Aces High Bulletin Board
Help and Support Forums => Help and Training => Topic started by: Spatula on January 31, 2000, 02:19:00 AM
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Hey lets have a stupidity award. Where everyone nominates something really DUMB - we've all done it (be honest).
OK
1st Nomination: Me - for the brave fight with a fully armed 205 and me in a 'recon' la-5. The recon model was reserved for idiots - who either they, or they're crew forgot to put any amourment on their plane before they crossed the NME lines.
Yes yours truls somehow ended up in a tangle with a bish 205 and once i started to turn the tables i got my oportunity to fire from D500 or so - as he zoomed away. Pressed the trigger thinkin "got ya" and nothing, i tried agian, again nothing (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/frown.gif) I looked at the ammo counter and it read 0 - and i had only rolled 4 mins before that. Im not sure why i had no armament - it just happened, very weird...
Anyho, to make matters even more silly i then disco'd when i got on his 6 and was chasin him - i know i couldnt kill him, but i thought i'd have fun (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/tongue.gif)
So I nominate me for the award (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
This 'award' can be a lesson for pilots to be motivated to get better at all things like gunnery, ACM, SA, and whether you have any bl**dy guns on kite
Grumble grumble grumble....
OUT
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Overlord Spatula,
1st Airborne Kitchen Utensil Assault Group
"... 10 Me-109s out of the sun..." Aces High, Iron Maiden.
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I nominate the C47 driver from Hangtime's post in General Discussion... landed at the enemy base and sat until he was destroyed.
"What troops?"
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Ok, here's one that I'm sure most of us have done. I was flying over 14 about two weeks ago (.48) and spotted a lone spitfire about 10k below me. I gently pushed my 205 into a dive and dove right below the unsuspecting spit. As I pulled up onto his low 6, at around 500 mph, he still made no movements. He was still perfectly straight and level. So I decided to close even closer than the 500 yds I was currently at. At about 250 yds out, I pulled back on the stick (gently), and BAM, off came my right wing tip. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/mad.gif) My plane immediately rolled right, but now I was right alongside the spit. Just then I hear the sound of my plane overstressing, followed by pings and crashes. If they award kills for scaring a bogey, I earned one that day. There can't be anything more frustrating than breaking your wings/tail off right in front of what was to be an "easy" kill. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/frown.gif)
Since then I always make sure I never exceed 450 mph in a dive, no matter the plane. (Of course if we get that p47-N, I can go up to around 600 with no problem. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif) )
bloom25
THUNDERBIRDS
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"... 10 Me-109s out of the sun..." Aces High, Iron Maiden
Glad to see I'm not the only one here who is old enough to remember that song.
I just listened to that cd a few days ago.
FYI Bruce and the boys have a new cd out now!
Catman
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Wait, wait, my tales of stupidity have not yet ended. Has anyone managed to take a c47 all the way to a heavily defended/capped target 20 minutes away, and upon arriving over the base, noticed they forgot to bring troops. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/frown.gif) I did, once. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
My other favorite, forgetting to bring bombs on a hq raid. (This isn't so bad if you are alone, but if you are flying with your entire squad, what do you say to them? )
bloom25
THUNDERBIRDS
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"but if you are flying with your entire squad, what do you say to them?"
Nothing.
Just make sure you are not the last in nor the first.
Then when you're all forming up for egress you should hoot & holler over your squad channel (and before anyone else does!) about what carnage your bombs/rockets made of the hangar/fuel/enemy taking off/ack etc, etc....
(http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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Ha! you loose...
before FW 190 and 109 variants (maybe v3.5 or sth) I was flying my knight g10 over rookland with ammo counter somewhere in the middle (read LOW in 109 (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif) ) when I saw a c47 co alt (10k). I thought "bingo!" and went around and above him for what I thougt to be my 3rd and easiest kill in an online game...I boomed in and managed to actually MISS him (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/mad.gif) OK! zoom up, turn around,try again...this guy was obviously in the basement to get another beer or so, the C47 was still straight and level...second boom, concentrate now! ssllloowww down a bit to increase firing time, the Messerschmitt begins to bounce and wobble like crazy (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/frown.gif) no matter what, squeeze the trigger and hose away at 500-400 or so...ammo is zero now, c47 still flying straight me overshooting and zooming away...hopefully nobody did see it :0 5 seconds later on country channel ":...eazydweeb, how the hell did you manage to miss that c47 ??" (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/redface.gif) (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/eek.gif) OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!
I was so embarrassed, I didn't even look who was the spectator of the awful scene and backed away...
..and there is a thread on this board where people complain about long distance shooting being too easy...JIKES !! (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/eek.gif)
sadly I didn't have the time to fly for the last 2 weeks and I don't know about the future, so you may loose a big time competitor for the future stupidity awards (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/frown.gif)
Hope to see you
eazydweeb aka Peter the German who can't shoot (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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Could you consider these points :
a-Bailing out right above a con airfiels where the ack is active (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
b-Jabo'ing an airfield's ack with FUEL TANKS instead of Bombs (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
c-Zooming in on a Spit from top, from High alt with a Hog, while spit is flying at +/- 50 ft...
I think I have my chances...these are only examples, and I think I cooould fill the alphabet (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
(http://www.harrythecat.com/graphics/k/plane11.gif)
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Saw/Saintaw/Saint
BISHOPS
DCO 186th Wardogs (Falcon4 Squad)
http://www.wardogs.org/ (http://www.wardogs.org/)
"Firepower Mate, that is what separates the men from the boys..."
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Sadly, I believe i'm the unfortunate owner of the single dumbest mistake possible in AH....
Back about 4.0 (release before clouds I think) I was blissfully cruising along at 25k or so (109) and spotted a pony about 7k below to my left. I backed of the throttle and set for a 45 degree deflection shot from his top right rear. Closer and closer waiting to unleash that 30mm...unfortunately i had about 500 yds to much alt...total control lockup...clip my tail off on his plane and go spiraling down..killed by a plane that never saw me, never fired a shot and didnt know what him..literally (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/frown.gif)
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I have performed yet another (albeit frustrating) act of stupidity. I was flying a c47 to 20, not a con in sight, turned on the autopilot to go get a drink and wham, witnessed my c47 slam right into the side of a mountain. Doh!!!
[This message has been edited by bloom25 (edited 02-06-2000).]
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I could start with the letter "A" and give you an act of stupidity all the way to "Z", but notable brain failures include 4 perfect passes on a capped field in a C47 complaining that "The troop's won't jump" "Have you opened the door" came the reply. Opening fire on a NIKKI in a C47 & Dumping all my Troops, Oh and this week (Again in a C47) I flew into a mountain, (Didn't see it honest).
TTFN
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I was running away from camo about 2 weeks ago near field 8 and saw a friedly in front of me, being desperate and out of ammo, I headed right towards my countyman hoping to brush Camo off before he finished me.
I learned that there is not much a fellow pilot can do to help you when he is standing on the ground bundeling up his silk.
Other rooks more intellectual then myself managed to save me with only the loss of my engine. I was muttering quite a bit as I ditched my niki..
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Pongo
The Wrecking Crew
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Ever go buff a field's acks and then come down to stafe the buildings and such.. and *THUD* ..auger? ??
Then replane in a c47 to capture yer freshly buffed field only to plant it into the hill at the end of the runway while yer typin to yer pals 'acks down f7'?? Hmmmmmmmm?? Then find out that someother nutcase gooney drivers c47's 'almost there'. so you replane in a fighter to go to..
"VULCHLAND" <<< (big flashing vegas type sign)
....happily diving down to whack the poor sods tryin ta save their precious field from your teams tender attentions.. and then auger in on the first pass 2 tenths of a second after the wings went..
*BANG*BANG* ??? Have yah done this??
Ever go BACK to vulchland after that to 'get me some more'; wepped out on the deck at 400 ias.. and auger on the first pass? Been there?? Done that??
Well; didja ever come back again a third time only to collide with the first guy yah try to stake to the runway???
Then; get sooooo pissed.. and go a fourth time; set up a 'by the numbers' vulch-o-matic pattern with the firm resolve to not be an over-eager cuddlinghunk again... only to be the first guy tagged by the acks when it comes up? Any of this sound familiar?
Folks; this wasn't enuff for me.... ooooh no no no!; another buff shows up; kills the ack and the vulchfest is still in full swing. So I replane again; come back at 10k, start a long smooth dive at 15 degrees down bubble about 1/2 way back... and blow both ailerons out as I go thru 620 knots 1000 yards away from the field.
"THATS IT!" I holler; (hang rubs the still visible dent in the table top) I manage to not shred the wings.. (see?? I thought of that with that clever shallow dive angle) ..pull up over the field; get level and gingely start 'feeling' my way thru flying with my feet, regained some measure of control and was privledged to watch, ruddering around in slow circles, while my teammates merrily whacked the lemmings as they spawned below. *sigh*
Finally; afer helplessly eyballing the slaughter fer a bit I finally woke up to the fact that sooner or later somebodys gonna show up here and kill me.. and rudder the damn thing back home.
I prayed feverently on the way back "I hope they ain't vulchin our field.." I made it.. the gods are kind to us stupid people .. sometimes.
My granpa used ta say "The cure for ignorance is education. The cure for stupidity is death" My grandpa's crack at wisdom. (he educated me on the art of swimming by tossing me in the deep end)
A funny thing.. the old geezer died of lung cancer. I'm told by my exwife that stupidity obviously runs in the family. (I smoke a pack a day) She points to my daughter as another prime example, and reminds me that "I'm not stupid.. and look at HER!" I reminded my sweet kind wife that she obviously wasn't too bright either.. she married me. Frankly, I'm not sure if my condition is genetic or gender related; but don't want to give her anymore ammo anyway. (sorry I digress)
Back on topic here, its certainly clear that I am without any doubt the stupidest; deadest and dumbest damn pilot in the sim; and offer the above as evidence. Surely; I must get the award.
Hang (hey; I'm ok.. just takin a dirt nap..)
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PALE HORSES
"I looked, and behold; a Pale Horse, and it's riders name was Death, and Hell followed with him" Rev 6.8
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you certainly get most persistant...However...this award is for STUPIDITY...not being stubbern (damm finally gave up trying to spell it).
however volume does count (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
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I Second humbles clipping his tail section off in a high speed pass - the other guy got the kill and didnt know why (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif) LOL
I also 2nd saintaws high speed dive at a plane flying at 50 feet - wtg (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
Any other nominations? Can be something you saw as opposed to what you did.
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Overlord Spatula,
1st Airborne Kitchen Utensil Assault Group
"... 10 Me-109s out of the sun..." Aces High, Iron Maiden.
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Or how about, `Well, It isn't good to park on a buffs six, but I'm sure my cannons will kill him first this TIME!...ratatatatatata..ping..snap ...another BUFF downs Sundog....GGrrrrrr..I know better, I know better'....
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Well, I am sure it has been done before.
The day the 190 came out, up I go. Flying along happily. I look below. What do I see but Hitech, Natedog and Superfly all tied up in a massive furball going around and around. To make this even better, the wad was in a canyon.
Heavens to Mergatroid! I think to myself "The Mother Fricking Lode!". What a boon to save HiTech, Natedog and Superfly all at one time. I would be the "Ace of Aces", the "Uber of Ubers" and the "King of the Sky".
Well to say the least, I got a little excited and going much to fast. About the time I read "Don't move the controls so rapidly", I am almost sure they noticed my supersonic blur go by.
Laser straight in the precision and airpspeed pegged, a full WEP power dive. I was untouchable, and at least I had the guts not to bail out. They had to have at least seen my crater.
Mino
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ROFLMAO "Supersonic blur"....
I have a new one : Yesterday, attacked the Rook's base on my own...they mustavebeen 15/20 Rooks there...they sure had fun chasing me...
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Saw/Saintaw
BISHOP'S FINEST FLYING BRICK
DCO 186th Wardogs (Falcon4 Squad)
http://www.wardogs.org/ (http://www.wardogs.org/)
"Firepower Mate, that is what separates the men from the boys..."
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Rofl!!! Mino "Goes Diving Down" !!!!!
That was very funny Mino.
Here, you have to read this: http://www.concentric.net/~espottke/scav/igdd_2.htm (http://www.concentric.net/~espottke/scav/igdd_2.htm)
Back up to http://www.concentric.net/~espottke/scav/index.html (http://www.concentric.net/~espottke/scav/index.html) to read more (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
--Westy
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Was typing a message at about 18K for all the AH world to see:
"Here I am all by myself, in the wonderful worl......"
When Wardog blew me out of the sky!
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Damn Ghostrider! This bogey is all over me!!
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I had just joined the 401 Rams and decided to lead a mission. I was nervous and scared. But I preflew the route offline, set up the timing, fuel load and required ord. I was ready.
Get everyone organized, OTR, call roll. Man was I nervous, but it was looking perfect. Climb to an alt of 15 for the cross map trek. Settle down in autopilot at 75 throttle for some pics. Hmm, thought there should be more noise coming from the front end? Seams in getting everyone else organized, I forgot to set up my own plane and was only carring 20% fuel. What was worse, is the raid would have worked perfect! A cross map theft of a main base, but we were 2 bombs short! Duh!
My 2nd Brain fart was as a flight lead in a Scenario Lite. We rolled and the plan changed so As we climbed up to 25k I was busy typing out orders. I was busy flying
and typing and not really watching the buffer. What I failed to notice was that for the last two lines I had typed, I had failed to hit any correct radio key. At the end of every line (that wasn't really typed), I hit <ENTER>. After 3 quick commands, I found myself with a very picturesque view of England and a flight of Hurricanes speeding away to do battle. All with the radio buffer asking did I know I was loosing altitude?
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"Just Plane Nuts"
Gazoo
http://plaza.v-wave.com/SolarStorm/index.htm (http://plaza.v-wave.com/SolarStorm/index.htm)
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The time I was flying to a high base in a goon. "Sure, it's capped great!" comes somebody's response over the buffer. Lotsa dots ahead, must be the vulchers. 5 seconds later, I'm a lone goon flying into a mass of 30 cons over this airfield, not a friendly in sight. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen on Aces High. I lasted a truly amazing 15 seconds (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
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Mark VanZwoll
33rd Strike Group
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Dame...I'm soooo stupid..
I took one day a B17 for a spin, load it up and went for a flight. I found a spot that I can fly throu mountans (huge mounten on one side and huge mounted on other side, and I'm flying between) I was just cruzzzing, trying to get some altitude..
all the suden I see "Russina 666" I get in the back turret. I see some high flying spit around 3k away. Now i'm just looking as he flying at same altitude, not doing anything...1min...2min...3min past and nothing...just flying there with out doing anything.
I don't know why but this thought just came to me" WHO THE HELL IS FLYING THIS THING?"
I change view and right in front of my a wall..A BIG wall of durt..and I can't do anything about it. Can't turn right, can't turn left, and mountan is coming closer and closer.
now i can see that he is just sitting in that spit and luffing his head of...."Ha heah heah nice flying russian"
after that i didn't show my face for a long time in AH....
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Too late guys, I win. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif) I just accomplished the stupidest thing that I have ever done, and even filmed it. First of all I made a perfect pass on a b26 and blew his wing off and set him smoking. As he began his long, slow, death tumble to the ground, I thought, "Wow, this looks cool, I should film it!" So I turned on the film recorder and made a slow turn around the b26's position, looking all the time out my side window. I was thinking, "This is sooooo cool." Just as the b26 hit the ground, PING, BANG, BOOM, "System: Handy #1 shot down bloom25." I had just filmed myself get shot down without even knowing anyone else was nearby. Not only that, I lost the kill. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/mad.gif) I will put the film on here for all to see and amaze themselves at my stupidity. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif) (
Handy, never even looked in your direction. Glad I got you back next sortie though. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't.)
http://www.ece.orst.edu/~bloom/stupid.ahf (http://www.ece.orst.edu/~bloom/stupid.ahf)
I will expect my trophy ASAP, thank you. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
bloom25
THUNDERBIRDS
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He, you lose...
This afternoon I came into AH and finded one of my team mates flying yet, and so I went to my Fw190 ASAP to start flying...when I was in the middle of the road to his position he started calling me for help, he had several bogeys attacking him...I was 22k at this point so I released my drop tank and started to tell him that I was coming from high alt...the cavalry is coming !!! (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif) ok I arrive and I find him between 3 bandits...I get my position, choose my target, i Spilt-s downwards...my target is to be surprised I am still not seen...I pull...I pull more...damn...I FORGOT TO EASE THROTTLE...PULL LIKE A MAD...
FFFIIIUUUUUUU CHASSSSS KLONK PLASSSS!!!!!!!! (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/mad.gif)
System: you are killed
well...I dont know If I'll awarded the stupidity championship, but the Oscat to the worse/Fastest dive is mine for sure!!!!
and for the most embarrasing situation...argggh (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/frown.gif)
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The last Sunday I was returning to F5 after
a hard season hunting knigts with my F4U. I
was relaxed smoking a cigarette. And
then... ...ouch!!! The incandescent head was
between my fingers!!! I managed to shot down
the cigarette's head but my F4U was going
down at more than 500 mhp, half a wing blew
up, rudder gone also. I was able to ditch
the plane near F5, pointing just toward the
runaway. After ditching, my plane lost both wings and all the tail controls. But the engine was untouched, so, I switched on the
engine again and WEP. I was repting like a
snake at 1 mph, with no landing gear. After
ten minutes I reached the runaway, stop the
engine and got the message "Landing
successful". (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
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Sorry guys, I can beat these hands down.
Consider:
A. I'm flying a B-26 on an acksweeping raid, coming in about 15-16k. Someone's begging on country channel to gun. I normally gun my own, but hey-- this is a milk run, and besides, I've got 5x.50 cal.
FNG gets on board.
"How do you operate guns?"
"Use the joystick"
"I don't have a joystick."
Uh oh. I seem to have forgotten the dot command to kick someone out of your plane. I try to ask him to leave.
"Why?" he asks in between wasting ammo.
Now here comes a spit into vis range. He's setting up the high six. I'm desperately calling up the HTC website to get the command.
Not in time. I bail and Alt-F4 before my corpse hits the ground.
B. 3 bus drives Over in Brand W. 1. Is similar to the C47 CFIT above. Only this was in the days of "Mass bus raids" where you drop enough troops to confuse the acks. We're NOE halfway there when the leader, afk, CFITs into a mountain. 2. It's a long range attack -- 40 miles over water as the crow flies. We have two Jus and a couple bombers. As I get near, I charge the field, door open, salvo set, but have to abort because the ack isn't down. I orbit north. The other guy orbits south. Finally after about 12 minutes -- when rebuild makes any hope of getting another bus from base dashed -- they shut down the field. I charge in, pickle and ...
I must have slipped and dropped all the paratroopers into the water, below min safe parachute height.
3. A sneak attack on a main field in the back. My CO acksweeps in a B17. I've got the bus. He calls clear. I charge in. I'd been practicing the "max-effort" landing where you skid, break the wing off on the tower and stop feet away, giving the troops a 20 second walk. It's great if the field is capped or you're expected a rebuilt. neither of these conditions obtains here. I come in too hot, clip the wing and my wreck goes flying into the side of a hangar. Doh!
C. I'm flying a B-26 to finish off HQ in the NE corner, and I don't realise I have icons turned off. It's the spit at d.2 on my 6 that reminds me, just before chewing the plane up.
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Dropped tank on FW190, when I spotted a F4U uber-nosed hog at a slighly higher alt. He came right at me, I was too slow to try to avoid a HO, and he was willing, so I went for it..only problem is, I didn't activate the Cannon after dropping tanks, thus pelted him with pathetic BB shot as he promptly blew me outta the air.
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Brian "Ripsnort" Nelson
++JG2++ ~Richthofen~ XO
(Formerly VF-101 Grim Reapers~Rip1~Warbirds~)
"In training, upon being told it was time to
solo, the instructor said, “You tried to kill
me enough times, now try it with a check pilot.”"
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I'm just glad no one has nominated me for the award...yet. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/rolleyes.gif)
WOOD1