Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: jEEZY on January 26, 2005, 09:50:22 PM
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Ninjas or Pirates ?
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Pirates :D
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Nah man. Ninjas. Those shreckers can really jump.
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yep. ninjas all the way.
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Ninja Wizards.
Possibly bears with lasers in their eyes.
Damn I'm so nerdy.
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what if the ninjas couldn't backflip during the fight? change your answers?
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Darn!
Pirates got PWND by the ugly ninjas
OH WOE IS ME!
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Originally posted by jEEZY
what if the ninjas couldn't backflip during the fight? change your answers?
nope. they'd have already gutted the bastards before they ever saw them coming, besides, youd have to handicap
the pirates if you did that...no peglegs.
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Originally posted by lasersailor184
Possibly bears with lasers in their eyes.
.
Nah, the sharks with bees in their mouths that shoot bees when they open their mouths take out the bears with lasers in their eyes. sorry
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(http://waroffice.us/images/pirates.jpg)
:rofl
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What about a Pirate who was left for dead by his mutinous crew, who set him adrift on a raft just off the coast of Japan. He is then found by a band of Ninjas who come inches from chopping off his stinky pirate head when the Ninja master takes pity on him and orders them to stop. Finally, after healing and learning the deadly ninja arts, he leads them into battle against his former crew. Backflips or no, those Pirate led Ninjas would be going berzerk and chopping off heads left and right. HARRRRR-YA!
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All that needed was a WAILLIIIIING GUITAR!
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only if tom cruise played the pirate and the lead ninja was nickleson.
only if.
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Granted, Ninjas would stomp the Pirates into a grease spot, but NOTHING can beat a Wizard.
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Thanks JB88...I just threw up in my mouth a little.
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:rofl
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what if chuck norris (circa 1976) is leading the ninjas but the pirates are allied with zombies ? Nobody has laser technology and the nijas still are unable to backflip?
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when have the zombies ever won? by adding chuck youve just increased the chances of a quick ninja success.
you might argue that the zombies cant die...but they probably cant swim too well either.
maybe, just maybe if you gave the zombies laser beams, but i doubt it...thier heart wouldnt be in it really.
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Chuck Norris is a big studmuffin. After he got done creeping out the Ninjas by groping their buttocks and making sexually suggestive comments to all of them, they'd be so weirded out that they wouldn't even see the Zombies stumbling upon them. Then, the pirates kill all of the zombies, and head back to sea, with Chuck Norris in the barrel, living out his dreams at sea.
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granted chuck pre texas rangers was a bad ass--but zombies have been known to kick some serious bellybutton when necessary. case in point dawn of the dead. although I must admit that the zombie-pirate coalition of the willing may not be as strong in fact as they are on paper.
hmm the gay chuck norris throws a wrench in the ninja ranks--how about if we evened the score and made the pirate-zombie alliance led by richard simmons (pre sweatin)?
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:rofl
then we'd be back at square one, save the fact that the richard simmons *****slap might not be all that effective against the ninjas, though they may be thrown off my the perfect limpness of the wrist.
id still say ninjas.
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Robert Conrad could kick all of their arses
Karaya
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Ninjas.. Wanna know why? Go here:
http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm
:rofl :rofl :rofl
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Facts:
1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
wtf? lolololol
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
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Keep reading 88.. that site is fuggin hilarious
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(http://www.thehowdydoodyuniverse.net/rup/ultimatemurder.JPG)
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(http://www.thehowdydoodyuniverse.net/rup/timelinepat.gif)
no f way. im about to pee my pants im laughing so hard.
damn, it doesnt show up
:aok
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JB just discovered realultimatepower.
Our boy is growing up right before our eyes.
Take a little peice of time out of each and every one of your days to appreciate the small miracles.
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Originally posted by Nash
JB just discovered realultimatepower.
Our boy is growing up right before our eyes.
Take a little peice of time out of each and every one of your days to appreciate the small miracles.
Go easy on him Nash. Tomorrow he'll whack his trouser mouse off with the Katana.
Karaya
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um.
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f**kin chuck norris.
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really. i havent laughed that hard since i came across this. (http://www.subgenius.com/pam1/pamphlet_p1.html)
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yay.
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Ninjas, cause they are sweet
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north sea pirates or south sea pirates?
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id consider both.
and the other five too.
its my contention that niether could take the ninjas.
its just not possible.
even with laser beams.
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lazs will shoot them all.
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QUAH!!!
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shotguns for ninjas... they are tiny and move fast.
cruise is too short to be a ninja or even an oriental.
88, thanks for getting all dressed up for us... and thanks to your boyfriend too for playing the ninja. Cig?
lazs
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Originally posted by loser
lazs will shoot them all.
But you have not addressed the zombies, Golly-geemit what about the zombies!!!
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Originally posted by JB88
(http://www.thehowdydoodyuniverse.net/rup/ultimatemurder.JPG)
This is an obvious fake--look at the eyes of the ninja. The imposter is trying to say that a ninja with a guitar would whoop a pirate. Although the idea of a ninja "totally flipping out" and stabing people senseless with a guitar then hacking their heads off and setting them on the amplifier is totally awesome, it is simply implausable. Unless of course the ninja was chuck norris (circa Delta Force). As an aside, a real ninja wouldn't sh*t Tom Cruise.
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Ya gotta have a wizard in th group to heal the ninjas up so they can keep kickin a**. In LOK I used to love takin my Thaumaturge character along on hunting parties. I'd just stand back and let the Knights and Martial arts guys do all the heavy lifting, while I cast heal and str spells. Then I'd get to share in the spoils.
Cod, I miss those days:(
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But you have not addressed the zombies, Golly-geemit what about the zombies!!!
Slow old school zombies or new high speed zombies? What about Ninja or Pirate zombies -- the best of both worlds. Or ninja/priate zombies -- about unstoppable.
Charon
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Originally posted by lazs2
shotguns for ninjas... they are tiny and move fast.
cruise is too short to be a ninja or even an oriental.
88, thanks for getting all dressed up for us... and thanks to your boyfriend too for playing the ninja. Cig?
lazs
laz,
you couldnt even dream to touch my ninja with your wannabe pirate mullet. and quit talking about man sex. makes you sound gheyer than you normally do. see somebody. talk it out. you'll feel better.
no thanks, i quit.
boot to the head.
88
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Today my job sucks, but threads like this make life worth living...
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No one has talked about the setting, Pirates on their own ship have the edge, but if the skulking ninjas catch the in a tavern? Then its prolly the ninjas
Quah!
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someone say wizards?
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 **** of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me *****, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
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no way. ninjas would know to sneak onto the ship while the mullet pirates were sleeping.
the pirate would be like...zzzzzzzzzzzzz
and the ninja would be like ... nunchaku to skull! silent but deadly.
ok. so lets say its daytime.
ninjas are better with swords. ninjas chop thier heads off. muskets dont aim well. one shot and ninja swoop behind and break his neck with ninja death twist.
mullet pirates might try to use cannons, but ninja small and flexible. ninja just dodge.
ninjas do it to kill. pirates do it for money.
ninjas dont care about money, they care about killing pirates.
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Originally posted by JB73
someone say wizards?
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 **** of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me *****, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
ROFLMAO :rofl
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Originally posted by JB88
ROFLMAO :rofl
like that?
shall i introduce 88 to it?
http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=90113
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lol
nice.
:D
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You are forgeting the deadly Parrot factor, they have razor claws, and stealth, they would fly in and take the ninjas eyes, then the pirates would have there way with the ninjas!!
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ya, but you are assuming that the parrots arent drunk.
everybody knows the parrots would be drunk.
the pirates have to keep em that way so they dont mind getting doinked.
:)
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Thats were the pirate monkeys come in, they fight better drunk, and are PISSED that the parrots get all the loven, they will take out their anger on the ninjas, using the monkey death dung thrown with deadly acuracy!
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tell you what, you can have the monkeys (though they have yet to be approved) if the ninjas can have super mario brothers.
ninjas still win anyway.
they have developed a tolerence to monkey death dung. its one of thier first classes.
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Ok, well in a strait fight you are probably right, the Ninjas win.
BUT, Ninjas have a problem. They are hired assassin. This will cause them trouble.
Let me out a scenario.
The Governor of a small island is pissed that his only daughter is sleeping around with a dirty Pirate. He hears about these so called Ninjas and hires them. Well while he is going over the price the daughter over hears what is going on. She goes to her Pirate lover and tells him.
The Pirates know what is coming and can prepare. First that go kidnap 50 hot chicks, and then chain them naked to the deck of the ship. Then they get the parrots off the booze, and start feeding the monkeys Lute fish. This will make the Monkeys poo extra potent.
Then they prepare the ambush.
Now when the Ninjas show up, they will see all these naked western women and it will put there training to the test, see Ninjas don’t get laid much, because they have to train all the time. They are either training, killing or rocking out. No time for broads.
They will freeze when confronted with all this easily had women flesh.
That’s when the parrots, monkeys and Pirates swing into action, taking the stunned Ninjas out.
Victory Pirates.
:D
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so what you are saying is, that if the fight isnt straight, and the pirates are gay (because, dont pirates like naked chicks too? and how often do they get laid on a ship without the courtesy of a reach around.)
in this scenario, the only pirates that would fight would be the non gay pirates and the one who is dating the princess...assuming that she isnt actually setting them up for a trap as women often do.
so, unless you are saying that the pirate who is dating the princess is david hasslehoff, i dont see how this increases the odds any. in fact, ninjas are smart compared to pirates so they would know that all that they had to do is kill the pirates and get thier jiggy ninja love rock solid with the babies.
and i just dont think david hasselhoff is pirate. hes definately ninja.
accounting for the sober monkeys and the donkey dung is more difficult. but monkies are not exactly what you would call sharp shooters and parrots dont have the ability to flng poop...that and you have to factor in the disease factor with all of that poop being hoarded. id say the pirates would have died of dysentary long before the ninjas had a chance to rescue and wash the poop off thier newfound honeys.
victory for the ninjas!
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What was the name of the movie that had Peter O'tool in it I think. That had the pirates that took over the Coast Guard cutter in some Bahamian islands? That was a good movie. It showed an outnumbered one of the good guys martial art fighting numerous pirates on the sailboat after pirates boarded. He was brave.
Les
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See now you are assuming that the pirates are gay! Far from it. Pirating is all about pilaging and taking any women you want, thats part of the looting and sacking towns.
Pirates get so much, that sometimes they need a break, and that break comes when Ninjas come to play.
Hell they could even go the Bio war route, the pirates have the chicks, giving them all kinds of diseses.
Then the ninjas overcome with hornyness, because there lifestle gets them no chicks, hell they are like monks, they do the chicks anyway.
Ninjas do not know what penacilin is. Ninjas die. Pirates go on living a life a booty and booty!
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Originally posted by JB88
and i just dont think david hasselhoff is pirate. hes definately ninja.
I beg to differ. No self-respecting ninja would be caught dead in Baywatch.
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perhaps i was setting a trap.
or then, maybe he is...pamela anderson certainly is ninja.
why would she hang with a pirate?
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That scank ho is CLEARLY been used by every pirate from here to hell.
The first Ninja to stick his little sword in her will have it rott off!
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all this pirate talk got me horny:
sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don't ******* laugh at me!
bloodninja: This **** is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a ******* break
bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are ******* sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: **** you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A ******* COP YOU ********!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go **** yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: **** YOU!!!
bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a ******* *******!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth ****.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your **** bringing it in and out of my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I **** harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: ...still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your *******.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly bellybutton
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a ******* candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: **** YOU *******!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
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Originally posted by GtoRA2
That scank ho is CLEARLY been used by every pirate from here to hell.
The first Ninja to stick his little sword in her will have it rott off!
lol.
wish i could stay and explain to you how she is actually a nun who is working for the ninjas and who also has a body double for homemovies...but i have to go now...heading out of town for a few.
ive enjoyed this one. perhaps well pick up where we left off when i return...it should give you some time to create a scenario that isnt swissy, if ya know what i mean.
PIRATE LOVER!
:)
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Is David Hasslehoff a Ninja?
By Kotu Hirogashimoto Katnamasaka, ninja death master, eyeball ripper outer, 10th degree.
Copyright 1985, Ninja Times Magazine.
One should never underestimate a Ninja. Through my many years of backflipping, freakng out and tearing out the eyes of my opponents i have come to find this to be one of the most crucial lessons that a young ninja can learn.
when seeking out a ninja in the modern setting, few pirates recognize that they can be everywhere, take on any form and kill without ever being detected or even suspected.
Some of the worlds most high ranking ninjas are even prominent members of society who go unseen each day, each of them fullfilling thier role as ninjas through backflipping, nunchaku wielding and the ancient art of poo defense amonst other traditional forms in total secrecy.
David Hasselhoff is just such a ninja.
On Oct. 15th 1981, an order was handed down by the grand high ninja, master quang tu ho, commanding that a particularly deadly young ninja by the name of mike Wolpowski was to travel to hollywood and infiltrate the scene; thereby making it possible to assasinate pirates who travelled high in the social circles of the global entertainment industry.
having already proven himself worthy of intricate forms of deception and disguise, young wolpowski realized that in order to fulfill his duty he was going to have to select only the most brilliant of disguises. one day while he was watching television while spin kicking his pirate dummy an episode of magnum PI came on.
he was instantly enlighted.
he realized two very important things at that moment.
1. action heros get all the chicks.
2. action heros get invited to all of the best parties. (where he can get access and assasinate the high ranking hollywood pirates)
having been enlightened, the young wolpowski changed his name to david hasselhoff and set off for hollywood.
things were tough for hasselhoff at first. the greatest difficulty came with his appearance...being a relatively unatractive man, he realized that he was going to have to change his look so he sought out the help of another well known ninja, arnold schwartzeneggar to direct him towards a good image reconstructionist.
after several months of grueling classes and runway excercizes, hasselhoff was ready and he began sending out headshots.
he landed his first series shortly thereafter in the role of the lead action hero Knight Rider. it is rumored that during this period he and Kit were directly responsible for the death of over 100 pirates who tried to kill them season after season.
(turn to page 173 for rest of article.)