Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Sandman on June 21, 2001, 07:17:00 PM
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What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your Mom.
What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
Say, "Nice Dick."
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the salamanders on the outside.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo?
A Southern zoo has a description of the animal in the front of the cage,along with a recipe.
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
[ 06-22-2001: Message edited by: Sandman_SBM ]
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Wow, racism, sexism and homophobia, all in one post. WTG!!! :rolleyes:
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Wow, racism, sexism and homophobia, all in one post. WTG!!! :)
Good lord Thrawn, lighten up. Are you still in high school or college by any chance?
SOB
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Wow, racism, sexism and homophobia, all in one post. WTG!!! :cool:
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No SOB, I'm a 27 yr/old, married guy. I just don't find prejudice very funny.
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Is funny, funny?
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Well, little ol' extreme leftist, often-too-pc-for-his-own-personal-health me found it very funny indeed! :cool:
The only one that I found tasteless was the Cuba national anthem one.
Sometimes the best way to deal with all the bad things in this world is to laugh at em.
BTW, that joke about boyfriends is not homophobic. Read it again.
:D
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All guys with 5:1 ratios of consonants to vowels in their UBB handle are too uptight to be taken seriously. They're all the same if you ask me.
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That's somewhat prejudiced Fatty. I mean.. SOB only has 3 letters in his ID... who's to say 2 more wouldn't be consonants. Is he somehow better because he has only a 2:1 c to v ratio?
Sheesh. You FDPs are just too... well... cute.
AKDejaVu
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Jeez....lighten up Francis (Thrawn).....its a friggin joke for pete's sake!!!
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Okay... the stuff about Cubans and Italians are deleted.
Are the jokes sexist? You bet your bellybutton they are. Get over it.
Homophobic? Not really, but at least one of them pokes fun at homophobes.
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I thought it was a very funny post. Has a base in the truth :)
thanks Sandman
Eagler
[ 06-22-2001: Message edited by: Eagler ]
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Ironic that Carrol O'Connor just past away. See, I feel pretty hypocritical at the moment. I used to piss myself laughing at 'All in the Family'. I haven't seen it in awhile, but I imagine I would still laugh, who knows.
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Shut up Thrawn, you snivelling bleeding heart liberal "The View" watching, interior decorator wannabe.
:)
(http://www.fadetoblack.com/parkinglot/toons//178.gif)
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[dumb mode on]
What do you mean by "sexist"?
What exactly "sexism" is?
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Dunno Bora, but poor Ripsnort is going to need some anti-ADLS bone marrow transplants if he ever going to find a way to stop dry humping the HTC staff and get midevil on me at the con.
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Originally posted by Creamo:
Dunno Bora, but poor Ripsnort is going to need some anti-ADLS bone marrow transplants if he ever going to find a way to stop dry humping the HTC staff and get midevil on me at the con.
Ya know, just watching that would be worth the cost of attending the con!!!! :D
Mav
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Bah, ya can't sue him Mav, or it indeed would be good TV.
Plus, he's buying a new car and can't get to the con.
What good assault/battery/tard suit could you get worth while if he's broke?
Best I could do is driving Mr. Fish around San Fran in Droopy's new BMW wondering if he paid off the "mental anguish" portion of the lawsuit so we could get a full tank of gas and head straight to Reno for free Casino food/booze, and hookers that want to cut the middleman out and give us discounts before we go to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch?
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nm
[ 06-22-2001: Message edited by: Thrawn ]
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Originally posted by Creamo:
Bah, ya can't sue him Mav, or it indeed would be good TV.
Plus, he's buying a new car and can't get to the con.
What good assault/battery/tard suit could you get worth while if he's broke?
Best I could do is driving Mr. Fish around San Fran in Droopy's new BMW wondering if he paid off the "mental anguish" portion of the lawsuit so we could get a full tank of gas and head straight to Reno for free Casino food/booze, and hookers that want to cut the middleman out and give us discounts before we go to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch?
Creamo,
Have no loving idea where you get the suit comment from. I meant it would be worth the price of the con to see him get medieval on your ass. Could be an interesting match up. I wouldn't knnow who to bet on.
Mav
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Well Mav, the best I recall I was thinking how funny it was that guys like Liztard3 and such were saying they were going to kick everyones bellybutton if they met them and other rants of stupid toejam. Drink 2 pitchers of screwdrivers like I did while posting and laughing at my handsomehunk and you might understand it better.
I was merley eluding (I think) to 'Ol Droopy (rip) getting all pissed off and getting "MidEvil" on me for goofing on him all the time for trying to be a AH General and everyones best buddy, that's all.
Tie in the fact he will never buy a BMW for $40 Grand and I twisted a spoof to saying if he did he couldnt pay the lawsuit I'd file for him getting midevil or whatever...blah blah.
Seemed funny at the time- Is it not funny if I have to explain it? :)
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Sandman, oh man that is some hilarious stuff!
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Can't take the credit, Fscott... just forwarding it along. :)