Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: BlueJ1 on January 10, 2005, 04:22:49 PM
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Reading book called Tales from WWII You Probably Never Heard Before by Zed Merrill. Thought this story was quite funny...
...It was in the early 1930s when Goering hit the summit for indulgence in flashy uniforms when he noticed a picture of a coat in an American magizine. What he saw, as the story goes, was a Yale cheerleader decked out in a full-length raccoon coat doing his rah-rah thing with a large megaphone. To Goering this coat was pure euphoria. But it did present a problem since there were no raccoons to be found anywhere in Germany.
Goering first instructed an aide to contact an American coat manufacturer to outfit him with a raccoon coat, but there were none in stock big enough to fit his three hundred pound frame. They would, however, be more than happy to make one to his specifications. Goering turned them down because he a a better idea. An ingenious one at that. He would make his own raccoon coat, ....
(continued)
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By taking over America?
Christ, we would have sent a few over, these things are like rats now.
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I didn't get it.
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(continued)
...maybe not just one but several. Perhaps enough to outfit all the top ranking Nazi officals.
After much preperation, Goering was able to import four raccoons from the United States. There was no problem getting them through customs because he was in charge of that too. He immediatly started a breeding program that would soon have little raccoons running about everywhere.
...(Yadda Yadda Yadda)...
But the raccoons didn't breed on the scale Goering had hoped they would. They did their thing when they wanted to and often would escape their pens and scratch their keepers.
...(Skip a paragraph)...
...his subordinates followed his orders and released what raccoons there were deep in a forest. Goering's great raccoon coat empire was a fizzle, and now they were gona and forgotten forever as far as Goering was concerned. At least thats what he thought.
...(skip another paragraph)...
To this day, all of Europe is infested with an out-of-control population of raccoons that has reached monstrous proportions. They are everywhere, even in the cities. Thanks to Reichsmarschell Hermann Goering and a Yale cheerleader.
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That is nothing, my Grandmother imported armadillos into Mississippi in the 30's. She has been killing the little bastids ever since.
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don't even get me started on the damn raccoons (http://forums.checksix.net/forum_posts.asp?TID=3305&PN=2)
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I think the story goes deepr than that.
They are Nazi raccoons and they are just bidding their time...
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The book syas they didnt breed enough being Americans aganst the Nazi cause. :D
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We had a raccoon come up to our house a lot and eat our cat food. Finally, I had enough of it. So I pumped up the pellet gun to a decent 4 pumps, something to hurt a lot, but not hurt permanently.
I would open the door and he'd run off and come back 20 seconds later when the door was open.
Finally he decided I wasn't a threat and just stayed eating. So I let him have it right in the rump. He jumped clean 4 feet in the air, spun around and gave me a look like, "Why me? What have I done?"
Haven't seen the bugger back since.
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obvously they cant swim, or hitch hike on boats. because im in europe and i sure as hell have never seen one.
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A so called:HOAX
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Originally posted by Furball
obvously they cant swim, or hitch hike on boats. because im in europe and i sure as hell have never seen one.
ah , yes they can swim. many a coon hounds went to Davey Jones' locker with a coon on top of their heads.
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Apathy, that story is nothing to what I have experienced..
Late one night, I saw something big moving outside, thought it was the my cat, but when I pulled back the curtains to check it was a raccoon..
I was like COOL!, I rehabilitate raccoons and squirells, and well we get along well till we keep them outside in a pre-release cage, which hardens them for the enviroment.
Well I went outside, with some fruit, catfood -which you never feed a raccoon in high quanity, only dog food-
I gloved my right hand, and kneeled down next to the right tree with the stuff in my hand, he never ran away, and he even ate the cat food around me, I watched him closely and he wasn't sick, wasn't acting weird, he just felt comfortable around me, until I moved too fast.
I stayed out there next to him for a good 30 mins, and actually reached out to touch his nose, gloved of course, and he jumped and finally ran away.
I know he wasn't sick, it was the time they should come out, he was nice and healthy looking, I just think we somehow agreed with eachother, leave me alone, I'll leave you alone.
:)
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You see a sort of reverse and accelerated evolution going on.
I see squirrels getting smarter by the day, especially with my cat around. All the dumb ones are getting eaten or run over. So evolution is happening on an extremely quick scale, instead of over thousands of years.
I see the raccoons getting dumber by the day. Because of our lifestyle, they have benefitted. The smart and tough raccons are off in the woods surviving. However, the dumb ones are living it up and sharing their trash buffet with their dates and are breeding like rabbits.
Anti evolution. I'd be willing to be in 20 years we start to domesticate raccoons.
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BBQ raccoon is pretty good; a little greasy but great with beer. It's a real white meat with a high fat content.
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Originally posted by Toad
BBQ raccoon is pretty good; a little greasy but great with beer. It's a real white meat with a high fat content.
Seriously?
I've never tried it, I never would, after knowing how stinky their **** is...
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never could eat it. too greasy and looks a bit like a fat cat when skinned out. I never could even bring my self to taste it.
IIRC we used to get about $.25 a pound for the meat as a kid. after taking the hides we'd gut them and put them in the freezer. a friend new a guy who would buy them all. I don't know if he ate that much of it or sold it to some one else.
it wasn't worth much compared to the pelt, but a couple extra bucks always came in handy.
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I'd never do something like that for money, maybe if it depended on my life like it did back then in your times..:aok
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Originally posted by Toad
BBQ raccoon is pretty good; a little greasy but great with beer. It's a real white meat with a high fat content.
oh man, you got that right. good eating.
skin and gut it, leave fat on it.
let fat drip, and flame up.
fat layer turns to black burnt fat.
when ya cut it open, peel the black burnt fat off, the meat is real nice and juicy.
Thanks alot Toad, now I is hungry. ;) :p
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Originally posted by capt. apathy
never could eat it. too greasy and looks a bit like a fat cat when skinned out. I never could even bring my self to taste it.
man , you have no idea, what you are missing out on.
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Originally posted by Hawklore
I'd never do something like that for money, maybe if it depended on my life like it did back then in your times..:aok
how old are you?
check back in when you're 40 and tell me what you'd do for money.
actually hunting raccoons was done mostly for the fun of it, the $$ was just a bonus, and would have likely been a loss if I'd had to pay for my own hounds.
as a teenager I ran a few traps for cash, threw a lot of damn hay-bales on a truck, and even green-broke a few horses for neighbors and people who boarded them at the stable near my house (breaking horses would have also been a loss if I'd had to pay my own med bills. some times they break you).
in my adult life, among other less glamorous jobs, I've thrown drunks out of bars, repaired ships and built and repaired boilers. I've been set on fire, worked hundreds of feet off the ground in all weather, electrocuted myself while welding in the rain more times than I can count, climbed the boom of a crane 270' up (to re-install a pin that was coming loose), crawled through the furnaces in a paper mill, and many worse things that I've likely blocked out to protect my sanity.
looking back over it all, chasing a bawling hound through the woods of Missouri on a cold night, so I can skin a few raccoons was probably one of the best (and definitely the funnest) 'jobs' I've ever had in my life.
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From my mis-spent youth:
(http://www.lizking.com/coon1.jpg)
(http://www.lizking.com/coon2.jpg)
They aren't bad, but I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to eat them.
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No Raccoons in Europe. Not a one. Maybe he meant Grey Squirrels. Those pests were imported from America and are everywhere. There is a serious campaign to hunt them all down and eliminate them all before they wipe out the native Red Squirrel. Otherwise the story is funny.
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The best thing for killing squirrels is to shoot the little buggers with whatever weapon you happen to have around.
Funny story one time my Dad shot one with my recurve bow that was in our pecan tree. The squirrel jumped out and headed for the wood pile. Well needless to say he made it but couldn't get into the hole since the arrow was sticking out each side of his body through his lungs. Fortunately he died before I as a young stupid boy ran up and grabbed him.
BUT DAMN those squirrel dumplings in gravy with big plump home made biscuts, black eye peas, turnip greens (can't eat those now; I hate 'em) and pecan pie was freakin' AMAZING! Man I need to go see mom and grandmom and get them to cook a few for me once again.
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Originally posted by Reschke
BUT DAMN those squirrel dumplings in gravy with big plump home made biscuts, black eye peas, turnip greens (can't eat those now; I hate 'em) and pecan pie was freakin' AMAZING! Man I need to go see mom and grandmom and get them to cook a few for me once again.
dang your hide, ya making me drool. :)
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Originally posted by DieAz
dang your hide, ya making me drool. :)
Me to! Squirrel is my favorite game meat....
When I see them around the house or in the park I get hunger pains.
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Originally posted by Lizking
From my mis-spent youth:
They aren't bad, but I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to eat them.
Lizking, theres not anywheres near enough fat on those in the pics.
you want to catch them, when they fat as pigs. with at least 1/2 inch layer of fat all around. leave fat on while they cooking. they come out a whole lot better eating.
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That is actually a rabbit (the skinned one), I wanted to see if anyone could tell.
Sadly, those two 'coons were killed simply because they were in our camp, although we did eat them, and the guy on the right tanned them out.
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Originally posted by cpxxx
No Raccoons in Europe. Not a one. Maybe he meant Grey Squirrels. Those pests were imported from America and are everywhere. There is a serious campaign to hunt them all down and eliminate them all before they wipe out the native Red Squirrel. Otherwise the story is funny.
The American grey squirrel is at the top of the food chain in Britain; not only are they wiping out the native red squirrel population, but they've begun eating meat and now attack dogs and cats. It's only a matter of time before they grow so bold they begin attacking people too...there's really nothing the Brits can do to stop them, since ther Gov't took everybody's guns away.
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Only in their cities, Air.
Even in England the country boys can survive.
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Originally posted by Toad
Only in their cities, Air.
Even in England the country boys can survive.
I hope Beet doesn't live in the City then- soon London will be overrun with packs of ravenous Grey squirrels eating everything in sight like swarms of mutated, flesh eating giant locusts...
I hope he pals up with someone who owns a gun, really I do. Unfortunately the only Inner City Brits who own guns are criminals, so if he approaches someone shooting squirrels they'd probably rob him.
My God...who would have thought Britain would fall to an American rodent? Personally I blame the Bolcheviks and the unrest they caused in the 1920s for their inability to defend themselves.
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Originally posted by Reschke
BUT DAMN those squirrel dumplings in gravy with big plump home made biscuts, black eye peas, turnip greens (can't eat those now; I hate 'em) and pecan pie was freakin' AMAZING! Man I need to go see mom and grandmom and get them to cook a few for me once again.
Nam Nam, but please skip the dumplings in gravy (Affraid to bite a tooth off from the hidden bones). Just flour the squirrl and fry it hard. (Dont forget to beat the peices before you fry).
Thumbs up for this one. One of my favorite dishes of all times.
Quality, truelly American food.
*The Swedish chef*