Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: gear on January 17, 2006, 02:13:58 PM
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A Flying students' diary..
Week 1
Monday: Rain
Tuesday: Rain
Wednesday: No rain; no visibility either
Thursday: Take instructor to lunch. Discover I don't know enough to take instructor to lunch.
Friday: Fly! Do first stall and second stall during same maneuver. Cover instructor with lunch.
Week 2
Monday: Learned not to scrape frost off Plexiglas with ice-scraper. Used big scratch as marker to set pitch.
Tuesday: Instructor wants me to stop calling throttle "THAT BIG KNOB THING." Also hates when I call instruments "GADGETS"
Wednesday: Radios won't pick up radio stations, so I turned them off. Instructor seems to think I missed something.
Thursday: Learned 10 degree bank is not a steep turn. Did stall again today. Lost 2000 feet. Instructor said that was some kind of record -- my first compliment.
Friday: Did steep turn. Instructor said I was not ready for inverted flight yet.
Week 3
Monday: Instructor called in sick. New instructor told me to stop calling her "BABE". Did steep turns. She said I had to have permission for inverted flight.
Tuesday: Instructor back. He told me to stop calling him "BABE", too. He got mad when I pulled power back on takeoff because the engine was to loud.
Wednesday: Instructor said after the first 20 hours, most students have established a learning curve. He said there is a slight bend in mine. Aha--progress!
Thursday: Did stalls. Clean recovery. Instructor said I did good job. Also did turns around a point. Instructor warned me never to pick ex-fiancee’s house as point again.
Friday: Did circuit work. Instructor said that if downwind, base and final formed a triangle, I would be perfect. More praise!
Week 4
Monday: First landing at a controlled field. Did fine until I told the captain in the 747 ahead of us on the taxiway to move his bird. Instructor says we'll have ground school all this week on radio procedures.
Tuesday: Asked instructor if everyone in his family had turned grey at such an early age. He smiled. We did takeoff stalls. He says I did just fine but to wait until we reached altitude next time. Three Niner Juliet will be out of the shop in three days when the new strut and tyre arrive. Instructor says his back bothers him only a little.
Wednesday: Flew through clouds. I thought those radio towers were a lot lower. I'm sure my instructor is going grey.
Thursday: Left flaps down for entire flight. Instructor asked way. I told him I wanted the extra lift as a safety margin. More ground school.
Friday: Asked instructor when I could solo. I have never seen anyone actually laugh until they cried before
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LOL Gear, that was funny.
Lambo
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Thanks, that's funny.
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Student Pilot: "I'm lost; I'm over a lake and heading toward the big E."
Controller: "Make several 90 degree turns so I can identify you on radar."
(short pause)...
Controller: "Okay then. That lake is the Atlantic Ocean. Suggest you turn to
the big W immediately ..."
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Hahahahahahahahahaha
thanks, if you got more, keep 'em coming, babe
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Gear, I am in Sacramento as well, Please, let me know your flight schedule so that I might take proper shelter.
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Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles.”
Delta 351: “Give us another hint. We have digital watches.”
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Originally posted by gear
Student Pilot: "I'm lost; I'm over a lake and heading toward the big E."
Controller: "Make several 90 degree turns so I can identify you on radar."
(short pause)...
Controller: "Okay then. That lake is the Atlantic Ocean. Suggest you turn to
the big W immediately ..."
This joke is not compatible with my side of the Atlantic ;)
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ok just revers the heading:aok
While cruising at thirty thousand feet, the airplane shuddered. A passenger looked out the window. "Good lord!" he screamed. "One of the engines just blew up!"
Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side.
The passengers were in a panic now, and even the flight attendants couldn't maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about.
His words and his demeanor seemed to make most of the passengers feel better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seats and began handing them to the flight attendants.
Each crew member attached the package to his or her back.
"Say," spoke up an alert passenger, "aren't those parachutes?"
The pilot said they were.
The passenger went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?"
"There isn't," replied the pilot as the third engine exploded. "We're going to get help."
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A Solo Student Pilot:
Tower:
"Aircraft on final, go around, aircraft on runway."
Student:
"Roger" (Continues descent.)
Tower:
"Aircraft, GO AROUND"
Student:
"Roger" (Continues descent.)
Tower:
(Screaming) "AIRCRAFT, GO AROUND!!"
Student:
"Roger" (Continues descent.)
So, the student pilot plunks his airplane down on the numbers, taxies up to where the twin is sitting in the middle of the runway, GOES AROUND it, and continues on to the taxiway.
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True Story related to me by an ex-Qantas pilot (well, its true that he related it to me) on how he lost his job many years ago.
One day after a particularly severe bender the night before, he and the flight engineer came out of the cockpit carrying two long lengths of string. They handed the ends to the passengers in the first row on the left and right sides of the aisle and said: "Look, we're just gonna have a bit of a lie-down in the back, hold that string tight and whatever you do, don't let go or we're all done for."
Then they wandered off to the back leaving the passengers holding on for dear life (the copilot was flying of course - but they didn't know that). They thought this was uproariously funny. The airline apparently didn't.
- SEAGOON
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This stuff is killing me.
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http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=168996&referrerid=3203