Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Toad on September 16, 2001, 07:00:00 PM
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It's been pretty grim lately. But the other thing we have to remember is the ability to laugh.
So, here's one that made me chuckle....supposedly true, but I think it's more "Urban Legend". At least I can't find anything to substantiate it.
"This is a reputed* extract of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Army Lieutenant General Reinwald about sponsoring a Boy Scout Troop on his military installation.
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Interviewer: "So, LTG Reinwald, what are you going to do with these young boys on their adventure holiday?"
LTG Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
Interviewer: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
LTG Reinwald: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the range."
Interviewer: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
LTG Reinwald: "I don't see how, we will be teaching them proper range discipline before they even touch a firearm."
Interviewer: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
LTG Reinwald: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"
End of the interview
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* NPR has been unable to substantiate this interview.
OK, somebody else's turn. Lighten the mood.
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What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
(answer in next post) :)
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"The dirtbag sits higher on a Harley !"
Heh :)
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Seen on the back of a bikers T-shirt:
"If you can read this, the squeak fell off"
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Not a biker, but have got this T-shirt. My GF is not too keen on me wearing it though ;)
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ROFL Toad
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What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy sessionwith four young mothers
and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even
named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests
itself in your child's name, Penny"
He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. Again, it
manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and
whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
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A little boy came home from school and told his father he had a part in the school play.
The father asked what part he was to play. The little boy replied, Husband.
The father told his son to keep up the good work. Next time he may get a speaking part.
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Thanks, guys... good for some smiles and LOL's.
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I picture the Afghan air force scrambling. Ten guys assigned to each aircraft pushing them down the runway to jump-start them. Gives a whole new meaning to turbine powered.
:)
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A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down.
After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.
"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.
The lawyer answered, "He said 'get lost, you turkey. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'”
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A long New Orleans style funeral procession passes by, but instead of a jazz band, it’s lead by a man walking a lion. Behind the coffin walk at least 200 people. A bystander asks the man, “What’s going on?”
“My lion ate my lawyer and this is his funeral,” is the reply.
“Could I borrow your lion?” asks the bystander. “I’ve got a lawyer I’d like to have eaten.”
“Sorry, but you’ll have to get at the end of that line,” said the man, pointing to the 200 people following the coffin.
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LOL at above...here's an oldie, only one I can think of at the moment...
Father and son walking hand in hand, come across a dog licking 'himself'...Son says "Dad, why do dogs lick their balls?"...Dad says "Because they CAN, son, because they CAN!"
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Baby bull and papa bull sitting on top of a hill, looking over a heard of cows.... baby bull says to papa bull, " hey lets run down there and screw one of those cows!" Papa says to baby bull, "no son, let's walk down, screw'em all".
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One similar to ripsnorts.
2 guys walking down the street come across a dog lickin' his "privates".
One guy says, "Man I wish I could do that".
The other says, "I wouldn't, he might bite ya".
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If gambling is illegal.....why is marriage legal?