Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Jackal1 on May 02, 2005, 09:58:21 AM
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Yesterday my best friend lost his life.
He had had back surgery a few years ago and then had to have it repaired because the first attempt was botched.
During his healing time the doctors put him on pain killers such as hydrocodone, then progessed to morphene and oxycontin, etc.
He got so addicted to this stuff during recovery that he never got off of them.
His wife sort of got into the mix and it just steam rolled from there. They both would have periods of time when it would get extremely out of hand. Pain killers, valium, any downer would do in a bind when they were on a roll.
The sad part is, both of the people are/was great people in general. They just had a monkey on their back that they couldn`t or wouldn`t shake.
Two winters ago I watched this guy nearly kill hisself on this crap on numerous occasions. The shape he got in was nearly unbearable to witness.
In early spring I had seen enough and went to him and told him if he was determined to kill hisself, fine, but I wasn`t going to be around to watch it. I layed the smack down across the board and rattled his cage pretty good.
Basicaly I told him to quit azzing around and finish the job or get off his butt and on his feet and to dump the BS. Seemed to work pretty well through the summer. I took him out fishing as often as possible, etc. He did pretty well during the summer and seemed to have shook it, then.......this past winter it was a rerun.
To make a long story short, yesterday they were both doing the nod with the wife driving. Out she goes. He is dead and she has her neck broken in three places. Lives lost and wasted.
If you have an addiction prob and you can`t handle it yourself.... Get Help Now before it is too late.
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Jackal,
my sympathies. I have been down this road with someone else in my life, and it pains me to the core to this very day.
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Jackel,
Sorry you lost your buddy. You tried to save him but in the end the only one who could was himself.
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My condolences Jackal. Sad news.
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Sorry to hear Jackal
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As an update, last night they sent the wife home. Unbelievable how fast they shuffle peeps through the doors now.
She is in a brace from waist to ears. They are not sure yet if they are going to have to put her in a halo.
Today at 9:00 A.M. my bro`s oldest daughter is to meet and make the final arrangements for his funeral.
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All sad stuff.
We have our differences you and I but this is not great. She'll need freinds right now and I expect you are a good one.
Sorry to hear this.
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Sorry to hear of your loss Jackal.
I see WAY too many people heading down that same road all the time in my job, most of them still in what should be the prime of their lives. It kills me to see them with that monkey on their back.
Medicine has become a way of life with so many people, just as normal and vital as eating and breathing.
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One member of my family were adicted on morphium. He used to spend a lot of time in hospital after he were 4x times shot to his belly.
When he were able to walk and be back on his own legs again (aprox 6 months later) he dramaticaly changed his life and he trashed all problems at once, include morphium need.
he simply took his boat and sailed away.
Seeing friends/family in hospital sux.
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Jackal,
I am sorry to hear this. At least you tried.
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Very sorry to hear this Jackal...
dont know what else to say :(
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Sorry to hear of your friend.
Regarding painkillers. Painkillers may be addictive to some people but to others they have no affect at all.
I have been on prescription Percocet twice. Once for a few weeks after surgery on my leg to fix a broken femur and once when I hurt my back. Both times I was taking one every 4 hours and went through close to 200 over the two periods I was on them.
I never felt the slightest inclination to take one after the pain had subsided.
I guess the moral of the story is to see how prone to addiction a person is. If they "need" coffee every day, if they use tobacco products, if they drink lots of Coke or have other traits that indicate they may get easily addicted to things best that you watch them like a hawk if they are prescribed pain medication.
And tell the person's Dr about this as well.
Even when my back pain was at its worst (and that was really bad) laying down and not moving would relieve most of the worst of it. If someone had let me lay down and not move much (to get up for water or food or a for bathroom break etc) I could probably have survived without the percocet. It was the necessity of having to get up and do things that caused the need for the painkillers in my case.
The hospital has jugs to relieve yourself in and bedpans and they will sponge clean you if you can't get up. It is possible to have a person in pain at home and keep them in bed to heal. Laying in bed for 3 weeks not on painkillers might be the best choice for some people versus giving painkillers to an addict.
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I've been doing this medical stuff for a long time, going on 10 years now, and the general consensus, and what we tell our patients is.....if you are truly in pain, the chances of addiction (physical) are pretty low. Therein lies the rub......too many patients develop this fear of experiencing that pain again, and they develop a psychological addiction. Thus, even tho their injuries may heal, and there be no physical cause for pain, their mind/psyche creates pain.....then they are hooked, sometimes for life.
I've seen a lot of folks with severe injuries who took a PILE of pain killers come out with no addiction.......and I've seen folks with relatively (to me) minor injuries get hooked in a heartbeat on low doses of painkillers.
Regardless, hats off to Jackal........you are a true friend, sir, and I you for attempting to help your friend get that monkey off his back. Too many "friends" look the other way and just let someone destroy his or her self.
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MY sincere condolences to the young women who survived and her family and friends. Now is not the time to give up on her.
It is a hard world
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Jackal, my heart-felt condolences go out to you and your friend's family.:(
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My thoughts are with you ...
NwBie
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Never thought a few days could be so long.
My bro lost his life on Sunday and we had the funeral today (Friday).
The family night was on Thursday.
He got exactly what he wanted and what we had discussed on quite a few occasions. His jeans, his shirt, his rings, and most importantly, his doo rag.
Never been to an all day long funeral, but basicaly that`s what this was. Services was to be held at 10:00 A.M. this morning.
We`ve done some ,what other people would consider some weird stuff, at biker funerals in my life, but I got to say this was a hell fo a tribute.
After us pallbearers got our Boutonnieres pinned on , we stepped out into the entrance lobby of the chapel. I was standing there when it sunk through that what I was hearing was actualy being piped through the entire place. It was Stairway To Heaven. :) After that came Knocking On Heavens Door. His daughter had made a disc with the music that was played continously and had a screen set up beside the casket with a continuous slide show of David with all of us at different times when we were having fun and with him and his grandkids. Was pretty touching and one of the most cool things I had ever seen done as a tribute.
Services over and we set off on a 1 1/2 to 2 hour journey to the piney woods , ten or so mile out of Troup Texas to lay him to rest beside of his brother. Way out there in a small little place with nothing but trees, sky and quiet . Was too cool.
Of course the wife wasn`t able to make the final journey due to her condition, but she was able to attend the funeral.
Upon returning home this afternoon, myself and my wife walked over to talk to his wife. I stayed a few minutes and then had to return home because I had one of the pallbearers waiting on me. My wife stayed for a while.
After an hour or so my wife came and got me and said that David`s wife wanted to talk to me.
I went back to their house. He was supposed to go into the hospital this week for an angiogram and hopefully just angioplasty, but he had been told that it could possibly be more serious.
His wife told me that he had discussed with her what he wanted done if something unexpected happened. One of his requests was that I recieve his replica Harley collection.
So, this is what she wanted to give me. We both loved HDs and both had a collection of some pretty detailed stuff.
One of his that I got was one we had both ooed and awed over many times. It was one he had gotten on a trip to Tennessee last year. It is a hand carved, super detailed sculpture out of beautifull wood. The rest are some of the most awesome detailed replicas you can imagine.
They are now resting in shelves in my living room. Something that will always be a reminder of him, our good times and all we shared in common.
Probably a rambling most are not interested in, but means a lot to me.
Ride on bro. You will be missed, but always remembered.
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I had a close call with Vicoden last year after a abcessed wisdom tooth.
Granted I was able to walk away, but I had to hand the last pills to my wife & say put these where I can't find em. I've been thought a lot in my life, and it was perhaps the hardest thing I've ever done.
My dad (81 now) is the strongest man I know, (in every respect) and he fought the same battle with Codine after a hernia surgery.
The world is a whole different place when seen through a "LaLa" pills purple haze.
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Maybe I am lucky, but the few times I have had pain pills prescribed, I didnt feel anything close to addiction. Took them as needed, as little as possible, then stopped when I didnt need them.
Pepsi and Pistachios is more addictive to me.
My sympathies on the loss of your friend. My best friend died a year ago and I still feel the hole in my life that left.
dago