Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: SFRT - Frenchy on November 22, 2005, 06:04:13 PM
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I have to hook up the turkey thing, I better ask to locals how to do the bird.
So ... what is the proper way to prepare/cook the birdie so my guests don't call INS and get me deported?
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Serve it raw, like every else is served in France :p
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here's one (http://hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=165176)
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To be honest, I've never had to cook one. My speciality is wild game, like Goose.
However, I found this:
http://hgic.clemson.edu/factsheets/HGIC3560.htm
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Making a turkey is really not a big deal.
Make sure you buy a big one (they cook better and have lots of white meat to go around) even it you don't need all the meat. Small ones tend to overcook faster and can dry out quickly if you do not watch them closely.
If it is frozen put it in the fridge the day before and let it slowly defrost overnight. If it is still slightly frozen in the morning take it out early and put it in the cold oven to continue to defrost.
Make your stuffing. Lots of recipes out there. Just buy some good bread, you can use any type but cut off the crusts. Cube the bread into half inch sized cubes. Now you can get creative. Sage is the spice to add to stuffing but use fresh sage and chop it very fine. People add all sorts to things. Fruit, sausage, burbon, you can search for a good recipe and customize it yourself.
Once you have the turkey thawed clean it. Read how to do this (no secrets here and it is in most cook books so no need to type it all out).
Stuff the turkey with the dressing and sew up the the cavity. You can stuff the neck end and the back end both.
The big secret to cooking in the oven is to continually baste the bird. Every half hour or so. Use the pan juices (oh yeah when you buy the bird make sure you have a pan big enough for it.)
Follow the time necessary for the size of the bird.
Make sure you have a big and very sharp knife for the carving. Nothing ruins a great bird more than using a dull knice or a small knife to carve it. If you don't have one buy one. Forget those cheap Walmart knifes. Go to a high end food store and spend a good 75 to 100 one one. You will have it for the rest of your life, money well spent. Get a sharping steel while you are at it.
Sorry this is so general but I don't follow any receipe, I change what I do each time I cook one but they always turn out fine.
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Go to your local supermarket and order a pre-cooked bird.
Its the way a guy is supposed to cook :)
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Habu, that geeky guy on the Food Network says that basting the bird is not only a waste of time, it dries it out from you opening and closing the door all the time.
Thats what he said. :)
Marinate and inject. Then deep fry the sucker. Yeah. Deep frying can even make twinkies taste good. It does incredible things to turkey. :)
Did I mention that deep frying is good?
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Can you stuff the turkey with a chicken and stuff the chiken with a pigeon and put an egg inside the pigeon?
I bet that would suprise the guests - a babushka bird. :)
Bozon
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Deep-fry it !
That's what everyone does in Texas. :aok
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First and most important thing...make sure you get it NOW, and make sure you start defrosting it with enough time to finish before cooking. Nothing worse than waking up on Thanksgiving morning and realizing you've got a frozen turkey. Oh, and just to be easy, get one with the pop-up thermometer.
Second, get lots of chicken or turkey broth, as it always comes in handy.
Take it out of the wrapper. Reach in the bird's butt and pull out the sack containing the innards and either toss 'em, or set them aside. Put the turkey under running water and just rinse it off, inside and out, then pat it dry with some paper towels. Stick it in a disposable aluminum foil pan (unless you have or want to buy a real one), and if you want to stuff it, now's the time.
For stuffing, just get some pre-packaged stuffing breadcrumbs...you'll find these in any and every grocery store around the holidays. I prefer the stuff with herbs and crumbs instead of cubes. Follow the directions on the package, withholding a little of the water/broth...add broth to suit your tastes for how dry you like it, but keep in mind that any you stuff into the bird will pick up moisture in there, so put it in a little dryer than you like it. To add some flavor, you can whip out the sack 'o' innards, and toss everything but the liver and kidneys into a small pot of boiling water until they're thoroughly cooked, then pull out the neck and set it aside, and put the rest in the blender until it's well chopped and use that in place of water/broth. Don't smell this mixture, and don't let any delicate-types see you doing this or they might gag and cry...the end result is goodness though.
Stuff the bird, but don't pack it in too tightly. Put a couple of cups of water in the bottom of the pan to help with gravy production and to keep the drippings from burning and smoking. Melt some butter, and add in some fresh herbs, and brush it on the bird (optional, but yummy). If you're using a cheapie foil pan without a lid, put some foil over the bird...stick some toothpicks in the bird to keep the foil off the skin, so it doesn't stick to the foil. Cook it according to the directions on the package. Baste it every hour or so (or don't, whatever). Pull the cover off for the last 30 minutes of cooking to get the skin nice and browned. Let the bird sit for ten or twenty minutes before carving it up.
Make gravy with the drippings...use a new pan, or just use the pan you cooked the bird in, and set it across a couple of burners...cheapie foil pans don't work well for this though. You might wanna use a baster to suck up any excess grease/oil/butter off the top of the drippings...or you might not. Get it hot enough to boil, and KEEP STIRRING. Mix some corn starch or flour with some water to make a thich roe, and mix it in with the drippings a little at a time. Keep stirring until it gets to gravy thickness. Have bottled gravy as a backup - depending on what kind, it's actually not that bad.
Don't forget the corn. Corn is important, and corn is goodness. You should have lots of it.
Also, buy real cranberries, and make real cranberry sauce. They'll have directions on the package...it's simple if you pay attention, and well worth it.
Finally, eat until you feel like you're about to die. Then, continue eating until you pass out...try to stay leaning forward when you're near the point of going under, 'cause it'd be embarassing to choke to death on the food that's in your mouth when you pass out.
After Thanksgiving...Turkey Sammiches!
Just remember - it's not rocket science, it's just cooking a friggin' turkey. Even if you mess up, it'll still be good.
Underdone is solved by more cooking.
Overdone is solved by more gravy.
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Ya dont forget the plastic bag inside that contains the organs. Kinda ruins the bird if you forget to remove it.
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Basting it every hour doesn't work... the trick is to to marinate it properly and place bacon on top of the turkey to seal the moisture within while adding some more of its own (including taste and cholesterol).
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Deep Fry it.....get a Marinaide INJECTOR and INJECT the stuff directly into the bird. Then Deep Fry it in peanut oil. It's 10 times quicker and the turkey tasts SOOOOOOOO much better.
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Originally posted by Delirium
Basting it every hour doesn't work... the trick is to to marinate it properly and place bacon on top of the turkey to seal the moisture within while adding some more of its own (including taste and cholesterol).
This man is wise, and bacon is good. Basting it adds flavor to the skin, but I doubt it adds anything in the way of moisture.
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Originally posted by Gunslinger
Deep Fry it.....get a Marinaide INJECTOR and INJECT the stuff directly into the bird. Then Deep Fry it in peanut oil. It's 10 times quicker and the turkey tasts SOOOOOOOO much better.
It IS good, but you've got to get yourself a deep fryer, propane canister, etc. I can't argue the thought that it's still worth it though...but I still prefer my Thanksgiving bird to come out of the oven.
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Deep frying is THE way to do it, and no, it is NOT greasy.
Unfortunately... the wife wants to do something different this year (we've been deep frying for years) so we're roasting again. This time, we're gonna try a brine.
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Originally posted by SOB
It IS good, but you've got to get yourself a deep fryer, propane canister, etc. I can't argue the thought that it's still worth it though...but I still prefer my Thanksgiving bird to come out of the oven.
I get to deepfry for christmas this year because we are eating at the sister-in-laws. My deep fryer only costed about $35, I allready had the propane. The expensive part was the oil.
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For the last few years I've been keeping the foil tent on til the last hour or 45 minutes then basting like a madman. Also, instead of water in the pan I use chicken broth and a couple of sticks of butter and the bird itself gets olive oil and salt and pepper on the outside. Of course the drippings make good gravy.
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don't deep fry - go to KFC if that is what you want and save the mess
large birds take overnight, smaller ones you can bake thanksgiving day
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I can tell you've never had a deep fried turkey, Eagler. It shows pretty clearly.
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Originally posted by Chairboy
I can tell you've never had a deep fried turkey, Eagler. It shows pretty clearly.
I had someones attempt on year
just old school here .. I could say you haven't had a good baked bird with fantastic dressing .. but I won't :)
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I call shenanigans.
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Originally posted by Eagler
I had someones attempt on year
just old school here .. I could say you haven't had a good baked bird with fantastic dressing .. but I won't :)
I'm with ya Eagler (wow, that seemed unnatural to say), I dig the baked bird with grandma's stuffing for Thanksgiving, but you shouldn't let someone's failed attempt color your opinion of a fried bird. We've done fried turkeys for New Years the last couple of years, and they're simply fantastic. Not greasy, most definitely NOT KFC, just tender, juicy, and flavorful...unless you overheat the oil or something.
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Originally posted by Chairboy
I call shenanigans.
Cheeky & Fun, or Eeeeevil shenanigans?
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I'm going to pistol whip the next guy to say shenanigans.
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Originally posted by SOB
Cheeky & Fun, or Eeeeevil shenanigans?
To clarify, I don't think that Eagler has actually HAD a deep fried turkey. I think that his language of describing it as an 'attempt' is part of a standard technique of evasion when confronted where the person tries to set up the stage for a graceful "Oh, I didn't realize it wasn't representative" to deflect assertions that they confabulated. Basic anthropology stuff here.
Do tell us the details, Eagler. I think you're an upstanding guy, and I don't think you'll ride this thing to the ground. Fess up.
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Buy a fifth of Austin Nichols Wild Turkey and order a pizza (or make Chateaubriand, and replace every use of cognac with Wild Turkey from a separate bottle). Drink the bourbon with the meal, and refer to the dinner before during and after as a "Turkey Dinner".
If you want to be fancy, get 86 proof WIld Turkey as well as the canonical 101, and ask your guests if they'd "prefer white or dark meat."
Oh and bozon, that exists. Google TurDuckEn
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If you are the one making it then go to the supermarket and buy the whole dinner thing.
If you are not the one... just sit down and eat. either way... let the women do all that stuff.
lazs
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Originally posted by SOB
I'm with ya Eagler (wow, that seemed unnatural to say), I dig the baked bird with grandma's stuffing for Thanksgiving, but you shouldn't let someone's failed attempt color your opinion of a fried bird. We've done fried turkeys for New Years the last couple of years, and they're simply fantastic. Not greasy, most definitely NOT KFC, just tender, juicy, and flavorful...unless you overheat the oil or something.
from what I've read it's more of underheating the oil. I can't remember the exact temp but when you drop a cold bird in the fryer it drops the temp of the oil down (that's why it's important to heat a few degrees above cooking temp)
At a certain temp the skin of the bird will actually start absorbing the oil resulting in a greasy turkey.
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Originally posted by RedDg
Deep-fry it !
That's what everyone does in Texas. :aok
Not everyone. Agreed fryed turkey is tastey, but IMO the smoker is the ONLY way to go. Got two big ugly birds who will meet Mr. Hickory in a few hours. Mmmmmmmm................mmmmm mmmmmmmmmm............MMMmmmm mmmm. :)
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Hey thanks!
Deep frying is out of the question.
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Originally posted by SFRT - Frenchy
Hey thanks!
Deep frying is out of the question.
you may want to consider this option. fry it in peanut oil and you will be well pleased.
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damn, it's always fun when it explodes.
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Originally posted by RedDg
Deep-fry it !
That's what everyone does in Texas. :aok
Not everyone. I did the deep fry thing last year, but I still prefer smoked. Already got one in the smoker (24lbs).
If you are doing the oven things, make sure to set the temperature to 325F and no lower. An 18lb bird, with stuffing, will take about 6 hours at that temp to be ready.
The simplest is to take some butter (the real stuff), smear the outsides of the bird with it. Stick it in the over until the skin is a slight brownish, then smear more butter on it, cover it, and bake.
Be sure to let it sit about 15 minutes after pulling it from the oven.
I have all types of fancy recipes for them, but if this is yor first bird, take it slow and simple.
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A bagged and injected turkey will be very moist and tasty, but you gotta be careful or it'll come out looking like you just boiled it in turkey broth.
Lots of turkeys come with basic cooking instructions right on the wrapping or on a card included with the turkey. Some turkey injection kits (used for injecting flavors deep into the meat for more flavor) also have cooking suggestions. If you decide to bag the turkey (cooking it in a plastic bag inside the oven) the bag also should have directions.
Just going to the store, finding turkey related items, and looking at the packaging can be very educational. Everything turkey related has some recipie and directions that say if you buy this other thing or ingredient right over there then you can cook it this particular way. They're basically giving you instructions that require you to use their brand of ingredients. Get a few of these recipies and instructions together and you can get an idea of how a turkey should be cooked without the marketing spin, and make your own recipie.
For myself, I just get a duck and cook it the simple way. I take out the guts stuffed inside the duck, then smear seasoning salt all over the outside and inside. Stick it in the oven at 400 (if I recall correctly) and cook for a couple of hours until a meat thermometer stuck into the breast comes out at the magic "poultry is done" number (can't remember what temp thou, have to look it up tomorrow). It comes out crispy and tasty and is a very simple process. Gotta remember to poke holes in the skin of the duck (only the skin, not the meat) because duck is very fatty, but that's not a problem with turkey.
My Dad used to do pretty much the same thing with turkey but he'd use butter/margarine instead of just salt, and for the first couple of hours he'd have the turkey covered with a tinfoil "tent" which helps keep the meat from drying out. Then for the last 30 min, he'd take off the tent which crips up the skin and gives some of the outer meat a nice crispy texture for your guests who like the meat that way.
If you do the frying thing, remember that both the oil and the turkey have to fit in the fryer, so don't fill the fryer up with oil or you'll get a neat explosion and a fun trip to the hospital after your friends/family stop screaming (or pointing/laughing).
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...and for the love of pete, don't deep fry it indoors. Laugh'a while you can, monkey boy, it happens every year. My sister just sent me an article where some marmalade heads deep fried a turkey a couple days ago in the garage of their newly constructed home to celebrate their build effort.
They're staying with family this thanksgiving.
Here are the safety tips I sent her based on experience, if I'm missing anything, jump in:
Basic safety:
1. Locate it on a level, stable, non-flammable surface far from any
overhangs or structures.
2. Extinguish the flame while putting in the turkey, then light it
again afterwards.
3. Use a fully thawed bird.
4. Gently lower the bird into the oil using a hanger or device that
allows you to stay clear of splatter. This may take a minute or more.
We usually have two people holding a wooden rod horizontally that the
turkey hangs from so we can stay away and don't get tired.
5. Monitor your temperature. For it to taste good, it needs to stay
hot, but you don't want to hit the smoke point or else you'll have a
fire.
6. Make sure your hook mechanism for retrieving the bird will not be
obstructed, assume you won't be able to see it in the oil (so make
sure that it's big and easy to grab with a metal hook).
7. Don't try to drain the oil until many hours later, it takes a long
time to cool.
8. NEVER move the pot of oil once it has been heated. Wait for it to cool.
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turducken...
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Im pretty sure that I heard something along the lines that ButterBall has a hotline where when called they can help you out of any fix.
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Originally posted by Chairboy
To clarify, I don't think that Eagler has actually HAD a deep fried turkey. I think that his language of describing it as an 'attempt' is part of a standard technique of evasion when confronted where the person tries to set up the stage for a graceful "Oh, I didn't realize it wasn't representative" to deflect assertions that they confabulated. Basic anthropology stuff here.
Do tell us the details, Eagler. I think you're an upstanding guy, and I don't think you'll ride this thing to the ground. Fess up.
I tried it once, My brother in law made it - it was gross
he cooked it outside and it was gross - that's all the details I can recall
I am sure a properly made one would taste better, i don't think it could taste any worse :)
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Ah Ha... Blame it on the in-laws. Standard tap-dance response if I ever saw one. Tell me, did Boooosh make him do it? :)
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Originally posted by eagl
Ah Ha... Blame it on the in-laws. Standard tap-dance response if I ever saw one. Tell me, did Boooosh make him do it? :)
Hey Eagl,
Do you guys have friday off?
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Yea, Friday is a down day. Almost unexpectedly, since every time we give people more than a 2 day weekend we get DUIs like crazy.
We had something like 120 days without a DUI but then we had the vets day 3 day weekend, and sure enough 2 DUIs. Retards. It's like the single highest emphasis in the USAF, gets more of our training time than weapons or chem warfare training, and still people go out, drink, and drive. That means that in the next year I'll probably have to waste 30 hours of my life listening to commanders blah blah about how DUIs are bad, or I'll have to give those same briefings, and still some morons will go out and get DUIs. Getting a DUI has a worse career impact than dropping a 2000lb bomb on a mosque or innocent house (oopsie!) but still people do it.
So yea, we have the day off but a few retards are going to make everyone pay for their stupidity. The lost man-hours alone are going to cost the USAF millions of dollars in lost work when we all get to spend an hour listening to briefings about the idiots who got DUIs or wrecked their cars over the holiday.
It's no wonder why Lakenheath has only 2 4-day weekends planned for FY 2006...
Er... Sorry for the rant. I'm a bit disgruntled about the whole thing.
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Originally posted by eagl
Yea, Friday is a down day. Almost unexpectedly, since every time we give people more than a 2 day weekend we get DUIs like crazy.
We had something like 120 days without a DUI but then we had the vets day 3 day weekend, and sure enough 2 DUIs. Retards. It's like the single highest emphasis in the USAF, gets more of our training time than weapons or chem warfare training, and still people go out, drink, and drive. That means that in the next year I'll probably have to waste 30 hours of my life listening to commanders blah blah about how DUIs are bad, or I'll have to give those same briefings, and still some morons will go out and get DUIs. Getting a DUI has a worse career impact than dropping a 2000lb bomb on a mosque or innocent house (oopsie!) but still people do it.
So yea, we have the day off but a few retards are going to make everyone pay for their stupidity. The lost man-hours alone are going to cost the USAF millions of dollars in lost work when we all get to spend an hour listening to briefings about the idiots who got DUIs or wrecked their cars over the holiday.
It's no wonder why Lakenheath has only 2 4-day weekends planned for FY 2006...
Er... Sorry for the rant. I'm a bit disgruntled about the whole thing.
we were supposed to get friday as a goal day but had a DUI as well and missed it by like 5 points. I didn't go to work today cause I'm on quaters but the only way we were getting friady off is if the CIC grants it off to all federal employees. Maybe I'll call the swing shift to see. I can't stand these retards to don't know how to call for a ride.
EDIT: Yup we're working friday. Kinda sucks for the mait folks because I doubt there's flying going on. That means all the squadrons are going to want to play catch up before the weekend. :(
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Yea, any "free" work days are going to be fully utilized. We have a number of non-flying work days due to UK holidays that are not US holidays, so we have to work but can't fly. That means extra training so we don't have to waste any other flying days doing non-flying training stuff.
For MX, it usually means another day turning wrenches, but MX is in such a bad state that they're working weekends anyhow, so it's just business as usual.
I'd like to shoot the bastard who coined the phrase "doing more with less"... That tard single-handedly made life hell for untold millions of people. I got to play finance officer today as I filed 2 travel vouchers for my own TDY and leave. There used to be an expert who handled such things, but nowadays I'm expected to know everything about finance and vouchers and stuff like that. It's an entire career field, but as an officer I'm on a salary not an hourly wage, so it's just whinging when I bring up the fact that my 10 hr day just got extended to 12 hours because I spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to file a travel voucher. There used to be a single page of paper I'd fill out and hand to an expert to file, and that was that. But now I get to be a finance officer too, and every minute I spend re-learning how to be a finance officer gets added to my duty day since my other work doesn't decrease just because I have to spend a few hours doing work that used to be done by support personnel. So on the day before Thanksgiving when everyone else left work at 1500 hrs, I was at work until 1700 because I got to play amature finance officer and that meant I had to put off my real work until later, but still get it done before the long weekend.
And I'll probably work this weekend, because every day I stay at home I have more work to do, even on weekends. I could say f**kit and just not do the work 'cause I'm leaving in 2 months and it'll be someone else's problem, but I'm not that sort of guy so I'll kill myself making sure my replacement isn't hung out to dry when I disappear. Doing more with less... ptui.
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Microwave it, like everything else in frances territories :D
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How can we microwave when we don't even have discovered Electricity yet?
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If you decide to deep fry it be sure you have something that will kill an oil fire and i'm dead serious on that. If something goes wrong and it catches fire, well bye bye turkey, but it could also we something more important.
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Deep fried is pretty good, did that two years ago. Someone said the oil is expensive, and they would be correct.
I think I like smoked the best, though traditional cooking is also great and fills the house with that awesome smell.......they're all good.
Good luck with the bird Frenchy.
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Originally posted by SFRT - Frenchy
How can we microwave when we don't even have discovered Electricity yet?
Just use one of them 'test' nukes :D