Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Morpheus on February 16, 2006, 08:12:24 PM
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Flipping through the channels and came across a cops show.
Guy gets pulled over for drunk driving. Has a joint behind his ear.... He's probably high on top of driving drunk. The cop asks him to step out of the car and goes on to ask if he is in possesion of any narcotics. "no no no" the guy replies.
Cop: Have you smoked in the last day?
Man: No no no sir I'd tell you if I did... Honest I would. I mean I just smoked a little weed but I havent had any today.
Cop: Are you SURE you dont have any drugs on you tonight sir?
Man: Honest sir, I'd honestly tell you, im being honest with you. I mean I might have a few roaches in the ashtray, but thats it.
The cop cuffs the guy and pulls the joint out from behind the guys ear...
Man: Oh wow, officer, good job sir. I forgot about that.
LOL wtf
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LOL...I saw that one!
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Yeah Stang ain't to bright.
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wow...i've done that before :D DEE DEE DEEEEEEEEEE:rolleyes:
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Our tax dollars at work. Go cigarette cops! :rolleyes:
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He was supporting the terrorists by buying Marijuana, Funked. You think that's OK? Why don't you support our troops? WHY?!
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Originally posted by FUNKED1
Our tax dollars at work. Go cigarette cops! :rolleyes:
Ahem...Police don't write the laws they just enforce them. Writing the law is done by legislators elected by citizens. If you don't like a particular law, cops can't help ya with the problem....you'll need to vote for some other legislator who tends to agree with you. And yes...it is your tax dollars at work... (and the cops tax dollars, since they pay taxes too).
Just wanted to clear that apparent misunderstanding up. Civics 101 is dismissed.
Zaphod :cool:
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I fondly remember the one where they're going down the highway, and see these huge tire marks swerving across both lanes, digging up dirt in the median, streaking through the oncoming lane, and ending up with a pickup turned around in the ditch.
cop goes up to the pickup, raps on window.
"Have you been drinking, sir?"
semi-coherent moan of culpability: "ooooohhhhh yeahhhH"
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My all time favorite is the one where the drunk is pulled over and the cop starts to do the sobriety test on him.
The drunk says "I can`t do that".
The cop says "Why?".
Drunk says " Hell, I`m too drunk. Can`t you see?".
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I get a kick out of how the slugs on that show try to be on their best behavior, and super polite...its so obvious they never use good manners normally as it seems so awkward for them.
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I have one that happened to me with CHP, that I wished would be in COPS.
I'm driving my company F250 on L.A.'s I10 crowded freeway at 6PM. I pull on an exit ramp and make a right on Crenshaw. I ear tire screetching and police sirens. I look in my miror just in time to see a police car coming from the same offramp, sliding sideway like in those chase movies, coming full speed in my lane.
I pull over to the right to let the cruiser go by. To my surprise, the guy glues right in my rear bumper, still with the lights on, but cut the siren. Oblivious I pull over.:confused:
Young CHP guy comes out and walks to the window of my truck.
- Sir, have you been drinking?
- :huh ... no
- Licence, registration, insurance.
- Here.
- Is it your vehicle?
- No, company truck.
- Sir, have you been drinking?
- No.
- Sir, have you been drinking.
- :rofl ... haven't had even a beer in at least 6 months, I don't like alchool.
- I saw you swirving in and out of your lane, and driving on the shoulder.
- :huh ... you stoped the wrong truck.
- Get out of the truck!
- Sure.
- Do this, do that, stand on your head while counting to 60 with a finger in your mouth.
(I easily comply, obviously not drunk)
- Go back in your vehicle. (Guy walks back in his cruiser)
(10 min later, exiting the cruiser, cop walks to the door, and throws licence/reg/insurance on my laps)
- You are good to got, stay safe.
(1 month later, the boss receives a ticket for tinted windows on the work truck).
I suspect he was a fresh CHP on a mission. I thought that not admitting he made a mistake and writing a ticket for tinted windows was a bit lame. I wonder what his boss would have thought of the Starky & Hutch driving parade.
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Originally posted by Jackal1
My all time favorite is the one where the drunk is pulled over and the cop starts to do the sobriety test on him.
The drunk says "I can`t do that".
The cop says "Why?".
Drunk says " Hell, I`m too drunk. Can`t you see?".
LOL..Im a retired cop myself. Keep in mind, that the sole thing police are trying to establish is order to make an arrest is called "probably cause". Statments made by drivers like this are a cops best friend :) I have had quite a few ppl state similar remarks, like after asking them to do the one leg stand, many have replied, "I can't even do that sober!"
Oh, a little tip for you drug users (that have stash in thier car), or ppl who illegally carry weapons in your car..not that I advocate either. But to this day, this little trick cops ask you still amazes me to this day. You may have been pulled over before and asked if you have any drugs or weapons in your car. If you do and dont want to admit to it..DO NOT reply, "uhm...no, not that I know of". That immediately tells the officer that you know their is drugs in the car, but when they find it, you are disclaiming any knowledge of it. Mind boggling, but every time i've asked the question and gotten that reply I hit paydirt.
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the best "cops" episode was the 1 where the cops pulled over a guy for picking his nose. After being pulled over and asked what he did wrong the cop said, " you were playing with your nose so much, your whole hand was obscurring your face, how can you see to drive while doing that." the driver then gets upset and ends up going to jail for resisting arrest and wreckless driving.... lol Classic lol
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Dam Frenchy! Sounds almost identical to what happened to us a few years back. Coming home from eating out for my birthday, none of us where drinking. My friend is driving, his girlfriend in the passenger seat, me and my girlfriend in the back, cop comes out of nowhere and pulls us over... Makes my friend go through all the same bull for 20 minutes then lets us go.
:huh
Some cops I'm really good friends with. Other cops I know shouldnt be cops, they should be the ones getting locked up.
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:)
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I've had that too. If they pull you over looking for a DUI or drugs and come up with nothing, they will cite you for some inconsequential violation out of frustration. Chicken****.
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Originally posted by FUNKED1
I've had that too. If they pull you over looking for a DUI or drugs and come up with nothing, they will cite you for some inconsequential violation out of frustration. Chicken****.
Not so, I did just to piss ppl off.
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Another good COPS show was when a patrol car comes across a couple of girlies, after a night of drinking, who parked their car and went running/dancing totally naked on someones lawn
They were both about 20-25 yrs old and very flurty :)
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ASSUME THE POSITION LADIES!:D
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Originally posted by Jackal1
My all time favorite is the one where the drunk is pulled over and the cop starts to do the sobriety test on him.
The drunk says "I can`t do that".
The cop says "Why?".
Drunk says " Hell, I`m too drunk. Can`t you see?".
Reminds me of somethig a buddy of mine did.
True story
After hoisting a few my buddy took a turn a bit too fast on a back road and ended up in a potato feild where he proceeded to get stuck trying to get out.
Cop comes along and gives him a sobriety test (walking the straight line) which he managed to do. Then the cop asked hi to recite the alphabet backwards.
My buddies responce was classic
"Hell I cant do that when Im sober!"
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Originally posted by Ohio43
LOL..Im a retired cop myself. Keep in mind, that the sole thing police are trying to establish is order to make an arrest is called "probably cause". Statments made by drivers like this are a cops best friend :) I have had quite a few ppl state similar remarks, like after asking them to do the one leg stand, many have replied, "I can't even do that sober!"
Oh, a little tip for you drug users (that have stash in thier car), or ppl who illegally carry weapons in your car..not that I advocate either. But to this day, this little trick cops ask you still amazes me to this day. You may have been pulled over before and asked if you have any drugs or weapons in your car. If you do and dont want to admit to it..DO NOT reply, "uhm...no, not that I know of". That immediately tells the officer that you know their is drugs in the car, but when they find it, you are disclaiming any knowledge of it. Mind boggling, but every time i've asked the question and gotten that reply I hit paydirt.
"I can't even do that sober!"
and there ya have it LMAO
"LOL..Im a retired cop myself. Keep in mind, that the sole thing police are trying to establish is order to make an arrest is called "probably cause"."
Ummmm errrr ahhhh ummmm
I think you mean "Probable" cause
If the only excuse you need is "probably cause"
this country is in a world of watermelon LMAO
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LMAO Morph....reminds of of a true (NS!:)) story, starring yours truly....
I was driving with a friend once, smoking a joint. We were pulled over by a Texas state highway patrol car. Thinking quickly, I chose to exit the vehicle and walk back to meet him, using the "light a Marlboro" SOP of odor masking. He met me next to his fender.
HP: "Drivers license please"
culero: "OK"
HP: "Mr. Myers I stopped you because one of your tail lights is not working, were you aware of that?"
culero: "No sir, but thanks. I'll attend to that right away."
HP: "OK. Mr. Myers, have you been smoking marijuana?"
culero: ~thinks "Oh F***, I forgot to light a Marlboro!"~
culero: ~backs up one small step, takes pack of Marlboros from packet, lights up~
culero: ~slowly and deliberately blows a lungful of tobacco smoke in the guy's face~
culero: ~deadpan~ "Ummm, nooo"
HP: ~very calmly with no change of expression~ "Mr. Myers, has anyone in your vehicle been smoking marijuana?"
culero: ~slowly and deliberately blows another lungful of tobacco smoke in the guy's face~
culero: "Ummm, nooo"
HP: ~still very calmly with no change of expression~ "Mr. Myers, have you just been somewhere where people were smoking marijuana?"
culero: ~slowly and deliberately blows yet another lungful of tobacco smoke in the guy's face~
culero: "Ummm, nooo" ~BIG grin~
HP: ~VERY animated~ "Well Golly-geeMIT I CAN SMELL IT ALL OVER YOUR ASS!!!"
culero: ~deadpan~ "Must be your upper lip"
HP: ~jaw hits chest, eyes pop~
I swear this is true, about the funniest thing I have ever done. The guy was fit to be tied :)
The story continues and gets even funnier, in case anyone is interested ;)
culero
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PS - for you kids at home, this is a perfect example of why you shouldn't use drugs (they make you stupid ;))
culero
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please continue, sir.
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OK (caught me at a good time, miserable weather outside today).
So the cop told me to wait there, as he intended to check the car out. Thinking "Oh s***, he's REALLY gonna get a whiff now :)" I said "OK" and leaned back against the trunk to wait.
He took off along the passenger side of the car. Next thing I know, I hear:
HP: "Sir?......Hello, sir?"
I looked around, and saw he wasn't talking to me. He was talking to my friend, so I said nothing.
Then he continued to repeat himself, a couple of times with pregnant pauses in between. That's when I remembered "Oh s***, that's Dan he's talking to".
See, my friend Dan is a big dumb Polacko. Nice guy, good to the core, just s_l_o_w.
And, more importantly, stone deaf in his right (curbside in this case) ear.
So, I determined that at risk of violating his lawful instructions, I should in any case approach the officer to intervene (since it would have been rude to shout ;))
As I walked around the corner of the car I observed that Dan's window was closed. No wonder the deaf SOB couldn't hear! So, I politely said:
culero: "Uhh, excuse me officer....."
HP: (back to me) ~jumps half a foot off the ground, reaches for holster~
"WHAT????"
Dan the Polacko: ~sees motion out of the corner of his eye, turns, sees a cop in mid-air grabbing for his gun, and shouts loudly~ "WHAT THE F***???"
culero: ~sees the stark terror produced by panic in the guy's eyes as he snaps around in mid-air to face halfway between Dan and I and try to watch both simultaneously~ ~raises both hands palm forward~ "Whoa, sir, just trying to help here!"
HP: "I TOLD YOU TO WAIT BACK THERE Golly-geeMIT!"
culero: "yes sir, I know, but you were also here trying to talk to a deaf man, and I thought you ought to know that"
HP: ~stares silently at me, looks at Dan who is staring at him with his mouth open like a fish, glares back at me then back at Dan~ ~shakes head~ "Golly-geemit. Golly-geeMIT!" ~gestures wildly~ "You guys get the f*** out of here!"
culero: ~stares back, starting to grin a bit now that he realizes the crisis is past~
HP: "I said GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE! NOW, Golly-geeMIT!"
culero: ~shrugs~ "OK" ~leaves~
Poor guy, he probably didn't deserve all of that :)
culero (and yes Dan never figured out WTF ;))