Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: SLO on March 09, 2005, 04:59:25 AM
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The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of flying.
There is an art, it says, or rather a knack to flying.
The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Pick a nice day, it suggests, and try it.
The first part is easy.
All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it’s going to hurt.
That is, it’s going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground.
Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard.
Clearly, it’s the second point, the missing, which presents the difficulties.
One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It’s no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won’t. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you’re halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it’s going to hurt if you fail to miss it.
It is notoriously difficult to prise your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people’s failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport.
If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner.
This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration.
Bob and float, float and bob.
Ignore all considerations of your own weight and simply let yourself waft higher.
Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful.
They are most likely to say something along the lines of, “Good God, you can’t possibly be flying!”
It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.
Waft higher and higher.
Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops breathing regularly.
Do not wave at anybody.
When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of distraction rapidly becomes easier and easier to achieve.
You will then learn all sorts of things about how to control your flight, your speed, your manoeuvrability, and the trick usually lies in not thinking too hard about whatever you want to do, but just allowing it to happen as if it was going to anyway.
You will also learn how to land properly, which is something you will almost certainly **** up, and **** up badly, on your first attempt.
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Hitchikers Guide to the wha???.....
never heard of such nonsense.
Zaphod
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Snowed in up there today?:confused:
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LMAO SLO!!!
Douglas Adams was a true genius of our time.
may he RIP.
if you havnt read said book(s), you havnt really lived yet.
read them.
now.
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lol zaphod
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Originally posted by mechanic
LMAO SLO!!!
Douglas Adams was a true genius of our time.
may he RIP.
if you havnt read said book(s), you havnt really lived yet.
read them.
now.
agreed 100%
movie should be out soon too...
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If you liked that series....you really need to read the two Dirk Gently books also.
Zaphod
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42
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Great books.
I do hope they don't hollywierdise them in the film.
Arthur Dent is a tea drinking, dressing gown wearing Englishman.
I hope he stays that way.
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Originally posted by Zaphod
Hitchikers Guide to the wha???.....
never heard of such nonsense.
Zaphod
:rofl :lol :rofl :D
Made my day.
(http://www.onpoi.net/ah/pics/users/209_1081438631_swoop.gif)
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:rofl I do this every night in my dreams. Maybe time to try it when I'm awake...after a 12 pack of course.
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Where do I find this guide? Is it in with the road maps and stuff?
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Look in the Vogon library.
Under 'poetry'.
Have the librarian read it to you.
can I have your parking place?
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Originally posted by APDrone
Look in the Vogon library.
Under 'poetry'.
Have the librarian read it to you.
can I have your parking place?
:rofl
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Zaphod when you get hangover, which head hurts the most?
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Originally posted by FiLtH
Where do I find this guide? Is it in with the road maps and stuff?
Look under that stack of curly paged Penthouse mags.
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Originally posted by Siaf__csf
Zaphod when you get hangover, which head hurts the most?
LOL