Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Seagoon on February 14, 2006, 02:18:41 PM

Title: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: Seagoon on February 14, 2006, 02:18:41 PM
Ok, It's probably because I'm a deranged frequent reader of Scrappleface.Com, but I got a guffaw out of the last paragraph of this, particularly the line about MREs...

February 14, 2006
Bill Lifts Ban on Gay, Fat or Pregnant Troops
by Scott Ott


(2006-02-14) — The sponsor of a House bill to lift the ban on homosexuals in the military said today that he would add a provision removing the bans on overweight and pregnant troops as well.

Rep. Martin Meehan, D-MA, released a report today showing that the military’s ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy has resulted in 9,501 people leaving the service during a 10-year period due to their alleged homosexuality, wasting roughly $364 million in training investments and other costs.

During that same time, 36,513 people separated from the service for failing to meet weight standards, and 26,446 left during pregnancy.

The Government Accounting Office (GAO) estimated the cost of losing 62,959 troops who were either pregnant or overweight at $2.4 billion.

“The military desperately needs recruits, and we’re rejecting patriotic Americans because of irrelevant lifestyle choices,” said Rep. Meehan, a member of the House Armed Services Committee who sponsored the bill to lift the bans. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ has failed for homosexuals, and it would not work for fat or pregnant troops either because their lifestyle choices are even more obvious. One way or the other, they’re coming out.”

The Pentagon opposes lifting the bans, which it says are necessary to maintain morale and order in combat.

“When you’re in a foxhole,” said an unnamed Pentagon spokesman, “you don’t have time to think about whether the soldier next to you is fond of you, or if he might eat your MRE, or possibly go into labor. In a life or death situation, you can’t have distractions like that.”

[ http://www.scrappleface.com/?p=2179 ]

- SEAGOON
Title: Re: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: Airscrew on February 14, 2006, 02:21:51 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Seagoon
“When you’re in a foxhole,” said an unnamed Pentagon spokesman, “you don’t have time to think about whether the soldier next to you is fond of you, or if he might eat your MRE, or possibly go into labor. In a life or death situation, you can’t have distractions like that.”


Ok god, the military is doomed :O ,  lets hope the unnamed spokesman was the janitor :rolleyes:
Title: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: Sandman on February 14, 2006, 02:29:35 PM
Bring up the subject of homesexuals in the military and the most vocal heteros always seem to whine like women.

"He's looking at my butt." etc...
Title: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: Seagoon on February 14, 2006, 02:39:44 PM
Ah, but is he lusting after your last MRE Brownie? That kind of thing can really destroy unit cohesion.

All kidding aside, I've been surprised to find that the majority of convicts I've spoken to say that food starts more fights in prison than anything else. One prisoner I spoke with indicated that the closest he came to death was in a showdown over a stolen doughnut.

- SEAGOON
Title: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: Sandman on February 14, 2006, 02:46:24 PM
Even in the Navy, nothing could make me angrier than someone messing with my food.
Title: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: ~Caligula~ on February 14, 2006, 03:18:34 PM
Setting up gay divisions wouldn`t be such a bad idea. IMHO nothing`s more scary than 100000 studmuffins hitting ur beach...
Title: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: Airscrew on February 14, 2006, 03:43:18 PM
Quote
Originally posted by ~Caligula~
Setting up gay divisions wouldn`t be such a bad idea. IMHO nothing`s more scary than 100000 studmuffins hitting ur beach...


Watch out Caligula, we may have to send you to [lisp mode]sensitivity[lisp mode/]training  ;)
Title: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: storch on February 14, 2006, 03:44:19 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Sandman
Even in the Navy, nothing could make me angrier than someone messing with my food.
how did you feel about the switch to liquid soap?
Title: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: USHilDvl on February 14, 2006, 03:45:46 PM
Fat, pregnant soldiers....Yup, that'll work great.  I feel safer already.



:huh
Title: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: BlueJ1 on February 14, 2006, 03:52:20 PM
No.
Title: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: xrtoronto on February 14, 2006, 03:59:22 PM
Quote
Originally posted by ~Caligula~
Setting up gay divisions wouldn`t be such a bad idea. IMHO nothing`s more scary than 100000 studmuffins hitting ur beach...


and wearing only thongs:eek:
Title: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: Airscrew on February 14, 2006, 04:08:32 PM
Quote
Originally posted by xrtoronto
and wearing only thongs:eek:

I did not need that image in my head, Xrtoronto [need a puking smilie here:]
thanks alot
Title: Loved this Scrappleface...
Post by: RedTop on February 14, 2006, 05:01:46 PM
Quote
Originally posted by storch
how did you feel about the switch to liquid soap?


The rope prolly won't work right on it.