Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Pooh21 on June 15, 2005, 06:55:59 PM
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Well crap it is here in hamburg 2am, I cant sleep I am leaving the city. I have I flight tomarrow at 9am, and seriously I am bawling like a damn girl. Maybe my marriage is ended? It is mostly my fault cause I drink too dmn much and then say things when we argue. My stuff is packed, She says maybe we can try again in 6 months but until then I move to america to live with my parents. Damn you never know what a good thing you have until it is like gone. I have given up drinking but until then I miss her. 2nd I cant stand flying in a civil airliner. If I flew myself then all would be ok(but of course I cant). I am damn scared I am like gonna die in a crash in like 6+ hours. Who knows if I make it back then if lucky have to come back here in 6th months. But until then appreciate your woman, give her flowers more, a little hug, maybe you dont need to fly that last sortie but spend some time listening what she wants to say. Oh I wish I did.And now I tell you tards that I am bawling like a baby and youll never let me live that down. So you praying type would be cool if you sent out good vibes for my wife, our future chances, and all the people on flights 74 and 784.(cause its selfish for me to ask for you to pray my sorry arse gets there in one piece).
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Good luck. I hate to see things go like that for anyone.
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Two questions:
Why do you HAVE to go? Can you stay, let things settle a bit and then try to reconcile?
If you have to go, why all the way to the US? Long distance romance is tough enough when things are going well. Can you just move to a nearby town? Heck, Hamburg is big enough that you could move cross town and probably not see her if that is what is necessary.
Good luck. Hey, don't worry about the flying; it's extremely low risk.
BTW, you're right. Mine needs some serious huggin', thankin' and respectin'. She's been through a lot this year and I've been remiss in that department. Thanks for the reminder!
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Try not to watch any airline crash investigation programmes up to a year before boarding a commercial flight - I did and the one about the little cargo door popping open on a 747 29,000 over the Pacific which caused a hole to blow out in the side of the jet (much to the surprise and consternation of those not wearing seatbelts) keeps popping into my bed as I lift off.
One minute you're grumbling about not getting the chicken dinner and your headset isn't working properly and then next you're in a 5 minute freefall - oh thank you very much Channel 4!!
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Oh and try not to post on the BBS when you're A. Tired and Emotional or B. Drunk - you'll only hate yourself in the morning.
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Sorry to hear that Pooh, I know how it feels.
Get yourself together and she may take you back. Work at showing her once you have it together how much you do.
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If there is anything worth crying about, it’s the loss of love from a good woman.
Toad is right, don’t leave. Don’t be a stalker retard either. Devote all the time that you have to making yourself a better man for her. Write to her in a non-stalker way.
If you have to fly, get over it. You are not going to die. There are thousands of things that are more likely to kill you. I won’t pray that you’re plane won’t crash; that would be a waste of time. I will pray that your cab doesn’t crash on the way to the airport though.
eskimo
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lol Eskimo thanks
Dang you Schaden, thats why I always wear the damn seatbelt.
Oh its too late have the tickets and have quit my job here.
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Its never too late.
Get outta this mindset and try to set things right
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Originally posted by Pooh21
lol Eskimo thanks
Dang you Schaden, thats why I always wear the damn seatbelt.
Oh its too late have the tickets and have quit my job here.
Cash the tickets in or sell them, and find another job. I doubt the distance will help. You can do this, and even if it doesn't work out, you'll survive, and be a better man for it.
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I think I'd miss the beer the autobahn. I hope it works out for you two.
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Originally posted by Pooh21
lol Eskimo thanks
Dang you Schaden, thats why I always wear the damn seatbelt.
Oh its too late have the tickets and have quit my job here.
Its only too late if you let it be.
Tickets is just money & can be replaced
A job is just a job.& also can be replaced
Get another one. You were looking for a job when you go tthat one werent you.
Your one and only is not so easily replaced. Some people go their whole lives without finding one.
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Pooh,
You can get a new job.
You can replace the cost of the flights.
You can never replace the love of a family.
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They are right, you made a huge mistake with your wife and the booze. If you leave, that will be huge mistake number two.
Don't leave. Think about all the things that she's pissed about, think about what she wants from you. Fix it.
Consider this your wake up call.
If you fly back to the US, we will mock you for blowing it when you still had a chance.
eskimo
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I guess you can all mock me. It is a roundtrip ticket. I think some space will help and hell I havent seen my parents and grandparents for like 5 years and they are 60s and 90s respectivly. But I think positive now it will work out.
But this might be my last post here for awhile, been a fun 4 years
S! to you all
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Well good luck to you anyway & hope you find happiness wherever your road leads to
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You won't crash, take it easy.
Just focus on doing your best for yourself.
Win-win for you and her.
Take care Pooh
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Good luck pooh and don't give up on love.
Not saying you should turn into one of them stalking crazy people, but let her know how you feel and give here some space..
send her some flowers when you get across the pond
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Originally posted by Pooh21
I guess you can all mock me. It is a roundtrip ticket. I think some space will help and hell I havent seen my parents and grandparents for like 5 years and they are 60s and 90s respectivly. But I think positive now it will work out.
But this might be my last post here for awhile, been a fun 4 years
S! to you all
I don't think anyone is mocking you, I'm not. By all means, go see your family. Maybe a few days away will help. But weeks or months won't, you can't hide from it, neither of you, if you want to reconcile.
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I really won’t mock you pooh. But I do think that you are blowing it. As Captain Virgil Hilts said, a long time away will not be good. You’re probably 25 and you’ve changed a bit since you got married. You will change even more, just make sure that it’s for the better.
eskimo
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pooh... hope you get what you want but..
sometimes no matter how badly we want something... we are better off without it. Sometimes a mariage is what is causing problems in life. I would treat the six months as a time to get to know myself and to do things that you wouldn't be able to do when you were married...
While it is only natural to be sad over the potential for loss....Being misserable won't help either of you..
lazs
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lay off the booze, with a clean mind pen your thoughts of her and your expectations regarding the relationship, mail it. give it some time, then call her.
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If we're giving advice here's mine - you're allowed to totally screw things up a few times, the younger you are the easier it is to bounce back and rebuild - under 30 2-3 times easy, over 30, once is doable - over 40 don't even think about it.
In ten or twenty years you'll look back at what now seems to be terrible and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.
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shaden is right about time tho... I am really glad that my wives are no longer my wives.
lazs
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maybe he ain't leavin but she is bootin him out ... you all sound like he has a choice
sounds like he made the wrong choice already and now is paying for it
wishing him and his happiness and peace in whatever form it takes for them in their future
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Sorry to hear that Pooh.
Thanks for the reminder. When I met my wife I decided to tell her I love her every day. That was over 10 years ago and I still do it. Usually in the morning when we wake up or at night after the kids are in bed.
You regret what has happened to your relationship and you acknowlage that you were partly to blame. That is a good thing. Give her a bit of space and tell her how you feel.
I hope you can work it out.
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Originally posted by Schaden
Try not to watch any airline crash investigation programmes up to a year before boarding a commercial flight - I did and the one about the little cargo door popping open on a 747 29,000 over the Pacific which caused a hole to blow out in the side of the jet (much to the surprise and consternation of those not wearing seatbelts) keeps popping into my bed as I lift off.
One minute you're grumbling about not getting the chicken dinner and your headset isn't working properly and then next you're in a 5 minute freefall - oh thank you very much Channel 4!!
Eh when i was traveling wasnt a preety sight to look out the window seeing a big hole in the wing. Preety funny when you see workers just patching it up with ducttape.
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well... if nothing else...
It's really fun to watch the ex wives argue with their new husbands.
lazs
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It's the best kind of ack hugging. (Hugging your wife that is.)
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Good luck Pooh
Stay away from the booze and do yourself a big favor....
Print out and keep your original post on this thread......
It might help keep things in perpective 6 months from now.
No shame in crying. It sometimes has it's purposes. shutup laz ;)
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A couple things to try, just for giggles.
Church.
Major life change (ie. no booze, period).
In my experience, women need proof, or physical demonstrations, of a change of heart. If you can identify one thing you can give up, something so dear to you that it proves that you value your wife more than you value yourself, then giving that thing up can make the difference.
If that one thing is so important that you can't give it up, then you've already made your decision as to what is most important in your life. It may be totally unfair for her to demand that you give up something and make the choice between that and her, but if that's what it takes, then you have a choice to make even if it has nothing to do with any real problem you may have.
Some women need that reassurance, that you'd give up something that is very important to you, for no reason other than she wanted you to give it up. They make false dilemmas that can only be solved by divorce or giving up something you value for no reason other than she wanted you to give it up as a symbolic gesture of your love and devotion. So it's up to you to make the choice, and decide if making that choice will strengthen your bond or create a resentment that will ruin your relationship just as surely as her resentment would if you don't decide in her favor.
Logic has nothing to do with it. It rarely does. Make your choice, either her or your life as you knew it. In my limited experience, only the very rare lucky man gets both.
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well... in real life... when people ask me about women and what to do...
I just tell em... "you do realize who you are asking right?" They allways go... "uh... oh yeah... nevermind.."
I know how to get divorced and how to survive afterwards and all that... I even know how to get new ones... Keeping em is way out of my field of expertise.
My girfriend now is going on three years... allmost a record... I attribute it to her living 60 miles away but.... what do I know?
lazs
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you are free now. celebrate.
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Originally posted by lazs2
shaden is right about time tho... I am really glad that my wives are no longer my wives.
lazs
Amen, Brother. They make much better friends.
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Hang, you deserve another wife!!! ;)
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Nope. way too old to be set up for the 'conditioning' that women employ to make men fit companions to live with. Old dogs don't dig the new tricks.
Women should be obscene, and not heard.
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Wives are over rated, marriage was invented by a very smart and crafty evil woman.
Wives are easily replaced..there are more females on the planet than males...and lets face it after a few years with one it gets really boring.
I got a cleaning lady,
2 clubs within walking distance,
7 restuarants within walking distance,
3 markets..2 liqour stores
3 supermarkets and 2 that will deliver to my door
1 girlfrield and another that just likes screwin and has a collection of ..umm toys.
2 hamsters .. one grossly overweight ..the other I think is just a retard and hardly moves or eats.
bout 20 relatives within 50 miles..that are costantly hookin me up with tail...thats actually a negative cuz their idea of a "good woman" is not mine...I do not like "good" women ..only the nasty ones!
1 ex-wife who's remarried to a well to do lawyer now and keeps her insane arse off mine.
60-70 hour a week job
a neighbors cat that keeps sneaking into my garage and sleepin on my z4 soft top and leaving squealing cat hair all over it...which I just may cure with a radiator coolant leak...
daughter thats going to Santa Cruz State and is costing me my left arm and both my nards to support.
so who needs a wife..???
oh..and I have a CH stick and pedals..combo and Trackir and Aces High...and my new favorite stock (VC) just made me over 10k in pure profit in the last 40 days..life is good....wife is'nt
wives ARE overrated...there is one thing I miss about being married......i just cant recall what it was ....if anything.
I'll only remarry when I'm too old to wipe my own arse and need help.
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You mean you're suppossed to wipe it??? :(
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Agrees with Amraam....
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Just a thought but spometimes its worth thinking if you realy love someone but you can see that you are no longer making each other happy it might be best to let them go and find the happiness they and you deserve. Real love might mean letting go.
I came to that conclusion after my first wife left. Bloody heart breaking at the time and I still feel bad that somehow I must have made her so unhappy that ultimately she had to leave. But in the end I could see that by hanging on she would have been unhappy and I couldn't spend my life knowing that I was the cause of that. To hang on to her would have been selfish.
I'm now re married and its just grand. I'm also content knowing that my ex has gone on to find a new partner start a family and has found her happiness again.
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Sometimes you got to realize you are carrying around dead weight and have to get rid of it or live miserably.
If after a reasonable time to try to work things out and it`s still not clicking, then dump it. Get on with life. It`s too short to be burdened with someone elses baggage if they don`t fit the bill.
Relieving myself from my first wife was probably one of the best decisions I have ever made. She was a royal pain in the arse.
Been married to my second wife for 33 years on July 8th of this year. That was the second great decision I made.
She`s stuck through the good times, the bad times and the so so times. She stuck through the initial, "I`m not ever trusting anything that wears a skirt" times, including the extreme skirt chasing on the side. She stuck through the outlaw days and I can say was the absolute best for watching your back. She proved this on one occasion to the max.
We`ve been through good health , bad health, injury and loss together.
A lots of times we don`t even have to say anything to each other , because we allready know what the other is thinking.
The key is we are very happy together and pretty much see eye to eye on the majority of things.
Don`t live life dragging your feet in the mud. If you aren`t happy, don`t drag it out. Get on with it. Happiness may just well be around the corner for you.
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The hardest part is convincing them that you would love to stay but for their own good you should split up.
I might get skyprancer to write my next farewell speech... he has the..... "sensitivity" that I seem to lack.
hang... friends? yeah.. they make better friends than wives if it's like one of those friends that you see every 10 years or so for lunch.
lazs
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Originally posted by Pooh21
2nd I cant stand flying in a civil airliner. If I flew myself then all would be ok(but of course I cant). I am damn scared I am like gonna die in a crash in like 6+ hours.
Alcohol induced paranoia? All you need is aspirin to ward off the threat of DVT, and something to help with the boredom.
You may get a big surprise - Things might even get better. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. ;)
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Hope things work out for the best for you, Pooh. By now I am sure you will have arrived safely at your parents, so make the best of this time. :aok
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Where are you flying? I'll take the tickets if you don't want them.
guess I'm too late.........bummer.