Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Rolex on September 07, 2005, 11:37:01 PM
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On Jan. 1, 2006 a so-called leap second will be added to bring the super accurate atomic clocks into sync with the Earth's rotation. The first time correction in seven years will be made as part of the global change needed because the Earth's rotation is relatively imprecise.
In a recent interview with several members of a world renowned academic forum called The O'Club, the ramifications of this event were discussed. Dr. Kweassa presented a 300 page dissertation on the latency catastrophe this could cause for players and recommended 48 various remedies to this impending doom.
Dr. beet1e of the British delegation presented a circuitous example and analogy that this potential disaster is not unlike Airbus vs. Boeing, since he had actually been to America. The Boeing representative, Mr. Ripsnort, replied by dumping 142 tons of dissertations written by others on the members.
The members waded to another room to continue the meeting, but were continually interrupted by the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, General Gunslinger, who shared his opinions about everything in the universe since the beginning of time. Commisar Dr. Boroda made a passionate plea that the name of the leap second should be the 'Kruschev Second' since the leap second was discovered, invented, created, manufactured, perfected and idealized by Soviet scientists as tribute to the success of communism in the USSR.
Dr. lasz presented his view that the leap second was yet another example of the 'nanny state' trying to control our lives and recommended that the committee arm themselves with assault weapons to fight off the city-dwelling hoardes who will probably riot when the leap second is implimented. Dr. Beet1e and his assistant, graduate student Mr. Skydancer, and Dr. Nash of the Save the Icebear Society countered that this was yet another example of the failed leadership of the current adminstration and American society at large, foisting this cultural leap second on the global community.
They were immediately escorted out of the room and beaten senseless by a Mr. Eagler and members of "The Commmitte to Change the Constitution and Re-Elect George Bush to Halt the Threat of Euros and Lefty Liberal Leap Seconds" who had surrounded the building carrying bullhorns, placards and America flags.
Commodore Nilsen asked that an emergency stockpile of alcoholic beverages be created to minimize the danger of any hiccup in the supply chain and offered to personally manage the program.
Dr. Toad requested that all footnotes and sources quoted in all the papers presented be collated, alphabetized and investigated. The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther StarofAfrica2 pleaded for the members to please just get along and Dr. Seagoon formed a candlelight vigil outside the facility and spoke for over 8 hours, giving biblical references about the danger of the leap second distracting the faithful from the true dangers of Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, Sikhism, Catholicism, Judaism, Presbyterianism, Quakers, Latter Day Saints, Jevovah's Witnesses. Eastern Orthodoxy, Shintoism and games with church buildings.
The forum moderator, Dr. Fuzzy R. Skuzzy adjourned the meeting and did not answer reporters questions as he left the room shaking his head.
(The Rolex News Network)
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nice work !:rofl
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General Gunslinger, who shared his opinions about everything in the universe since the beginning of time
you don't get 6100 post for being "soft spoken" now do ya. :aok
good stuff:lol
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Rolex,
Bravo! :aok
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Now that was creative. Who would have thunk it? The O'Club too!
LOL!
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Excellent
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funny
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Too funny. :aok
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sure... it's funny now... it won't be so funny when the loafer wearing taxi riders come for your guns because they say the leap second negates the second amendment.
lazs
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Interesting that a guy named "Rolex" presents a potential "time problem".
I suspect his company will be offereing a very expensive solution to the problem before long.
I could document that but I just don't have time to get it all collated, alphabetized and investigated.
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well.... I don't own antyhing as inaccurate as a rolex but I do wear an allmost as bad Omega... losing seconds is trivial.. losing minutes or days is more like the standard.
lazs
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Originally posted by Toad
Interesting that a guy named "Rolex" presents a potential "time problem".
I suspect his company will be offereing a very expensive solution to the problem before long.
Rofl ;)
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LOL Toad!
This thing could be a better money maker than Y2K!
I have to sell the irrational fear first. Just think of all the potential system disasters and human toll! The expensive solution sells itself.
Oh, and lazs... you may buy yourself an Omega, but my watches are presents from grateful, satisfied and rich actresses and models... hehehe
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That was awesome Rolex!
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Not bad....LOL
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excellent...hilarious...
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Originally posted by Rolex
but my watches are presents from grateful, satisfied and rich actresses and models... hehehe
Shouldn't you call yerself Timex then?
"It takes a licking..."
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"and he keeps on D*cking"
opps might be a close call!
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"Oh, and lazs... you may buy yourself an Omega, but my watches are presents from grateful, satisfied and rich actresses and models... hehehe"
uhh... Ok then.
Somehow that spoke to the accuracy issue but it probly just went over my head. The giggling at the end was a little distrurbing tho.
lazs
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:lol
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:rofl
Extremly funny Rolex. :lol
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ROFLMAO :rofl