Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Arcades057 on June 17, 2005, 02:11:40 PM
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(Yes, I am a Conservative Jackhole)
Subject: World history
World history
History began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to the coast & live on fish & lobster in winter.
The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention
of beer & the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.
These were the foundation of modern civilization & together were
the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups: Liberals & Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered it required grain & that was the
beginning of agriculture.Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can wereinvented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking & killing animals to B-B-Q at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement."
Other men who were weaker & less skilled at hunting learned to
live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's & doing the sewing, fetching & hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girleymen.'
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication
of cats, the invention of group therapy & group hugs & the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat & beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the
largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the *******.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most
prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, & French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists,
dreamers in Hollywood & group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat & still
provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes & generally anyone who works productively outside government.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the
producers & decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame & created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history.
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edited for troll feeding
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another conservative timeline (http://www.historyplace.com/worldwar2/holocaust/timeline.html)
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Originally posted by JB88
another conservative timeline (http://www.historyplace.com/worldwar2/holocaust/timeline.html)
The first post was an attempt at humor..yours was just insulting .
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88 that was neither pertinent nor humorous. Very poor taste.
On the other hand you certainly put yourself right in line with Star of Africas post.
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Originally posted by ASTAC
The first post was an attempt at humor..yours was just insulting .
Probably a 'Gary Hart moment' disqualifier in the moderator elections...
(http://history.sandiego.edu/gen/USPics43/1987-gary-hart-enquirer.jpg)
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Glad to see some thought it was funny. Others...
StarOfAfrica: You talk of "dumb" people? I would put my intelligence against yours any day of the week. Your little post was cute, and showed that you have ample amounts of time on your hands.
JB88: You are a very misguided soul and must have attended college, as that sort of ignorance can only come from higher education.
Sorry if anyone was "offended " by another point of view... on the internet, no less. LoL. I try comedy and you jump to insults... typical.
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Forgive 88. He's so far left that he is below the horizon.
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People who have never had higher education tend to claim those who have somehow gained ignorance by attending classes.
We can generalise till the cows come home, but the assumption that attending college makes you more ignorant is the definition of ignorance.
-SW
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We can generalise till the cows come home, but the assumption that attending college makes you more ignorant is the definition of ignorance.
You're right; I was simply going by my own life experience that attending college makes you ignorant, ie, not respectful of others' viewpoints, as JB88 showed with his despicable post.
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If you went to college, you wouldn't make that type of statement unless you consider yourself ignorant.
College doesn't make a person ignorant, susceptibility makes a person ignorant.
-SW
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I think Star was right on the money.
silly drivel ain't funny.
All are fine humans..
All suck!
woot.. I laughed I cried I nearly died.
:aok
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Wait just a dog gone minute. Liberals invented beer for the enjoyment and elightenment of mankind.
Conservatives took it away (18th Amendment).
Liberals got it back for all to enjoy (21st Amendment). Get yer facts straight. :)
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Two days, and we're already slippin' back into the rut.
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Originally posted by Sandman
Two days, and we're already slippin' back into the rut.
That same exact thought crossed my mind
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Originally posted by rpm
Wait just a dog gone minute. Liberals invented beer for the enjoyment and elightenment of mankind.
The oldest proven records of brewing are about 6000 years old and refer to the Sumarians. Ancient Sumaria lay between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, encompassing Southern Mesopotamia. The Sumarians discovered the fermentation process by chance. Of course, nobody knows today, exactly how this occurred, but it could be that a piece of bread became wet and was simply forgotten. After a short time the bread began to ferment and a inebriating pulp resulted. The Sumarians were able to repeat this process and are assumed to be he first civilized culture to brew beer. They had discovered a "divine drink" which they offered to their gods.
Sounds like right wing religious extremists invented beer...
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There is some academic speculation the Aztec (or pre Aztec) civilization may go back as far as 20,000 years. They were working on beer the whole time, that is to say they had to develop corn (maize) from wild grass first. I betcha they were the first ones to make beer.
So, to address the beer part, yes, beer is important and I agree it plays a big part in history. Even will go so far as to say, making beer would be the primary impetus for improving corn from wild grass, though a timeline of 20k years is speculative. It does seem that after that period of time whiskey (or strong spirits) would have been developed in Central America next, utilizing advanced distilling processes.
If they'd a had that, who knows how history might have turned out when Cortez arrived. They mighta said the heck with the gold, where's the white lightning?
Les
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Originally posted by Leslie
If they'd a had that, who knows how history might have turned out when Cortez arrived. They mighta said the heck with the gold, where's the white lightning?
Now THAT'S what I'm talkin about!:aok
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Originally posted by Leslie
Even will go so far as to say, making beer would be the primary impetus for improving corn from wild grass, though a timeline of 20k years is speculative. It does seem that after that period of time whiskey (or strong spirits) would have been developed in Central America next, utilizing advanced distilling processes.
The Clovis culture is dated to 13,500 BC and is AFAIK the oldest archeological evidence of humans in the Americas, so 20,000 is stretching it. You can't make corn whiskey without Kentucky branch water so, not the Aztecs... maybe the Cherokee.
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I think I heard that on Discovery Channel or something like that. But it is interesting no doubt. Whisky is all rotgut, but Kentucky and Tennessee have pure spring water, and that's the main ingredient. None better anywhere.:D
Les
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edited for troll feeding
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If you weren't offended by my joke which wasn't directed at you, and I wasn't offended by your obvious insult which was clearly directed at me, then all is well.
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As long as yer here Arcade, and playing, can you expand on this: "JB88: You are a very misguided soul and must have attended college, as that sort of ignorance can only come from higher education."
Curious.
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Nash, it does make sense on a certain level.
As you get more education, you tend to specialize. For instance in Grade school we learn skills fundamental to us all. Reading, basic arithmatic, things we use everyday.
Then in high school we start to learn things that are the beginnings of specialization. Future medical folks take biology. Geeks take computer classes. Some of us take calculus, other chemistry.
Then in college, some go pre-med, some engineering, you get the idea.
On the engineering track you learn amout thermodynamics, beam deflections, stress and strain, metal fatigue...
Once the BS degree, maybe you continue to MS or Phd. There you write a thesis on "Temperature Effects on Flexure on Aramid Honeycomb Core Materials"
Post doctorate study, you become the world's formost authority on some minute facet of sandwich structural material as it relates to the AAMRAM.
So, as you learn more you begin to know more and more about less and less until you know everything about nothing.
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Yeah, there is that.
And there is the other 98% that just learns more about whatever.
When I'm looking at resumes, their particular path concerns me less than that they took the path.
Dedicated themselves, and were committed to bettering themselves.
That's what a degree means to me. Those that blow it off sound like every deadbeat I ever knew.
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Originally posted by Nash
As long as yer here Arcade, and playing, can you expand on this: "JB88: You are a very misguided soul and must have attended college, as that sort of ignorance can only come from higher education."
Curious.
When someone can make a good argument (not that JB88 did) for something that is patently untrue it is clear they are intelligent and misguided--the majority of misguided intelligent folk come from college,after picking up their professors' viewpoints, hence the comments.
Have I gone to college? No, the family is kind of hurting for money, as am I, so it can wait for a bit. Do I hold higher education against people? LoL, no. It just makes me worried that some of these fools that I know in the real world, those who use the Bush = Hitler argument, are the future leaders of this country.
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Originally posted by Arcades057
Have I gone to college? No, the family is kind of hurting for money, as am I, so it can wait for a bit.
So... after waiting a bit, ..... you intend to become ignorant? :confused:
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Good on ya.
When yer out of attacks on education, there is always the media and the courts. Have at er.
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After further deliberation, I decided I never should have fed this troll to start with. Fell back into the old mode too easy. Apologies. I've taken my responses out. You folks enjoy the rest of your weekend. :aok
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Arcades,
There does exist the type of creature you are referring to. I have heard it called the "educated idiot". That is the poor critter that receives an education based on a narrow focus and absorbing facts while totally ignoring the lessons on how to examine and analyze what they are "learning" and how it applies to life or living.
FWIW Nash has it right. The person who is out to improve themselves learns that no matter how much they learn, it teaches them how much they don't know. The learning never ceases for those who stretch their minds instead of those merely taking up seat space in a classroom and passing exams.
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The older I get, the less I value my education as a tool for passing those little think outside the box exams life throws at me. It wasn't a waste of time, but it doesn't give me the insight I used to think it did.
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don't confuse education with intelligence.
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Illustrated by the fact that class clowns and comics that are also in the top tier are usually way too bored in class to pay attention or stick to doctus cum libro.
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funny stuff arcades. ignore those two liberals. :D
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Originally posted by Arcades057
When someone can make a good argument (not that JB88 did) for something that is patently untrue it is clear they are intelligent and misguided--the majority of misguided intelligent folk come from college,after picking up their professors' viewpoints, hence the comments.
Now you've posted something that made me laugh.
Thanks Arcade!
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did anyone else notice his use of the word "hence?"
ergo - intelligensia.
burn.
stake.
;)
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Liberals feel that there are certain things that they own by sacred (oops... wrong word) right (oops nuther bad one)
there is education and humor.. and of course style..
Any attempt by anyone not in the club to use those tools against them is met with severe distaste (MT is an example with "it's not funny damnit!") post or.. the posters here who are horrified that the NEA may not be the only way that taxpayers have to educate their children..
In humor.. I have found that any conservative humor is treated with horror and rightious indignation by the left... It is a percieved threat to their very hippness.
It is like a straight conservative interior decorator winning some award or a conservative done movie winning academy awards or... like all those mean spirited achievement tests for school children that are based on actual academic achievment and put the noble public school in a bad light..
The liberals do have better comedians... probly on a magnitude of 10... ya gotta suffer to be good at it... but that makes it even more obvious about how insecure they are when a conservative comedy routine is slammed.
In my opinion.. the original post was pretty funny... not the best but certainly funnier than most.
lazs