Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: SaburoS on September 23, 2005, 04:26:29 AM
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Gotta share this.
Raising Boys
a) For those with no children -- this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children but are considering it, this
is
birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
House 4
inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller
blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42-pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint
on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using
a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you
get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by
a
ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already
too
late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old
boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still
can't
walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show
they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
like
ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
without
kids.
26.) So will men. For greater edification of their brethren!
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:rofl
nice one Saburo
im so glad i got a girl
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Originally posted by SaburoS
Gotta share this.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.
LMFAO, the whole thing was funny, but that takes the cake... Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to Wal-Mart for some bleach.
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Originally posted by SaburoS
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
House 4 inches deep.
I call BS. A king size bed is approx 41.5 sq. ft. Four inches of water in a 2000 sq. ft. house means 16 feet of water in a king size waterbed. :p
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Brake fluid and Clorox does not make smoke. It does kill weeds though.
-SW
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Originally posted by AKS\/\/ulfe
Brake fluid and Clorox does not make smoke. It does kill weeds though.
-SW
Yea. If it`s powdered bleach you can blow them out of the ground.
Not something to be played with.
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Saw pictures in the fire academy of the aftermath of a brake fluid + bleach incident. It was an SUV, Yukon or Tahoe IIRC, that had been carrying some in the trunk. They somehow mixed, caught, and the whole damn vehicle went up. Quickly. As in so quickly that the dad couldn't get his two little kids out of the back seat.
The stuff is no joke.
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Maybe I did it wrong, but DOT3 Brake fluid mixed with Clorox Bleach did nothing.
-SW
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hmm I think I will have to go home and experiment with the bleach and brake fluid :). I have heard if you take a bunch of toothpaste with fluoride and dump them into a container then pour ( a certain type of swimming pool ) acid into it while keeping it sealed you will have a very crude nerve gas agent. I know that if you take a certain type of fertilizer ( won't name the type ) and some diesel oil and put the 2 next to eachother in containers, then make a small explosion that mixes and ignites both you will have a descnet sized explosive... And a crude way of making napalm, a certain type of racing fuel mixed with prell shampoo :), that stuff will burn forever.... I was a total pyro when I was a kid lol. I would love to be in charge of explosives for a demolition company or something like that, would be awesome :)
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Originally posted by AKS\/\/ulfe
Maybe I did it wrong, but DOT3 Brake fluid mixed with Clorox Bleach did nothing.
-SW
Crap, you're right. It was pool chlorine and brake fluid that did it in my previous story. Probably have to be chlorinated bleach, then.
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Drunken expurimenatitntingintitolinn tonight!
-SW
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I wonder who will be the 1st person to make this post tomorrow lol
LOST MY ARM TRYING CHLORINE / BRAKE FLUID TRICK
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Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
Hmm....I might try that.....
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not brake fluid and clorox bleach... u have to use brake fluid and chlorine ( same kind u would put in a swimming pool ) also you can open up a bucket of chlorine and put some stainless steel or aluminum foil in it, close the top back down and run like heck cause it will eventually swell up and explode...
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Originally posted by Iceman24
hmm I think I will have to go home and experiment with the bleach and brake fluid :). I have heard if you take a bunch of toothpaste with fluoride and dump them into a container then pour ( a certain type of swimming pool ) acid into it while keeping it sealed you will have a very crude nerve gas agent. I know that if you take a certain type of fertilizer ( won't name the type ) and some diesel oil and put the 2 next to eachother in containers, then make a small explosion that mixes and ignites both you will have a descnet sized explosive... And a crude way of making napalm, a certain type of racing fuel mixed with prell shampoo :), that stuff will burn forever.... I was a total pyro when I was a kid lol. I would love to be in charge of explosives for a demolition company or something like that, would be awesome :)
I think the OKC bombing incident can atest to the validity of mixing fertilizer and diesel together, if I remember correctly.
JB12
(OFFICIAL BOMB INSPECTOR: if you see me running get outta the WAY!)
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Originally posted by JB12
I think the OKC bombing incident can atest to the validity of mixing fertilizer and diesel together, if I remember correctly.
JB12
(OFFICIAL BOMB INSPECTOR: if you see me running get outta the WAY!)
:noid
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Originally posted by JB12
:noid
Skuzzy's latest creation doesnt work.
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lmao!! I quoted myself!!:rofl
next I 'll be answering myself.
Bute then again I'd just assume to have my answer as anyone elses.
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Originally posted by JB12
lmao!! I quoted myself!!:rofl
next I 'll be answering myself.
Bute then again I'd just assume to have my answer as anyone elses.
You are showing the first symptoms. Don't worry, its perfectly normal after afew months in this place.
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yes JB12 thats exactly how they did it, I didn't write the name or the specific ingredient thats in the fertilizer for a reason though lol You never know who's readin this stuff. But the fertilizer that is needed is allot harder to get nowadays, I'm sure if you wanted some you could still get it easily.... but yeah thats exactly how they did it, and if I remember correctly they just used a blasting cap as the ignition.
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It's truely amazing,however very regretful,how with all the super technology this world has.That an 8th grade science project built on a large enough scale could do as much destruction .
JB12
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oh yeah bud, its just chemicals... acids and bases.... a little of this a dash of that and bingo, got yourself a crude, but powerfull explosive
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another crude way to make napolm is to "warm" A(and I do mean warm, not boil. Deasle or gas on an electric heating element and slowly stir in stryrofoam. This will cause the gas to gell up. Put it in the fridge for a few minutes and voila napalm.
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Originally posted by Gunslinger
another crude way to make napolm is to "warm" A(and I do mean warm, not boil. Deasle or gas on an electric heating element and slowly stir in stryrofoam. This will cause the gas to gell up. Put it in the fridge for a few minutes and voila napalm.
yeah, thats how i did it in the past :D another easy thing to try is a molotov cocktail, 2/3rds petrol, and dissolve grated soap in it to make it sticky. cheap easy fireball :)
dont know whether anyone here ever tried it, but if you take ammonium hydroxide, and dissolve tons of iodine crystals in it, then filter off the sloution. paint the paste on something, and wait for it to dry. once it dries out it gets triggered by slight amounts of heat, like a bug landing on it. my favourite is putting it on the tv remote :D
it wont do much but make a loud bang, and make tons of purple smoke, but it scares the cheese outta people :lol
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I'm waiting for someone to post "how to make a nuke" lol
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Originally posted by Iceman24
I'm waiting for someone to post "how to make a nuke" lol
its just making a certain type of uranium go past critical mass...the only tricky bit is obtaining that type of uranium.
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Originally posted by Iceman24
I'm waiting for someone to post "how to make a nuke" lol
OK, take an old microwave, some Coolwhip, a few feathers, a pair of handcuffs, a rubber chicken.............
......................No wait...............nevermind. I was reading from the party recipe book. I`ll dig around for the anarchy digest later.