Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Toad on December 19, 2001, 01:54:00 PM
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Breeds of dog and their answers:
GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our
whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned out bulb?
BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not
up to code.
DACHSHUND: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
ROTTWEILER: Make me.
LAB: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I?
Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
MALAMUTE: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's
busy.
JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the
walls and furniture.
POODLE: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By
the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
HUNGARIAN PULI: Not me. Look what happened to my hair the last time I
tried.
COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the
dark.
DOBERMAN PINSCHER: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
BOXER: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
CHIHUAHUA: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
IRISH WOLFHOUND: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover . .
POINTER: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there . . . .
GREYHOUND: It isn't moving. Who cares?
AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little
circle . . . .
OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light
bulb.
HOUND DOG: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zz.
CAT: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So
the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?
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Hehe, that Border Collie one is right on the mark. Those are some smart assed dogs.
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Exactly why I loved my old black lab.
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What would a German Shepard say?
"Ve have vays of making YOU change ze lightbulbs?"
I have always had Sheps....fantastic animals. I am still in mourning over the loss of my last one...sniff :(
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I had a wonderfull black german shep for 13 years.
But the best dog breed is a Boxer - playfull even in the old age, infinitely patient with children (probably safest breed to have around children) but vicious protector, very smart - though requiring a strong hand due to exess exuberance.
And of course the most beautifull and gratious dog of all.
miko
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Hehe.. a German Shepard would say "Changing a lightbulb is your job... its my duty to make sure nobody comes near you while you do it."
AKDejaVu
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DALMATIAN: I don't get it. Would it help if we go for a run?
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I think a German Shepherd would really say "That lightbulb was obviously undermodeled. It only lasted 10,000 hours and it should last 15,000 hours." :)
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Amen. Boxers are THE best breed. Btw, Cross a Boxer with a Labrador and you'll get a BEAUTIFUL dog. Im serious, that mix results in a fricken LARGE, heavy, very playful and smart dog. The only drawback seems to be the bone structure, its not exactly up to the job of supporting the weight.. but if you have a boxer (f) and a lab (m) with a pedigree of strong bones, and you want another dog, do breed them.
Dalmatians would say: "Dont! Im still chewing on the sandals!!"
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Amen Brothers, I've had 3 Boxers and they are easily the best dogs I've EVER had :)
My current one, named Katrina aka "Kat", just turned one year old. And though she is small for a boxer (about 50lbs so far) she has the best personality and is the most intelligent.
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If we are getting into "Best Breed" discussions... I have to go with Labs.
I have 3 mutts, my neighbors have German Shepards, Golden Retrievers and Great Danes. My parents had a boxer. All are great dogs in good homes.
The dog that stands out from the rest is one that my Mother-in-Law inherited with the house they bought up on the mountain (Mt. Hood.. Zigzag area)... a Yellow Lab. The dog is known in the community as "Luke that fought the bear". It has (had) tangled with a brown bear, a cougar and more than a few other beasts and come away strutting. The dog had one of the most mellow demeanors I've ever seen except when it came down to buisness. He was also the ladies man. When we went over to visit on the holidays, there would always be 5 or 6 female dogs sitting on the front porch waiting for him to come out. It was fricking hilarious. He was quite simply the coolest dog I've ever known.
AKDejaVu
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I think the cat has the best grasp regarding whos job it is to maintain the lighting :)
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WESTIE: I'll lick it for yah if you change it.
CAT: Screw you; bozo, I can see just fine in the dark.
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My Black Lab could catch a frisbee on the fly every time at 20+ yards....she was amazing. I couldn't throw a rock that far today :( .
I once had a VERY cool dog that was 1/2 Sharpei and 1/2 Golden Retriever. Looked like a Pit bull in the body, with a labish head and face. Had a Golden's temperment too. Could almost pass for a yellow lab.
Poor guy was the escape artist from hell, and when I moved from the country to the city he couldn't handle the walls.
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Labs are great dogs but once they grow up, they become much less playfull then they were as puppies - like most other dog.
I knew scores of dogs and most were pretty hard to induce to play after a year and a half.
The boxer, on the other hand, will come to you and demand that you play/run with him/her even when old - every day, several times. You need a lot of energy if you want to own a boxer.
I used to use an RC car to exercise mine without exhausting myself but now he learned to catch it in no time and turn it over. Have to get a faster model...
miko
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We had a lab years back and she was great. The stupidest dog we ever had was a show bloodhound.
I'd say the smartest dog ive ever owned was a kelpie(do you have kelpies in the US??). Ours sat like a human if we let him inside(i mean on his butt with legs over the edge of the chair, very funny), could drink from a bottle, did every thing we taught him and was a great pal. He wanted to play 24/7 and would do so if you let him. I could hear him playing late at night long after id gone to bed. Sadly he died very young(8) of bowel cancer, funny thing is, after he had a major operation he came straight home and wanted to run and play. I'm feeling a bit sad now, better stop :(.
The kelpie X we got at the same time as him is still alive and moved to darwin with my parents. He is easily the dumbest dog ive ever owned. And one of the funniest.
If you ever get the chance to buy kelpies in the US, please go have a look at them. You cant go wrong.
[ 12-19-2001: Message edited by: Gavor ]
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Labs are great dogs but once they grow up, they become much less playfull then they were as puppies - like most other dog.
Hmmm.. I haven't noticed anything particular outstanding about boxers in this area. I have one dog that's more playfull at 11 than my parent's boxer was at 5. I have another dog (fatass) that has done nothing but lay around since he was 6 months. I guess the boxer fits into the middle there somewhere.
So do labs.
AKDejaVu
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Never heard of a Kelpie. Is that short for something? I am looking for my next dog, been a while since the last one.
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No, they're one of the only recognised australian breeds. Kelpie is the full name. They come in black, tan, blue and probably other colors. Maybe brown.
I'l try to scrounge up some info for you.
.
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And here it is
Kelpies (http://www.wwwins.net.au/dog/kelpie.html)
If you can find a pure tan kelpie have a look, they look like dingoes.
[ 12-19-2001: Message edited by: Gavor ]
[ 12-19-2001: Message edited by: Gavor ]
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Originally posted by 1776:
I think the cat has the best grasp regarding whos job it is to maintain the lighting :)
i agree but only in a different way
cat: change the light bulb when you want, you slave who is the bringer of food and changer of litter box. i can see in the dark just fine. oops you rammed your toe into the night table again...please try to keep your screaming down after you hurt yourself, im trying to sleep.
[ 12-19-2001: Message edited by: loser ]
[ 12-19-2001: Message edited by: loser ]
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Different take
CAT: What are you doing up there idiot, come down here and pat me or feed me or something important. At least sit down so i can sit on you. That light things not important, look at me. Me me me.
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Gavor.. yer cat's in heat.
;)
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Ak. Get it away.
I'm staying up this ladder.
:D
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No need to worry Gavor.. if your cat's in heat its a female. Its pretty difficult for it to "assault" you. And its important to remember that virtually any court of law knows that, so don't ever try to use it in your defense.
AKDejaVu
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Whos been spreading rumors about me and my cat? I love my cat and it loves me... Hrm, prolly not the line to open with in my defence.
Dear judge, i was climbing a ladder and i was wearing no pants when i slipped and fell. And thats how it happened.
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A Bull Terrier would probably say:
"Nah dude.. hehe go get the bong.. then lets swim on the pool"
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Originally posted by Toad:
LAB: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I?
Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the
dark.
aint that the truth.
i got a lab that wont stop.
and a cocker spaniel that wont stop pissin on the floor
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Labs are the best. Extremely playful when young, very mature, patient, intelligent, tolerating <add other good things> when old.
Our old lab died a few months back. It's odd how attached you become to such an animal.
A lab is what I'll be getting.