Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Suave on July 12, 2005, 04:51:08 PM
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I just called in to work, told 'em my water just broke.
What are your favorite excuses? Anything involving a black mamba gets extra points from me.
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This is your boss speaking.
Your fired. That is all
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Oblig bash quote:
#258908 +(7043)- [X]
: If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
: If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
: Where u work?
: I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)
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Oh man, that's great.
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I'd have to call in every week for three months after having used up all my sick days before I would be asked to work for someone else.
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I call in "well." Works like this:
"Guess what... I'm calling in 'well'. Yup. That's right.. 'well'. Why?? Because ever since you 'implemented' the pay cuts, chopped the vaction time and yanked the health insurance, I've felt like **** every day. Yep. Just turnin into the parking lot makes me ill. So anyway; Today's a real nice day & I happen to feel pretty good, so I'm not commin in so's youse can louse it up. No worries tho.. supposed to rain tomorrow; I'll be in then. Cya!"
*click*
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'Hi boss, I can't make it in today because I have an interview with your commercial rival.'
'That's OK Cp, because I have an interview with them next week. Let me know how it goes'
It's great when the unit is closing down and you can leave any day with a five figure sum in your clammy hands.
What's not so great is that all your friends are leaving one by one and you find yourself sitting alone in the cafeteria remembering the good times and the laughs you had. End of an era. :(
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The standard with me is, "I seem to be having eye problems."
and the reply from the supervisor usually is, "You can't see yourself comming to work today, can you."
".... Nah, not today."
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i wouldn't even think of it...such dishonesty:D
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I'm so spoiled.
I say "I'm not coming in today"
They say "ok"
I say "I'm leaving early today"
They say "ok"
I say "I'm staying late today"
They say "ok"
It's tough I tell ya'
g00b
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Never had any problem going to work so never had to make an excuse. Of course now I don't have to call anyone and all my time is my own. :p
Retirement, it's a dirty job but somebody has to do it. :D
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goob has it.:D
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Me: I can't come in
Boss: Why?
Me: Cause I got drunk last night and violated crew rest by not getting any. In addition I'm probably still over the legal limit to operate a moving vehicle not to mention the fact that I can't do explosive mait. for at least another 3 hours.
Boss: So basically you have the brown bottle flue and you are doing both of us a favor by you not coming in and trying to hide it and me not looking for were ever you are hiding all day long.
Me: Yup, basically.
Boss: Sounds good see ya tomorrow.
Me: If I'm sober and not hung over for luch you wanna meet up
Boss: Sure same place same time
Me: Later.
:aok
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As I mentioned in another thread. "Bassitus"
Also the little known Americn indian disease "Lackawanna"
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seriously .....
if you have an APT with a detached garage....
power went out on the garage, landloard is not answering, opener won't work so you can't get to the car....
can only use once / twice if you are VERY trustworthy (best if used after a heavy local storm)
morbid... (and wrong on my part)
friend (NOT close) died, but a family member, or relative was close, and you are concerned about them, take a day off to console the friend / relative. (i did not use, but could have because boss know's im a big softie)
local incapacitated relative needs help with something (car won't start, needs a ride to doctor that normal ride can't take them too, so on)
another weather related, after a big storm, lightning hit building (only good in APT) and landloard needs to come by to see what is bad (your immediate APT is OK, but not positive, electrical problems possible) BTW you have to call in EARLY about this, like 5 AM and leave voice mail
if your boss isn't the type to check insurance records... AND you work in a job that requires speaking.... you chipped a tooth in your sleep (honestly happened to a close friend) and need a cap today at the dentist (11:00 appointment best because of no bother to come in, and after wil eb all drugged up) some days later when seeing boss, eat some onions and garlic for lunch, then offer to show the great tooth work the dentist did
some of these require a mental memory of the event, to play on later, like "OW" tooth acting up while at lunch a few months later.
i'll have more later...
and yes i am the george costanza of lies :p
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The worst one I had was when I was acting as a supervisor, I had a guy leave a note stating he would not be in the following day because he was "Having bloody rectal discharges". He had hemorhoids and his doghnut pillow was missing.
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"This is his father, he won't be in to work today"
"Why?"
"He died last night. I wouldn't expect him tomorrow, either"
"Can he make it Friday?"
"We'll see what we can do about that"
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To tell the truth I went four years without calling in sick. I hated my job but it just seemed easier to go in than think of an excuse.
Some people are pretty dumb about calling in sick. Younger people get a parent to call which is pretty dumb. Particularly when the boss has your mobile phone number. :lol It usually ends up with a lecture to the miscreant to remind that they are not longer in school.
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Just remembered another one.
"I wont be in today. One of my ancestors died"
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i decided once that my job sucked and i wanted to quit. but i decided to do it in a way that would be fun for me.
"im sick or something. love it or shove it."
"i was shot in the head and am in a coma...see you in a couple days."
"my boss is sick and i need to visit him in the hospital."
"dont feel like feeding into the capitalist jugernaught today."
"i have more important things to do today than work for a coffin stuffer like you."
that last one was the "final straw" exept he didnt fire me, so i just stopped showing up to work entirely. i was notified about a half-week later that i had been fired.
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Originally posted by SMIDSY
...so i just stopped showing up to work entirely....
You have to be careful about job abandonment. Many employers will not hire someone who has EVER abandonded their job.
I can't wait to have kids. They are the ultimate sick day excuse.
Me: "I can't come in today."
Boss: "Why?"
Me: "Sick kid."
Boss: "Oh."
No questions asked. :D
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I like using the explosive diarhea, bloody vomit, or caughing up blood but my all time favorite is the "Anal Glaucoma" excuse. Cant see my arse coming in to work today. :rofl
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I've called in with "food poisoning" so many times, I've got the boss terrified to go to the mexican food restaraunt near the office.
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One of my employees called in sick today because his dog got hit by a car and died last night...only problem is that he used the same exact excuse about 5 months ago...remember to be original when calling in sick or at least honest. My best one was at my old work, I was still out drinking at 2am on a monday and went to my work and taped a note to the front door saying that since it was 2am and I was totally hammered I would not be in.
DaPup
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Anyone in a job where if you don't come in to work, all the work that you should have gotten done that day is backed up and you spend the rest of the week in panic mode working excessively late hours trying to get it all done?
I don't have a back-up, so in the last 3 years I can only remember taking 2 sick days and those only because I really was too sick to go to work.
Funny thing is that it was the same way when I was a systems admin. Not going to work created even more nightmares than going to work sick, plus I spent the entire day getting panic calls from the office anyway, and eventually ended up dragging myself in to handle the final, ultimate, "according to the VP the world will end in T minus 15 minutes if this isn't fixed" crisis (which usually turned out to be something along the lines of no one knew how to select "landscape" on one of the network printers), sigh.
These days, I get sick, I go to work. Ultimately, it works out a lot better than staying home. Besides my boss knows every time I'm lying.... ;)
- SEAGOON
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I am possessed by the devil, he told me not to go to work today. That was used at my work, no lie
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Originally posted by Maverick
Retirement, it's a dirty job but somebody has to do it. :D
I see what you are saying. Yesterday was the first day of my retirement. It's not easy but I'm going to tough it out. :)
Hmmm, what am I going to do today?
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Originally posted by Seagoon
Anyone in a job where if you don't come in to work, all the work that you should have gotten done that day is backed up and you spend the rest of the week in panic mode working excessively late hours trying to get it all done?
I don't have a back-up, so in the last 3 years I can only remember taking 2 sick days and those only because I really was too sick to go to work.
Funny thing is that it was the same way when I was a systems admin. Not going to work created even more nightmares than going to work sick, plus I spent the entire day getting panic calls from the office anyway, and eventually ended up dragging myself in to handle the final, ultimate, "according to the VP the world will end in T minus 15 minutes if this isn't fixed" crisis (which usually turned out to be something along the lines of no one knew how to select "landscape" on one of the network printers), sigh.
These days, I get sick, I go to work. Ultimately, it works out a lot better than staying home. Besides my boss knows every time I'm lying.... ;)
- SEAGOON
LOL!! Oh sure.. be 'typhoid mary'... get EVERYBODY sick! ;)
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I quit the excuse thing in high-school. usually just go with a "I won't be in today"
I did have a guy demand an excuse for me being 15 minutes late when I was an apprentice (I was actually their 10 minutes before start time but the ride into the plant left early).
I told him "I ran out of 'Total' and had to eat 12 bowls of 'shredded wheat'."
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One of my friends and I were drinking for community service yesterday (long story) and she decided she'd be too hungover to go to her night job. I lent her my cell phone and she called off of work drunk saying that she was drinking and would be too hungover to come into work that night. It worked, and when she sobered up I had to show her the call log of my phone to get her to believe that she actually did it.
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I usually call in with the ancient Chinese illness, DragginAss.
I hope my boss doesn't read this!
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Seagoon yeah I have that same problem, the second I leave something happens that requires me to be there, I will either have to come in sick and deal with it, ir let it set in my office until I get back, the only problem is when you comeback your customers don't care about you getting sick they just care about getting there product... I bet in the 6 years I have been working for this company I have taken maybe 3-4 days off... lol heck most of the time I am in on saturday mornings just getting caught up from the previous week... Really hampers my Aces High time lol. When I worked at my old job I bet I had about 20-30 grandmothers die and I even developed cancer for a week at one point, but the doctors tests eventually came back negative lol... anything with cancer is a great excuse
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Keep calling in sick.....It's great for my business.......
Actually I am the Branch Manager/ Skip Tracer in our office here and since I am the lone office person and manager, I dont have to call in.
I can do all of my work from home. Except AH is on my home PC so not mch work will get done if I had to do it there.
My office is able to go mobile so I dont sweat it.
But keep calling in sick......