Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Hangtime on September 14, 2005, 06:48:10 PM
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We had a gopher problem. Seems that the little bastidge has been ripping up the poor latvian folks' garden patch behind the apartment complex.
Since I don't know latvian, and I don't garden, the on-going war of the raiding rodent vs latvians downstairs has been waged pretty much un-noticed by myself. That all changed last week when my landlord (a latvian) and good flying buddy happened to mention to me that their garden was being steadily decimated my the lil critter.
"Does this varmit have a name yet?" I enquired... "Naw" sez the landlord. "Ahhh.. ok. Allow me to offer a name for this creature, and if you don't mind, possibly I can offer my services in removing him from this world for your folks downstairs. "unnhh.. ok.. anything to get the folks off my back.. they're really batiching at me about this...."
"Well, since this pest is tenacious, repeats it's incursions with annoyingly dependable regularity and is thoroughly detested by all that encounter it, I sall name it 'Raider179'. His eyebrows went up a bit, but he failed to rise to the bait on the choice of name. Guess he knows me all too well.
This morning I brewed a big pot of coffee, propped up the back kitchen window, removed the screen and set up a cherrio box rest for my new toy.. a commie SKS 'paratrooper' 16" barrel 7.62mm varmit gun. I carefully loaded 10 rounds (being uncertain regarding the number and quality of training of my adversaries, I preferred to cover all eventualities) and sat down to wait, sipping my coffee and eyeballing the garden below with a pair of Commie binoculars.
I didn't have long to wait. Right at the end of row of tomatoes was a hole.. and sure enff, Raider179 stuck his head up. I sat down the binocs, slipped behind the SKS, lined up my shot thru the A1 Optics 42mm Red Dot scope and gently took the slack outta the trigger.
"Inhale, hold it, exhale halfway, squeeze..."
*WHAM*
This afternnon, when my buddy stopped by, I mentioned that I had a gift for his folks up in the fridge. He was somehat taken aback by the headless 3 pound 2oz Raider in a Ziplock, but offered up a big smile once he heard my explanation of how it was somehow fitting that a commie gun owned by an american 'gun nut' capitalist should liberate a commie's garden from the ravages of a liberal pest.
BTW, I just got a nice gift basket of fresh zucchini's and tomatoes from the formerly oppressed commies downstairs. I reciprocated with an old VHS copy of 'CaddyShack'. It's not dubbed in Latvian, but somehow, I don't think they'll need it translated.
;)
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You shoulda named him Thumper.. then give them a copy of Bambi.
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But I like[/i] Thumper...
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(http://images1.moviemarket.co.uk/thumbnails/120thumbs/170973.jpg)
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Hang,
You are simply awsome.
Great stuff!:D
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somehow fitting that a commie gun owned by an american 'gun nut' capitalist should liberate a commie's garden from the ravages of a liberal pest.
LMAO......that's funny :rofl :aok
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Originally posted by Hangtime
But I like[/i] Thumper...
:rofl
this thread is teh roxx0r
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He was somehat taken aback by the headless 3 pound 2oz Raider in a Ziplock,
Pure comedic gold.
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Originally posted by Hangtime
We had a gopher problem. Seems that the little bastidge has been ripping up the poor latvian folks' garden patch behind the apartment complex.
Since I don't know latvian, and I don't garden, the on-going war of the raiding rodent vs latvians downstairs has been waged pretty much un-noticed by myself. That all changed last week when my landlord (a latvian) and good flying buddy happened to mention to me that their garden was being steadily decimated my the lil critter.
"Does this varmit have a name yet?" I enquired... "Naw" sez the landlord. "Ahhh.. ok. Allow me to offer a name for this creature, and if you don't mind, possibly I can offer my services in removing him from this world for your folks downstairs. "unnhh.. ok.. anything to get the folks off my back.. they're really batiching at me about this...."
"Well, since this pest is tenacious, repeats it's incursions with annoyingly dependable regularity and is thoroughly detested by all that encounter it, I sall name it 'Raider179'. His eyebrows went up a bit, but he failed to rise to the bait on the choice of name. Guess he knows me all too well.
This morning I brewed a big pot of coffee, propped up the back kitchen window, removed the screen and set up a cherrio box rest for my new toy.. a commie SKS 'paratrooper' 16" barrel 7.62mm varmit gun. I carefully loaded 10 rounds (being uncertain regarding the number and quality of training of my adversaries, I preferred to cover all eventualities) and sat down to wait, sipping my coffee and eyeballing the garden below with a pair of Commie binoculars.
I didn't have long to wait. Right at the end of row of tomatoes was a hole.. and sure enff, Raider179 stuck his head up. I sat down the binocs, slipped behind the SKS, lined up my shot thru the A1 Optics 42mm Red Dot scope and gently took the slack outta the trigger.
"Inhale, hold it, exhale halfway, squeeze..."
*WHAM*
This afternnon, when my buddy stopped by, I mentioned that I had a gift for his folks up in the fridge. He was somehat taken aback by the headless 3 pound 2oz Raider in a Ziplock, but offered up a big smile once he heard my explanation of how it was somehow fitting that a commie gun owned by an american 'gun nut' capitalist should liberate a commie's garden from the ravages of a liberal pest.
BTW, I just got a nice gift basket of fresh zucchini's and tomatoes from the formerly oppressed commies downstairs. I reciprocated with an old VHS copy of 'CaddyShack'. It's not dubbed in Latvian, but somehow, I don't think they'll need it translated.
;)
Not bad, but You forgot to take the safety off though Chief. :lol
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when i got the gun i threw away the trigger lock, permanantly removed the saftey and got fifty 20 round boxes of 7.62x39 armor piercing ammo to spread around on every table in the place.
I then fired up the printer to whip up some flyers showing spongebob squarepants in cammo gear with an SKS hosing down mr crab with AP along with a map and directions to my door. then I spent the evening staple-gunning 'em to every telephone pole around the local elementary schol.
i do so enjoy the smell of commie gunpowder & listening to the outraged squeals of liberal twits and hyperventlating soccer moms in the mornings.
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Everyone knows if anyone is going to shoot up the Krusty Krab it would be Squidward
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Have Mercy Miss Percy!
Geeez.......one can`t help but bow in the presence of greatness. We`re not worthy.
Most excellent.
Have plenty of refreshments handy around 3:00 A.M. Raider`s heros are sure to be thirsty. :)
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Originally posted by Jackal1
Have plenty of refreshments handy around 3:00 A.M. Raider`s heros are sure to be thirsty. :)
I store my urine samples in a pitcher in the fridge marked 'lemonade'.
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as often as I have disagreed with hang I have always felt a certain kinship wth him. Perhaps it is his literary wit that does it, but whatever, the guy is just plain old fashioned smart.
nice hangT
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Originally posted by Hangtime
I store my urine samples in a pitcher in the fridge marked 'lemonade'.
LOL
Must have been a Boy Scout.
Don`t tell them that though.
"Suspect was a known member of an "militia type" organization for a undetermined period ealier in his criminal career"
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If you don't put the safety on then you don't need to take it off.
lazs
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Originally posted by Hangtime
I store my urine samples in a pitcher in the fridge marked 'lemonade'.
I thought Americans stored their urine samples in 12oz cans marked "Budweiser". :lol
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Point: Beet1e.
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Originally posted by beet1e
I thought Americans stored their urine samples in 12oz cans marked "Budweiser". :lol
Nope. We actually have real cold beer in cans in our refridgerators... unlike your side of the pond, where it's usually marked 'old engine oil' and kept in a bottle in the basement on a back shelf.
Any 'guest' of mine that helps himself to a glass of 'lemonade' deserves what he gets. On the other hand, you wierd ducks over there need to hide the good stuff...
(http://www.bibacity.co.uk/shop/files/BeersofScotland/harvoldengineoil.jpg)
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brits only drink warm beer because they have lucas refrigerators.
lazs
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I think Lazs2 gets the next point, nice use of Lucas electronics reference.
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Originally posted by Hangtime
Nope. We actually have real cold beer in cans in our refridgerators... unlike your side of the pond, where it's usually marked 'old engine oil' and kept in a bottle in the basement on a back shelf.
If ordering off a shelf, you can order something off the bottom shelf. Folks claim that the beers are cooler from that, being the "cold" shelf. The real reason is so that they can look up the barmaid's skirt as she turns and bends down to get it.
Engine oil? Nah. I'll take a pint of Dog's Bollocks. I've actually tried this beer - it was rather good!
(http://www.wychwood.co.uk/new_images/pumpclip_dogs_bollocks_2005.gif)
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"Big, Round & Fruity." :rofl
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excellent Hang..glad everything is workn fine...dam fine lookn rifle...
would of liked to seen some pics
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Great story -- one of the few BBS tales that my wife laughed at as much as I did.
PS. Do you go on the road for mole service calls?:lol