Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Apache on March 26, 2001, 01:19:00 PM
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Maw is outside hangin up the laundry, when she hears Paw in the kitchen.
Maw walks in and says, "Paw, get out there and fix that there outhouse."
Paw says, "All right, Maw." Paw walks out to the outhouse,looks at it,
and says, "Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"
Maw says, "Yes, there is. Put your head down in the hole."
Paw says "I ain't puttin my head in that there hole!"
Maw says, "Well you're gonna have to ifluff'n you're gonna fix the problem!"
Paw puts his head down in the hole (just a little bit mind ya) and he
hollers, "Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"
Maw hollers, "Now pull your head out of the hole."
Paw goes to lift up his head and he says, "Oww! OWW!
Maw! MAW, my beard's stuck in the cracks in the seat!"
Maw says, "Aggravatin', ain't it?"
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(http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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ugh...
A few weeks later, as spring is drawing on, Pa is talking to cousin Cletus, and the topic of what to do with the rapidly filling outhouse comes up.
Pa says, "Well, I tell you, I need to get this thing cleared out or nothin' else is gonna fit in 'ere."
"Well, " says Cletus, "I'll tell ya what ta do dere. Take yerself a stick 'e dyny-mite, and drop it in the hole. That dyny-mite'll blow, and the outhouse'll pop up in th' air, the contents will spread out, fertilizin' yer fields, and the outhouse'll come down kerplunkt on that there hole again, which would thereby then kill you two birds with one stone... as it were."
Pa gets to thinking that this isn't such a bad idea, so the next day he takes a stick of dynamite, lights it, drops it in the hole, and ducks behind the pig trough. Just then, Ma comes out the back of the house, and makes a beeline for the outhouse. Before Pa can shout a warning, in she goes. Well, the dynamite blows, the outhouse flies up in the air, the contents of the hole spread out over the fields, just like Cletus said it would, and the outhouse drops back onto the hole.
Moments later a rather messy and bedraggled Ma stumbles from the outhouse, as Pa runs over in a panic.
"Jumpin' jee-hosi-fats, Ma! Are ya allright?" he asks.
"I'm fine Pa," she replies, "But thank heavens I didn't do that in the house!"
groan.
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oh gawd.
Wobble, you reading this? (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
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Wobble, you reading this
Its Cleetus, not cletus.....cletus sounds like a female organ...
<retreats back into shadows>
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They sound just like my neighbors (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif) (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif) (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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ROTFLOL!