Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: StSanta on December 17, 2001, 04:24:00 AM
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About fear: I've noticed that as I'm growing older, I'm becoming more and more careful. In my early teens, I'd routinely dive wrecks without the proper backup equipment and penetrate the wreck in such a way that should I have a catastrophic gas failure, I'd be SOL.
Nowadays, I don't even think about it, because it's too damned scary. I ain't even penetrating wrecks til I get more equipment and training.
It's not just things that are potentially lethal. When I was 18-19 and rock climbing, I'd throw myself at the tiniest grip, confident that if I didn't make it, at least I wouldn't be beat up too bad by the fall. On several occasions I did take a good beating, but it never discouraged me from trying again.
Now, I think it over *really* good, weight my chances, and also *consider the consequences*. toejam. If I knew growing up would be like this, I'd never done it.
I suspect others have had similar experiences. To me, it is yet another proof of the remarkable way nature has constructed the human animal - around a certain age (+- some years for environment), human males are supposed to be risktakers to secure they get some offspring. Once they got those offspring however, their main task is staying alive to ensure the propogation of their genes.
Overly simplified, but it illustrates the idea.
I need to get back to my old me though. Was WAY much more fun to do potentially dangerous things when you were just about absolutely certain that you wouldn't be seriously hurt or killed doing them.
Growing up sucks.
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Hehe, StSanta. I think you've hit on the real challenge in life: watching yourself grow old, and coming face to face with your mortality. You may be able to take a chance when diving a wreck, or make that next grip, but you will never escape death. No one ever does. So, drink deeply of Life, conduct it as best you can, and relish every waking moment :)
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Heh, leonid. Am not doing terribly well with the aging thing. Am gonna turn 27 this summer.
Soon, much of the "potential" (read: dreams) will be very hard to realize. A few years more, and the chicks I can get will be more wrinkled than a Russian crackpotato crossed with a bloodhound.
I gotta realize my potential NOW. But, to do that, I need an education, and money. To get that, I need to basically do nothing but study, and have no money. But if I do that, I get even older before I can do the stuff I want, and then I might just miss my opportunity!
Am also, for the first time in my life, seeing small traces of fat that isn't strictly necessary on my body. I don't recover from hangovers quite as well, and am finding it less fun to jump in pools of water.
Ah, and soon, I'll be in the disease soon too. Hell, my body is already starting to deteriorate. Awareness of death has become an almost constant companion, but I attribute that to the shock value of not only realizing but also accepting that I'm immortal.
Oh, and age of insanity is creeping up too. Sometimes, I can feel myself pulled into very destructive, naughty thoughts that aren't very sane at all, but feel devilishly good to have.
One night stands aren't as much fun as they used to be. The thrill of the hunt is almost entirely gone, yet there is a strong sense that remaining single is probably more healthy mentally. Getting involved in a relationship would result in mental anguish - and being tied up, the very thing I want to avoid. So, that one is a no win too - cannot keep on doing what I've done until now, coz it ain't fun anymore, and cannot take the next step, because that'd limit the potential.
Besides, if you get together, or married even, with this chick - how can you keep the dream of "the perfect one" alive - even if you know it's an utter illusion?
I don't expect to live to be 75. Grandfather died just over 55 from a bad heart, and my father is at that age also struggling with heart problems. I still have a bad habit of doing impulsive things (and I hope this will reamin with me til I die).
I've lived half my life now, if I've inherited the bad heart condition thing. Half my life. The mere thought sends shrieks of terror through my body. My decaying body.
Your advice is succint and well put, and exactly what I have in mind doing. But it is the age old question of freedom vs security - if I take the liberty to do those things which add so much value to life, the very same things might take away life.
I must not become anymore careful than I am now. I must not cave in and trade experiences for security. Atheists have one shot at life, and we better make the damned best we can outta it. Man. I wish I was a theist and had the whole eternal life thing going.
Need to get experience on the market as well, so I can get hired. Must get funds so I can study the last year in the US, and thus have a good opportunity to make money. Must emigrate, or stagnate, falter and fail. But is the US the right place? I want a special kind of people around me - quite like the chaps on this BB - well educated, utterly relaxed, people who do not take themselves too seriously and aren't too interested in money for the sake of status. The impression I have of the US is that in general, the status thing is very important, as is putting yourself in a good light, always. Cannot do that, I just need to chill a lot, and call the BS when I see it. Hm.
LOL, getting carried away here. Ehm, abck to topic: how have you guys experienced fear changed with age, and how do you deal with aging?
Leonid: excellent advice :).
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Same problems here :(
Got really scared in the mountains, in the same place where I jumped like a goat 8 years ago with a 30+ kg "framed" backpack wearing soldier's kersey boots. Looked like I finaly realised that one slip can result in a broken leg, and we are 50km and 3 mountain ridges away from nearest human dwelling... I always hated "enrockments", but this time I had good boots, comfortable balanced backpack etc.
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Interesting subject. My point of view comes from the knowlege that I have a very short time to live on God's earth. You must live each day to it's fullest. You must learn something new each day to grow in wisdom. Each of us has such a short time in life and our free will will sometimes color our better judgement. However, we each learn to live with our mistakes and pick up and carry on. Basicly, you must live and experience the good and the bad in order to appreciate your own life. And yes, it is your unique life!! Noone else can live it for you. You are responsible to make your life the best that it can be. Only you have the power to be the best that you can be. Don't linger in one place mentally too long or you will become trapped forever. You must continullly move forward in all aspects of your life :)
Now I have to appreciate the good days and just live through the bad ones. I look forward to more good days then bad ones too.
Also, look at those around you a little closer then you have in the past. There are alot of people that touch your life that you currently under appreciate. It's been an eye opening experience for me since the cancer has taken affect. The people that touch our lives are very important even if it doesn't seem so at the moment!!
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Same here Santa!
Growing up a "wild thing", was great, and doing handsomehunked things on motorbikes a matter of testosterone induced macho pride.
But a couple of years demolition work cured me: Doing it for laughs is great, doing it at 06:30 on a dark and rainy november morning with a hang over and a cold sweat because for once you *don't* want to do it but have to anyway completly changes your perspective... That's how we get old :)
On the other hand, the challeges become more interlectual..the fights more cerebral. At 19, you do your best to intimidate peers into compliance, at 38 you merely take command of them, a fine but significant difference (if you can get away with it :) )
After all, there's a fairly sound reason the forces want thier grunts at around 19 years old, and their Generals at 50.
And it's not just because chicks dig older men :)
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Hey, Santa... just wait till your manly mane of hair starts falling out! You think you feel bad NOW? :D
I'm not going to go all philosophical on you... but I'll toss this out.
I turned 50 this year and I'm still having a blast. I enjoy the living sh*t out of my job, 18-year-old-Macallan still tastes great, the sight of a young Lab learning to work pheasants as one of my sons directs him still makes me smile and I still love my wife of <gasp> 26+ years.
Yeah, I'm balder and heavier than I was 30 years ago. So what?
Life's a circle; Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. I'm absolutely having a blast this "Fall". :D
My dad's in Winter by anyone's yardstick. Know what he wants for his 81st birthday in two weeks? He wants to go up in the PT-26, do a little acro and shoot a few landings. He's damn good at it still. Sounds like he's still enjoying the season.
My advice? Relax and enjoy the ride. It's different as you age but it's not necessarily worse. Live the journey!
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hmm last saturday in a restaurant a lady came to talk to me and after we danced a little she asked if I would like to spent some time with her... I said I'm not interested...
Guess I'm getting old too :confused:
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I think you are not realizing that the 'bravery/reckless abandon of youth' and absolute stupidity with a touch of blind luck are the same thing. It’s not that I was any braver when I was younger I just didn't stop to do the math. I do just as much now as I did then, I just have seen more failures and am conscious of the risks, and I put factors in to compensate (radio to call for help, let people know where I’ll be, emergency/safety supplies)
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I remember when I realized "that some day you actually gonna die",,,,,,that thought
really scared the toejam out of me,,,,,,,,,,it still does :D
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"she asked if I would like to spent some time with her... I said I'm not interested..."
A year ago I'd have jumped all over that statement ;) I must be getting slower and less confrontational these days :)
FWIW I used to have that sense of invincibility. The first thing to change was a fear of heights. As in before I never had any and now I freeze up on a ladder abover 20 feet above the ground. Hell. when I was 19 and in the US navy as an electronics technician we had to do our own antenna repair work way up on the mast and yrardarms. We were supposed to go through a lengthy and time consuming process in geting special permissions signed off as well as don a lot of safety gear. However to avoid having a ten minute turn into a two hour ordeal I used to stand at the base of the tower, look both ways and zip up there (50-100 feet up) and do the job.
Now it's a monumental effort to get above the gutters edge just two stories up let off the lader and on the roof to check the chimney cap
:eek:
Westy
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Yes Santa, you are so right about the diving thing. I also take more precautions when flying.
I see it this way: use the fear to your advantage, but dont let it overcome you. If you have the discipline to know that some things that may be dangerous but still do-able and not foolish, then you are OK. But if your refuse to do such things, then you are betraying your true nature.
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I gave up flying everyday in the Army at age 24 because I felt like I had used up all my luck. It was no longer fun for me and I actually started to get anxious about it before every flight. This was after a few mishaps...not sure if it was age or what.
Nowadays I've realized I'm no longer the 18 year old rubber boy who can bounce back from anything, but it's all good. I'm enjoying life more now than I did then. I'm a good father, husband, and son...that's what's important. Someday I will die, but I'll leave behind people whose lives I've had an impact on. It's up to me to make sure that impact is a good one.
You start out life with a full bag of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
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Originally posted by Animal:
I see it this way: use the fear to your advantage, but dont let it overcome you. If you have the discipline to know that some things that may be dangerous but still do-able and not foolish, then you are OK. But if your refuse to do such things, then you are betraying your true nature.
Exactly my philosophy. No regrets. Experience all that you can experience just for.. well.. the experience :). Get a taste of everything you can in life, that way you can relate to many different situations. By doing this, I believe you can step back from the big picture and examine yourself.. see whats wrong, whats right, and improve upon yourself as a person and a whole.
[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: Octavius ]
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Santa,
the only thing I can tell ya is: Fer shreck's sake quit worrying and go out there and enjoy yourself. If ya keep worrying about everything then you'll *be* old before you *are* old.
I'm 27, 28 in 15 days. Which makes me slightly older than you......and I consider myself in the prime of life. I'll continue to think that until I'm waaaaay past 40. Just because 1 night stands, clubbing til 5am, getting rat arsed and falling down the stairs in the cells doesnt hold any attraction any more doesnt mean I'm getting old. It just means I'm maturing.
I still play silly computer games every day (well that's how Jenga describes it anyway), I still ride a real fast motorbike like a maniac every day (usually cos I'm gonna be late for work)......but I'm also starting to appreciate the slightly less manic stuff.
I actually got home from work at 8am the other morning, looked out of the window and realised I have the best view in Holland. 8am sunday morning, not a cloud in the sky, the world so quiet I could almost hear the ice crystals forming. Would I have appreciated this quite as much 10 years ago? Prolly not.
Mellow out and enjoy life mate, we live in an astoundingly beautiful world, if you know where to look.
(http://www.swoop.com/images/logo_small.jpg)
[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: Swoop ]
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I have the exact same problems here man :(
I´m 25 and i have an hard time finding stuff thats really 'fun' anymore, every other day i have to tell myself : 'hey man dont worry! let go and dont think so much!'
When im not with an girl i want one... when i have an girl i dont want one... etc etc.
We had an Christmas party at work last friday, everyone got pissed drunk, and i could have gone home with an 20-yr old knockout (swedish girls are truly the best), but instead i got pissed drunk, sneaked out and went home alone...
I can go on for ages but this is turning into an 'i need Prozac now thread' hehe!
For me the Winter time sucks big time, i become an entire different person in the summertime...
Regards.
[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: Maniac ]
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i am fearless with chicks these days - way more than when i was younger, but of course now i'm married so the ability is wasted...
ah life's little ironies ...
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Advice to young people - do not even bother worrying about death.
By all means practice safety to prevend dying (or being seriously mangled) in an accident, but the fear of eventuall death of all age - it is the worst pitfall.
It works like that - if you live relatively full life and do all kinds of stuff, eventually you will notice that things are not as amusing anymore. You get bored by the things you loved because they become "same old...". Basically, as you age, either you are too busy to think about death, or life gradually loses interest so you do not mind dying.
Being afraid of death while still young can seruously affect your enjoyment of life while you still have many things to do that you like. I think it's called "borrowing the trouble".
miko
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Originally posted by Maniac:
(swedish girls are truly the best[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: Maniac ]
NR-1,
ahhh my old squad mate, it is painfuly obvious that you, my friend, have never been to Texas ;) They seem to coagulate here in Austin too :)
Santa,
Same thing happened to me in my mid 20's too. I haven't flown on an airplane of any kind since I was 24. I probobly flew 100 times or more before that and sat at the window and loved every take off and landing, even the rough ones (thought they were cool looking). Now you couldn't pay me $10,000 to fly anywhere. I went jet skiing this summer and learned that not only am I more scared to go wide open, but when I wipe out going 35+ mph it hurts ALOT more and takes LONGER to heal.
My main deal is that 60 doesn't seem very far to me now, and I want to make it at least 20 years past 60, so basicly I'm a popsicle now. The only thing that hasn't scared me enough to quit is cigarettes. LOL I quit cocaine 15 yrs ago.
toejam now I'm scared!
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Once upon a time doing dangerous stuff was was a powerful drug for me.. man what a thrill. Commin 'this close' was the fire and spice of life.
Then after a long while, as you total up the moments in your life that brought you to the brink; there, in the long dark hours of a sleepless night... somewhere between dawn and insomnia you hit on the truth...
Life itself is a death defying feat.
Live it! Live it LARGE! This is the rite of passage of youth.. it's mantra.
Now in the 'fall' as Toad so aptly put it, the challenges of life become more and more tempered with the responsibility of age and wisdom; your kids... the pendulum swings back; you become a tad more cautious, take fewer risks. It's time to pass the baton on to the next crowd of young lions.
But you know, you feel and you replay those 'moments' in your past and marvel...
Man; living life was grand.. IS grand. What new wonders await? It's a story without end... life is adversity and struggle; never ending tests.
Go Darwin!
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I too have grown more cautious in recent years. I keep the Harley under 120 MPH. And I have given up the practice of squeak slapping people in biker bars, just to see what they will do.
Oh! on a related note. Father time has a big bill in his hand. He is waiting to give it to you guys when you hit 50. If, like me, you have to roll out of bed on to the floor, before you can stand up in the morning. I have a cocktail that will help you get dressed without assistants from your wife. 4 ibuprofen, and 2 aspirin. It Will keep you moving.
[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: easymo ]
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From the perspective of 49, I think that part of it is just watching the body count pile up over the years. When you're 18 if you're fortunate you haven't lost many friends to any causes at all, but as the years go by you see them go by car wrecks, plane wrecks, motorcycle wrecks, drug wrecks, self-inflicted wrecks, wars and any number of diseases. It gradually dawns on you that it COULD happen to you. Still later it dawns on you that it eventually WILL happen to you, but there's no point in stacking the odds in the reaper's favor.
The wonderful thing is that, as the adrenaline urge subsides, life offers so many other pleasures to take its place (and hopefully more money to afford them). Good scotch, fine wine, good food, sunsets, pretty women (taken in moderation) etc., etc.
Did I mention good scotch?
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Tell it, Easymo! :) I now buy the LARGE size ibuprophen and aspirin... two of each every morning... lol
St.Santa, a fable for you that illustrates the proper attitude as you age:
A young bull and the father bull stand on top of a hill, looking down over the herd of cows.
Young bull: Hey Dad! Look at those cows! Lets run down there and shreck one of them!
Father bull: No son. Lets walk down there and shreck them ALL.
1776 - Thanks for the perspective <S>
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The increase in fear of death as you age is in inverse proportion to the decrease in ignorance. ;)
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...also inversley proportional to increases in aches, pains and failing senses. Add the continual ongoing loss of loved ones... and throw in a little moderate to severe pain, and it won't be long before fear of death evaporates.
For some reason, I'm reminded of that old song, "Tie me kangaroo down"
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And you tell it Gunthr. :)
Frankly, when it comes to death, I'm looking forward to the rest.
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The best thread I've read here - ever. I salute you all, and when I get home from work tomorrow, I'm drinking a guinness to every last one of you :)
Life is just as much about where you are as it is where you want to go. Don't let the one suffer for the other :)
[ 12-18-2001: Message edited by: leonid ]
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Originally posted by leonid:
I'm drinking a guinness to every last one of you :)
Leonid, I'm afraid you need to down one more Guinness for me too.
You poor sap :)
"I feel you pain" as our former grifter would say.
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Hmmm yea i kind of got more carefull with age...
i remember when i was young i used full ailerons on those paper planes and corcscrewed them rght into the ground.. now that i grew up i'm a tad bit more carefull with 13.000lb of aluminium and Jet A
:D
-> don't let AGE be a deterent to fulfill your dreams !
Cheers
Phil (DW6)
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<S!> chaps! Thanks for sharing this with me. Some great answers here, all coming from years of living. Thoughtful and intelligent answers.
Many times these truisms have struck me, but for some reason, one needs the confirmation from others before one can truly accept or appreciate them. Either one does not *want* to accept them, or accepting them seem like a hopelessly optimistic thing to do.
I shall take all answers to my heart and work to follow the advice. All advice, of course, look incredibly simple on the surface, but actually following them takes a good deal of effort, effort that will be rearded.
<S!> to everyone, really appreciate and value your answers.
Now I gotta start studying for that exam. Have pushed it away for nearly a week and the exam date is really getting closer. Still got one semester of stuff to go throguh and blah blah.
Thanks again :).
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I just enjoy scratching my nuts now.
xBAT
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It's called Wisdom! You've lived long enough to find out you don't know everything and worse yet that you aren't invincible <G> past 40 you're like a fine piece of furniture, you just found out your chest has droped to your drawers! <GGGG>
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So, drink deeply of Life, conduct it as best you can, and relish every waking moment
Live it! Live it LARGE!
How do these and other similar statements fit with how much time we all spend sitting in front of a computer screen jacked into AH?
I fear that I am wasting my life playing a game I can't quit and that all the "stories about what I did when I was young" told to my grandchildren about will be about AH. :(
anyway...
F.
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Originally posted by StSanta:
I gotta realize my potential NOW. But, to do that, I need an education, and money. To get that, I need to basically do nothing but study, and have no money. But if I do that, I get even older before I can do the stuff I want, and then I might just miss my opportunity!
StSanta,
I felt the same way. After playing on submarines for 8 years, I got out and worked my butt off for 3 years to save up for school. Then I quit work to finish the electrical engineering degree I started before I joined the Navy. I graduate at the end of this spring. I have been mostly studying with no money. Finally finishing will give me a sense of relief, but as I get closer to graduation I fail to see the point of all the time and money I wasted going back to school. My skillset is the same as it was (I had already been doing electrical engineering without the degree), only now I will have a piece of paper. What a waste of precious lifespan. That paper better result in more money because it just sucked up $30,000 I had in savings and another $6,000 in loans :mad: I would rather have bought a house, fixed up my car, and get a pilots license (which are my immediate goals upon graduation). I am 33 without a home or a wife :( GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRR :mad:
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Youth is wasted on the young.
PS. Cant quite recall who said that...H.L. Mencken perhaps.Smart guy though...
;)
kbman
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Staga I don't think it means you are getting old, it means you are turning gay.
:)
Seriously, some classics in this thread. Toad's weekly winner is in here for sure. <S> Guys.
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I remember when I was in my early twenties I kept saying to myself"I'm getting old...I'm getting old..I'm getting.."When 30 came and went it was no big deal at all.In fact it gets better and better.I try to keep in shape by jogging,cycling..etc..Feel healthier than when I was 20.Try a team sport(anything but rugby).It's way more fun going to pub after than it was a decade ago.The only thing I've really cut out are the handsomehunk high risk things like riding a motorcycle in rush hour traffic,drinking&driving,bar fights..etc.. :)Life's just like flying AH for me...Keep that "E" level happening and watch the waistline(Check Six).. :)
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Not that much has changed here (turning 32 soon), I just wish I had (took) the time to do all that sh*t I used to do...
The main thing I realised that comes with age (for me) is "regrets" (ahh if I'd gone to finish of that Phd...) and "sarcasm/bitterness"... that's a bit bothering me, but it's more a pain to the poeple around me than to myself :)
The only thing I seem to have lost is a non-ending stipid smile on my face, but I did get a little gut in return.
What Furious said is pretty true for a lot of us in here and I find THAT to be scary.
Staga... I hope she was ugly as a cow, or else... I'd start worying ;)
Santa, offer is still valid when you're done with your studies...
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Originally posted by streakeagle:
StSanta,
I felt the same way. After playing on submarines for 8 years, I got out and worked my butt off for 3 years to save up for school. Then I quit work to finish the electrical engineering degree I started before I joined the Navy. I graduate at the end of this spring. I have been mostly studying with no money. Finally finishing will give me a sense of relief, but as I get closer to graduation I fail to see the point of all the time and money I wasted going back to school. My skillset is the same as it was (I had already been doing electrical engineering without the degree), only now I will have a piece of paper. What a waste of precious lifespan. That paper better result in more money because it just sucked up $30,000 I had in savings and another $6,000 in loans :mad: I would rather have bought a house, fixed up my car, and get a pilots license (which are my immediate goals upon graduation). I am 33 without a home or a wife :( GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRR :mad:
Well, don't sweat it, guy, cause it's not too late. I was married both at 21, then at 36. The one at 21 was a bad mistake, resulting is a lot of college misery(and just plain misery too). The one at 36 is still going. It's been a lot of work, but it's been worth it. And when a month before my 42nd birthday, our son was born. He'll be 2 next month, and I gotta say, that little guy gave me a major injection of Life :) So, hang in there, and never give up ;)
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Want me to give your wife a major injection Leonid?
That one was too good to pass on.
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Originally posted by Staga:
hmm last saturday in a restaurant a lady came to talk to me and after we danced a little she asked if I would like to spent some time with her... I said I'm not interested...
Guess I'm getting old too :confused:
This man is in some serious need of a pair of beer goggles!
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(http://www.trauma.org/imagebank/neuro/images/neuro0009.jpg)
(http://www.trauma.org/imagebank/prehospital/rta/images/rta0009-t.jpg)
(http://www.trauma.org/imagebank/abdo/dcs/images/dcs0003-t.jpg)
Yeah right guys, welcome to my line of work, where high-speed car driving, diving with sucky equipment, dare-devil mountaineering and 120 mph bike rides are every-day stuff... Amongst these 20-year old daredevils you never feel old...I promise, cause the seldom get old... :D
/stomp out
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Eww Stomper..Post that stuff on roten.com plez... :(