Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: AWMac on June 09, 2005, 09:44:50 PM
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http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=3454198
http://toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050609/NEWS03/506090426/-1/NEWS
http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=3451279
http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/news/050805BikeHitFatal.html
Tessa is my Niece...Until some handsomehunk 19 year old punk kid in a car took her young life away from all her Family and those that loved her. On Bryne all the cars had stopped to let Tessa and her friend cross the road, but this impatient dipchit decided to pass around the cars.. he just couldn't wait....He also fled the scene....'cept he lost his Lic Plate.
It wasn't long ago when I asked for prayers when my Brother died, Jan '04, Eric was Tessa's Father. This just really hurts deep to no end. My Sister-in-Law Kim is just living in a fog right now and needs some prayers for strength to get through all of this grief. Any and all are welcomed. Power though Prayers.
I bet it was her Dad, My Brother, that caused the Lic Plate to fall off, otherwise this punkass kid would have gotten away. Also this kid has prior Felonies and was driving on a suspended Lic.
Tessa was an Angel in real life. Today I lost a part of my heart that will never be replaced.
(http://abclocal.go.com/images/0609tessawrede.jpg)
Tess Hon, Uncle Fred will never forget you Dear.
Mac
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i am so sorry to here that mac.
damn.
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My condolences, Mac.
I can't imagine how bad it must be for sister-in-law.
I will indeed add her to the list, along with your brother and niece.
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Mac
Man I am so sorry...
I do not know what else to say.
You have my prayers bro............
That ****ing kid deserves the chair.
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Thanks JB88, Toad and GTO. Lord know she needs all the help she can get. Kim hasn't eaten or slept since this has happened.
Mac
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I agree he needs the chair. He and his Girlfriend have been in jail since and two others that were in the car are being questioned and will likely be charged as accomplisses. It was hours before they gave themselves up. His girlfriend tried to say she was the driver until she found out Tessa had died.
Yeah it's bad to hit a kid but to run... witnesses even said he sped up after hittin her.
I hope he's really being welcomed in jail by the others inside that have children.
They all need to burn.
Mac
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That's just horrible.. Mac; I'm so sorry to hear this.
A bitter sad thing.. my deepest condolences to you and the family.
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Mac, I'm not usually religious, but for the children of the world I will pull any favor in I can. Add my prayers to you and the family for your neice bro.
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My sincere condolences. Just tragic.
Charon
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Sorry about the loss buddy. I have put your family on my list as well. Its never good when things like this happen but at least they know who did it and have them in a place where they are beginning to feel the pain that they inflicted on someone else.
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I'm so sorry to hear of this, Mac. This is beyond words.
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I taught Tess how to swim, helped her with riding her Bike... all this after her Dad died. She needed a Father figure. Old Biblical saying goes "Am I not my Brothers Keeper?"
I said yes. My Sister-in-Law is as my Sister, Her Daughters are as of mine. Kim is a great Woman and this just ripped her heart in half.
I just pray that she can make it through all of this. Way too much for alot of us to handle in 2 years.
Mac
I have eyes puffed up as a frog... dammm allergies...
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My life this past year has been pretty unhappy, and I have spent alot of time feeling sorry for myself (as evidenced by some of my replies to posts lately).
I read this Mac, and am at a loss for words, but I will try.
What I have experienced the past year is nothing compared to what you and your family have gone through. It kind of made me think and re-evaluate a few things.
I'm not sure about what is "right" here, but I am sure that God just got a new Angel, and she is making me do a lot of soul searching.
My deepest condolences to all of you.
Keep the strength.
RTR
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Mac,
My condolences to you and yours. No words of mine can ever come close to easing the pain you must be feeling. I had a similar tagedy a year ago this past December, and i don't ever think the pain leaves.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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AWMAC,
I am truly grieved to hear about your loss.
In seminary, one of my friends was killed one evening while going out to pick up doughnuts and a video for his family. He was hit at an intersection by a drunk driver on a suspended license, driving with his lights off. It took some time just to get over the shock that the man I had been joking with in Greek class a few hours before was dead, his wife widowed, and his children made fatherless, and all because a fellow decided that "the man" wasn't gonna take away his right to go out, get blitzed, and then drive home.
A little while afterwards I wrote this sermon (http://www.providencepca.com/sermons/1thes4.html) more than partly I suppose as a reaction to some of the people who were maintaining we shouldn't grieve at such a tragic loss...
There is of course, nothing I can say that will remove the pain of such a loss, but if I can let me say don't let hatred for the sinful morons who took your niece's life consume you, it never does any good, quite the opposite.
I'll certainly be in prayer for you and your request to our congregational prayer list. If I can help in any other way, please don't hesitate to ask.
Grace and peace to you,
SEAGOON
PS: I sometimes give out the following booklet written by a British Pastor to those who ask the legitimate question, why do awful things like this happen, how could God have allowed it? Where is God When Things Go Wrong? (http://www.johnblanchard.org/newsline/Where%20is%20God%20when%20things%20go%20wrong%20-%20final%20draft.pdf)
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You and the family has my deepest condolences AWMac.
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Sorry to hear this Mac :(
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Terrible. Thoughts and prayers otw for her and those she's left behind.
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Very sorry to hear that Mac, my deepest condolences to you and your family.
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Sorry Mac
I know she knows but keep telling ur sister-in-law that she is with her father, your brother, again. In our prayers & thoughts.
Yes, I believe the plate did not fall off by itself
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Positively infuriating
My most sincere and profound condolences
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My sincerest condolences.
This type of thing is so infuriating. If the punk had already committed other felonies, as one article stated, then why was he still free to roam the streets?
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My condolences.
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A sad thing indeed Mac.
I don`t think we are ever ready to give up a family member, nor or we ever prepared, but one so young always is the hardest.
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Children shouldn't die.
damn
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Thanks for the prayers, Kim really needs them. She's taking it really hard.
They were all gonna go to Myrtle Beach the first week of July. Tessa's Birthday was July 5th. Kim had to pick out a casket yesterday...
This feels like a bad dream.
Mac
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..............
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seagoon, that was a nice sermon. you are gifted.
mac, i am still at a loss for words, but i am wishing and praying for all the best for you and your family.
i want you to know that it will get better, but it is going to take alot of time and alot of patience.
a friend of mine lost her husband a few years ago, and then her son took his own life not too long after. (her husband saved her daughter from drowning and succumbed to a heart attack in the process...he died holding her out of the water.)
she was a wreck, but she climbed back out of it and is slowly coming back into focus. it takes time and energy and committment and friends and family who care enough to watch over you.
she went down a destructive path for awhile, but her family refused to let her go. they practiced forgiveness and patience and love and they stuck by her like velcro on a geeks tennis shoes.
you take care of her mother mac.
remind her over the long haul that the sun still rises, the world goes on and that there is beauty everywhere.
it takes a long time. but its possible for all of you.
i dont know what i would do in your shoes...but i am hoping that you are a better man than myself.
good luck and god bless you and your family.
88
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what a scumbag
my deepest sympathies and prayers go out to the whole family.
God speed, and God bless.
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That really breaks my heart..
I can't imagine how difficult this is for you..
Your probally right, your Brother and Dad made that license plate fall off..
I'll have a few thoughts and a prayer for you...
She looks like she's very smart, and is probally up there playing her favorite game.
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Mac,
There simply are no words to make this better for you or her Mom. I'm so sorry to hear things like this happen to children. Thoughts and prayers.
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Hard to concentrate at work.
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our condolences mac, what a senseless tragedy.
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Wow Mac. Really sorry this happened. Your poor sister-in-law. I can't imagine what she is going through. I certainly understand it must be tough to concentrate at work...can't you take some time off?
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It's best to be at work... I don't know. Guess the BIG Guy upstairs has a sense of humor... I'm turning up 911 circuits today.
Feels like I lost one of my own children... in my heart I did.
Mac
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Originally posted by Seagoon
There is of course, nothing I can say that will remove the pain of such a loss, but if I can let me say don't let hatred for the sinful morons who took your niece's life consume you, it never does any good, quite the opposite.
Thank you Seagoon for the good advice. Good sermon also.
I'll pass this on to Kim.
Mac
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My thoughts are with you and your family, Mac. I have been there and nothing can describe the pain. It is little solace, but time will heal the spirit's wounds.
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damn mac. there is nothing i can say. im so sorry to hear that. she will have someone up there close to her to look after her.
that is a real choker.
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Mac,
Again I would like to express my condolences.
Seegoon said it best about hatred, when my father died in a fire over a year ago i blamed everybody under the sun. I was so consumed by hatred it almost destoyed me from within.
Turn this into a something constructive; name a street, a park, a building after this little angel. Keep your head up and be strong for her.
Although I would petition the the court when this person is found guilty to have her picture displayed in his jail cell.
regards,
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I pray to help your sister and all the family throught this time
Makes my throat swell thinkn about this...Makes you think of your own family members either passed away ..or going thru various cancer treatments...My cousin Elizabeth is having a 2nd surgery for a thyroid cancer shes 20 now.
Mac and Family peace be with you
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Kim said many people were laying flowers and teddy bears at the spot where Tessa was hit.
mac
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Like I usally say Mac.
If God dosn't have a sense of Humor I'd rather spend eternity in hell.
Nothing can be said to ease the pain, like others have said, but take into consideration that, not only family members, and people in your town, but your friends and enemys alike here on AH are mourning the same loss as you are, never forget, you are not alone..
Rejoice in her life.. Not in her death.
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I ... no words.
Im not a very religious man mac, but i will pray for you and yours anyway.
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There is no words.
Condolances to your familly AWMac
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I read all the links and video...my heart goes out to you.
Im just floored that people stopped to let her cross and he shot around them. I didnt see that mentioned by the press yet...perhaps it will later.
Hang in there. Prayers have been sent.
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Seagoon check your emails.
Mac
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Truly awful, my condolences.
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Sorry Mac, hang in there
shamus
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Man I got little nieces. That sucks, I'm sorry Mac.
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My condolences Mac, prayers sent.
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One of the most painful things to read....
http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/dclassifieds?Dato=20050610&Kategori=CLOBITUARIES&Class=6&Type=CAT0360&Lopenr=5135992&Selected=17
mac
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AWMac,
I’m stunned and saddened. I’ve been trying to figure out what to say in a thread like this, but I’m basically speechless. What an incredible tragedy. As a father of 3 little girls, and a teacher to hundreds, this is hard to imagine.
eskimo
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Mac, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll never understand why people do things like that.
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I'm drained...just so at a loss. I'm living in a fog that is hard to get out of. If the kid had waited 2 minutes, if Tessa had waited 2 minutes, life would have been different.
I'm fighting alotta feelings now, rage, hate, hopelessness..everything beyond my control. Yet I'm trying to be strong for Kim. She is the one who has lost the most. She is far worse off than I am. Please keep the Prayers going. This Wednesday is the hardest since the death.
I thank all of you deeply for the prayers.
mac
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Mac, my deepest condolences for you, your sister-in-law and your family. No one should ever have to suffer the pain of losing a child.
Seagoon said something very true, pretty powerful and extraordinarily hard to live up to, but he is right.
Strength, Mac.
asw
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Real sorry to hear that Mac.
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My sympathies on your families loss.
Nothing will replace those you love, but time will lessen the pain.
Someday you all will be happy again, and will join your family members in bliss.
dago
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Mac ... I can't even fathom the pain that you and Kim must be going thru. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
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Holy...... poor litle girl. Ive come close to the same situation, I was almost nailed by a car to much in a hurry to stop and let me by.
That son of a ***** better rot in hell...... I cant even believe this......
Mac.... This is sad, im shocked that some kid can just go up and hit a kid, a girl. And drive off.... I am sure glad your dad was watching over becuase if he didnt.... I dont even want to think about it
This made me sad in my own way and I wish There was someway to reverse that i have a little siter that age.... wow, this is horrible. I hope the Angles of god are watching over you.
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Just got home today and saw this...
My prayers goto you and your family Mac. May God Bless Tessa's soul.
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I know I should not let HATE consume me... talked to Kim tonight, she was with her oldest Daughter Amanda, picking out clothes to wear for the Funeral. It's kind of erie thinking you have to find something nice to wear at a funeral.
It's like being on a stage in a bad dream and you are just going through the motions... you just want everyone to leave you alone but you know they mean well... the dream seems to never end and yet you dred the funeral... the final goodbye is not easy.
God give her strength.
mac
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Gonna talk with my HR rep tomorrow... even though she's not immediate Family I still believe this falls under Breavement.
Again, Thanks for the prayers.
Please keep Tessa in mind this Wedsnesday.
Kim is eating a lil now and some sleep. The Prayers are helping.
Thnx,
mac
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Will keep her in my thoughts this Wed.
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shultz. do not confuse negligence with an "accident". Accident is a nice word to cloud the issue and is not accurate either.
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Never regret greif at the loss of a loved one, especially one so cherished. But let it be tempered by the knowledge that she is beyond pain, in a better place than this world could ever hope to be. For what its worth, you and your family will be remembered in my prayers. I cant imagine the pain and anguish I would suffer if my son were to die like that. Or how I would feel toward the one(s) who had done it. Just remember that as you took responsibility for all of them before, you still have responsibility to those who remain and have to stay strong for their sakes. They need you more than ever.
Good luck, and God bless.
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"For the Lord will not cast off forever. Though He causes grief, Yet He will show compassion According to the multitude of His mercies. For He does not afflict willingly, Nor grieve the children of men." (Lam. 3:31-33)
"I will read the text to you again; I cannot preach from it as I should like to do, but the text itself is full of comfort to the Lord’s own chosen ones who are in sore straits: “For the Lord shall judge his people, and repent himself for his servants, when he seeth that their power is gone, and there is none shut up, or left.” Tried child of God, I wish I could grasp thy hand in tenderest sympathy, and whisper in thine ear, “In thy lowest moments, do not despair. ‘Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies? Nay, verily, for the; Lord will not cast off for ever: but though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies’ ‘Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.’ The Lord himself saith to thee, ‘I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee;’ ‘when thou passes through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the, flame kindle upon thee.’ ‘He shall deliver thee in six troubles: yea, in seven there shall no evil touch thee.’ Therefore, if thou walkest in darkness, and seest no light, trust in the Lord, and stay thyself upon thy God, for he will have compassion upon thee; he will take away his wrath, and smile again upon thy soul, and turn thy lamentation into singing, and thy mourning into dancing’.” - C.H. Spurgeon
MAC, I'll try to keep monitoring the BB and my email while I am at GA this week. Just sent you an email.
Our prayers, and those of our congregation are with you and Kim, especially this Wednesday.
Your Servant in Christ,
Seagoon
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Thank you Seagoon from myself and Kim. This Wednesday will be very difficult for Kim.
mac
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Mac,
My prayers are with you and your family and I realize that there is nothing that anyone of us can say that will take the pain away. The only thing you have is the memories and never ever let them slip away from you.
All my Best old Buddy!
Jay
awDOC1
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AWMac your sister-in-law, your family and you have my deepest condolences.
Try to be strong during those terrible times. Your niece wouldn't like to see her uncle wrecked by hatred and despair. May her have rejoined her daddy.
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Man I hate to see this kind of thing.Im not the praying type but In some cases I bend my rules,This is one of those cases.Hang in there and good luck working through it.Got to be tough on everyone involved :(
Doc
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Good gods.
Mac, you and yours have my deepest sympathies and condolences.
There are no adequate words.
A child....
My eyes are watering. Little children are to be protected and cherished. I cannot imagine what your sister-in-law is going through or your family.
My thoughts are with your family.
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Your eyes are watering?That clinches it.Pollen count is high everywhere else too it seems.
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Mac I have never met you, I dont know if Ive known you long enough to say I know you. In any case its all irelevent.
If I was there you'd get a big hug and a friend who would help you through. Not a prayer person but I do believe in making others feel like they are not alone and no matter what they lose they will still have something there that will bring strength. Not knowing you well enough this may be the wrong advice, dont play the blame game, it will only hurt more. Focus on memories that will be with you and your family. Hate is only a feeling. A memory is a story. remember this when that day of goodbyes comes.
sincerly FuBaR.
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I just want to thank you all that sent prayers.
Yesterday was really hard on Kim. Please add Kim's oldeest Daughter, Amanda to the prayer list. She was one of the first on the scene as her Sister was dieing. She was very strong as a 16 year old can be through out all of this. Now it is coming down hard on her. She's having some serious probs in seeing her Sister dead at the scene and now the Funeral. This was a senseless death by all means.
The kid who killed Tessa made bail. I believe he'll run. His girlfriend now has 3 misdereanors on her with a Court date soon.
Do a Google seach and type in "Tessa Wrede" and at the next screen hit the "news" above the search bar for updates.
Again, I thank you all for the heartfelt responses...It helped to get through this fog of pain.
mac
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FuBaR Thanks Bro... HUGS.
mac
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Mac I am so sorry, so very sorry.
Balwing just reading this thread.
They will be in my prayers. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose one of mine. I will be praying for your sister in-law and the family.
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It never makes sense...and possibly never will. I doubt we'll ever know why this had to happen...why the punk had to be in a hurry...why he couldn't stop when she was struck. Fear gives men wings...
I'm so sorry to hear this, Mac. I wish there was more that I could do. I don't have a good way with words and I'm not very spiritual, but your sister-in-law will be in my prayers. Such a young life, taken away in a moment of frustration and anger. I hope that kid rots in prison for a long time.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, Mac. I'm sorry this had to happen. With time, the pain will fade. But the memory will always linger. Cherish the good tiems you had with her, remember her smile and her laugh when she was with you. Don't concentrate on the anger or the hate, for it will only smolder within and make thigns worse.
I wish there was more I could say. :( Keep strong...we're all with you.
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I can't belive this kid made bail. Don't they know he's a flight risk? Hell he ran from the accident!!!
Lost without words, He should not be free after all of this.
This is unfair!!!
mac
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I'm so sorry Mac, I'm just.... damn. They are in our prayers for sure, stay strong bro.
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No words.
Just thoughts for you and all.
A bad bad deal.
:(
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Mac, I remember all of you in the dailys.
I know the bail seems like an added twist of the knife but it really isn't.
I suggest, for you and the family, acceptance. Believe this is the way it is supposed to be. If it was supposed to be different, it would be.
There are numerous Biblical qoutations that back this up and I'm not going to post a bunch of them. You know them already.
Try to let go of the anger and let "thy will be done". It's hard but it's the shortest road out for all of you.
As I said, I'm with you and thinking of all of you.
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Mac,
What Toad said.
Don't try to analyze or even control the situation as you can't. Trying will just lead to frustration for you and your family. All I can say is rely on your faith at this time. Do not let this consume you. You have other responsibilities right now that need your attention. Concentrate on what you have, not what is lost. You can't change it. let others handle the things you can't and deal with those you can.
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Seagoon, Toad, Mav, All,
I know what you are saying and what you have said is true. I used to say the same to others that have lost loved ones. Now it's my blood, my heart and soul that has been wounded. Takes on a different light. Basically I need to practice what I preach. A hard lump to swallow, yet the lump remains.
I just got off the phone with Kim. It's Fathers Day and dam it's a hard one. Tomorrow is the Court date for the 19 year olds Girlfriend. The Girlfriend that said she was driving the car until she heard that Tessa had died. She recanted her story but has now 3 misdemeanors because of it. Kim is just so worried that "HE" will be there. This I know she can't handle. I told Kim to come here to Oklahoma and just relax.
Please all just keep Kim in your prayers. She's not one to do something stupid like taking her life but she needs strength more than what she can muster in these hours.
Humbly Yours,
mac
Happy Fathers Day all.
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06/21/2005
A grand jury indicted Steven Jones today in the death of Tessa Wrede. He is charged with one count of failure to stop after an accident. He will be arraigned July 1.
[/B]
Charged with failure to stop after an accident? I thought they had a legal word for what he did.... Vehicular Manslaughter?
Any Lawyer types out there let me know if I'm wrong.
mac
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WTF?? Thats all they charged him with?jebus.
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Originally posted by AWMac
06/21/2005
Charged with failure to stop after an accident? I thought they had a legal word for what he did.... Vehicular Manslaughter?
Any Lawyer types out there let me know if I'm wrong.
mac
Hi Mac,
This won't be of much comfort, but in most municipalities the DA determines what offenses the offender will be tried for, and that too is often based on what they believe they can get a conviction under or the seriousness of the crime. Often they will go for a lesser included offense simply because they know they can get a conviction or because it is a first offense and they don't want to throw the book at the accused.
I'm no lawyer, but in the case of a fatal accident involving a pedestrian, it has been my experience that IVM - involuntary vehicular manslaughter is usually reserved only for those who were driving under the influence and VVM, voluntary vehicular manslaughter is usually reserved for those who kill someone while committing another crime such as fleeing from the police. In this case, he was charged with "failing to stop after an accident" but had he stopped the charges would probably have been simply a variety of failure to stop or maintain control of a vehicle which is a points offense.
Ultimately, the only real justice one can look for is not on this side of eternity, but rest assured that anyone with a conscience that has not been totally seared is going to be haunted by the fact that their sinful stupidity resulted in the death of a little girl and that they were too cowardly to even stop after the accident. There will also be considerable public approbrium heaped on them. Michael Jackson and OJ may have "gotten off" in court, but the majority of the public know what the real score is and have nothing but contempt for them now.
BTW, most DAs are more than willing to speak with the family of the victim and you should certainly contact the DA prior to him/her giving sentencing recommendations to the judge. Most states have victims rights laws which allows you to make an "impact statement" indicating how the crime has affected you and your family.
Glossary of Legal Terms (http://www.id.uscourts.gov/glossary.htm)
Manslaughter - The unlawful killing of another without intent to kill; either voluntary (upon a sudden impulse); or involuntary (during the commission of an unlawful act not ordinarily expected to result in great bodily harm). (See also murder.)
- SEAGOON
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At the Arainment the Judge should decide if what he is being charged with is just...
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Just an update of events...
Kim and her Daughter Amanda are flying into Tulsa this Evening..Toledo is not the place for them to be right now and I agree. They are staying for as long as they need to but they will fly back Thursday for the Court date on Friday. When the trial is.
Seagoon, Andy I thank you with all my heart my Brother. It is a hard time right now as has been for the last 3 weeks and you helped me alot. Not to Hate, Not to Question GOD and to comfort those on both sides of the fence...A hard lump to swallow but I'm doing it. If there ever was a Brother here it has been you. For that I am greatfully thankful. This is not deminishing anything from all in AH BBS,,, Those with heart know what I mean. Love to you all.
These next few days will be full of tears and comfort... Grief is a lite word for what is to follow tonight. But it is well needed. To comfort my Sister-in-Law at her loss and to help Amanda through all of this.
Thank you all from my Heart,
mac
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And here you have the really really good thing with the o'club.. when it works.
Good to see that Seagoon has made such an impact on you Mac.
and best wishes for the following weeks.
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Nielsin I think Seagoons has alotta folks thinking other than me. My Daughter Renae and her friend Grace will take Amanda under their wings... Go to the Lake and try to chill... GOD does move in mysterious ways,,, Going to the water under Grace's wings.
Thanks Nilsen... I miss yer hat pic the most.
mac
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AWMac
God Bless you and you're family.
You are a good man.
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Bodhi I try to be a good man. There are many challenges before and behind me...
Thank you Bodhi...it takes alot, but in the end it will mean everything. Just gotta get over the pain.
mac.
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Dear Mac,
My friend, it has been my very great privilege to get to know you, and I am the better for it. How I wish it had been under different circumstances though!
I was just reading today the pastoral letters of Samuel Rutherford to Lady Jane Kenmure, a member of his congregation in Anwoth, Scotland. Rutherford wrote many letters of comfort to her as she went through the loss of two daughters, her husband, and then shortly thereafter her son. Coming as they did in the span of a few short years, these losses proved a staggering blow to her, were it not for her faith, the consoling words of her dear Pastor, and ultimately the love of her savior, she would have died of grief herself. But by these means, God bore his child through these storms, just as I believe he is carrying you and Kim even now. Let me briefly share with you part of one of the poems contained in Rutherford's letters to Lady Kenmure, this on the death of her young son:
O Child of God this grief
That bows our spirit low
Is yours but half, for Christ Himself
Still Shares His people's woe.
His wisdom planned it out
Then bore it on His heart
Till gently on your untried back
Love laid the lesser part.
So take it all with joy,
Together bear the cross,
For while you suffer He distils
A heaven from your loss.
...
Each day spend out in faith,
Nor prove his labour vain;
Cast still on Christ the pressing weight
Who only can sustain.
Well Mac, Gold and silver have I none, but what I do have, I will freely give. Please keep us updated.
- SEAGOON
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Andy, we need to talk, My heart has just been ripped out an I need a shoulder.
mac
I'll pay for the call Bud.
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Mac, hang in bud. The words will come.
Thinking of you all, remembering you every day.
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Man it's tuff... tuff enuff to bring me to my knees sobbing...
Hangin on.
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You wanna talk, E-mail your phone number to
whatmustanddidstraigafly AT hotmail DOT com
I'm a good listener. I feel for ya bud.
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No problem Mac,
Give me a call at home at Nine One Zer0 - Four Eight Tw0 - Eight Two Tw0 Six.
You can call tonight if you need to, I'll be at church tomorrow morning, I have a break from 2PM till 4PM and then I have evening worship from 6 to around 7:30PM. I'm happy to talk anytime after 7:30 PM and I'm off all day Monday.
Alternatively, mail me your number and I'll call as soon as I can.
- Andy
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For what it's worth, Mac, I've not forgotten all this and I'll be praying too -especially now that your hitting a 3rd degree heartbreak...
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bad story..so sorry awmac..my prayers go out to ya
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Seagoon,
I thank you with my heart... was a nice call. Made a diff in my thinking.
Thank you Brother,
Fred & Family.
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Mac, tried to call, no answer.
Check your E-mail for my number.
Do OK?
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Today is Tessa's 10th Birthday...
So empty. No cake, candles. No Balloons..No giggles or laughter.
Just a headstone.
Trying to get thru the day.
mac
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Toad
I was on the phone with Seagoon... check email Bud. I sent a reply.
Toad thanks Bro,
mac
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Hang in there Mac, and Kim too.
Don't try to rationalize anything, and just try to go on with your lives. It's hard and difficult.. but try to think about all the good memories, and how good it felt when they were around.
That might make the emptiness even harder to accept, but everytime that happens, focus on the good things only.
While it was short, still it was good. And sometimes we've got nothing else but that to hold on to.
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Kweassa Thanks Bud, I'm doing the best I can... it's gonna be a tuff day for alotta folks here...Tessa touched many hearts.
mac
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Mac,
Send me a e-mail through the bbs. I'm available to talk as well buddy. I can call you if you'd like.
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Mav and all,
It's a tuff day all. It shouldn't be like this.
Like trying to swallow a Softball... the biggest lump in the throat.
Kim has it the worse.
Hard day. Just tears,
mac
fwrede@cox.net.
Chit I'm a crying mess... trying to get my watermelon together and call Kim... Bad Day today...
God I need strenght...
Hurts deep...Being Tessa's Birthday and she's in the ground.
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My heart goes to you as I get in touch with my own losses.
My wife and I read your post and will keep you and your sister in prayers from our distant Quebec.
Dieu te bénisse
1Cor. 13:13
Kanawa
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My best to you and yours Mac. My family and I will pray for you.
May God bring you solace in this tragic and heartfelt time in your life.
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If it was ever possible, if I could.
I'd give my life up to let Tessa live hers.
Yesterday was beyond hard to deal with. Today just as hard.
Tessa enjoyed the fact that fireworks was after her Birthday...She made it seem it was just for her...we never told her different.
Tonight I'll lit a White Candle for Tessa...
Kim and Amanda are taking it really hard... guess the first year is the hardest.
Trying again to be the strongest... Kim has a CD they did for Tessa's Funeral...Pics of Tessa from Birth to just days before... 2 songs really tore me up..."Calling on All Angels and Would you know my Name if I saw you in Heaven".
Heart Broke is not even close.
Time will Heal,
mac
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Originally posted by AWMac
"Would you know my Name if I saw you in Heaven".
I cannot listen to that song at the best of times...always brings tears to my eyes.
Still thinking about all of you man. I hope there is some relief from the pain you are all feeling soon.
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Takes alotta tears to get though this...I've cried a River in just the last weeks. Which is less than Kim has cried.
It's like still walking in a fog... a Bad dream that you just wanna wake up from and everything is okay...
If you have ever collapsed sobbing hard from the heart... then you are near where I am now.
mac
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Curval,
There's 2 songs I can't play the whole way thru on a Guitar... One is Claptons "Would you know me in Heaven" The other is "Amazing Grace".
Played for a lil over 16 years.
mac
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Mac,
My heartfelt condolences, sir. I wish I had the vocabulary to put in the words most appropriate for this great loss. Your pain is quite clear and in time it will get better (as hard as that is to believe).
Your pain so great, I was at a loss to post til now. I'm sorry.
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Article published Saturday, August 6, 2005. (http://toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050806/NEWS02/50806002)
Toledo man convicted of fleeing fatal accident
A South Toledo man who struck and killed a 9-year-old girl riding her bicycle on June 8 was convicted yesterday in Lucas County Common Pleas Court.
Steven Jones, 19, of 3339 Schneider Rd., pleaded no contest to failing to stop after an accident. He is facing the possibility of a five-year prison term when Judge James Jensen sentences him Sept. 9.
Tessa Wrede, of 2248 Byrneway Drive, was riding her bike in the 2300 block of South Byrne Road near Greengate Drive when she was hit by Jones’ vehicle. Jones, who was driving with a suspended license, fled the scene and was arrested later that day.
Jones’ girlfriend, Jennifer Wilbourne of Maumee, told police she was driving the car when the accident occurred. She was charged with one count of allowing an unlicensed driver to drive her car, wrongful entrustment, and obstructing official business.
Just a possibility of 5 years...
mac
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Hi Mac,
This won't offer much comfort, but having worked with convicts and ex-convicts, here are a few things to keep in mind.
Although the sentence seems trivial compared to the consequences of his actions, he now has, and probably always will have a felony conviction with jail time on his record. While he will be out of jail in less than five years (no one these days serves the max, unless they really mess up or have a history of running or escaping), that conviction will follow him the rest of his life especially when it comes to applying for jobs and so on. He has in fact, automatically locked himself out of several positions including all the bonded trades. Also keep in mind that time in state jails is almost never "easy time" especially for a guy with no street smarts and no prior convictions. The majority of "square johns" in jail I've met with, spend their first few months in a state of constant fear, some of them with good reason. For instance in our local county lock-up, you better be either tough enough to protect yourself (and that needs to be plenty tough) or hooked up or you are essentially prey to the bigger fish. Having your food stolen on a regular basis is just the beginning of the torment. It's not unheard of for a man to go into prison for the first time to serve a two or three year term and come out with a death sentence.
Either way, Martha Stewart's experience is definitely not the norm.
What I hope will offer more comfort is that fact that because there is a just God, although justice is never entirely served on this side of the veil there is perfect justice on the other side and there is a judgment that no man will ever escape from.
- SEAGOON
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Originally posted by AWMac
Article published Saturday, August 6, 2005. (http://toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050806/NEWS02/50806002)
Toledo man convicted of fleeing fatal accident
A South Toledo man who struck and killed a 9-year-old girl riding her bicycle on June 8 was convicted yesterday in Lucas County Common Pleas Court.
Steven Jones, 19, of 3339 Schneider Rd., pleaded no contest to failing to stop after an accident. He is facing the possibility of a five-year prison term when Judge James Jensen sentences him Sept. 9.
Tessa Wrede, of 2248 Byrneway Drive, was riding her bike in the 2300 block of South Byrne Road near Greengate Drive when she was hit by Jones’ vehicle. Jones, who was driving with a suspended license, fled the scene and was arrested later that day.
Jones’ girlfriend, Jennifer Wilbourne of Maumee, told police she was driving the car when the accident occurred. She was charged with one count of allowing an unlicensed driver to drive her car, wrongful entrustment, and obstructing official business.
Just a possibility of 5 years...
mac
Mac
Sorry to hear all this again man.... 5 years is not enough. This guy should be treated just like any other murderer.
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that sentence is absoultly pathetic, and a slap in the face of justice.:mad: :eek:
mac, sir, my prayers are still with you and your entire family.
just told co-worker the whole story, and i just cant get over how royally ****** up that is he only got 5 years. my co-worker sends his sympathies also.
i hope that schmuck gets his bellybutton pounded raw in prison.
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Thanx Seagoon.
I just have the fear that his Lawyer will swing some deal and this kid will walk with just probation. But then again Kim will be there and I believe she will have her say during sentencing. I would like to be there but then again I don't think that I could maintain if I got within leaping distance of this kid.
It's a bad deal on both sides of the fence. If he or Tessa had been just 2 minutes slower... but there a purpose behind all of this and I may never know what that is until it's my time.
I have no idea why sentencing has been pushed out to September 9th.
Again Andy, thanks for the support for Kim and I throughout all of this.
mac
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Mac,
I don’t know how on earth I could’ve not known this thread was circulating. I don’t read the BB every single day but, my gosh, …..anyway I just read it first time today; the entire thread. Only reason I’m able to remain composed as I read it is because I’m at work. After reading what all the others have written, and especially Seagoon, there’s not much I can add, but please know my heart goes out to you and your wife and sister-in-law. Thank you for allowing your “extended family” here on the AHBB to, perhaps in some small way, dissipate your anger and grief. I, too, believe in the power of prayer and faith. Prayers going out even as I type this…no, even as I was reading the thread. God tells us the Holy Spirit takes our inner-most thoughts and groanings and intercedes on our behalf. This surely is one of those times when you aren’t able to articulate your sadness, but know that God knows what you want and need, even though you may not be clear on the subject.
God Bless You,
Tony
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Slimm,
Thanks Tony. It's been one hell of a Summer. Didn't really want to open the pool this year but the wife went and did most of the work. There are times when it's just so difficult to put feelings into words...this is one of them times.
Again Tony thanks for the prayers. I'll let Kim know that more are coming.
God Bless,
Fred
mac
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Seagoon my Brother.
I have someone that truly needs words from you. She said it was okay to give you her new number. Kim and Amanda had to move from the place of the accident and I can understand why.
I'm worried a bit, well much, she's having those rollercoaster emotions and it's tearing her up inside. I've tried my best and ended up sobbing with her. She needs some of your help, some spiritual words and comforting... I did my best, but my all wasn't enough and I fear the worse.
I'm looking for your number now, I know you sent it before...
searching as fast as I can,
mac
Found it, spoke with yer wife...Seagoon you are a Blessd man.
She has Kims number. I told Kim that you may call her...I hope I'm not putting you in a spot. You are truly needed.
Also check your emails.
God Bless,
Fred
mac
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Fred,
I spoke with Kim this evening, will call you tomorrow.
Grace and Peace to you both, sleep well,
Andy
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Jeff showed me your note and my prayers that God will get your family through such trying times. In my Sunday school class, a lady weaved what she referred to as "prayer ribbons" while sitting by her dying husband in an intensive care unit in a local hospital - she shared the ribbons with the class. Jeff's sister, Cynthia, wrote a poem to go with the ribbons - I thought you would like to see the poem called "Ribbons of Love" which is as follows:
Each ribbon you see is prayed over,
Each weaved with loving care.
Each strand is to show you are precious,
and remind you someone cares.
So when you receive this ribbon,
it's a tool to help you pray.
Take it out and hold it tightly,
we recommend twice each day.
Even though I may not know you,
even though you may not know me.
That's okay because He knows us both,
and He loves us both, you see.
So hold tight to this gentle reminder,
and remember He is holding you.
And know that someone prays continuously
for whatever you are going through.
I sew the ribbons on a card with this poem printed on it and there is a print of an oil painting I did that is on the top of each card of a boy praying beside his bed. These cards have been sent all over the world because all of us need prayer and it is simply a reminder of that and there is of course, the Power of Prayer. God bless you and your family and may His grace surround you always.
Alice (Mother of Xargos)
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Mac, if you wish I can mail you a couple of cards, just PM me with your address. I was very upset by your post but I am not the religious type, that's why I showed it to my mom.
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Originally posted by Xargos
Mac, if you wish I can mail you a couple of cards, just PM me with your address. I was very upset by your post but I am not the religious type, that's why I showed it to my mom.
That is great Xargos... Kim just read this entire thread just now... we cried. The prayers that went out to Kim, Amanda and Tessa is nothing short of Heart felt. Thank you all. From my heart, Thank you!
Seagoon, Brother. Words from the Heart and Soul... I Thank you more than you will ever know.
fwrede@cox.net
God Bless you All,
mac
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http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/story?section=local&id=3471522
Sentencing in Deadly Hit and RunSeptember 23, 2005 - A judge has sentenced the man who ran over a nine-year-old girl with his car, and left her for dead. After the sentencing, teary eyed family members huddled together.
Steven Jones received a one year sentence for his hit and run accident with Tessa Wrede in June. In the eyes of her family, the sentence wasn't enough.
It wasn't enough to Tessa's aunt who best remembers her 9-year old niece's smile. Family members asked for a five year sentence. They say their anger stems from Jones fleeing the scene.
Jones was driving on a suspended license. Initially his girlfriend admitted to the crime before discovering how serious it was. Jones left the court room in hand cuffs. He also received a six month sentence for violating probation. All totaled, 18 months behind bars.
I just got off the phone with Kim.... Today this kid that killed my Niece was sentenced...
If any of you have lost a loved one through a tragdy such as this you would feel totally slapped in the face!
The young man that killed my Niece and fled got sentenced today... My Niece was 9 years old, Honor Student and played the Violin in school and Church. He was sentenced to "1 year" in Prison able to make Parole in 3 Months...
Tell me WHERE is the Justice in this? Tell me WHY this young man with 2 prior felonies kills a child and flees and gets 1 FRIKKEN YEAR!
I feel like I've been stomped on the Heart. Kim is at a loss and is just hanging in there. This is BS!!!!
This man is in Toledo County Jail right now, waiting to be processed into either Orion or Mansville Fed Prison System.
1 year... 1 year...she lived 9 years and he expierienced 19. She'll NEVER go to a Prom or a Homecoming. She'll NEVER expirience that first kiss and the first date. NEVER to have the chance to be a Cheerleadr or Basketball player. NEVER to study for SAT's and apply for a College....NEVER to Marry and have children of her own.. Her life is "NEVER"...GONE!
Kim is to settle with "Never" while this Punkass will someday have the chance to have a Family, have Children, have a life...
Kim and Tessa's Sister Amanda needs a few Prayers to get them thru this. God they are in so much pain.
Man this watermelon is not right..I'm so hurt, so disgusted, so angry..so lost.
Where is the Justice?
(http://abclocal.go.com/images/0609tessawrede.jpg)
Tessa Hon, Uncle Freddy will never forget you Dear.
Mac
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That truly sux, Max.
I'm sorry to hear that.
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Don't worry, this guy will get what 's coming to him.
If not sooner, then later.
People like this will always F-up.:cry
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Dam Mac that sucks
a certain city court hammered me hard cause I didnt pay for a court appearence on a speeding ticket I didnt know I had, and that ordeal lasted almost 6 years of a suspended dl.
Yet they only give scum like that a year in jail out in 3 months?
Something is ****ed with the so called justice, or should I say city revenue service
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It's like being slamed in the guts and all the breath knocked out of you...I just want to call up the Judge an ask him if he has children, nieces and such.... Let me run one fuggin over would he just give me a year?
Where is the Justice for the Victims? To hell with this chit. Let this assswipe make it out in 3 Months. Anger has now turned to rage.
It's just not right!
Mac
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Absolutely stinks.
You and yours are in my prayers.
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Kim and Amanda are just devestated...I hope the Cons punk this boy out. I hope they rip him a new one and check his gag reflex over and over again. Let him get released... I want to personally up front face to face met this loser. Then we'll talk Justice.
How can there be justice in the legal system when watermelon like this happens? Two prior felonies, suspended lic, fled the scene...
NOT RIGHT!
F.uc.k this...I'm so pissed.
Mine!
Mac
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Thats horrible Mac! :mad:
Have you been able read the sentence and gotten any explenation as to why it was so low?
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Nils, its unfortunately a facet of american "justice" -- the scales are often tilted in favor of "fairness" to the perpetrator. That general rule tilts the OTHER way in certain high profile, media frenzy type cases when the politics of public opinion get involved, like say when that truly loony woman in Texas was treated like a mass murderer for drowning her own kids.
For cases that dont get the media spotlight, this is not surprising. Infuriating, unjust, and horrible -- but not surprising.
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You are not alone when it comes to wierd penalties for crimes Simaril. A robber can get alot longer prison time than a rapist or a killer. It depends on alot of things.
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Originally posted by midnight Target
Children shouldn't die.
damn
Well said .
My prayers go out to you and your family.
As a people we MUST start being more carefull who we give a licence to.
It is way too easy to get a drivers licence in this country.
I think If we were to tighten up the standards like we did on commercial licenses a few years back it would be a good start.
Shakes head.:(
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Harley+Mossberg=Justice
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Mac I would bet that when the other con's find out what this terd did he will no longer be anul retentive.
Heck If we are lucky maybe someone will shank his sorry arse and save us all the trouble of having to feed this arsewart.
My heart goes out to ya man I know if this ever happend to my family i would simply waite till the jerk got out then some how he would have an accident = to the one he committed.
I wish I had some witty advice but in all nonesty there are no words for sensless crimes such as these.
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Fart when he was in County when first arrested he got his bellybutton beat. I'm trying now to get word on the Fed inside to have him punked BIG time. And yes we think alike in seeing this assswipe expieriencing a bad event upon his release if he makes it that far.
If I pay for it at the Pearly Gates then so be it.
Mac
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Mac,
No matter what you do or try to do, nothing will bring your niece back. Don't ruin YOUR life and harm the wellbeing of your ENTIRE family over this lowlife. If you do then all you do is turn him into a victim and yourself into the bad guy. That isn't justice either. You have more to be concerned about than your desidre to see more punishment heaped on this hemorhoid. Y9ou have your entire family's welfare. What's going to happen to them if you get your butt stuck in jail or prison just so you could get a crack at this guy????
I know it's easy for me to say it and it's far harder for you to deal with it, but guy you HAVE to let go. Don't punish everyone close to you just so you get to slam that guy. Is the rest of your life and the welfare of your family worth sacrificing just for that guy??
I have prayes and thoughts OTW but you have to help out as well.
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Dammit Mav.....Dammit you're right....I just want him to feel the same pain we feel, the loss, the tears,the heart....
Grrrrrrrrrrrr..........
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When lowlifes take an innocent life If they have more to worry about that the criminal justice system IE: like the victims family and friends I would bet the crime rate would drop as all the criminals would be dead.
Try and find some peace somehow I know it must be hard but mav is right you need to hold it together for your family.
God has a special place for clowns like these and a special place for little angels as well.
God Bless.
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Mac,
^^^^^
What Mav said.
If you think Kim and Amanda are devastated now, how would they feel when they won't have you around to comfort and support them? You may not know it but I'll bet you are an important part of their support system helping them get through this.
Yeah our justice system really sucks at times, esp in this case.
Nothing short of life w/out parole would be fair.
Now time for you all to use the law against that animal.
Civil suit. Make him pay for the rest of his life. Take what little he's got and garnish all future wages. Everytime that animal gets his paycheck, will be a reminder of what he did.
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Originally posted by SaburoS
Mac,
^^^^^
Now time for you all to use the law against that animal.
Civil suit. Make him pay for the rest of his life. Take what little he's got and garnish all future wages. Everytime that animal gets his paycheck, will be a reminder of what he did.
I like the way you think!
Thats very good advice there Mac
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Talkin outta pain...pain makes you say things. Some things you mean, some you don't.
I want this assshat to hurt as much as Kim has as much as all that loved Tessa has.... Kim lost a child, Amanda lost a Sister... I lost a Niece...what is equal to that with this punk? What can he lose to make it equal? Nothing...but his tired loosin frikkin asss...
He got 1 year, killed a lil girl who had the whole World ahead of her, because he didn't want to wait...and after he killed her he fled...ran... then concocted a story with his girlfriend...that she was driving...until his girlfriend heard Tessa died.
Last count to this tragedy, Tessa, Kim, Amanda, all that loved Tessa, This Punk and his Girlfriend, Punks Mother...add a few Lawyers and a Judge...
Tired of BS in the system... it's frikken rinse and repeat when it comes to crap like this... I once belived in the Justice system, boy was I frikken blinded...
Tell me..Tell me what you would do if Tessa was your Daughter, Sister, Niece....? Tell me what you would do, how would you feel?
Sorry, I'm just so damned pissed and hurt. This didn't need to happen. 2 minutes, fuggin 2 minutes.....just 2.....
Feelin Heart stomped...
mac
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Dude I wish I could advice you but I cant.
Life must go on for you and your family I can only assume your neice would want you to be happy and remember her as she was A beautifull child who is now at peace.
Think about it she will never feel pain or hunger again as she is in heaven.
As far as the watermelon speck that ran over her he will recieve his just due one day.
But like Maverick said a nice fat civil law suite would go along way to make the jerk PAY for his crime.
And I as you im sure can only hope he is haunted the rest of his pathetic life.
Peace be with ya M8.
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Mac it kills me every tme I read this thread....
If it happened to my boy, that mf'er would die a slow horiible death at my hands, since I would have nothing left to live for,
jailwould mean nothing since I would be a hollow shell.
other than that haunt the mf'er, buy space on billboards in the town he live's in with his picture plastered on it. They do it in Jerzey. and if ya can somehow let the inmates at the jail he is at know what he did. they will take care of him to the point he wished he was gone.
my prayers and support is with ya bro, the pain your family is going through has got to be next to impossible to deal with.
I know I would lose my msquealing mind if it happened to me or my family.
sorry just venting, cause its soooo wrong.
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It hurts to no end. I walk into my backyard and I can almost see her in the pool. "How am I doing Uncle Freddy?" "Look I'm swimming Uncle Freddy!!" "Jumpin like a frog!!!" Man her voice echos in my mind. I get into the pool and I can still feel her on my back. Going to the deep end and asking her if she's afraid I'll turn back and her say go, go I'm not afraid... I'd hang near the edge just in case. She was brave, smart and comical.
I remember once I had to have a talk with her, Kim was at wits end because Amanda and Tessa were always argueing over lil chit.. This was just a talking, not a scolding...we're driving in my car and I asked her why the argueing all the time. She said because Amanda thinks she knows everything and I can make her mad and when Amanda gets made her face goes like this " "... I laffed my assss off. I finally convinced her to ease up on Amanda...That was our promise... still it was great to see her make that face.
I miss her so deeply.
mac
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Originally posted by AWMac
It hurts to no end. I walk into my backyard and I can almost see her in the pool. "How am I doing Uncle Freddy?" "Look I'm swimming Uncle Freddy!!" "Jumpin like a frog!!!" Man her voice echos in my mind. I get into the pool and I can still feel her on my back. Going to the deep end and asking her if she's afraid I'll turn back and her say go, go I'm not afraid... I'd hang near the edge just in case. She was brave, smart and comical.
I remember once I had to have a talk with her, Kim was at wits end because Amanda and Tessa were always argueing over lil chit.. This was just a talking, not a scolding...we're driving in my car and I asked her why the argueing all the time. She said because Amanda thinks she knows everything and I can make her mad and when Amanda gets made her face goes like this " "... I laffed my assss off. I finally convinced her to ease up on Amanda...That was our promise... still it was great to see her make that face.
I miss her so deeply.
mac
that is so sad. i am so sorry for you and your family.
i recently became an uncle and i cant imagine how much that hurts. :(
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Parole has been denied once. Now he is trying to petition the Judge to allwow him to spend the last 6 Months in a Halfway house. He gets out this September. A small incarceration for a death of a lil girl.
Seems like a good time for me to take a vacation.
Just got off the phone with Kim, today was Eric's Birthday, he would have been 45 today...Eric was Tessas' Father who died 2 years before Tessa. Kim lost her Father and Mother within 14 Months of Tessas death.
So Kim is hurting badly. I took tomorrow off. Drank a shot today for my Brother. God I miss him. Was so stupid. But he's still my Brother.
Kim and I had a good cry, deep cry...it helped a bit. But Wounds run deep.
Sometimes you wanna scream at GOD and say WHY!!!
Mac
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MAC.....
Prayers for you and your family.
Take care ... Stay Strong !
Bob / CHECKERS
AW / CHKRS
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A year and a few Months... and he gets to start life over again? As if nothing happened? It's not right, not right at all!
What has happened to the Judicial System?
What is in the head of these Judges? Let it be one of their children...how long would the accused serve then?
Sad, this is so Sad,
mac
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This was just an update on what is happening. I thank you for the prayers for not me but for Kim and Amanda. Today was a bad Day Kims ex Hubby, my Brother, was his Birthday today..which was always a BIG event...if it could be grilled, smoked or burned we had it. Old Rock, stories of Eric and I going to concerts, teaching his birds to cuss...er speak. Memories. And of Tess.
Im just rambling on... I miss my Brother deeply and Tess ... now I hear that the guy that killed Tess will be released in September really messes up my head.
Sorry I'm just OLD SCHOOL... and eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
As much as this punk has made Kim, Amanda's life miserable I'll do the same to his life... I'll never let him forget he killed a lil girl.
Now if you think I'm wrong, tell me if it was your Daughter or Niece would you feel the same?
mac
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I don't know what I would feel. I can only imagine. I guess that's why we have impartial people to hand out judgement and punishment rather than vendettas.
I don't know this kid, but he made a terrible mistake, but that's no reason to destroy two people.
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Mac...
I'm so very sorry for you and your family. Your sister in-law will be in my family's hearts.
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Mac,
Some things are out of your hands and it's not up to you to do anything to change it. The system has had it's "say" if you will. You going over it in your mind won't make it any different. Now what would your brother want you to do? Would he want you to simply keep going over the situation again and again, or would he want you to start to live your life again? Losing yourself won't help your brother, Tess or Kim. Someone has to start the process of moving beyond the grief and into the rest of your life.
Yeah I know easy for me to say as I'm removed from the situation. That doesn't make it any less valid.
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Mac,
FWIW, yeah, I'm sure anyone of us in your shoes would feel the same.
Let's say you do get revenge and end up behind bars. Do you think Kim and Amanda would feel better or worse?
What you feel right now, the losses of important people in your life, the terrible emptiness, will not be lessened when that animal gets his due. You'll feel a temporary relief but the pain and emptiness will come back.
Only thing that heals is time (and in some cases with councelling if the burdon is too great).
Yeah, I know....empty words.
Damn, I wish I knew what to say to help.
Good luck.
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Thanks guys.
I just feel the kid got a slap on the wrist. I just got to get beyond the grief, which is easier said than done. Yesterday was a tuff one being my Brothers Birthday and Kim called. I'm sure this July 3rd will be even harder to deal with as it would have been Tessas' Birthday.
It's dates and memories that Kim and I are dealing with that leaves us both crying together.
mac
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- Mac, your family has been through what can only be described as a nightmare. And never underestimate the pressure on you personally, I imagine you have had to be strong at times when everyone else could not be. This will leave healing in you to be done last and often without the help others recived in the early months. Give yourself time to get your mind settled, and dont be impatient with yourself.
- Whenever i have trouble be they great or small i look for inspiration to a very great frined i have known for years and his family. from the age of 9 when i first met him his mother was dying of long term kidney failiure, a few years previously the family had lost thier second born son, a twin of the first born daughter, to cot death. the same year i met him one of his mothers 4 sisters died of cancer, 2 months before the grandfather passed. when we were 13 his aunt Helen and baby cousin william we killed in a head on crash with a lorry just 3 miles from his house in Amersham. then finaly 5 years ago his mother inevitably gave up the fight she had been fighting through for 25 years despite 3 kidney transplants, 2 donated from within the family.
Though it all they have been nothing but a glowing light of friendship and joy for all that hold thier company.
- As to reprisals for the murderer in the hotrod I would beg you to let creation have its way with him. we all get what is coming to us, what we deserve, and sometimes alot more, no need to increase your personal list of guilt to achieve something that wont bring your loved ones back.
these are only my thoughts from a possition of huge difference, My thoughts and prayers with you and yours mac.
Hamish
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Why do you guys call this kid an animal and murderer? Wasn't it an accident, or did he kill AWMac's niece intentionally?
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Oh, Mac...
Mac, I'm so sorry for you and your family. I don't know you at all, but my heart breaks for you and yours.
She looks just like my little one...God forbid that children suffer.
FWIW, you have my deepest sympathies. I hope the universe will bring your troubled family a little peace, and soon.
Remember this...we know we can't really change what happens, and that having control of our lives is a silly, comforting myth. All we ever get to have is the knowledge of what we've done.
You gave a beautiful child everything she needed, when she needed it. Her days were happy...better...more fulfilling, because she had Uncle Freddy. Never forget what that means.
I agree that anger and reprisal, while perfectly natural, probably won't benefit you in the end. However, letting the little killer roll through life letting the memory fade is entirely unacceptable.
I suggest that every year, at her birthday, Christmas, Easter (or whatever holidays are appropriate for your family) you send him (and each and every one of his accomplices) a nice card, with a photograph of her inside.
Make it blank inside. Say nothing. Or perhaps write it to her, as you always would...but mail it to him. But never stop...year after year. Make certain he suffers pain for what he did, as you do.
Times like this, I wish I could actually do anything worthwhile to fix it.
With sincerest regrets...
PS...uvw...you need to be quiet. You're out of order.
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I suggest that every year, at her birthday, Christmas, Easter (or whatever holidays are appropriate for your family) you send him (and each and every one of his accomplices) a nice card, with a photograph of her inside.
BINGO!!!
Yes!!!! That's it!!! And a pic of her grave!
TY Goomba.
mac
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Mac
I am sorry man, your a good guy.
I am with the rest, dont let this pile of crap ruin you too.
The card is a great idea though.
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Originally posted by uvwpvW
Why do you guys call this kid an animal and murderer? Wasn't it an accident, or did he kill AWMac's niece intentionally?
why don't you go and read the thread before you try and troll it.
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Mac, prayers, prayers and more prayers.
hap
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I'm sorry if I've hurt sombodys feelings. Not my intention. :(
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I agree the card thing is good.... I'm for it...
What would be great is if he recieved alotta cards at once....from all over. Not just America but Europe, Canada, Asia, OZ....
That would freak his arse out.
Just a pic of Tessa... no return address.
Christmas, Easter, Mothers Day, Fathers Day, 3rd of July *Tessa's Birthday*
Yeah I'm gonna talk with Kim about it!
Thanks Goomba,
mac
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Dear Fred,
Originally posted by AWMac
I just feel the kid got a slap on the wrist. I just got to get beyond the grief, which is easier said than done. Yesterday was a tuff one being my Brothers Birthday and Kim called. I'm sure this July 3rd will be even harder to deal with as it would have been Tessas' Birthday.
It's dates and memories that Kim and I are dealing with that leaves us both crying together.
mac
I'm sincerely sorry to hear that the kid who killed Tessa got off so easily, I wish I could say that this was the first such instance of an exceedingly light sentence I'd heard of, but I've personally witnessed worse. For instance, in a case of a man shooting and killing a woman he lived with, the case was plead out to voluntary manslaughter and he received a sentence of 24 months.
As I've said before, no words that I can share with you will erase the pain of loss you are experiencing, but if I can offer you any pastoral advice I would tell you the same thing I'd tell a member of my congregation: forgive this kid. I do not say that lightly, I know how difficult that will be, but I say it not for his sake but for yours. I also say it not only because it is the advice of the word of God, but because I have seen the good that comes from it, as opposed to the ongoing pain and anger that results from a lack of it. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying "forgive him because he is worthy of forgiveness," what I am saying is to commit the matter in prayer into the hands of the Lord and let Him deal with it, that you might find peace. I have received the same counsel myself in at least one matter, and I can personally say that following it, even though it was initially difficult, freed me from something that would have otherwise never stopped gnawing at me.
So I encourage you to follow Paul's advice in his letter to the Romans: "Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord."
Let me also offer up 3 quotes from men far wiser than I on the subject, and please forgive me for the length of this post, there are no short and pithy answers that will deal with pain as large as that which you are going through, I hope you will receive them in the spirit of love and concern that they are given in:
A Scottish Pastor by the name of Robert Haldane said this regarding turning away from our natural desire for revenge:
Christians will constantly have opportunities of exercising themselves in obedience to this exhortation. There are innumerable occurrences calculated to provoke and excite them to retaliation. But they will find that to abstain from avenging their own cause will essentially promote their happiness. It is a painful thing to think of injuries, and it is most for our peace and happiness to forget them, and commit ourselves to the Lord.
Admittedly, perfect justice is not something we ever see in this world, but Matthew Henry encourages us to leave vengeance in the hands of the God who does administer justice perfectly:
God is the sovereign King, the righteous Judge, and to him it belongs to administer justice; for, being a God of infinite knowledge, by him actions are weighed in unerring balances; and, being a God of infinite purity, he hates sin and cannot endure to look upon iniquity. Some of this power he has trusted in the hands of the civil magistrates (Gen. 9:6; ch. Romans 13:4); their legal punishments therefore are to be looked upon as a branch of God's revengings. This is a good reason why we should not avenge ourselves; for, if vengeance be God's, then, First, We may not do it. We step into the throne of God if we do and take his work out of his hand. Secondly, We need not do it. For God will, if we meekly leave the matter with him; he will avenge us as far as there is reason or justice for it, and further we cannot desire it. See Psalm. 38:14, 15, I heard not, for thou wilt hear; and if God hears what need is there for me to hear?
Finally, when I am personally tempted not to forgive another or be patient in enduring injury (and believe me, that happens) I am often brought to reflect on just how patient God has been with me over the years, and how he was long-suffering towards me despite the fact that I long hated Him and His people, and that in spite of that and of my own unworthiness, He freely offered me forgiveness. Therefore I am often brought to think again on the words of the great Jonathan Edwards:
Do you think the injuries you have received from your fellow-man are more than you have offered to God?... Do you not hope that God will have mercy upon you, and that Christ will embrace you in his dying love, though you have been such an injurious enemy; and that, through his grace, he will blot out your transgressions and all your offences against him, and make you eternally his child, and an heir of his kingdom? When you think of such long-suffering on God’s part, do you not approve of it, and think well of it, and that it is not only worthy and excellent, but exceeding glorious, And do you not approve of it, that Christ should have died for you, and that God, through him, should offer you pardon and salvation? Or do you disapprove of this? And would you have liked God better, if he had not borne with you, but had long since cut you off in his wrath?
If such a course be excellent and worthy to be approved of in God, why is it not so in yourself? Why should you not imitate it? Is God too kind in forgiving injuries? Is it less heinous to offend the Lord of heaven and earth, than for a man to offend you? Is it well for you to be forgiven, and that you should pray to God for pardon, and yet that you should not extend it to your fellow-men that have injured you?
Fred, may the LORD lift up His countenance upon you and Kim And give you both peace,
Andy
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Andy
If only there were more people like you in this World it would be much more tolerable. I called you and left a voice mail.
Thank you for keeping me grounded.
Your words hit home.
Thanks
Fred
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Hey Fred,
Thanks, I'm glad that what I wrote was helpful to you. I'm sorry I missed your call, I was out with the family and working at the church for most of today only really just got in, I'm pooped (plus my head is badly sun-burned - one of the many added bennies of early hair loss.) I'll give you a call on Monday if you're going to be around, I'd call sooner but I know Monday is the soonest I'll have any extended time to talk.
It was a sad week for me as well, a friend of mine by the name of Matt Baugh, a Missionary to Haiti was killed in motorcycle accident. He was hit head on by what they call a "tap-tap" (a jury rigged taxi) and then they drove off. Matt had to call his wife on his cell-phone with two broken arms and a collapsed lung, they rushed to pick him up, but he died on the way to the hospital. He leaves behind 5 children under the age of 10 and a wife. We'll be doing a collection for his wife and children starting tomorrow.
Matt was doing wonderful work in Haiti. He'd been a pastor in a comfortable calling in Mississippi, but he always had a heart for the Haitian people. He left the pastorate in Miss. and went out to found a free seminary and free medical clinic, and was doing great work training Haitians to be pastors so they in turn could help their countrymen. As great as the spiritual need is here, few places need help as much as Haiti. He'd tried to get me to go down there a couple of times to teach, but I'll admit I am not as fearless or selfless as he was, and I always put off making a decision.
It was tough news to hear, but it brought to mind Job's words: "Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?"
Here's a picture of Matt and his family:
(http://www.opc.org/images/auto_images/feature/1146953616baughfamily0601small.jpg)
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omg, im soo sorry to hear that
Your family will be in my prayers
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(http://abclocal.go.com/images/0609tessawrede.jpg)
Tess.. Happy Birthday Honey.
Huggin you Sweetie..
Never forgotten Hon.
Love and Miss you.
Unckle Freddie
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Sux
*Tears*
mac
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so sorry Fred
What gets me through is thinking those that have passed on are on a trip or have moved far far away. Not gone forever, just for now ... always remembering that I'll see them again and in the scope of eternity, very very soon
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I just want to thank all those in this Thread that was there for Kim, Amanda, and Tessa.... This 5th of July was Tessa's Birthday.
I can say alot, and it wouldn't mean a thing...unless you've ever cried deep from the Heart.
Tess I miss you Hon,
Uncle Freddie
Happy Birthday Hon, I thought of you.
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Originally posted by Eagler
so sorry Fred
What gets me through is thinking those that have passed on are on a trip or have moved far far away. Not gone forever, just for now ... always remembering that I'll see them again and in the scope of eternity, very very soon
TY Eagler
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Dear god... i cant begin to tell you how sorry i am...
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They say time heals all wounds... it's been a Year now... guess it'll take a few more to heal a bit.
mac
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I'm very sorry for your loss Mac (Fred)
I just stumbled on to this post today. I cannot comprehend the pain & anguish you & your sister in law must feel. I would not wish this on anyone.
My thoughts & prayers go out to you & yours.
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Originally posted by AWMac
They say time heals all wounds... it's been a Year now... guess it'll take a few more to heal a bit.
mac
Sorry I missed this earlier Mac. I have no words other than Im truly sorry for losses and will pray for you and your sister in law.
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TY MajWoody and Slash27...
mac