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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Curval on December 10, 2001, 09:48:00 AM

Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Curval on December 10, 2001, 09:48:00 AM
Anyone else a huge Python fan?

My favs:

From the Search for the Holy Grail:

King Arthur.."The lady of the Lake held aloft Excalibur...signifying by divine right that I 'Arthur' am King of the Britons"

Marxist Peasant.."Listen, strange women lying about in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.  Supreme Executive Power derives from a mandate from the masses...not from some farsical aquatic ceremony.  I mean, if I went 'round telling everyone I was King because some watery tart lobbed a sword at me they'd put me away!"

From, The Life of Brian

In the back of the crowd at the Sermon of the Mount, listening to Jesus.

Wife..."Did he just say 'Blessed are the cheesemakers?'"

Husband..."Well,I think he is referring to all manufacturers of dairy products dear."

-------
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: skernsk on December 10, 2001, 10:15:00 AM
Black Night -- "it's just a flesh wound...."

[ 12-10-2001: Message edited by: skernsk ]
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Dune on December 10, 2001, 10:20:00 AM
French knights in SHG upon being asked to go on the search, "No thank you.  We already have on..and it'saveeerry nice!".
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Sox62 on December 10, 2001, 10:37:00 AM
"Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes."
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Bluefish on December 10, 2001, 10:49:00 AM
This is a DEAD parrot; it is defunct!
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Dead Man Flying on December 10, 2001, 10:52:00 AM
Ni!
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: skernsk on December 10, 2001, 11:05:00 AM
"what behind the Rabbit?"

"IT IS THE RABBIT!"

"It's got long, sharp pointy teeth...."
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: fd ski on December 10, 2001, 11:05:00 AM
Aren't you gonna ask me why I said that ?

Why did you said that ?

Why do you think i said that ?

Interview... the best scetch ever !!! I wonder how come it never made it onto the colleciton tapes...
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Udie on December 10, 2001, 11:11:00 AM
"Fishy Fishy Fishy.....Fish.
The fish that go where ever I did go"

From The meaning of life.

or...


 "I'm Brian and my wife is Brian too!"

From the life of Brian
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Broes on December 10, 2001, 11:14:00 AM
"We demand...... A SHRUBBERY!"

Broes
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: midnight Target on December 10, 2001, 11:26:00 AM
Your father was a Hamster, and your Mother smelled of elderberries!

Or was that the other way round?
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Curval on December 10, 2001, 11:56:00 AM
and now for something completely different....

The Philosopher's Drinking Song:

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy begger
Who could think you under the table,
David Hume could out-consume
Shoppenhaur and Hegel
and Witichstien was a beery swine,
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed....

John Stuart Mill of his own free will
On 'alf a pint of shandy was particularly ill
Plato they say could stick it away
'alf a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
I drink therefore I am

Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed

(The names are probably misspelled...sorry..but I did it from memory)
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Fatty on December 10, 2001, 12:02:00 PM
I want to become a Lion Tamer!
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Horn on December 10, 2001, 12:07:00 PM
RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY!

dh
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Beefcake on December 10, 2001, 12:44:00 PM
"She turned me into a newt...."

"A newt?!"

"Well I got better..."


I have a millon quotes, I love MP stuff.  :)
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Tac on December 10, 2001, 01:09:00 PM
"What is your favourite color?"

"Red!.. NO WAIT BLUE!"

*aaaaaaahhh*
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: AKDejaVu on December 10, 2001, 01:32:00 PM
"Brave brave Sir Robin...
When danger reared its ugly head
Sir Robin bravely turned and fled."

-Sir Robin's minstrils.. Quest for the Holy Grail

"Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
When A sperm is wasted...
God gets quite irate."

-Catholic anti-contreception theme song... Meaning of Life.

AKDejaVu
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Mickey1992 on December 10, 2001, 01:44:00 PM
Waitor: "Aw, come on Sir.  It's wafer-thin!"
Fat, bulging customer about to explode: "Phuck off, I'm stuffed."
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: K West on December 10, 2001, 02:21:00 PM
"Oh yes....this is my wife, Dreary Fat Boring Old."

 I use that one at parties all the time myself. Goes over real well with the wife  ;)

Westy
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Udie on December 10, 2001, 02:40:00 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Mickey1992:
Waitor: "Aw, come on Sir.  It's wafer-thin!"
Fat, bulging customer about to explode: "Phuck off, I'm stuffed."

"Give me a bucket,  I think I'm goin to throw up!"
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: AKDejaVu on December 10, 2001, 02:44:00 PM
Ah Udie.. you have to do the lead in too:

Concierge: How are you today, Sir?
Fat man: Better
Concierge: Better, Sir?
Fat man: Better get a bucket, think I'm gonna throw up. <throws up on concierge's shoes>
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Curval on December 10, 2001, 02:50:00 PM
Waiter:  Would Monsieur like it all mixed up in a bucket?

Fatman:  Yea all mixed up in a bucket...and don't skimp on the pate!
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Octavius on December 10, 2001, 03:02:00 PM
"What.. is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden swallow?"

"African or European?"

"What?  I don't know that AAARRRRRRGHHHHH!!"
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Maverick on December 10, 2001, 03:10:00 PM
I fart in your general direction!

Now go away or I shall be forced to taunt you again!

I love  seeing some of the Monty stuff.  :)

 (http://www.13thtas.com/mav13sig.jpg)
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Beefcake on December 10, 2001, 03:18:00 PM
I like these 2 from life of brian

I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'

....and.....

He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'. 'Incontinentia Buttocks'.
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Rocket on December 10, 2001, 03:43:00 PM
Always look on the bright side of Life

Spam Spam eggs and Spam
Spam and beans
Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam and spam.
I DON'T LIKE SPAM!!!!!!!!!!

Tis a scratch
Is not.. your arms been lopped off
Tis so.. get back here and fight
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Dux on December 10, 2001, 03:58:00 PM
The entire Cheese Shop Sketch kills me every time. I'll post it if I have some time later.
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Serapis on December 10, 2001, 04:08:00 PM
I would have to post the entire twit of the year sketch myself. It worked well on a physical comedy level when I was 7, and on a higher plain when I becam aware of the whole class/middle school/govt. service culture.

charon
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Jack55 on December 10, 2001, 06:39:00 PM
From Holy Grail: Human pack-mule for Lancelot is struck in the chest by an arrow,  "A message for you sir."
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: CyranoAH on December 10, 2001, 07:14:00 PM
CAUTION: DO NOT READ BELOW!

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput

Lucky you don't understand it... otherwise you'd be dead by now.  :D  :D  :D  :D

Daniel, aka Cyrano

PS: ALBATROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Serapis on December 10, 2001, 07:35:00 PM
Ahhh Cyrano... The secret weapon Joke!!!

Charon
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Curval on December 10, 2001, 08:05:00 PM
Jack55....LOL...that exact phrase is my default sound when I get an e-mail!!

I'll mail the .wav file to you if you want it..it is the actual movie version with the sound of the arrow swishing through the air, as well as the "thunk" when it hits him....lemme know.

[ 12-10-2001: Message edited by: Curval ]
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: MaxQ on December 10, 2001, 08:30:00 PM
The Boxer Ken Clean-Air System's Trainer: "Ken's got a temprament problem caused by a small sliver of brain stuck in his skull. Once we get rid o' that, he should be alright."
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: moose on December 10, 2001, 09:20:00 PM
Quote
Originally posted by AKDejaVu:
"Brave brave Sir Robin...
When danger reared its ugly head
Sir Robin bravely turned and fled."
AKDejaVu


Was Robin a P-51 driver  :D
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Toad on December 10, 2001, 09:49:00 PM
Nah, Robin's strictly a D9 guy.
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Dux on December 10, 2001, 09:55:00 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Jack55:
From Holy Grail: Human pack-mule for Lancelot is struck in the chest by an arrow,  "A message for you sir."

Lol, that's my "you've got mail!" sound!
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: LLv34_Camouflage on December 10, 2001, 11:02:00 PM
"My hovercraft is full of eels."

"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I... I am no longer infected."

Gotta be the Hungarian Phrasebook sketch (http://www.montypython.net/scripts/phrasebk.php).  :D

Camo
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: SirLoin on December 11, 2001, 02:10:00 AM
"Is this the right room for an argument?".....  :D
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Curval on December 11, 2001, 06:54:00 AM
Sirloin....

You fesetering maloderous toffee nosed git...you're type real make me puke...oh...you're here for an arguement....this is abuse....arguements are down the corridor first door on your left!

  :D
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: gavor on December 11, 2001, 04:40:00 PM
Would you like to come back to my place. Bouncy bouncy.

or

I wanted to be a lumberjack, leaping from tree to tree.

Then the whole lumberjack song.

or the spam song.. or,..or
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: midnight Target on December 11, 2001, 05:22:00 PM
The Witch Logic from Grail -

"So if she weighs the same as a duck....."


or

To the reluctant (gay) bridegroom.....

"She has huge tracts o land!"
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: hazed- on December 11, 2001, 05:49:00 PM
'he is the messiah!, i should know ive followed a few'


 :D
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: AKIron on December 11, 2001, 10:29:00 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Dux:


Lol, that's my "you've got mail!" sound!

Made it my cell phone "ring". Get some very odd looks when I get a call.  :)
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Greese on December 12, 2001, 12:00:00 AM
"I'm not dead yet!"
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: steely07 on December 12, 2001, 02:17:00 AM
Curval,pls mail me that .wav,one of my fav's too,llv34 camo,love the hungarian phrasebook
"Please fondle my buttocks"
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: SirLoin on December 12, 2001, 10:47:00 AM
"Do you get waffers with it?".........  :D
Title: Favourite Monty Python Quotes
Post by: Nifty on December 12, 2001, 02:00:00 PM
*raises hand*  it's my email sound too!   ;)

The black knight scene is one of the best.  "Have at you!  I'm invincible!"  "You're a looney. Stop it!  I'll have your other leg!"

or
"then you, Sir Lancelot and I jump out of the rabbit..."  "who jumps out of the rabbit?"  "you, sir lancelot...  oh.  I know, we'll build a great wooden badger!"  *smack!*

or
"one, two, FIVE!" "THREE, sir!" "Three!"

or the Protestant scene just after the "Every Sperm is Sacred" song.  "If I want to put a condom on my John Thomas..."  priceless!

Guess I'm gonna have to watch some Python tonight.   :)