Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: AWMac on April 01, 2006, 06:15:54 PM
-
Well this has worked for me thru one Beautiful Daughter and I used it tonight for my youngest Daughter....
Take an empty 5th bottle of Vodka and fill it with water..
Break out the Mossberg or any weapon you have and cleaning kit.
When the N00B enters the house drink half of the water in the Vodka bottle.
Piece back the shotgun and clear the chamber *Cha Ching*....
look at the N00B with just the left eye....*for some reason it freaks em out*
Ask the N00B *Cha Ching* no longer lookin at the N00B but the shotgun.
"What time can I expect my Daughter home?" *Cha Ching*
They tend to answer in puppy voices... "Whaa Whaaa What time do you want her home Sir?" Now they call me Sir.. I got them where I want them....
I slightly mention as he opens the yellow Corvette door for my Daughter... "If she comes home in tears or is touched we'll talk like Men then...Got it?"
Works for me!!!
Mac
Anyone else raising Daughters done the same?
-
Thank Cod I had sons. Only have to worry about 2 dicks in town. :)
-
They say with Daughters you have to worry about every salamander in town...
With a Son ya hope he's the Best salamander in Town...
I just wish times were as simple now as they were then when I was a kid.
Mac
-
It's already planned for when my daughter gets old enough to start dating...
My best friend and I will duplicate the sceen from Bad Boys II.. the uncle waving the gun around sayin he's just got out of the joint etc etc.
And if that isn't enough, I hope to acquire a Barrett before she starts dating (I've still got a few years), and that'll be on the table to be cleaned.
-
Even if my Daughter want some tonight, the poor N00B would be afraid to even touch her.
The best part is I sit outside at 2:00 with the shotgun... if all is kewl he'll drive up into the driveway.. if not he'll drop her off at the edge of the edge of the driveway.
If latter then it gives me 2 clean shots at the Vette...
:aok
Mac
-
Originally posted by AWMac
Even if my Daughter want some tonight, the poor N00B would be afraid to even touch her.
The best part is I sit ouotside at 2:00 with the shotgun... if all is kewl he'll drive up into the driveway.. if not he'll drop her off at the edge of the driveway...
If latter then it gives me 2 clean shots at the Vette...
:aok
Mac
If the driveway isn't too long, use a slug for the first shot and aim for the engine block. If ya can disable the car with the first slug you'll get more than just 2 shots.
-
ALL YOUR DAUGHTERS ARE BELONG TO US!!!!
:noid
I can laugh now, my daughter is still a ways off from Prom. However, when I do get there I am sure I will be drinking a REAL bottle of booze and will have to pass out drunk in order to sleep at all that night!
You see the problem is ... I don't own any guns.
-
Start carving a Bar of Soap....
Mac
-
Originally posted by CavemanJ
If the driveway isn't too long, use a slug for the first shot and aim for the engine block. If ya can disable the car with the first slug you'll get more than just 2 shots.
12 guage pump MossBerg... took out the stick and can load more than 5 shells now...Ill Eagle I know but, My house, My turf...
Mac
-
Originally posted by AWMac
12 guage pump MossBerg... took out the stick and can load more than 5 shells now...Ill Eagle I know but, My house, My turf...
Mac
Ya still gotta disable the car with the first shot... or all those extra shells won't do ya any good.
Slug for the first shot, then use shells where ya dumped out the lead shot, and replaced it with 1/4" steel ball bearings.
>=)
-
relax macho dads, your daughter started having sex years ago, she did not tell you because your so uptight about it.
-
Originally posted by john9001
relax macho dads, your daughter started having sex years ago, she did not tell you because your so uptight about it.
If my daughter is already having sex... someone IS gonna die. Period.
She'll be 10 this summer.
-
Originally posted by john9001
relax macho dads, your daughter started having sex years ago, she did not tell you because your so uptight about it.
John how's yer Mom doing?
Mac
yer Lunch money is on the nightstand...
-
I have my prom in about a month. My dates father already went through the routine when I met him a few months ago. But, I sorta put a wrench in his plan when I first met him and the wife by calling her ma'am and him sir and offering to shake his hand before he even thought of it. He seemed stupified at the fact I didnt have my pants down around my ankles and Im not a complete hooligan. But, by now I think Im closer to him then her.
-
Originally posted by john9001
relax macho dads, your daughter started having sex years ago, she did not tell you because your so uptight about it.
Yep.
-
When I was dating my then-girlfriend (now wifey), I got the pleasure of getting to stare down the business end of her dad's 12-guage on more than one occasion.
Take my word for it--that kid is laughing his butt off at you as soon as he pulls out of the driveway.
To put things a little more directly (this might be a little out of character for me)...it didn't stop me from sleeping with her, and it won't keep that "NOOB" from it if your daughter wants to, either.
The funny part is my father-in-law and I joke about it now.
J_A_B
-
If my date's dad ever called me a NOOB I think Id be scared that I knew him from here.
-
Raised 2 daughters.... sons are way easier.
-
But, by now I think Im closer to him then her.
I wouldn't have a prob with my Daughter going to the Prom with a Ghey like you.... Instead of the shotgun it would be a lil "HandGun" Huh?
Be real, have you raised children?
Mac
-
Originally posted by AWMac
I wouldn't have a prob with my Daughter going to the Prom with a Ghey like you.... Instead of the shotgun it would be a lil "HandGun" Huh?
Be real, have you raised children?
Mac
Yea thats it. Im gay. Thankyou for tha insight Dr. Phil.
And no I havnt had the pleasure of having kids at the age of 18.
-
LMFAO I was replying to John and you RUSH outta the Closet!!!!
LOLOLOLOLOL
Mac
:rofl :D :lol :O
-
Originally posted by BlueJ1
Yea thats it. Im gay. Thankyou for tha insight Dr. Phil.
And no I havnt had the pleasure of having kids at the age of 18.
Muahahhhahhahahhahaaa....
Sig stuff!!!
Mac
-
Originally posted by AWMac
LMFAO I was replying to John and you RUSH outta the Closet!!!!
LOLOLOLOLOL
Mac
:rofl :D :lol :O
You quoted me.
-
Shhhhh.... we won't mention a thing BlueJ1.... back into the closet!
LMFAO
Frikkin comming out on a BBS on a misquote.....
-
Originally posted by AWMac
Shhhhh.... we won't mention a thing BlueJ1.... back into the closet!
LMFAO
Frikkin comming out on a BBS on a misquote.....
It happens.
I would laugh at someone who said that to. I deserved it.
-
I'll have to post the IMG tomorrow but BlueJ1
"Touche"
Mac
No "Hard" Feelings LLOLOLOLOOLLOLLL...
sorry...dammm my sides hurt....LOL
Hold my belt loop Biyatch and call me "Sir"
Mac
-
Sir
-
Originally posted by BlueJ1
Sir
Mine!!!! Back Off!!!!
Mac
-
I wasn't that bad. Well, not all that bad.
I just walked up behind the kid, tapped him on the shoulder.
I drove by your house today.
Big pause
Nice place!
Another pause
My little girl better come home on time, and HAPPY tonight right?
Ehhhh
"Right, yeah" (lots of nodding)
Good, so then I won't have to worry about going back to your house. Maybe burning it down with your family and you in it. Cool.
Walk away
She was home, ON time, unhappy about being delivered on time, untouched.
She never did figure out how.
Grin
-
Originally posted by AWMac
John how's yer Mom doing?
Mac
she died at age 99, thanks for asking.