WW2 yet again!
So bad it made me angry!
If the Russians had made such a fabrication we'd have called it propaganda!
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Worst Movie Ever
I was always told it was Ed Wood's "Plan Nine from Outerspace"
But, there have been a lot of movies since then....:D
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Ed Wood made movies in a day. There were no pretences and no illusions.
The truly bad movies come from people that were actually trying to do something more and failed miserably.
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Originally posted by Mini D
Ed Wood made movies in a day. There were no pretences and no illusions.
The truly bad movies come from people that were actually trying to do something more and failed miserably.
Good point....!
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I'd have to go with A.I. (artifical intellegence). I think spellburg directed and the kid from the 6th sense was the star. I was against it from the start but the g/f insisted. It started well enough with the kid being replaced with a robot(they thought the kid was going to die and the parents solution was to replace him with a robot???). After this I knew I was in for a ride... right to the crash sight:) Anyway, real kid gets better and parents dump the robot? He goes on some big adventure and ends up getting trapped under water. I thought mercifully, that was the end. The screen went to black and I was ready for the credits BUT NO! Screen comes back up and theres aliens...that's right aliens digging him up. OMFG! It was beyond pathetic, beyond so dumb it's funny. I felt...numb. It is truely the worst movie I ever saw. Thank you for giving me this therapy session, I'm still trying to get over the horror that film has done to me:lol