Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: SunTracker on January 18, 2005, 04:54:53 PM

Title: Critique my resume
Post by: SunTracker on January 18, 2005, 04:54:53 PM
I found an entry-level aquaculture job down in in Florida.  They have asked that I send in my resume.  Well, long story short, I am in college and am working my first job.  So my resume is pretty bleak.  Can you guys help me work it over?

DAVID B****
OBJECTIVE
   A position in the aquaculture industry.
EXPERIENCE
   2001¡V2005   United Parcel Service   Louisville, KY
Air Package Handler
ƒÞ   Employee of the month on three occasions.
ƒÞ   FAA airpark security clearance.
   
   
EDUCATION
   1997¡V2001   Jeffersontown High School   Louisville, KY
„X   Graduated with honors.
2001-2002   Jefferson Community College  
„X   Earned 12 credits.
2002-2005   University of Louisville
„X   Majored in biology.
„X   Earned 44 credits.
„X   22 credits in biology related classes.
 2004
„X   NAUI certified Open Water Diver
„X   NAUI certified Advanced Open Water Diver
INTERESTS
   Scuba diving, wildlife photography, aquariums, hiking, reading.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: ra on January 18, 2005, 04:58:31 PM
How big are your hooters?  Post a pic.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: rabbidrabbit on January 18, 2005, 05:03:36 PM
Whats the point of objective ?

If you are going to do it use the opportunity to convey some useful information like" Self starting conciencious leader seeking an entry level position in the aquaculture profession.  Willing to relocate and travel.  Seeks challanging position that will utilize established skills while developing others.  


You get the idea, about 3 sentences, to the point that this particular job warrents.  Use it to define who you are and what you want while setting expectations of the reader of who will be walking through the door for an interview.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Sandman on January 18, 2005, 05:08:56 PM
Not that it matters, but what is "aquaculture"?
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: SunTracker on January 18, 2005, 05:10:03 PM
growing fish and other aquatic animals in a closed setting.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: eskimo2 on January 18, 2005, 05:11:34 PM
Put your most recent and highest education first.  Be more specific in what you are looking for.  Show that you have a specific goal.

eskimo
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: SunTracker on January 18, 2005, 05:55:08 PM
DAVID B****
OBJECTIVE
   Enthusiastic, hard working individual seeking an entry-level position in the aquaculture industry.  Willing to relocate and travel.  Seeks position that will utilize established skills while developing others.
EXPERIENCE
   2001¡V2005   United Parcel Service                        Louisville, KY
Air Package Handler
ƒÞ   Employee of the month on three occasions.
ƒÞ   FAA airpark security clearance.
   1995-2004
„X   Multiple fresh and saltwater aquariums ranging from 38 to 55 gallons.

   
EDUCATION
   2002-2005   University of Louisville                      Louisville, KY
„X   Majored in biology.
„X   Earned 44 credits.
„X   22 credits in biology related classes.
2004
„X   NAUI certified Open Water Diver
„X   NAUI certified Advanced Open Water Diver
2001-2002   
Jefferson Community College             Louisville, KY
„X   Earned 12 credits.
1997¡V2001   Jeffersontown High School                 Louisville, KY
ƒÞ   Graduated with honors.
INTERESTS
   Scuba diving, wildlife photography, aquariums, hiking, reading.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Lizking on January 18, 2005, 06:16:13 PM
I wouldn't put the aquariums under work experience, but move that line down to hobbies.

Back when I was still in school for Marine Biology, I volunteered to maintain the display aquarium (600 gallon, I set it with local species) in the sciences building, and also assisted the grad students when mucking out their ponds to setup for experiments.  Have you been able to do anything like that?

(I was also able to take grad level courses as a junior by doing those things, including getting my own 1/20th acre experimental pond).
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: SunTracker on January 18, 2005, 06:23:10 PM
I haven't dont any volunteering, however, with my ecology class, I did some field work.  I measured aquatic insect diversity in two different streams.  Also measured tree diversity in a forest.

Heres the listing for the job I would like

Bivalve Nursery/Field Technician
Location:
Company: .
Company URL: Not Entered
Salary: $25,000 - $40,000
Closing Date: Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Date Posted: Friday, January 14, 2005

Qualifications:
Hard work, some heavy lifting, licensed diver, boating skills, work with tools and basic construction methods, aquaculture experience or strong desire

Description:
Full time, Mon-Fri, along with alternating weekend 1/2 day. The work is in a bivalve hatchery, nursery and field location. Hard clam rearing, grading, systems maintenance. Also, work on species such as bay scallops, oysters and others.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Lizking on January 18, 2005, 06:33:33 PM
Sounds like you are qualified, though you should probably expect stiff competiton and the lower end of the salary range.  Don't juice up your resume, but impress the hell out of them in the interview.  For certain bone up on the particular species they are raising.

Have you taken the Coast Guard boating safety course, and do you have any experience in commanding a small boat?  If so, put that on the resume.

 I would certainly talk about the field work, and any construction/plumbing experience you may have (in the interview).


Good luck, and remember that on this type of thing enthusiasm and a willingness to work hard is at least as important as your job expereince.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: SunTracker on January 18, 2005, 06:39:03 PM
Yeah I have alot of small boat experience (12 foot) but also some in my families 19 foot fish and ski.

Do I need a cover letter?
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Lizking on January 18, 2005, 06:46:14 PM
Always a cover letter.  Use standard business headings, then:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am responding to your advertisement of January 14, 2005 in the for the position of Bivalve Nursery/Field Technician.  My resume is attached <"included" if it is snailmal>.



I  look forward to discussing the offered position and your company, and can be reached at (555) 555.1212 during business hours.


Sincerely,

Suntracker



After you write it, read it aloud to yourself and it should take no more than 7-10 seconds to read.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Lizking on January 18, 2005, 06:53:20 PM
Just a few more hints:

Never staple or fold the resume/coverletter.  Use heavy bond, not colored paper, and use an envelope big enough to send without folding.  Use plain old stamps, no funky ones, and hand print the the addresses on the envelope.  If you have the contacts name, put Attention: to the lower left of the company address on the envelope.

Remember, the idea is to get your resume from the Big stack into the little stack, since the interviews all come from the little stack.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Chairboy on January 18, 2005, 07:00:39 PM
If you can fit your resume on one page without making it look squished, do it.  I gave preference to one paged resumes when I hired people.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: SunTracker on January 18, 2005, 07:00:50 PM
They said to email the resume.  Should I email the text or attach it as a file?
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Chairboy on January 18, 2005, 07:07:12 PM
If you email it, make the actual email itself your cover letter and attach the resume.  What program did you use to make it?  A suggestion, attach it as a .TXT that has been cleaned up (eg, no wacky characters like what you posted here) as well as a PDF or DOC.  If you send it as a DOC only, you're assuming that they have Office on their machine and that they enjoy opening word docs.

At my company, we run submitted word docs through a converter that strips out the bare text.  What we get isn't pretty, but it's macro free and doesn't take up two megs.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: weaselsan on January 18, 2005, 07:09:18 PM
he he....So your from KY...wanna hear some good Briar jokes.
I graduated from The University of Kentucky....Then I went to Ohio and started the Fifth Grade....:rofl
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: jEEZY on January 18, 2005, 07:11:19 PM
Axe the objective part

Switch education and experiance--education should be first

oh and you are majoring in bio, you haven't majored in anything yet (unless you have graduated)  include relevant gpas and be more specific with course names.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: weaselsan on January 18, 2005, 07:15:31 PM
Quote
Originally posted by jEEZY
Axe the objective part

Switch education and experiance--education should be first

oh and you are majoring in bio, you haven't majored in anything yet (unless you have graduated)  include relevant gpas and be more specific with course names.


And make sure you don't mispell experience:lol
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Lizking on January 18, 2005, 07:22:17 PM
Email, always use body of email for coverletter, and attach resume as file.  Be sure and put the position in the subject line, "Bivalve Nursery/Field Technician position"

  I prefer .pdf, but word is universal, though the formatting can be screwed by some Word setups.  .pdf is best.  One page resume for sure, even with 20 years of work experience, I still make it fit.

And run it through spell check a couple of times.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: SunTracker on January 18, 2005, 07:55:39 PM
Going to definately have to go with .doc file.  Txt files keep messing up and look bad.  Can I email someone my resume as a .doc file?  I kept it to one page.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Lizking on January 18, 2005, 07:56:52 PM
I can convert it to pdf, if you like.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Nash on January 18, 2005, 08:06:04 PM
Never put things like 'objectives' or 'interests' on a resume, ever. Keep it to your name, contact info, then education, then work experience, and that's it.

For the experience section, I use this format:

2001-2003
Cow Milker
Responsibilities included: Milking cows, miliking more cows....

(Just a sentence or two on the responsibilities.)

The place where you can be less formal is in the cover letter (which you must always always include). There you can talk about your interests or whatever, but basically it's there to do two things - to tell them why you want the job and why you think you deserve it. If you can do it in just a brief paragraph or two, all the better.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: SunTracker on January 18, 2005, 08:09:00 PM
My resume is going to be pretty short if I clip that stuff out.  All the templates have those sections automatically built into them.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Nash on January 18, 2005, 08:11:52 PM
Then your resume is short. But better than if you try and stick all that filler in there.

I always kinda chuckle when I see those "hobbies include" types of resumes. I'm sure I'm far from alone in that.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: AWMac on January 18, 2005, 08:15:13 PM
Quote
Originally posted by SunTracker
DAVID B****
OBJECTIVE
   Enthusiastic, devoted  individual seeking an above entry-level position in the microaquabiology culture research  industry.  Willing to relocate and travel.  Seeks position that will fully utilize my established skills while developing others. A true Team Player. Consistiently sharing knowledge with peers and willing to learn from others.

EXPERIENCE
   2001¡V2005   United Parcel Service                        Louisville, KY

*Enhanced FAA security access which distinguished myself above my many coworkers..
  1-Established an Air Packaging Policy which declined errors within the workforce by 98%.
  2-Implemented diverse procedures that achieved improvements within the FAA security.
 -3Achieved a 99.9% successful rate in regards to other FAA challenged Air Packaging elements.

*see? you showed up at work*
*Yes the FAA airpark security access comes with the job.*
  ~just gotta word it right.~ eliminate the numbers. 1, 2 & 3


State why YOU were Employee of the Month 3 times.  What set you above the others? ~see above~

Air Package Handler
ƒÞ   Employee of the month on three occasions.
ƒÞ   FAA airpark security clearance.


1995-2004  Was this a Home Hobby or a Multiple Business ordeal?

„X   Multiple fresh and saltwater aquariums ranging from 38 to 55 gallons.

   
EDUCATION  

  - Intensive studies within a wide scope of Aqua Marine Biology.

   NAUI certified Open Water Diver  Hours? -------
   NAUI certified Advanced Open Water Diver  Hours?--------



  DID YOU GRADUTE??? If so just state so.
  NO MINOR?

 Major:  "Marine Biology, Minor:  Oceanography"

  ~Continual aggressive studies at

    2002-Present    University of Louisville    

  INTERESTS
   Scuba diving, Aquatic Micro Biology.



NEVAR EVAR Mention Nash's name from AH BBS....  Otherwise you are SCR3W3D!

:D
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Lizking on January 18, 2005, 08:16:50 PM
Well, Nash, I don't know how many people you have hired, or how many thousands of resumes you have gone through, but I have hired a bunch, and in lieu of experience, I like to see that.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Nash on January 18, 2005, 08:21:21 PM
Good for you. :)
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: SunTracker on January 18, 2005, 08:26:55 PM
Thanks for the help guys.  I think my resume is in pretty good shape.  Need to write a cover letter now.  

This seems like it would be a really neat job, especially the location and the type of work it is.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: AWMac on January 18, 2005, 09:04:18 PM
Your Header



Mr. Sponge Bob Inc
Yellow Under the Sea
Davy Jones Locker, Sea
00000-0000                                                        18 January 2005



Dear Mr. Bob,

  I am willing to offer you 5 years of immaculate studies within Micro Aquatic and Oceanographic studies. I have followed the aggressive approach that you and your institute has presued.

  I believe I could be a major asset towards your goals.  I find it very interesting that you are seeking the same goals as I do at this time.

  Enclosed is a resume that generally outlines my talents.  Feel free at your convienience to either contact me via email or telephone.

  References are availible upon request.

  Regards,

  Personally sign this.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: AWMac on January 18, 2005, 09:08:42 PM
Chit...I'd hire myself now...But I know I kill GoldFish...


I was a hopeful,


:p
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Nash on January 18, 2005, 09:10:50 PM
Wait.... So your example of a cover letter wasn't supposed to be a joke? I'm confused.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: AWMac on January 18, 2005, 09:15:43 PM
Which explains Nashs Avatrad...and being a CanNUK....


LOL


:aok
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: Creamo on January 18, 2005, 09:16:11 PM
Not sure if you can still get it, but I have a program called Resume Pro which had tons of examples you could use to modify to your specific needs. Just cut, insert, save. Actually made plenty of spare $ doing resumes for airline employees with it. Keep it short and sweet, but do try and make it professional, and don’t be a afraid to highlight anything you might think is relevant to the specific job you are seeking that will interest them.  And we always added an “Objective”. I’d make it a bit more than “A position in the aquaculture industry” though. That’s just short of, “I want a job.”
 
From the looks of yours, you might want to get it done right for a fee. I’m thinking your cover letter may cause you some problems, as that’s what they would read first, b ut in the long run, it's the interview. Your going to get the job there, it's just getting the interview in the first place. Do what you can to get there.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: AWMac on January 18, 2005, 09:17:02 PM
Nash... Format stunninghunk...geez are you beyond THAT stupid?

:p
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: AWMac on January 18, 2005, 09:20:10 PM
I agree with Creamo... go to a Professional Resume writer and pay the bucks... It'll all pay off in the end.

Good Luck Bud,

:aok







Still if you mention Nash Yer Scr3W3d


M@C
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: SunTracker on January 18, 2005, 09:38:12 PM
This is my final outcome.  

OBJECTIVE
   Enthusiastic, hard working individual seeking an entry-level position in the aquaculture industry.  Willing to relocate and travel.  Seeks position that will utilize established skills while developing others.
EXPERIENCE
   2001–2005   United Parcel Service                   Louisville, KY
Air Package Handler
*   Employee of the month on three occasions.
*   FAA airpark security clearance.

*   Small boat handling experience, including towing and launching.
*      Certified scuba diver.
   
EDUCATION
   2002-2005   University of Louisville               Louisville, KY
   Majoring in biology.
*   Earned 44 credits.
*   22 credits in biology related classes.
2004                  Louisville Dive Shop
*   NAUI certified Open Water Diver
*   NAUI certified Advanced Open Water Diver
2001-2002   Jefferson Community College    Louisville, KY
*   Earned 12 credits.
1997–2001   Jeffersontown High School         Louisville, KY
*   Graduated with honors.
INTERESTS
   Scuba diving, wildlife photography, aquariums, hiking, reading.
Title: Critique my resume
Post by: rpm on January 18, 2005, 10:27:41 PM
Mac, you forgot to run spellchecker. The proper wording is 73h 5cr3W3d.